Fic: The Tie [12/66]
The dissonant notes hung in the air for a few seconds before fading away.
Kris wiped a dribble of cum off his chin with a finger and sucked on it, looking very pleased with himself.
Adam sat up on the bench and stared speechlessly at the man who had just given him the single most erotic experience of his life. No one had ever been so attentive in pleasing him; no one had ever made him let go like that. He felt a white-hot flame of desire burning throughout his body, a fire so scorching that he thought his bones would melt from it. Never had he wanted anything or anyone as much as he wanted Kris in that moment.
He sprang from the bench and tackled Kris to the floor with his entire body, pawing, kissing, licking and biting every inch of skin he could reach. Kris groaned loudly under him, clutching his back and hair. But it wasn’t enough. Get them off…got to fucking get them off! He was frantic with need, hands trembling so hard that he couldn’t even handle the simplicity of Kris’ shirt.
Kris came to the rescue and pulled his shirt over his head, only getting it half way off before Adam attacked him again. In between bites and kisses, Kris pushed down his pajama pants and kicked them off.
Adam sat back for a moment, shaking. Insane, this is fucking insane…I’m completely out of control here. But he couldn’t help it. He was rock hard again, on fire, and the only one that could quench the flames was Kris.
“Are…you…okay?” Kris panted.
“I need you,” was all he could manage before falling on Kris again, kissing his face, his neck, his nipples, his knees…everywhere except his cock, which he stroked instead. Soon, I’ll get there soon. Kris didn’t seem to mind at all; he was completely falling apart under Adam, voice growing hoarse with moans and cries, body writhing on the floor as if he were in pain.
“I need you, Kris…now,” Adam pleaded urgently.
“Fuck, Adam! Take me already before I die here!” Kris shouted.
In his desperation, Adam almost forgot to use a condom. He was all lined up and ready to go when he remembered. “Shit!” He scrambled for his pants. “I can’t…help me Kris!”
Kris quickly pulled out a condom and the lube, tore open the packet and prepped Adam. Then, as if he could sense what Adam needed, he lay back on the floor and bent his knees, pulled them up to his chest and spread his legs as wide as he could.
Adam clambered on top of Kris and drove into him, his hips thrusting wildly. He put his hands on Kris’ knees and pushed them back until his toes touched the floor above his head.
He pounded Kris into the floor, driven crazy with lust like a feral animal, unable to speak or make any sounds other than his painfully labored breathing. He clenched Kris’ cock and pumped it furiously. It only took a few strokes before Kris’ entire body tensed and he came hard all over his stomach, crying out Adam’s name.
Adam’s body was dripping with sweat as he thrust once more, bit down on his tongue and emptied himself with a strangled sob, his eyes glassy with tears. He collapsed on top of Kris, shaking and heaving for breath. A single tear fell onto Kris’ shoulder.
“Adam…” Kris lifted a hand and wiped another tear from Adam’s cheek.
Adam couldn’t speak. He just lay there shivering on top of Kris, arms and legs spread eagle. He felt dizzy and scared at the intensity of what had just occurred.
“Adam…” Kris repeated with concern. He tried to move but Adam’s dead weight was pinning him to the floor. Flexing his arm muscles, he pushed Adam’s shoulders straight up and rolled him onto his side. Then Kris wrapped his arms tightly around him and started stroking his hair reassuringly.
What the fuck was that! Adam suddenly felt like bolting up from the floor and running as fast as he could back to his apartment, his sanctuary. At the same time, he found that he was enjoying the sticky warmth of Kris’ body pressed against his back and was comforted by Kris’ hand in his hair. The two feelings battled within him until the urge to run gradually abated. His eyes became drowsy and without thinking about it, he snuggled back into Kris. He feels so nice.
“We can’t stay here,” Kris said softly, “Matt is going to be home soon.”
But Adam didn’t want to move now that he was so comfortable and tired. “Don’t care,” he grumbled.
“Come on, cutie.” Kris got up and tried to pull Adam up with him.
“M’kay.” Adam said, rising to his feet and smacking his lips sleepily.
Kris took his hand and Adam followed him to his bedroom, dragging his feet as exhaustion set in. The last thing he remembered before he fell asleep in the small bed was the feel of Kris’ lips on his forehead.
Before Adam even opened his eyes, he knew that he was not in his own bed. Don’t panic…you’re in Kris’ bed…but don’t panic…it’s going to be okay…don’t panic. He felt his heart speed up despite his efforts to calm down. Wait a minute…where is he? Adam suddenly realized that he was alone in the bed. He opened his eyes and sat up, looked around, and saw by the clock on the wall that it was 10pm. The bedroom door was closed and the room was warm and silent.
