"Day Off Day"
Because I just can't help myself, apparently...
Title: Day Off Day
Pairing: Kradam Friendship Of Complicatedness / Adam/Drake / Kris/Katy
Rating: PG-13 (oooh! kissessss! lol)
Warnings: Um, continuity errors? Timing/placing/truth distortion? Flat out lies? Oh, and some boy!kissing.
Author's Ramblings: My brain said, 'hey, seriously, what could have happened in NY with that whole exploding fandom insanity over post-GMA? I dunno, but here's some words. Type them, bench.' And thusly this fic was born. So there. :)
OMFG, WHY can I not remember this?! joannacullen is one of the world's greatest betas, and I luh her. Sorry I keep spacing, bb!
Kris hopped into the room, converse squeaking on the floor.
"There you are!" Continuing his happy trot over to the couch, he leaned over the back of it to kiss Katy on the cheek.
"What're we doin'? Ooh, pictures, cool! Can I play?" He teased.
Kris hadn't felt this good in a long time. He was home (well, home-ish). With his wife. His beautiful, funny, smart, patient-as-a-saint wife. He had a day off. A whole day! It was almost too good to be true.
"Did we get a new album? Is that what we're doin' today? Cuz, I gotta tell ya, that sounds awesome."
Katy looks at him for the first time and smiles that brilliant smile that warms Kris' heart every time. There are a lot of things he loves about Katy, but that smile...yeah, that's one of his favorites.
"I mean, okay, I had a few other things in mind, as well, but we can totally do this, too."
"'Other things, hmm?"
Kris grins at her almost lasciviously - as much as someone with a face that purely adorable can - and waggles his eyebrows the way he knows always makes her giggle. God, how he loves that giggle.
Kris looks down at the picture in her hand. It's one of their wedding reception photos, taken with a disposable camera. Charles handed one out to three or four people and told them to take pictures. Kris had to say, that was one of his best ideas ever. The candid shots, the different angles of the same scenes, the silly photos that wouldn't be taken by a professional but were so very them that he almost preferred those to the "official" pictures. Sure, they'd gotten a few excellent shots of a very large thumb and a close-up of someone's violet taffeta gown sleeve, but it was all good.
This particular one, Kris hasn't seen before, which is kinda surprising, since he and Katy put together the album -- well, they'd started it together, but then Idol came along, and she'd had to finish it on her own. It was disappointing to Kris, and to Katy, too, he assumed. Still, he thought he'd at least seen them all.
"What's this one? I don't remember it." Katy is in the foreground, chatting animatedly with some guests, looking happy as only a bride can. Behind her and to the left, a little ways away, Kris is watching her, oblivious to pretty much everything else around him, with this goofy grin and shining, adoring eyes. His whole demeanor radiates 'Wow, she's mine' and complete, absolute Love.
"It's my favorite. I made copies so I could carry one around with me while you were away. Every time I'd miss you, I'd look at this picture and remember what it was all for." Her voice is a little thick, filling with emotion, and Kris scoots closer to her to put his arm around her, cuddling her to his side and pressing a long kiss to the side of her head.
Pulling his face away just far enough to rest his forehead where he'd just kissed and say in a soft, low voice, "Look at us now, baby. We did it. It was worth it. All those months, all those lonely nights and insanely long days - it was all worth it, Katy. You and me, we did it, we made it." He uses his free hand to cup her face and turn it towards him so they're touching foreheads and noses. "We made it real, honey. Our real life. It's ours." He looks her in the eyes, giving her a little Eskimo kiss. "I love you, Katy-bear." Kris presses a sweet, chaste kiss to Katy's lips, then pulls away, keeping his one arm wrapped around her.
It's only then that Kris realizes Katy's crying.
"Oh, baby. Shh, hush, now." He coos in her ear, bringing her back close to him, her head on his heart.
A sniffle and quietly broken, "Kris," and Katy's pulling away to look him in the eyes. Her face is serious, but her tears are easing, and it seems the minor emotional dam burst is ending, much to Kris' relief. This is so not how he was planning to spend today. No tears on Day Off Day. It's a rule, he's sure.
He smiles at her, stretching to kiss her forehead, then sits back down. "So, how about we--"
"Kris, we need to talk about something."
Why is that sounding so ominous? There should also be no ominous sounding talks on Day Off Day.
"All right. Baby, are you--"
"Please, Kris. I just- I just need to have you not talk for a little bit, alright? I'm not upset or angry, I just need to get this out, and I can't--"
"Okay, Katy, okay. Go ahead. I'll listen."
She smiles small and grateful before sobering again and reaching for a stack of pictures on the floor beside the couch. They don't look like wedding photos. Some aren't even actual pictures, they're print-out copies, and Kris is starting to get a knot in his stomach.
