Fic: The Tie [5/66]
Kris was elated to find himself in Adam’s bed when he opened his eyes. He stretched…whoa, I didn’t know I even had muscles there… he had surprised himself by behaving like a wanton whore last night...you know you enjoyed every second of it. He beamed at Adam. “Good morning, beautiful.” Adam looked calm standing there in the doorway to the bedroom, but Kris knew that something was off immediately, and he was suddenly desperate to see a smile on that striking face. He sat up and held out the piece severed tie, the wide half. “Guess it wasn’t durable enough…um, do you want a refund?” he chuckled. Adam let out a short laugh then instantly clamped his mouth shut, looking angry with himself. What is going on here? Why is he gripping his robe so tight? Why is he even wearing a robe?
“Kris, I need you to leave.” Adam’s voice was toneless, completely devoid of feeling, and it gave him the chills. You knew this would be a possibility, that he wouldn’t want you after the sex, no matter much you hoped it wouldn’t happen like that. But as he continued to look at Adam, he saw a veritable storm of emotions in those blue eyes, pain, longing, fear, confusion -- Kris wanted to kiss it all away. He stood up, unashamed of his nakedness, and walked across the room. He saw the bruise on Adam’s neck. I made that. “I was hoping to stay for a little while,” he said softly, reaching out to brush his hand across that beautifully freckled cheek; Kris could see them now that the makeup was almost worn off. But his fingers only met air as Adam backed away quickly, his calm façade starting to crack.
“No. No…you can’t, this is my…I mean no one has…I…Kris, just…just go.” Kris’ jaw fell open in surprise. He was stunned by the lack of self-assuredness he heard; it was completely unexpected and only made him want to comfort Adam more.
“Adam, what’s wrong? Did I do something? I thought…I thought last night was…” After their mind-numbingly hot battle for sexual dominance, Kris was positive he had felt a connection in the tender and passionate exchange that followed. I know something was there…he must have felt it, too.
“It was unbelievable.” Adam mumbled to the floor. When he looked up, his eyes were shining. “Please, please Kris…I’m…I’m begging you to -- ” Then in a flash, everything shifted and some kind of wall seemed to slam down over his eyes. “Go. This is how things are, Kris. Almost every night of the week, I have my choice of men, pleading with me to fuck them, just like you did last night. It didn’t mean anything, it never does. Go home.”
A horrible ringing noise was building in Kris’ ears as a silent war took place in his mind. Adam was lying to him at least partially, he was certain of it, but the words still cut him deeper than he cared to admit. Just leave. But his desire to stay was so strong, to figure out what was distressing Adam so much, to console him, to learn more about him, to hear him laugh, to bring back those sparks of interest in music -- and he wanted to passionately embrace him and feel the giddy rush of going toe to toe with a man like that again. But you can’t fix this…you don’t even know him, don’t know what you’re getting into. Don’t do this to yourself…it will only bring heartbreak, and you’ve had enough of that to last a lifetime.
“Okay. Okay, Adam. Just let me get dressed, and I’ll go…but I’m taking this with me…to remember --” he couldn’t finish the sentence and merely held up the hand that still clutched half of the tie. Adam nodded once sharply, arms now crossed. Kris walked into the hallway and started gathering up his clothes from the floor. He put them on in the living room and checked his pocket for his necklace. Adam stood at the far end of the room looking like a magnificently chiseled statue, but staring at him with the same tumult of emotions he’d seen a few minutes ago. With a heavy sigh he pulled the necklace out of his pocket and dropped it on a small table near the door. Fiercely squeezing the cloth in his hand, he took one last look at the beautiful, tormented man. “Goodbye, Adam.”
He went outside and tried to get his bearings so he could walk home, but decided to hail a cab instead; it was easier given his emotional state plus he was sore from…Adam. He watched the buildings go by and tried not to feel devastated by Adam’s behavior toward him that morning. It was only one night, one night out of my whole life. I knew the risks and did it anyway. Regardless, he couldn’t ignore the aching rejection in his heart. He started to play with his half of the tie. Why did I take that? It’s only going to serve as a reminder of what I can’t have. But he knew why he’d done it; he wanted to remember that night for the rest of his life, even if he never saw Adam again. He didn’t know how or exactly when it had happened, but sometime in the throes of their lusty dance, Adam had awoken in him feelings of fierce desire, power and strength he never knew he had. For the last year Matt had been telling him to “grow a pair” but Adam had unwittingly helped him do it in a single night. He felt crushed by Adam and excited about his newfound confidence at the same time.
