Time That We Won
Adam could feel it on his skin; the prickling heat whenever they were close to one another. He'd always been able to feel it - when someone wanted him he knew it. It was a rush; it was why being on stage felt so damn good. It had never felt like this though.
When Adam was wanted, he gave freely. Maybe not in the way that people expected but he always gave them at least part of himself. With Kris Allen, though, it was never clear how much was enough. It had been validation at first - Adam knew that. Kris was the type that was drawn to the Alpha; the brooding artist that searched for a muse and never recognized his own genius. It grew into more, thankfully, because Adam was never comfortable being anyone's muse for very long. If felt wrong somehow - he was just Adam, after all. No matter how often people heaped admiration on him; he was still just Adam - that pudgy, freckle-faced kid hiding behind all those layers of foundation and bottle-black hair dye. Be that as it may, he and Kris had become fast friends, and somewhere along the line, they had become more.
Adam had never had a lover like this - a lover he couldn't touch. It was stupid to think of Kris as his lover, but really, that's what he was. Kris was his boy as much as Brad had been. The main difference was that there were times; wonderful, terrifying moments, where Kris looked at him with the same desperate possessiveness that he felt for Kris. It messed with his head. Adam was used to holding the reins, but it was liberating and a little scary to know that someone could make him yield sometimes. For all intents and purposes, they were in a relationship already; except for the part that they had never even kissed. Not while on Idol, not on the tour bus, and not in any of the hotel rooms that Kris would sneak into after everyone else had gone to bed.
"People are gonna talk." Adam had warned after Kris had texted to open the door for the first time.
"They're already talking." Kris had said, shrugging his shoulders and stepping inside. They'd watch TV, or talk in the dark like old times, and Kris would slip beneath the covers and sleep next to him, sometimes holding his hand in the middle of the night. Adam gave him whatever he wanted, too afraid to ask for anything in return. He would close his eyes and listen to Kris's deep breathing, glad he could be with Kris like this. They were in love, he knew it. He could feel the impossible tug of their bodies that brought Kris to his door and into his bed. He could feel their smiles intertwine from across the room. He could feel it in the way Kris's eyes would flick up to his just before he'd say the words "love you, man" all mumbly and embarrassed when they'd have to part for a day. The look meant more than the words, belittled as they were by the "man" tacked needlessly on to the end. But the familiar noun couldn’t cover the enormity of the feelings, no matter how Kris tried to make his words seem casual.
Yet as the dates of the tour slipped through his fingers, Adam could feel the want from Kris growing more desperate and tangible. It was terrifying to try and resist it. They had shared a bed in New York again and Kris had rolled over in his sleep, pressing hard into Adam's back; hot breath in his ear. Adam's pulse had been loud enough to drown out the noise from Times Square as Kris kissed the back of his neck once, lightly. He froze, telling himself that Kris must be dreaming; that he must just be missing Katy. But then Kris had started to groan telling words, like "Adam" and "finger" and "more" and it had been all Adam could take. He had rolled over, and watched a moment as Kris writhed a bit in his sleep, worrying his lower lip between his teeth. Adam had fought the urge to end that particular torture with his own lips and settled for brushing Kris’s nose with his own. Kris’s skin had been gorgeous in the low light and Adam’s breath caught in his throat as he imagined how easy it would be to tilt his head and claim Kris mouth. Though still dreaming, Kris had responded to Adam’s proximity, groaning a bit and licking his lips. A hot surge of desire ran through Adam’s veins as Kris’s tongue brushed against the bottom of his lip; a happy side effect of their closeness. Adam’s hands moved of their own accord, ignoring the warning bells that were ringing in his mind and instead listening to the language of Kris’s sleeping body which was presently shouting him its assent. Adam had swallowed hard and slid his hand lower, palming Kris through his ridiculous-for-august plaid flannel pants. Kris gasped and arched into Adam’s hand just once before his eyes flew open, horrified.
Adam had felt sick, the pad Thai thrashing in his stomach as he pulled his hand away from Kris like he had been burned. Kris didn't say anything, didn't even move. His eyes were black stones in the dark, and Adam rolled onto his back, folding his hands behind his head.
"I thought you wanted..." He started.
"I do." Kris had admitted softly. "But I can't.