Katy stares at the one on top for a moment, then hands it to Kris. It's one from the Good Morning America thing he and Adam did yesterday. The two of them are off to stage left, talking about something Kris doesn't really remember. He looks at Katy confused and expecting some sort of explanation, but all he gets is another photo handed to him. Another from yesterday, this one with Adam leaning in to say something to Kris. Adam's hand is up near Kris' face, and they're huddled together looking for all the world like two school boys sharing secrets on the playground.
Oh, yeah. Kris remembers that one. It was loud, both in the earpieces and all around them, and Adam was talking about some collaboration for his album, someone who worked with Lady Gaga. It wasn't exactly a secret, but all the same, discretion is always the better route. Plus, again, very loud. Honestly, he doesn't understand how or why people get up before dawn, come down to wrestle a giant crowd, and gleefully scream their heads off for four hours for him. It's crazy.
Kris is shaken from his reverie when another photo is thrust under his vision and into his hands.
And then another. And another. And yet another. And then they aren't just from the GMA show, but from the tour, from Idol performances and elimination nights, from places Kris hardly even remembers - photo after photo, candid shots and snaps from the silly "Kradam" stuff he and Adam pull on stage, interviews, and, good God, where did Katy get all of these? And why?
He wants to open his mouth, wants to ask what the heck is going on, wants to say something, but he promised he'd just listen and that's what he'll do. Or he would, if Katy would start talking, for Pete's sake.
"What do you see, Kris?"
Kris checks her expression before saying anything, making sure that wasn't rhetorical. "Um, I see- uhm--"
Katy sighs, so Kris tries harder to figure out what she wants to hear.
"I see - I see me and Adam?" He didn't mean for it to be a question, but she's got him on uneven ground, here.
"Yes. You and Adam. And?"
Oh, for cryin' out loud -
"Me and Adam... um, talking? And- and hugging?" Kris really wishes she'd just tell him what he's supposed to see so they can move on. This is not the fun time Kris had been expecting when he woke up this morning. He should not have to be confused and feeling a little defensive on Day Off Day. Why does no one want to follow the rules, here?
"Talking. Hugging." She repeats, confirming. Then, "Staring, laughing, teasing, dancing, touching, singing - not just singing, but to each other singing, oh, and did I mention the staring? Because there's an awful lot of that." She's starting to sound less pleasant.
"Okay..."
"No, Kristopher, it is not 'okay'. It is very much not 'okay' that you --" Katy takes a deep breath, realizing she was getting a frantic tone that she wanted to avoid. Yelling will not help the situation, and this is a conversation that needs to be had. It has for a while, but she's put it off because of time, and the tour, and because she knows how much Adam means to Kris. Except that's kind of the problem. Adam means an awful lot to Kris, and lately she's been feeling somewhat uncomfortable about it all.
"I know you and Adam are friends. I know you mean a lot to each other, and that's fine, honey, that's great. You need a friend like him, one that's going through what you're going through and can understand when I can't. I'm glad you have someone like that, I really am, but, Kris." She sighs, looking down at the picture in her hand. The picture that pushed her over the edge. The picture that might actually cause the biggest fight she and Kris have ever, or maybe will ever have had.
Katy takes the stack of "evidence" from Kris and places it on the table. Holding two pictures in her own hands, she asks Kris, "Kris would you close your eyes for a minute?"
"What?"
"Please? I want to show you something and I need to do it this way, so please close your eyes."
Kris complies warily. He's pretty sure this isn't some kind of a leading-to-fun-times game.
"Okay. Open them."
Katy is holding the picture from their wedding, her favorite, in front of Kris. "Take it. Look at it, Kris. Look really, really hard."
He does, pushing away the random thought of trying to find Waldo. Kris figures laughing or making a joke like that would help the situation like tying a brick to a butterfly would help its flight.
"Do you see yourself, Kris?"
"Of course. Katy, I--"
"Ah - no. Just do as I ask. Look at your face. Now, close your eyes again."
Kris is getting tired of this. This is his first day off in forever, and he does not want to spend it playing peek-a-boo with his passive-aggressive, photo-obsessed wife. Seriously, where did she even get all of those pictures? If he knew it was going to be like this, he would have just stayed with Adam. Oh. Except he couldn't stay with Adam because Drake is staying with Adam. Drake The Boyfriend. Kris still doesn't get why the guy bugs him so much. He seems perfectly nice, and Adam likes him, which is usually all Kris needs to know about someone - even Brad. Although, Kris will admit that even if Adam isn't holding a grudge against the guy, Kris can't help but feel a little protective over Adam when Brad's around.
He hasn't been around much, though -- because of Drake. The Boyfriend. Kris guesses that would be awkward. Kind of like that lunch with DrakeTheBoyfriend and Adam a few weeks ago. Yeah, that was awkward. Adam didn't seem to notice, though, so maybe it was just in Kris' head. Probably. Why is he even thinking about them right now? Now, when his wife is obviously having some sort of melt-down or something.