It was 10:30 by the time he got home. Thankfully it was Friday, which meant no work and no class that night. He knew Matt was working at the store today and was grateful that he had at least three hours to himself before being barraged by questions. As if to confirm this, he saw a message from Matt on the fridge, right next to the notes from Adam, that said, “Can’t wait to hear all about it!!” He let out a groan, feeling the beginnings of a headache come on and headed for his bedroom. Unclenching his hand, he put the rumpled, soiled fabric on his bedside table. I’ll take care of that later. His clothes were stiff with his own sweat and cum and smelled like they should be burned instead of washed. Standing naked in the mirror, he examined the marks Adam had left on him and found that he liked seeing them there.
When the hot water finally hit him, he let out a long, low moan that echoed in the shower. As relieved as he was to get clean, he just realized that he was also rinsing away the remnants of Adam’s cum off of his back. Oh my god...that is just… He spread his legs and squatted all the way down to make it easier to reach, to touch himself where Adam’s tongue had been, where Adam’s enormous throbbing cock had pounded into him without pity. He rubbed deliberate circles over his tender hole as pictures from the night before scrolled through his mind. With his other hand he began to stroke his length, slowly at first, enjoying the dual sensations. But then he saw the image of himself, swallowing Adam down and taking every thrust, taking control, and then Adam beginning to come apart with trembling legs; he sped up his hands and shouted as he fell forward onto his knees with the impact of his orgasm.
Ten minutes later he was walking around his bedroom in a pair of plaid pajama bottoms, trying to find an appropriate place for the tie. I’m not going to wash it. After rejecting about ten possibilities, he finally settled on tucking it in a small pocket inside his beat up guitar case.
Kris collapsed on his bed and cast his mind over the last 14 hours. His heart started to beat faster remembering the insane feelings of want, of passion, of possessiveness he had felt for Adam and the level of confidence he had shown even in submission. After fifteen minutes of reliving memories, he stumbled upon an astounding realization. Suddenly he knew why the majority of his relationships had failed and why he’d suffered so many heartbreaks. Huh. So that’s why they all left me in the end. Ever since he’d started dating in high school, Kris had been known for his trusting and giving nature. He was the perfect boyfriend, attentive, sacrificing, always thinking of the other man’s needs before his own. He wasn’t just sexually submissive; he was also emotionally subservient. There had been no give and take, only Kris giving everything he had until his boyfriends had grown tired of his doormat-like ways, trying to get him to assert himself, say what he wanted and needed in the bedroom, in the relationship, in life. Shit. Why didn’t I catch on sooner? I could’ve saved myself so much pain.
Still, one night with Adam didn’t mean he could abruptly change his ways. But being with him would be such great practice. He grinned, thinking about the all the ways he could practice showing Adam what he wanted. But he doesn’t want you. It doesn’t matter how much you relish the idea of challenging a powerful, in control man like him. Adam’s lust-filled face was assaulting Kris’ brain, taunting him. This really sucks.
His phone began to vibrate from the pile of last night’s clothing. He really didn’t want to get up just now. Yeah, because I’m so enjoying torturing myself...ugh…fine. It was a text from Matt: “off early. bringing home chinese 4 lunch u know u love me.” He bit back a laugh, imagining the look on Matt’s face if he told him that he’d been tied up and fucked within an inch of his life last night. Huh, that’s weird. Kris wasn’t sure why, but he had completely trusted Adam last night with his body even after he had pushed him, dared him…bit him…No matter how forceful Adam had been, Kris felt that if he had said stop, Adam would have. Like you would have told him to stop…that was the hottest sex you’ve ever had in your life. He suddenly recalled the look of awe and bewilderment on Adam’s face after they had climaxed. What was that all about?
Chapter 6