“You can’t.” Adam had repeated the word, hating the sound of his voice as it grew dark and cynical.
“I can’t.” Kris said again. “And don’t pretend you don’t understand why.” In truth, Adam could think of a million reasons why Kris couldn’t, but right now none of them seemed valid. Yeah he was married, but he was also only an inch away from Adam’s face; body ready and hungry to express how he felt in a way words fell short of. It seemed cosmically unfair; proof that if there was a God he was a sadistic bastard that wasn’t worthy of worship.
“Then why…be here. With me. Like this.” Adam couldn’t help himself. He had rolled back on his side and touched Kris’s face with his hand. Kris’s eyes closed at the touch, breath short and features inscrutable.
“I can’t stay away. Not on my own. If you want me to leave, I will.”
Adam considered sending him away, but didn’t have the heart. Instead he pulled Kris close.
“Don’t be silly.” Adam ran his hands through Kris hair as he sunk his face into Adam’s chest. Their bodies pressed together, and Adam felt Kris shudder; the thin fabric of their pajamas not doing very much to conceal their mutual attraction.
“Are there rules to this game? This is probably against the rules.” Kris had mumbled, hips twitching ever so slightly. Adam bit his lip, trying to fight his response.
"I didn’t know we were playing a game." Adam whispered. “I don’t think this is something that can be won or lost.”
"I could lose everything…everything.” Kris hissed, rocking against Adam a little harder now. Adam clenched his jaw as Kris tentatively ground against him. Maybe Kris was right. This was so absurd it had to be a game. Here he was, Adam Lambert, media darling and rock star, masturbation fodder for the masses, having to refrain from touching the straight boy who was humping him like a pillow. He couldn’t even bring himself to stop Kris. “Pathetic, pathetic” he scolded himself, but let Kris continue to dry-fuck him through his pants.
“It’s ok, Kris. I’m here for you. Whatever you need me to be.” Kris gasped. Adam felt Kris’s mouth open against his chest, lips brushing through the cotton t shirt.
“We shouldn’t be doing this.” Kris protested, but he didn’t stop moving against Adam. In fact his pace had increased, and he repositioned himself so that his cock slid hard against Adam’s own erection. The feeling was overwhelming.
“I’m not doing anything. It’s ok, this is all you. Just take it, Kris. Just this once. You’ll feel better.”
“Yeah.” Kris nodded softly, breath shallow and frantic.
“There you go. It’s just like you’re in your own room. I won’t touch you. You just need to come.” Adam pitched his voice low, angling his head to whisper in Kris’s ear.
Yeah.” Kris moved his hand lower down his stomach, rubbing Adam’s chest with the back of his knuckles. He wrapped it around his own dick, jerking it right through his flannels. Adam’s breath hitched, feeling every stroke as the back of Kris’s hand came in contact with his cock. “Yeah, I just need a little…yeah.” Kris mumbled low, mouth still buried against Adam’s shirt.
“Mmmhhmmm.” Adam hummed soothingly as he stroked Kris’s hair, running his fingers along the curve of his neck.
“ I want you to touch me.” Kris begged, and Adam was sorely tempted, but there was too much pain in Kris’s voice. When, if, he ever got to have Kris - really and truly have him - he didn’t want it like this.
“You know I can’t.” Adam said, letting his voice go a little cold. “It’s against the rules. You’ve gotta do it all on your own, baby.” Kris whined in protest but continued tugging on his cock. “That’s it. Come on, Kris. Come on. .” Adam had kept gently encouraging him, daring to kiss him softly on the ear a few times, until Kris pulled his hand away and bucked hard against Adam, groaning his release. Adam felt him come, hot and hard, shuddering again and again as he panted Adam over and over. Then he stilled, lying for a long moment against Adam, his breath barely audible.
Adam moved to touch him, to run a calming hand down his side, but Kris sat up abruptly.
“Kris?” Adam hadn’t liked the look on his face. He looked wrecked, shoulders shaking a little like he was on the verge of collapse.
“You win, I guess.” Kris ran a hand through his sweat-damp hair, his voice syrupy thick. Adam fought the urge to take him in his arms; to do something to tell him it was alright, that he hadn’t done anything wrong. But Adam knew this was something Kris needed to feel, something he had been bound to feel.
"I'm not trying to win anything, Kris. I want whatever you want." Adam had said after a moment.