"...Kris?"
He opens his eyes, Katy looking back at him with a hint of worry. Kris has been getting lost in his own head a lot lately. He marks it down as fallout from exhaustion and the overwhelming amount of his new life he's had to contend with.
Kris looks down from Katy's face to the picture she's holding out to him. It's another from GMA, and he hasn't seen this one, either. It's high quality, clear, and glossy. Katy must have gotten it printed on photo paper or something. Which is really weird, but whatever, that's not the weirdest thing about today, anyway.
Holding the picture at a distance where he can take it all in at once, Kris focuses on his own face the same way he was told to for the other picture. It's of him looking up - well, obviously, the man is a giant - at Adam. Adam's back is to the camera, but you can see enough of his face to know he's looking at Kris and talking to him.
Kris remembers this. Adam was telling him about a song he was writing, but didn't want anyone else to know. He's shy like that. Which is one of Kris' favorite things about Adam - he may look like a fierce, glittery alien, but he's got the most tender heart, the most gentle soul, and this humble streak that is completely endearing. The fact that he trusts Kris enough to tell him about things that he'd be reluctant to share with anyone else, makes Kris swell with pride and genuine gratitude. And love.
Oh.
Kris stares at the picture again, this time taking in the details he was apparently missing. The details that it seems he was the only one missing. Well, him and probably Adam. It's not like Kris didn't know he loved Adam. Of course he did. How could he not? Adam's ... Adam. Loving Adam is just kind of a given, once you get to know him. And even before you meet him, if the thousands of screaming fans are anything to go by. So, yeah, Kris totally loves Adam. What's the big deal?
The big deal? Right. That would be what this picture is all about. It's what this whole horrific situation has been about. The look on Kris' face in that picture --
"Oh." Kris more mouths than whispers.
Katy's tears are back in her eyes, but not spilling over, yet. "Do you see it?"
Kris can't turn away. Can't look at her. Can't do anything except stare, gape at what his brain is still trying to reject, even though his eyes insist it's undeniable.
It's the same face.
Oh my God. "Oh, God." Kris is no more audible than before, but he thinks his throat is closing up and his tongue is too big for his mouth and he's having an actual heart attack, because there's no way he can't be with the way his heart is beating and constricting and stopping, just to start again like an elephant giving CPR.
That look. That same face. That stupid, doe-eyed, glassed-over, love-sick-puppy, enthralled and in awe expression, and it's on his face. Why is it on his face? What is that look, and why is he - how is that even - it doesn't make sense. No sense at all. It was just Adam. Talking about a song. Sharing lyrics and the idea of a melody and it was just. Adam.
"M-music." Kris stutters out, mostly unaware he did so.
"What?"
"Wh-we were- he was telling me- it was about music." He tears his eyes away from the two photos in his hands, upward, unblinking into those of his wife. "He's writing a song. He d-didn't want anyone- oh, you can't tell him! Don't tell him I said--" Off of her expression, Kris stops abruptly, backtracks, and tries again. "We were just talking about music." He finishes weakly.
He sounds like a child trying to explain why, 'yes, he did break the lamp, but it's not how it looks,' but knows he's going to get punished, and is resigned to that fact. It's a token effort, a Pavlovian response, and Kris wishes he could please, please go back to when he woke up and he was happy and Day Off Day hadn't turned into Kris Is Having An Existential Identity Crisis Day.
"Honey." Katy has softened, like the anger has leeched out of her, and now she can try to mend whatever has been broken. "You see it, don't you, Kris? You see that look?"
Kris can only nod, jerky and shallow, barely meeting her eye.
"Do you see why I -- Can you understand why I'd be upset? You've only ever looked at me that way. And only a few times, that I've seen. Look at these pictures, Kris. Look at all of these. There are dozens, hundreds more just like them. It's hard to find a picture where you aren't staring at him like he's... I don't even know. Like he holds the answers to all the questions of the universe or something." She speeds through that last sentence, trying for flippant and missing, but hits the edge between bitter and lost.
Kris tries to do something - anything - to fix this, "I don't - I - he isn't - It's not like that, Katy. I - I thought you," He sighs, thoughts not coming to him and his mouth is fairing no better. "I didn't know." He realizes that's the truth. The real, bare, pure truth of the matter. He didn't know.
How could he not know? Not know himself, not know how Katy felt, not know how he looked at Adam. How could he not know any of this? What is this even called? He's never been able to label his and Adam's relationship beyond being best friends. It's been more than that, deeper than that, since the first few weeks in the Idol House. Neither of them really knew how to define it even then, and were completely unconcerned with trying. It just was. Is. It just is.