Then the sound of soft, steady breathing reached his ears. He looked over the side of the bed and saw Kris curled up in a nest of blankets on the floor. At the sight of him lying there, Adam felt a lump form in his throat. God, you are such a baby these days…so weak. But something painful was taking place in Adam’s heart.
Everything Kris was doing made Adam want to trust him, but the thought of letting him in was absolutely terrifying. Even though he didn’t think that Kris would hurt him on purpose, the broken record still played in his head… trusting makes you weak, vulnerable…trust equals pain, weakness equals pain… For years these words had been his mantra and he thought they had served him well, but he looked at Kris again and thought that maybe he’d been missing out.
Trust. A few hours ago he’d completely put himself at Kris’ mercy and then lost control altogether in the frighteningly intense and hedonistic sex that followed. What the fuck was that? He remembered crying near the end of it; the whole thing still felt like a mystery to him. And then he cuddled me. And I liked it. And now I’m in his bed. He groaned out loud and put his head in his hands.
“Adam?” a groggy voice said from the floor.
Reach out to him…you can do it…this is what normal people do.
Before he could change his mind, Adam leaned over and grasped Kris’ hand, then pulled him onto the bed. They shifted around in the small space until Kris was snuggled into Adam’s arms. This is good. This is…better. He felt more manly and strong holding Kris.
“Kris?”
“Hmmm?”
“Thank you for…” For giving me the best blowjob in the history of sex. For letting me fuck you like an animal. For holding me. For sleeping on the floor. For being patient and understanding… “for being you.” Oh my god, Lambert, that was the lamest, cheesiest, most Hollywood movie thing to say. His only excuse was that he had no experience in this area.
Kris just smiled and kissed Adam on the cheek.
“Kris?”
“Hmmm?”
“I…I can’t stay here tonight.” Why is this so fucking hard?
“I know, Adam. It’s okay…really…but thank you for this.” He burrowed himself deeper into Adam’s embrace and sighed contentedly.
I like this. Maybe tomorrow we can…oh no!… Adam had just remembered what day it was.
“Kris?”
“Hmmm?”
“I have to work tomorrow night.” He felt Kris stiffen in his arms. Shit. How is this going to work? Adam had been fucking random strangers for years and he wasn’t sure he knew how to stop. You have to…you can’t mess this up. “I’m not going to…I won’t…”
Kris sat up and turned to look at Adam, clearly worried. “Can you promise me that?”
“I……” Shit!
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you that,” Kris said sadly, “I know it wasn’t fair. I…I just hoped that I was, well, more than just a good fuck.”
“You are, Kris…you’re a superb fuck,” he teased, “but you’re also more than that. Look, it’s obvious that I don’t know what the hell I’m doing here. All I know is that I want to be with you…that I want to, you know, make this work somehow.” There. I said it.
Kris smiled brightly. “You do?”
“Yes.”
Kris' bright smile became like the sun. I put that smile there! In fact, Adam felt like he never wanted to do anything to make it disappear ever again. “I know! How about you come to the club tomorrow to watch my set? Then I can have my way with you after I’m done singing,” he smirked.
Kris’ breath hitched and then he threw his arms around Adam and kissed him fiercely.
“You know,” Adam said, drawing back and grinning wickedly, “I don’t have to hurry off just yet…how about I have my way with you right now?”
Kris looked at him with those deep brown eyes and licked his lips.
Two hours later Adam was back at his apartment, feeling spent but happy. Happy? Yeah…I’m happy. He grinned and headed to the bathroom. Guess I can’t call these ‘no-sex’ pants anymore. The thought occurred to him that he might need to go shopping for more pairs of regular pants, since most of the ones he owned had been custom made. As he showered, he thought about how much his life was about to change and it scared him more than he wanted to admit.
The next day Adam woke up to his stomach rumbling loudly. It was 10am on Friday morning. He got out of bed and went into his small kitchen, but was annoyed to find that he had run out of wheat bread. I’ve got to do some shopping. Adam’s regular routine had been seriously disrupted this week and he had completely neglected things like shopping, laundry and keeping his apartment halfway decent. Plus, he couldn’t even remember the last time he was in the studio. It was disconcerting; routines helped him feel in control of his life. He vowed to catch up on everything today and to spend some time recording.