"That's the problem." Kris replied cryptically, but Adam hadn’t responded. He hadn’t even known how. Kris had left the room, not even saying goodnight.
Things were different after that. Adam tried to act a little more cold, hoping that the distance would ease the tension, but it didn't work. Soon, things were so frozen that they burned anyway, like frostbite. Instead of the warm, hot cocoa feeling between them whenever Kris came near it was a painful, itchy burn. It was a fever. Fitting that as August waned and September reared its dreaded head that they both were struck with an actual fever. Kris hadn't come into his hotel room in weeks, but after he got sick he resumed his habit, padding into Adam's room late at night with a mug full of tea and a pitiful expression.
"Miss you." He whispered, looking like a toddler. Adam couldn't resist giving into him again, regardless of what had happened in New York. He tucked Kris in and kissed his burning forehead before sliding into bed next to him. Kris rolled tightly against him and tossed his hand over Adam's chest, taking Adam's hand on the opposite side of his body.
It was like sleeping with his own personal dragon; Kris was puffing hot air onto his neck and snoring loudly through his plugged nose. When Adam woke up the next day, his throat scratched and his head was heavy but he felt better than he had in weeks. The slow, comfortable simmer was back.
As soon as Kris began to feel better, the simmer began to bubble more frequently and Adam knew it was only a matter of time before the boiling crested over like milk, frothy and uncontrollable. By the time the tour rolled through Pennsylvania again, Adam had decided that he and Kris were a foregone conclusion. It was inevitable that someone was going to break and Adam was determined that he not be the one to fold. Kris, for his part, looked at Adam with a sort of sad desperation; clearly hoping that Adam would take the decision out of his hands. The tour was running out like sand in an hour glass and Adam ticked off each grain falling like it was a personal victory.
His victorious feelings faded as the final date drew ever closer and were replaced with something acrid in his stomach. Every day he and Kris would sit close, like they always did; and each day one of them would push the envelope a little further, hands lingering when they happened to touch; eyes perpetually locked as they exchanged secret smiles and glances. Remember New York. Remember what happened in New York. Adam repeated to himself, like a mantra. But it didn’t avail him of the sour want that was now practically sweating out his pores. Something had changed between them; Kris was ready in a way he hadn’t been a month ago.
Late one night, post-concert, Kris had waited until everyone else had fallen asleep before tugging Adam back to the lounge to watch a movie. Neither of them could sleep anyway, Kris had told him, and for some reason Adam had listened, swinging his legs out over his bunk and hopping down to allow Kris to half drag him down the small hallway. Adam pretended not to notice him locking the thin door behind them and let Kris settle him on the sofa. Kris then went to the refrigerator to pull out two bottled cream sodas and a bag of Adam's favorite dried fruit mix. He laid the bounty on the table and flopped on the couch, looking to Adam as though he had moved the first pawn and expected an enemy knight to come and claim his piece. When Adam didn’t move, Kris reconsidered his position and shimmied closer, pretending that he couldn't reach the remote without the movement.
“Cold?” Kris asked, which would have seemed absurd a week ago, but fall had come early and it was chilly. Adam nodded and Kris reached behind him to pull out a ratty quilt that had been perched on the corner of the sofa since tour began.
Here we go. Adam thought to himself as Kris tucked them in, letting his hands linger a little too long to be accidental. Kris looked an odd combination of mischievous and nervous; his eyes smiling but his lower lip caught in his teeth as he glanced up at Adam.
“Been planning this long?” Adam said to break the moment, and Kris chuckled a little and impulsively pressed a kiss to Adam’s cheek as he pressed play on the remote.
“Only a few days. Time’s running short and one of us had to.” Kris’s voice shook a little
“It has to be you, Kristopher. You know that. You’re the one with the rules.” Adam said, squeezing his leg beneath the blanket. “You’ve got to be the one to break them.”
“I changed the rules.” Kris admitted. “I talked to her. I told her that I needed- that we’re …Adam, she already knew. She was just waiting for me to tell her.” Kris looked up at him as if screwing up his courage, but the moment was broken as the opening music started to play. Adam recognized the song and turned his head towards the screen to confirm Kris’s movie choice.
"You've got to be kidding me, Kris." Adam said.