Except now Kris has to think about it, what it means, what he feels - God, he does not want to think about feelings right now. Granted, Day Off Day is officially ruined beyond all repair, and this makes Kris very, very sad, but he still would rather be getting a Novocain-free root canal instead of trying to identify his feelings about Adam. Or for him, he guesses.
His feelings for Adam. Feelings for Adam? What does that even mean?
Feelings. For Adam. Feelings.
Worst Day Off Day in the world's history of ever.
Kris looks at Katy with more confusion than he's ever felt, and he's bordering on despair. A deep, shuddering breath in that Kris doesn't release as he asks, barely able to get out the words, "What do you want me to do?"
--------------------------------------
IN A LAND FAR, FAR AWAY... (or something like that...)
"You can't tell me there's nothing there, Adam. I see it - the whole world sees it!"
"It isn't like that with us! It might look, I don't know, however it looks, but it's - I'm with you. Okay? If I didn't have stronger feelings for you than for someone else, I wouldn't put us both through the misery of a relationship where neither of us gets what we want." Adam takes Drake's hands in his, eyes pleading for understanding. "You know me. I'm loyal in a relationship. I'm loyal even when it's not - you know that I've never cheated on anyone I've been with. You are my boyfriend. You. I can't apologize for my friendship with Kris; I won't. But I am sorry if I made you feel like you were less important to me. You aren't."
"You love him?" It's a question, but it's got the definitiveness of a statement.
"Of course. You know that, he knows that, everyone knows that. But it isn't like that. It--"
"You love me?" And that's a question.
Adam startles slightly, face falling into the beginnings of a practiced neutrality, hands stilling, even as they keep hold of the other pair.
"Drake--"
"It's a fair question, cher."
"No, it isn't, because the way I love Kris is not the way that I would love you, and you know it. You know how I feel about that word. What it means. You promised you wouldn't try and force--"
"I know, and I'm not. I'm not. It's just," Drake slides his hands out of Adam's grasp and starts pacing again, the hideous hotel carpet still holding the imprints where he stepped so many times in the last half-hour or so. "You say it so easy, Adam. You say it to him, about him, all the time."
"Because it doesn't mean--" Adam sounds a little plaintive, more than a little frustrated with having to repeat himself, and he just wishes this stupid, stupid fight would end so they could get back to actually enjoying his first day off in what feels like a decade.
"Maybe not, babe, but it's still the words you won't say to me, and you're saying them to another man. One that I know for a fact you're attracted to. How is that fair?"
Adam has to concede that point. If he were in Drake's position, he'd feel the same way. He really doesn't want to lose this argument, but if it's going to end it, then he'll take the hit.
"You're right. It's not. Look, honey, I'm sorry, okay? I don't want you to feel like this, I really don't. When you said you wanted to take our friendship to a different level, I never once thought about Kris. I was excited to be able to share all of this that's happening with you, not for any reason other than I like spending time with you. Well, that and you're very, very pretty."
That made Drake smile, and that block of ice in Adam's stomach melts to a third of its size.
"I don't mean to sound like a jealous girlfriend, babe. I'm just... a jealous girlfriend."
That made them both laugh, and the warmth was back, filling Adam with the happiness he'd started with this morning.
"You've got nothing to be jealous about." Adam wraps his arms around Drake from behind, snuggling his head in the crook of his neck, and rocking them back and forth slightly. Cheek to cheek, Adam lets his voice go to that place where it starts to get gravelly and quiet. "You're mine. And you've got me." Turning his head, Adam places a tender kiss on Drake's cheek. "We good, babe?"
Drake nods, intoxicated with Adam. He tilts his head, so Adam's mouth is on his ear again, because, yes, that is so very nice. Oh, and that's even better, the licking.
Adam nuzzles his way under Drake's ear, placing kisses and little licks all over. Down his neck, and he bites, and Drake pushes backwards with his hips in automatic response. Adam growls, twirls Drake around to face him, crushes their bodies together, and attaches his lips to Drake's. Long, slow kisses mixed with rough, demanding bites. Adam uses one hand to keep them as close as possible without actually occupying the same space, and the other to grip Drake's face, fingers in his hair, holding him where Adam is able to bruise that pretty mouth all he wants.
Yeah, this is how Adam wants to spend what Kris dubbed "Day Off Day"- with yummy kisses and being as not-dressed as he can for as long as he can. Yes. This is definitely how Day Off Days should be spent. He hopes Kris is having as much fun as Adam is planning on having. Though, he probably should stop thinking about Kris while making out with his boyfriend, who he just got finished fighting with over his relationship with Kris. That would probably be good.
"You are wearing far too many pairs of pants right now."
"I'm only wearing the one pair, cher."
"Like I said. Too many." Adam shoves Drake backwards onto the bed, where he bounces a few times, flushed. "Off." Adam commands to a more-than-willing-to-comply Drake.