After stocking up at Whole Foods and throwing a load of clothes in the washer in his bathroom, Adam finally sat down in his studio. All of the songs he was working on reflected the personality that he showed the outside world. Adam frequently used singing as therapy when he was struggling, but he never recorded any of that.
As 5pm drew nearer, Adam felt satisfied that he had accomplished everything he’d planned for today, and he allowed himself to relax a bit before starting on his regular pre-work routine. He walked into his bedroom and got on his hands and knees to reach under the bed. After a minute of groping around, his hand finally landed on a small wooden box. It had belonged to his grandfather, who had died before Adam was born. His mother had given it to him after he had finally been released from the hospital all those years ago; she told him to put happy memories in it. At the time, Adam had been certain that the box would be empty for the rest of his life. Of course, he had also planned not to be around long enough to put anything in it anyway.
Adam sat down on his bed and traced the intricate patterns worked into the wood with his thumbs. Even though he had met Kris only three and a half weeks ago, he knew in his heart that the two things in that box belonged in it.
He lifted the lid slowly and caressed the silky cloth inside. After the numerous times he had masturbated with it, he had decided to wash the tie before putting it in the box. Kris’ necklace with the small note pendant lay coiled up beside it. He looped a finger through the cord and pulled it out. Holding it up in the air before him, Adam silently thanked the universe for the existence of Macy’s.
Damn it, I should have left myself more time! A pair of regular pants and a pair of sex pants lay side by side on Adam’s bed; he had been trying to decide which to wear for about fifteen minutes. He was behind schedule and thoroughly irritated about it. Even though he knew he was going to be with Kris after the show, he didn’t want to ruin his image by appearing different in any way. In the end, he put on the sex pants and decided he would teach Kris how to get into them tonight. Tonight…Adam was undecided about where to take Kris after his set was over: the sex room or his apartment? He gritted his teeth in frustration, weighing the options. The sex room was only about sex and Kris was more to him than that. But his apartment… To Adam, letting Kris back into his bed on purpose was almost the equivalent of letting him in emotionally. When he went downstairs at 7pm, he still didn’t know what to do.
Adam was rattled. He was sitting at the bar, munching on a small dinner and looking around the room. As usual, no one tried to talk to him; the aura of mystery and inapproachability was one he had worked hard to achieve and it was very effective. There was 30 minutes until he had to be on stage and without indulging in his normal habit of evaluating potential targets, he didn’t know what to do with himself. Even though he knew it was irrational, he felt exposed somehow. To make things worse, he was still agonizing over where to take Kris later. That is, if Kris showed up at all.
Only fifteen minutes to go…where is he? For such a seemingly self-confident man, Adam was really quite insecure and he could not fathom why Kris wanted him. You’re just a damaged fucking whore, Lambert…any man in their right mind would run screaming from a relationship with you. Despite Kris’ obvious dedication, Adam couldn’t help but feel that it was too good to be true.
Ten minutes. He’s not coming…he’s finally realized what a freak you are and changed his mind. Five minutes. But I was going to let him take off my sex pants… Adam heard his name being announced and made his way to the stage trying not to let his pout show. The crowd cheered madly and all the short, brown-haired, brown-eyed men tried to look their sexiest.
He took his place center stage and checked the audience again for Kris. Disappointment and sadness coursed through him when he saw no sign of that beautiful face. See, I told you so. Pull yourself together…you’ve got a show to do. After a few deep breaths he began his first number, a catchy tune that clashed with his mood. He made a small bow when it was over and when he raised his head…Kris! There he was, pushing his way through the bodies, trying to get closer to the stage.
Adam was so elated that he couldn’t contain a beaming smile directed at Kris. The other men looked curiously at the man shoving them out of his way.
After Kris’ arrival, it was all Adam could do not to jump off the stage and to hell with singing tonight. He couldn’t wait to feel his body, to hear his voice, to see his smile. And he’s here…he really wants to be with me after all.
By the time the show was over, Kris had only managed to get half way to the stage. It seemed that a group of men were stubbornly refusing to let him pass, as if they knew that he was a threat to their chances. Adam didn’t care. He bowed quickly and made a direct path to Kris. The men parted before him like some scene from a movie.
“Come on,” Adam said when he reached his goal.
Kris smiled deviously at him and then whispered in his ear, “let’s go to the back room. I want them to see us go in there together and I want them to hear us fuck…loudly.”
Adam stared at him. Little rabbit my ass! This is going to be one hot mother fucking night.
Chapter 13