"What? It's a good movie and I thought you'd like-"
"You don't think that's a little like asking Anoop if he likes 'Slum Dog Millionaire?" Adam couldn't pretend to be annoyed, though, as Kris's expression melted from hopeful to distraught.
"I like it. Katy made me go see it in the theatre and ... I just wanted to watch it with you." Kris said sadly, and Adam tucked an arm around him, pulling him closer.
"I love this movie." Adam conceded. "I just found the choice ironic considering it's about gay men in sham marriages intended to cover up their affair-"
"My marriage isn't a sham." Kris pulled away sharply, moving to stop the DVD. "You know what, this movie is a bad idea, you were right-“ Adam caught his wrist held it still a moment before softly tugging him closer. Kris resisted at first but then let himself get drawn in a few inches.
"That's not what I meant. You know that. I just meant that this movie doesn't end well for anyone, so if there's some kind of hidden metaphor here-" Adam gestured between the two of them. "-I'd be curious to know what it is before I watch something I know is going to make me sob , since I don’t think the point of this-“ Adam waved his hand around the room to indicate the entire situation “was to make me cry." The title track looped again as neither of them had pressed the play button. The song enough was enough to make Adam tear up, considering.
"I know it didn't end well - that's cause they ran from it. I guess that's what I - that's why I wanted to watch it." Kris admitted. "Give me some courage, I guess. You never know what's going to happen so you shouldn't waste time-"
"Fuck Kris, come here." Adam pulled him closer, and Kris let himself get drawn in this time. "We've never talked about this. Not really. Not enough."
"Not much to talk about that you don't already know. You know how I feel. You know what I want. I don't need to say it." Kris was looking down, and Adam heard the movie begin of its own accord.
"I think I need to hear it, though." Adam ran his hand along the underside of Kris's jaw, smiling when Kris tilted his head up and looked at him. His eyes were bright and unafraid, if a little anxious.
"I feel..." Kris's eyes flicked to the screen, as if hoping to draw inspiration. "I- love you, and I don't want to spend my life trying to hide it. Not from anyone, but especially not from you. Not anymore."
Just like that the tension was broken; the tightly coiled heat in Adam's belly unwound itself and stretched out like a cat in the sun.
"And I want..." Kris continued, a smile edging out the side of his mouth. He moved Adam's free hand to his side, picking it up slowly and placing it delicately just beneath his ribs so that Adam was turned towards him. "What most people want when they are in love. What most people want whenever they look at you, I guess." He shrugged his shoulders and leaned back against Adam's hands, lowering himself flat on the sofa. Adam let out a long breath he didn't know he'd been holding, looking down at Kris laid out before him like an offering.
Adam smiled and laid on top of Kris, arms folded across Kris's chest and chin perched atop his hands.
"This isn't how I thought this would go. I thought one of us would just break."
"This is me breaking." Kris replied, a bit sadly, pushing a bit of Adam's hair behind his ear. Adam considered him; Kris looked calm; at peace with the consequences of his decision. He seemed to be looking to Adam for cues on what would come next. Of course, it would be that way. Kris would tear himself open and wait for Adam to come inside.
"This is me breaking." Adam said, and pushed forward with his toes so that his mouth met with Kris's. If their confession seemed anti-climactic the kiss was anything but.
Kris sighed into Adam's open mouth as if he had been worried this moment wasn't going to come. His sigh was audible, a happy-sounding testament to his relief that it had, at last. Adam drank in the sound, kissing it away with possessive noises of his own. At last. Kris kissed him without hesitation, committing fully, and Adam wondered how he could have thought it would be anything other than this. Kris never acted impulsively. He was not a man led astray by his emotions - led by them, yes, but never at cross purposes with his mind. While Adam had been fighting his feelings, Kris had been quietly resolving his and was now at ease where Adam was still trembling with the enormity of the line they had just crossed. He pulled up from Kris's mouth, taking a moment to look in his eyes.
"For real?" Adam asked, unable to keep the smile from his face.
"Fo' reeel" Kris chuckled back, clearly amused. "But dude, you've gotta get up. You're totally crushing my balls."
"Romantic." Adam said, rolling his eyes and pushing back up into a sitting position. Kris followed him up and straddled him, taking Adam's head in his hands and pressing their lips together in one fluid motion.