Adam seriously loves Day Off Days.
Title: Day Off Day
Pairing: Kradam Friendship Of Complicatedness / Adam/Drake / Kris/Katy
Rating: PG-13 (oooh! kissessss! lol)
Warnings: Um, continuity errors? Timing/placing/truth distortion? Flat out lies? Oh, and some boy!kissing.
Author's Ramblings: My brain said, 'hey, seriously, what could have happened in NY with that whole exploding fandom insanity over post-GMA? I dunno, but here's some words. Type them, bench.' And thusly this fic was born. So there. :)
OMFG, WHY can I not remember this?! joannacullen is one of the world's greatest betas, and I luh her. Sorry I keep spacing, bb!
Kris hopped into the room, converse squeaking on the floor.
"There you are!" Continuing his happy trot over to the couch, he leaned over the back of it to kiss Katy on the cheek.
"What're we doin'? Ooh, pictures, cool! Can I play?" He teased.
Kris hadn't felt this good in a long time. He was home (well, home-ish). With his wife. His beautiful, funny, smart, patient-as-a-saint wife. He had a day off. A whole day! It was almost too good to be true.
"Did we get a new album? Is that what we're doin' today? Cuz, I gotta tell ya, that sounds awesome."
Katy looks at him for the first time and smiles that brilliant smile that warms Kris' heart every time. There are a lot of things he loves about Katy, but that smile...yeah, that's one of his favorites.
"I mean, okay, I had a few other things in mind, as well, but we can totally do this, too."
"'Other things, hmm?"
Kris grins at her almost lasciviously - as much as someone with a face that purely adorable can - and waggles his eyebrows the way he knows always makes her giggle. God, how he loves that giggle.
Kris looks down at the picture in her hand. It's one of their wedding reception photos, taken with a disposable camera. Charles handed one out to three or four people and told them to take pictures. Kris had to say, that was one of his best ideas ever. The candid shots, the different angles of the same scenes, the silly photos that wouldn't be taken by a professional but were so very them that he almost preferred those to the "official" pictures. Sure, they'd gotten a few excellent shots of a very large thumb and a close-up of someone's violet taffeta gown sleeve, but it was all good.
This particular one, Kris hasn't seen before, which is kinda surprising, since he and Katy put together the album -- well, they'd started it together, but then Idol came along, and she'd had to finish it on her own. It was disappointing to Kris, and to Katy, too, he assumed. Still, he thought he'd at least seen them all.
"What's this one? I don't remember it." Katy is in the foreground, chatting animatedly with some guests, looking happy as only a bride can. Behind her and to the left, a little ways away, Kris is watching her, oblivious to pretty much everything else around him, with this goofy grin and shining, adoring eyes. His whole demeanor radiates 'Wow, she's mine' and complete, absolute Love.
"It's my favorite. I made copies so I could carry one around with me while you were away. Every time I'd miss you, I'd look at this picture and remember what it was all for." Her voice is a little thick, filling with emotion, and Kris scoots closer to her to put his arm around her, cuddling her to his side and pressing a long kiss to the side of her head.
Pulling his face away just far enough to rest his forehead where he'd just kissed and say in a soft, low voice, "Look at us now, baby. We did it. It was worth it. All those months, all those lonely nights and insanely long days - it was all worth it, Katy. You and me, we did it, we made it." He uses his free hand to cup her face and turn it towards him so they're touching foreheads and noses. "We made it real, honey. Our real life. It's ours." He looks her in the eyes, giving her a little Eskimo kiss. "I love you, Katy-bear." Kris presses a sweet, chaste kiss to Katy's lips, then pulls away, keeping his one arm wrapped around her.
It's only then that Kris realizes Katy's crying.
"Oh, baby. Shh, hush, now." He coos in her ear, bringing her back close to him, her head on his heart.
A sniffle and quietly broken, "Kris," and Katy's pulling away to look him in the eyes. Her face is serious, but her tears are easing, and it seems the minor emotional dam burst is ending, much to Kris' relief. This is so not how he was planning to spend today. No tears on Day Off Day. It's a rule, he's sure.
He smiles at her, stretching to kiss her forehead, then sits back down. "So, how about we--"
"Kris, we need to talk about something."
Why is that sounding so ominous? There should also be no ominous sounding talks on Day Off Day.
"All right. Baby, are you--"
"Please, Kris. I just- I just need to have you not talk for a little bit, alright? I'm not upset or angry, I just need to get this out, and I can't--"
"Okay, Katy, okay. Go ahead. I'll listen."
She smiles small and grateful before sobering again and reaching for a stack of pictures on the floor beside the couch. They don't look like wedding photos. Some aren't even actual pictures, they're print-out copies, and Kris is starting to get a knot in his stomach.
Katy stares at the one on top for a moment, then hands it to Kris. It's one from the Good Morning America thing he and Adam did yesterday. The two of them are off to stage left, talking about something Kris doesn't really remember. He looks at Katy confused and expecting some sort of explanation, but all he gets is another photo handed to him. Another from yesterday, this one with Adam leaning in to say something to Kris. Adam's hand is up near Kris' face, and they're huddled together looking for all the world like two school boys sharing secrets on the playground.
Oh, yeah. Kris remembers that one. It was loud, both in the earpieces and all around them, and Adam was talking about some collaboration for his album, someone who worked with Lady Gaga. It wasn't exactly a secret, but all the same, discretion is always the better route. Plus, again, very loud. Honestly, he doesn't understand how or why people get up before dawn, come down to wrestle a giant crowd, and gleefully scream their heads off for four hours for him. It's crazy.
Kris is shaken from his reverie when another photo is thrust under his vision and into his hands.
And then another. And another. And yet another. And then they aren't just from the GMA show, but from the tour, from Idol performances and elimination nights, from places Kris hardly even remembers - photo after photo, candid shots and snaps from the silly "Kradam" stuff he and Adam pull on stage, interviews, and, good God, where did Katy get all of these? And why?
He wants to open his mouth, wants to ask what the heck is going on, wants to say something, but he promised he'd just listen and that's what he'll do. Or he would, if Katy would start talking, for Pete's sake.
"What do you see, Kris?"
Kris checks her expression before saying anything, making sure that wasn't rhetorical. "Um, I see- uhm--"
Katy sighs, so Kris tries harder to figure out what she wants to hear.
"I see - I see me and Adam?" He didn't mean for it to be a question, but she's got him on uneven ground, here.
"Yes. You and Adam. And?"
Oh, for cryin' out loud -
"Me and Adam... um, talking? And- and hugging?" Kris really wishes she'd just tell him what he's supposed to see so they can move on. This is not the fun time Kris had been expecting when he woke up this morning. He should not have to be confused and feeling a little defensive on Day Off Day. Why does no one want to follow the rules, here?
"Talking. Hugging." She repeats, confirming. Then, "Staring, laughing, teasing, dancing, touching, singing - not just singing, but to each other singing, oh, and did I mention the staring? Because there's an awful lot of that." She's starting to sound less pleasant.
"Okay..."
"No, Kristopher, it is not 'okay'. It is very much not 'okay' that you --" Katy takes a deep breath, realizing she was getting a frantic tone that she wanted to avoid. Yelling will not help the situation, and this is a conversation that needs to be had. It has for a while, but she's put it off because of time, and the tour, and because she knows how much Adam means to Kris. Except that's kind of the problem. Adam means an awful lot to Kris, and lately she's been feeling somewhat uncomfortable about it all.
"I know you and Adam are friends. I know you mean a lot to each other, and that's fine, honey, that's great. You need a friend like him, one that's going through what you're going through and can understand when I can't. I'm glad you have someone like that, I really am, but, Kris." She sighs, looking down at the picture in her hand. The picture that pushed her over the edge. The picture that might actually cause the biggest fight she and Kris have ever, or maybe will ever have had.
Katy takes the stack of "evidence" from Kris and places it on the table. Holding two pictures in her own hands, she asks Kris, "Kris would you close your eyes for a minute?"
"What?"
"Please? I want to show you something and I need to do it this way, so please close your eyes."
Kris complies warily. He's pretty sure this isn't some kind of a leading-to-fun-times game.
"Okay. Open them."
Katy is holding the picture from their wedding, her favorite, in front of Kris. "Take it. Look at it, Kris. Look really, really hard."
He does, pushing away the random thought of trying to find Waldo. Kris figures laughing or making a joke like that would help the situation like tying a brick to a butterfly would help its flight.
"Do you see yourself, Kris?"
"Of course. Katy, I--"
"Ah - no. Just do as I ask. Look at your face. Now, close your eyes again."
Kris is getting tired of this. This is his first day off in forever, and he does not want to spend it playing peek-a-boo with his passive-aggressive, photo-obsessed wife. Seriously, where did she even get all of those pictures? If he knew it was going to be like this, he would have just stayed with Adam. Oh. Except he couldn't stay with Adam because Drake is staying with Adam. Drake The Boyfriend. Kris still doesn't get why the guy bugs him so much. He seems perfectly nice, and Adam likes him, which is usually all Kris needs to know about someone - even Brad. Although, Kris will admit that even if Adam isn't holding a grudge against the guy, Kris can't help but feel a little protective over Adam when Brad's around.
He hasn't been around much, though -- because of Drake. The Boyfriend. Kris guesses that would be awkward. Kind of like that lunch with DrakeTheBoyfriend and Adam a few weeks ago. Yeah, that was awkward. Adam didn't seem to notice, though, so maybe it was just in Kris' head. Probably. Why is he even thinking about them right now? Now, when his wife is obviously having some sort of melt-down or something.