"Better." Adam breathed as their lips parted briefly, only to reunite as if they had spent weeks apart. "But I'm going to pause this movie, ‘cause I do want to watch it but I think you’ve got other plans first." Kris latched back onto his mouth, holding him tight as Adam leaned forward and fumbled for the remote with one hand.
"This should be harder than it is." Kris sighed as Adam straightened back against the sofa after pausing the DVD. "You make things easier for me. You always have."
"It'll get harder. We're just warming up." Adam grinned sardonically at Kris, who seemed to be considering his double entendre.
"Don't hurt yourself." Adam laughed at Kris’s confused expression, running his hand through Kris's hair. Kris repaid him with a playful slug on the shoulder.
"I was trying to be serious and you had to make it all dirty. I had it all planned out, all day. We'd watch the movie and you'd get all sappy like you do and then we'd talk about things and then -"
"I'm making it dirty? You're the one who’s straddling me." Adam pointed out, lightly thrusting upwards to demonstrate his argument. Kris gasped as Adam brushed against him, hard through his yoga pants, and brought their mouths together hard.
"I guess I did get kind of off-message there." Kris mumbled between kisses. Adam raked his lips against Kris's stubble, trying to feel each individual prick against his skin in case this was the only time he'd ever get to feel it.
"Your PR people must be putting in overtime. Their lingo is starting to stick." Adam was unable to keep his hands from running over Kris's chest, fingers delirious with liberty as he laughed lightly into Kris's ear. Kris only groaned in reply, which made Adam laugh a little louder.
"Shoulda paid less attention to them and more to you. Then maybe this wouldn't have taken so long." Kris's fingers fumbled at Adam's shirt, hesitating at the hem as if asking permission. Adam kissed him softly and busied his own hands at the buttons of Kris's plaid-of-the-day, showing Kris by example that it was okay. He and Kris had seen each other without much on before, but there was something intimate and necessary about undressing a new lover. It was an act of ownership; of intent, and Adam almost ritualistically slid Kris's shirt of his shoulders to expose his pale chest in the steady blue light of the tv.
Adam leaned forward, allowing Kris to lift his T shirt up and over his head. He'd been working out some, but was still a bit self conscious without at least something covering him up. A quick check to Kris's expression told him that he needn’t worry. Kris lowered his head to Adam's neck and, without preamble, bit the soft freckled curve between neck and shoulder. Adam let out a surprised gasp, tilting his head further to allow Kris's mouth to meander up to his ear.
"Did you know that every time you take your jacket off, you throw your head back." Kris whispered, tilting Adam's chin up with his left hand. "Just like that. And every fricking time I stand offstage and lose my mind wanting to do just that." Kris ran his other hand to the place that was still sore from his teeth. Adam let himself wander in the moment, drinking in the sound of Kris's low voice murmuring in his ear and the feel of his full lips brushing insistent with every consonant. It was hypnotic and his hands were charmed towards Kris's jeans. Adam made fast work of the closure and slid his hands beneath and inside them, wrapping his fingers around Kris's ass and squeezing. He pressed each finger down slowly, working the soft flesh in his hands. It felt deliciously wicked, being able to run his hands all over Kris, to make him sigh and shudder just like he had in New York. Adam slid his hands lower, delicately stroking the soft, pliant skin on his inner thighs, thumbs brushing over and over, inching closer to their goal. Kris clenched his muscles momentarily before relaxing into the caress, unused to being touched intimately so near his entrance.
Adam pulled upwards, rocking Kris's hips forward and pushing his jeans down to his knees. He lingered in that position, hands on the back of Kris's thighs and face pressed against Kris's cock, hard in his cotton briefs. He exhaled, pushing hot air through the fabric before wrapping his lips around Kris's length.
Kris arched his back and dug his fingers into Adam's shoulders, leaning against Adam's hands as he worked the briefs down with his nose and teeth, panting hot breath against Kris's skin. Adam tasted salt first; mouthwateringly sweet as he parted his lips and slid them over Kris's head. He felt Kris's hands tighten in his hair and took that for encouragement, flicking his tongue lightly against the opening just to feel Kris shudder. Adam hummed softly, buzzing tuneless into Kris's skin and worked his way lower, relishing every inch of the cock he'd fantasized about for so many months. It was perfect, of course, like the rest of him. Just thick enough to fit in his mouth with room to play, and just long enough for him to swallow down without discomfort. Adam sighed contentedly as his lips met Kris's body, and sat for a motionless moment; just long enough to feel Kris's dick twitch in his mouth. He looked slowly up Kris’ chest, taking a long moment to study Kris's open mouth, before at last meeting his eyes.