"...Kris?"
He opens his eyes, Katy looking back at him with a hint of worry. Kris has been getting lost in his own head a lot lately. He marks it down as fallout from exhaustion and the overwhelming amount of his new life he's had to contend with.
Kris looks down from Katy's face to the picture she's holding out to him. It's another from GMA, and he hasn't seen this one, either. It's high quality, clear, and glossy. Katy must have gotten it printed on photo paper or something. Which is really weird, but whatever, that's not the weirdest thing about today, anyway.
Holding the picture at a distance where he can take it all in at once, Kris focuses on his own face the same way he was told to for the other picture. It's of him looking up - well, obviously, the man is a giant - at Adam. Adam's back is to the camera, but you can see enough of his face to know he's looking at Kris and talking to him.
Kris remembers this. Adam was telling him about a song he was writing, but didn't want anyone else to know. He's shy like that. Which is one of Kris' favorite things about Adam - he may look like a fierce, glittery alien, but he's got the most tender heart, the most gentle soul, and this humble streak that is completely endearing. The fact that he trusts Kris enough to tell him about things that he'd be reluctant to share with anyone else, makes Kris swell with pride and genuine gratitude. And love.
Oh.
Kris stares at the picture again, this time taking in the details he was apparently missing. The details that it seems he was the only one missing. Well, him and probably Adam. It's not like Kris didn't know he loved Adam. Of course he did. How could he not? Adam's ... Adam. Loving Adam is just kind of a given, once you get to know him. And even before you meet him, if the thousands of screaming fans are anything to go by. So, yeah, Kris totally loves Adam. What's the big deal?
The big deal? Right. That would be what this picture is all about. It's what this whole horrific situation has been about. The look on Kris' face in that picture --
"Oh." Kris more mouths than whispers.
Katy's tears are back in her eyes, but not spilling over, yet. "Do you see it?"
Kris can't turn away. Can't look at her. Can't do anything except stare, gape at what his brain is still trying to reject, even though his eyes insist it's undeniable.
It's the same face.
Oh my God. "Oh, God." Kris is no more audible than before, but he thinks his throat is closing up and his tongue is too big for his mouth and he's having an actual heart attack, because there's no way he can't be with the way his heart is beating and constricting and stopping, just to start again like an elephant giving CPR.
That look. That same face. That stupid, doe-eyed, glassed-over, love-sick-puppy, enthralled and in awe expression, and it's on his face. Why is it on his face? What is that look, and why is he - how is that even - it doesn't make sense. No sense at all. It was just Adam. Talking about a song. Sharing lyrics and the idea of a melody and it was just. Adam.
"M-music." Kris stutters out, mostly unaware he did so.
"What?"
"Wh-we were- he was telling me- it was about music." He tears his eyes away from the two photos in his hands, upward, unblinking into those of his wife. "He's writing a song. He d-didn't want anyone- oh, you can't tell him! Don't tell him I said--" Off of her expression, Kris stops abruptly, backtracks, and tries again. "We were just talking about music." He finishes weakly.
He sounds like a child trying to explain why, 'yes, he did break the lamp, but it's not how it looks,' but knows he's going to get punished, and is resigned to that fact. It's a token effort, a Pavlovian response, and Kris wishes he could please, please go back to when he woke up and he was happy and Day Off Day hadn't turned into Kris Is Having An Existential Identity Crisis Day.
"Honey." Katy has softened, like the anger has leeched out of her, and now she can try to mend whatever has been broken. "You see it, don't you, Kris? You see that look?"
Kris can only nod, jerky and shallow, barely meeting her eye.
"Do you see why I -- Can you understand why I'd be upset? You've only ever looked at me that way. And only a few times, that I've seen. Look at these pictures, Kris. Look at all of these. There are dozens, hundreds more just like them. It's hard to find a picture where you aren't staring at him like he's... I don't even know. Like he holds the answers to all the questions of the universe or something." She speeds through that last sentence, trying for flippant and missing, but hits the edge between bitter and lost.
Kris tries to do something - anything - to fix this, "I don't - I - he isn't - It's not like that, Katy. I - I thought you," He sighs, thoughts not coming to him and his mouth is fairing no better. "I didn't know." He realizes that's the truth. The real, bare, pure truth of the matter. He didn't know.
How could he not know? Not know himself, not know how Katy felt, not know how he looked at Adam. How could he not know any of this? What is this even called? He's never been able to label his and Adam's relationship beyond being best friends. It's been more than that, deeper than that, since the first few weeks in the Idol House. Neither of them really knew how to define it even then, and were completely unconcerned with trying. It just was. Is. It just is.
Except now Kris has to think about it, what it means, what he feels - God, he does not want to think about feelings right now. Granted, Day Off Day is officially ruined beyond all repair, and this makes Kris very, very sad, but he still would rather be getting a Novocain-free root canal instead of trying to identify his feelings about Adam. Or for him, he guesses.
His feelings for Adam. Feelings for Adam? What does that even mean?
Feelings. For Adam. Feelings.
Worst Day Off Day in the world's history of ever.
Kris looks at Katy with more confusion than he's ever felt, and he's bordering on despair. A deep, shuddering breath in that Kris doesn't release as he asks, barely able to get out the words, "What do you want me to do?"
--------------------------------------
IN A LAND FAR, FAR AWAY... (or something like that...)
"You can't tell me there's nothing there, Adam. I see it - the whole world sees it!"
"It isn't like that with us! It might look, I don't know, however it looks, but it's - I'm with you. Okay? If I didn't have stronger feelings for you than for someone else, I wouldn't put us both through the misery of a relationship where neither of us gets what we want." Adam takes Drake's hands in his, eyes pleading for understanding. "You know me. I'm loyal in a relationship. I'm loyal even when it's not - you know that I've never cheated on anyone I've been with. You are my boyfriend. You. I can't apologize for my friendship with Kris; I won't. But I am sorry if I made you feel like you were less important to me. You aren't."
"You love him?" It's a question, but it's got the definitiveness of a statement.
"Of course. You know that, he knows that, everyone knows that. But it isn't like that. It--"
"You love me?" And that's a question.
Adam startles slightly, face falling into the beginnings of a practiced neutrality, hands stilling, even as they keep hold of the other pair.
"Drake--"
"It's a fair question, cher."
"No, it isn't, because the way I love Kris is not the way that I would love you, and you know it. You know how I feel about that word. What it means. You promised you wouldn't try and force--"
"I know, and I'm not. I'm not. It's just," Drake slides his hands out of Adam's grasp and starts pacing again, the hideous hotel carpet still holding the imprints where he stepped so many times in the last half-hour or so. "You say it so easy, Adam. You say it to him, about him, all the time."
"Because it doesn't mean--" Adam sounds a little plaintive, more than a little frustrated with having to repeat himself, and he just wishes this stupid, stupid fight would end so they could get back to actually enjoying his first day off in what feels like a decade.
"Maybe not, babe, but it's still the words you won't say to me, and you're saying them to another man. One that I know for a fact you're attracted to. How is that fair?"
Adam has to concede that point. If he were in Drake's position, he'd feel the same way. He really doesn't want to lose this argument, but if it's going to end it, then he'll take the hit.
"You're right. It's not. Look, honey, I'm sorry, okay? I don't want you to feel like this, I really don't. When you said you wanted to take our friendship to a different level, I never once thought about Kris. I was excited to be able to share all of this that's happening with you, not for any reason other than I like spending time with you. Well, that and you're very, very pretty."
That made Drake smile, and that block of ice in Adam's stomach melts to a third of its size.
"I don't mean to sound like a jealous girlfriend, babe. I'm just... a jealous girlfriend."
That made them both laugh, and the warmth was back, filling Adam with the happiness he'd started with this morning.
"You've got nothing to be jealous about." Adam wraps his arms around Drake from behind, snuggling his head in the crook of his neck, and rocking them back and forth slightly. Cheek to cheek, Adam lets his voice go to that place where it starts to get gravelly and quiet. "You're mine. And you've got me." Turning his head, Adam places a tender kiss on Drake's cheek. "We good, babe?"
Drake nods, intoxicated with Adam. He tilts his head, so Adam's mouth is on his ear again, because, yes, that is so very nice. Oh, and that's even better, the licking.
Adam nuzzles his way under Drake's ear, placing kisses and little licks all over. Down his neck, and he bites, and Drake pushes backwards with his hips in automatic response. Adam growls, twirls Drake around to face him, crushes their bodies together, and attaches his lips to Drake's. Long, slow kisses mixed with rough, demanding bites. Adam uses one hand to keep them as close as possible without actually occupying the same space, and the other to grip Drake's face, fingers in his hair, holding him where Adam is able to bruise that pretty mouth all he wants.
Yeah, this is how Adam wants to spend what Kris dubbed "Day Off Day"- with yummy kisses and being as not-dressed as he can for as long as he can. Yes. This is definitely how Day Off Days should be spent. He hopes Kris is having as much fun as Adam is planning on having. Though, he probably should stop thinking about Kris while making out with his boyfriend, who he just got finished fighting with over his relationship with Kris. That would probably be good.
"You are wearing far too many pairs of pants right now."
"I'm only wearing the one pair, cher."
"Like I said. Too many." Adam shoves Drake backwards onto the bed, where he bounces a few times, flushed. "Off." Adam commands to a more-than-willing-to-comply Drake.
Adam seriously loves Day Off Days.