Adam preferred to control a blow job, certainly, but there was a desperation in Kris's eyes that he couldn't ignore. He tilted his head forward and opened his mouth a little wider, pressing against Kris's ass a little to let him know it was okay. It took a few more pulses for Kris to find a rhythm, but Adam let his mouth go slack, enjoying the view as Kris fucked his mouth. Kris had one hand planted on the back of the sofa and one holding the side of Adam's head, thumb rubbing beneath his lip as his dick slid in and out with abandon.
“Fuck, Adam.” Kris swore, the word sounding heavy in the dead air. Adam rewarded him with a flick of his tongue , loving the sound of the profanity in his accent. Kris was close, Adam could practically taste it. He could feel it in the twitching of Kris’s muscles beneath his hands; see it on his sweat drenched skin. All Adam had to do was take over and draw it out of him, but it was far too soon. Instead, Adam tightened his grip on Kris’s ass and pulled down sharply, forcing Kris out of his mouth. Kris groaned but Adam silenced him by sticking two fingers into Kris’s open mouth.
Adam had always loved to watch Kris’s tongue playing across his lips as he let the music carry him away. It had been heaven, moments ago, to discover what it felt like against his own, but Adam was transported by the feeling of Kris’s tongue against his fingertips as he sucked eagerly. He slid his other hand beneath the waistband of his pants and fisted his own cock, wet with arousal. Kris looked down and his eyes widened eagerly as though he had made a discovery. Kris pulled back a little with his mouth before thrusting Adam’s fingers even deeper, flicking his tongue across Adam’s fingers as Adam had done to his cock. His sudden realization made Adam fight back a smile, but Kris looked so hot he couldn’t help but jerk himself off a little as Kris sucked. Kris saw this too, and moved to fist his own cock, matching Adam stroke for stroke like a fucking string section. It was too much of a visual for Adam, not if he wanted to show Kris everything. It felt like a shame to rush through, but they had waited long enough - and the bus ride wasn’t that long. It was only a matter of time before someone got up and wanted to use the lounge for something other than fucking. Adam pulled his hand free of Kris’s mouth and pushed Kris’s hand off his dick, over protests. He shifted so that he was laying flat on his back, letting Kris scoot up within arm’s reach.
“C’mere.” Adam curled his wet fingers in an inviting gesture. “Just a little closer.” Adam knew they needed lube to do this properly, but he couldn’t resist playing a little; just to see how Kris reacted.
“Are you gonna…yeah.” Kris said, closing his eyes as Adam pressed his fingers against Kris’s hole. Adam was surprised when Kris relaxed against him, pressing down eagerly for penetration.
“Sure you’ve only been planning this a few days, baby?” Adam purred as he slid his fingers easily into Kris, watching with delight as Kris’s eyes slid closed in satisfaction.
“No, this part I’ve been planning a bit longer. Like ever since we shared a room.”
“Oh yeah?” Adam asked, surprised. “Care to elaborate?” He thrust his fingers a little deeper, angling them just right to rub against Kris’s spot and watching as Kris gasped when he hit it just right.
“Yeah. Adam. You know I knew, yeah. I knew but when I saw those pictures. He looks like me, and I thought -“ Kris’s words were escaping from him in ragged gasps as Adam scissored his fingers and stretched Kris a little wider to accommodate a third finger.
“Good.” Adam breathed as he slid it in. “Keep talking.”
“-I thought maybe you’d notice. That you’d like me. I used to think about it, what it would be like.”
“You just thought about it? I don’t believe that, Kris. It seems to me like you took some action. ” Adam desperately wanted some attention, but this was fucking worth it. The entire tour bus could walk in and he wouldn’t give a shit.
“I - in the shower. Oh, Adam. Deeper. I’d think about you and I’d - I’d imagine your hand on the back of my neck.” Kris ran his hand along the back of his neck, lost in the memory. “I’d kneel down and lean forward and I’d pretend it was you behind me. I got some lube and I tried it” Kris gasped, recollecting. “I’d push my fingers in, I’d pretend that you’d stretch me open. I’d pretend that you wanted to see how much I could take.”
“I do want that, Kris. So fucking bad. ” Adam groaned, looking around the room in desperation. He had lube in his bag, but there was no fucking way he was leaving the room. They were chasing dawn and it was too great a risk of waking someone up. “And if I could get to my bag, I’d find out right now. But I want it to feel good for you. I don’t want to hurt you, baby.” Kris smiled a little, but the look disappeared off his face as Adam twisted his fingers again. “Though it looks like you’re enjoying yourself.”
“Under the cushion.” Kris managed to rasp, opening his eyes just enough to watch as Adam used his free hand to fish below the couch cushion. It felt gross, lord knows what was under there in addition to whatever Kris was talking about, but after a few moments he found a small bottle and pulled it out.
“You’re a genius.” Adam praised, easing his fingers out gently. “But you forgot a condom.”
“I don’t think you’re going to get me pregnant, Adam.” Kris said, rolling his eyes at first but after Adam shot him a pointed glare his expression sobered. “Are you, you know, healthy?” Kris asked, wincing. “I mean, obviously you would have told me if it was something big but do you have like-“
“No, no. I’m fine.” Adam assured him. “I just thought, sometimes it’s easier. I’m just used to it, it’s a habit.”
“It’s a good habit.” Kris said, taking the bottle - which Adam noticed was well used - and popping the cap with his teeth. “A-plus for safety. As a reward you get to throw caution to the wind.” He poured the remainder of the substance out onto his hand and rubbed his palms together. “Cause I am safe and as long as you’re cool…I’d rather it be just you and me.” With that he slid his right hand around Adam’s cock and his left around behind himself. That same blissful expression came over his face again as he prepped himself, and Adam relaxed into Kris’s ministrations, thrusting lazily into his lubed hand.
“Yeah. Sounds like a plan” Adam agreed belatedly, which seemed to bring Kris out of his reverie. “Come on, Kris. I wanna fuck you so bad.”
“Yeah?” Kris said, opening one eye. He cautiously lowered himself down, wincing a bit as Adam’s cock stretched him open again. “Tell me.” He gasped, sinking lower. “Like I told you.”
Adam forced himself to keep his eyes open. Kris motherfucking Allen was working himself lower on his cock and it felt beyond ridiculous, it felt better than anything. Like he was about to fly. Like fucking singing with Queen all over again.
“You want me to tell you about it?” Adam said, his voice sounding strange in his own ears. “You want me to tell you how I noticed you from day one. How I watched you sing, your mouth, fuck Kris, that mouth.” Adam sighed as Kris took him in completely and began to move a little. Adam helped him, placing his hands around Kris’s thighs and rocking him gently.
“Yes. Tell me.” Kris whispered, eyes wide open and begging for it.
“The first time I saw you sing, I got hard watching your mouth move.” Adam hissed, remembering the first time he saw Kris’s tongue run along his thick lower lip. “I wanted you so bad, and it was before I even knew your name. Then I saw…I saw your hand and I was so pissed. Like, not bummed but legitimately pissed. Which is such bullshit but - oh God damn Kris you feel so good - when we got assigned the same room - fuck - I thought I was a dead man. I thought I was going to literally die from not fucking you.”
“Silly.” Kris rasped through clenched teeth. He began to buck his hips faster and Adam couldn’t help thrusting deeper in response. “Keep talking.”
“The weeks went by and I tried to keep from thinking about it.” Adam’s voice broke as Kris clenched down on him hard, riding him with abandon. “ Cause I loved you, I’ve always loved you. But I couldn’t help myself. The way you’d look at me. The way you’d touch me. I’d wait till you were asleep and I’d - “ Adam drew a sharp breath as Kris tightened around him again, his face lost in bliss.
“So close, Adam.”
“I’d jerk off thinking about you, like this. I’d come picturing your mouth on mine, I’d bite my lips to keep from screaming your na-“ Adam was interrupted by Kris’s mouth opening over his, hot and messy and demanding attention. Adam shoved his tongue roughly into the open space, tasting how close Kris was. His entire body felt stiff as he rode, each motion purposeful and impossibly good before he gave a shudder and exploded. Adam felt Kris’s ass constrict and pulse as his come flooded from him onto Adam’s stomach. It was all Adam needed to let loose. He held Kris close and fucked him hard, building his own climax in moments.
“Come inside me.” Kris exhaled in his ear, desperate and a little pained. “Come on, Adam. Come for me.” The edge in his voice sent Adam careening into orgasm, the force of it crumbling him like plate glass as he shot himself deep inside Kris. It felt good. It felt fucking amazing. His hips twitched upwards again, giving a final jerk before Kris collapsed against his chest. Kris lay still for the most part, wiggling a little as if he wanted to wring a little bit more pleasure from Adam’s cock; desperate for more sensation. Adam finally went soft and felt himself slide out of Kris’s ass. Kris gave a sad little sigh, still dead weight on Adam’s chest.
“We should get up.” Adam moaned into Kris’s hair after what felt like a long time. We’ve got some housekeeping to do.”
“Ugh. I don’t care. Let them see.” Kris grumbled, but shifted off anyway and pulled his shirt back on. Dawn was breaking now, and Adam could see the landscape shifting as they drove further upstate.
He looked up at Kris, who was smiling down at him and running his hands though Adam’s hair. Sunlight poured in through the window, making him squint, and Adam couldn’t resist pulling him down to the couch again, ignoring the sounds of the other men waking up. He kissed Kris like he couldn’t get enough of his mouth. It was probably true, Adam mused sucking on Kris’s lower lip as Kris made low-pitched noises in the back of his throat. His hands had just started to make a short voyage up Kris’s newly - rebuttoned shirt when there was a small knock on the partition door.
“Yo, Uh, is Kris in there?”
It was Matt. Kris pulled his head up sharply and sat up, looking like a kid caught out after curfew.
“Yeah, he’s here.” Adam said, stilling Kris. “But we’re watching a movie.”
“Kris, man, you said we’d play Call of Duty one last time this morning.”
Adam looked at Kris and quirked an eyebrow, tilting his head to indicate Kris should say something.
“Your call.” Adam whispered low, and Kris swallowed hard.
“I, uh. Look Matt, Adam and I kinda-“ Kris paused, unsure of what to say next. “Yeah. We’re…aw come on you know.”
“…You’re kidding.” Matt said, a low chuckle in his throat. “Oh, man. I knew it. I KNEW it. Really?”
Kris looked back to Adam, a silent plea for help on his face.
“You wanna come in here and check?” Adam asked, enjoying Kris’s shocked look and Matt’s choking sound of surprise. “Cause if not I suggest you tell the guys they can live without TV for one morning.”
“Duuuude. Kradam is real, yo!” Matt said in his pinched voice, and Adam laughed as he heard the rest of the bus react.
“Damn straight.” Kris yelled, emboldened by Adam, as always.
“Nice word choice” Adam commented, pulling Kris into another kiss. Kris tensed at first, but slowly opened his mouth, letting Adam relax him with his slow, gentle tongue. He pulled away, kissing Kris’s lips softly. “I’m proud of you, telling him, knowing all of them would know.”
“They all knew anyway.” Kris said, blushing. “Everyone knows, Adam. It’s all over my face, every time I look at you. It’s about time we stopped fighting it. I should just…kiss you onstage or something and get it over with.” Kris joked, obviously enjoying the idea of a little scandal.
“That would make these last few days pretty interesting.” Adam laughed, picturing the headlines.
“I have a few other ideas of how to make these last few days pretty interesting.” Kris said, waggling his eyebrows. “And Detroit too. And when I move to LA…”
"You’re going to make my whole life interesting from now on, aren’t you?” Adam said, holding his arm out for another quick hug. Kris rose, reaching for the rest of their clothes.
“It’d only be fair.” Kris kissed him again, brief and sweet as he tugged on his pants. “Speaking of fair...I know you like the top, but I think I’d like to try it too.”
Adam quirked a grin at him.
“Sweetheart, you were on top. Tonight I’m gonna fuck you on your back.”
Kris wrinkled his nose as he laughed, tossing Adam his t-shirt.
“You’re such a bitch.”
“Yeah, but I’m yours.” Adam agreed, wrapping his arms around Kris’s legs and burying his face against his stomach, stealing one more moment before they faced the rest of the day.