Possession, Chapter 7
When the handlers saw Danny's face a few hours later, the drama really began.
All of the Idols were kept in the room where they'd met to have breakfast and taken one at a time into a little side room to be questioned. Whoever was not being questioned at the moment waited in the larger room, most of them tense, worried, and utterly confused.
Most of them had no idea what had happened.
Kris and Adam both played it cool, doing their best to seem as confused and clueless as the others. The handlers had no knowledge of the secret arrangement that had been taking place among the Idols for the past few weeks, and therefore had no reason to suspect that Adam or Kris might know more than the others. Adam's makeup covered his own injuries well, and he had developed an expert poker face by this point.
Kris wished that his was as good; he hoped the sick sensation of terror he felt at the prospect of being caught did not show on his face, but he was well aware that most things did. Somehow, however, he made it through the tense interview with the handlers without saying a word -- and without freaking out and breaking down and confessing everything.
Barely.
None outside the three directly involved knew anything specific about what had happened the night before, and none of them mentioned anything about the arrangement among the guys regarding Adam. Even Danny kept his mouth stubbornly shut as the handlers asked him about how he'd gotten the glaring purple bruises that covered his face and the bloody defensive wounds that scored his hands.
At one point, the raised, frustrated voices of the handlers coming from the side room where Danny was being questioned informed the other Idols of his refusal to cooperate, and Adam and Kris exchanged a momentary, almost accidental look. It was sheer instinct; they hadn’t spoken since Kris had left Adam’s room early that morning. They were the only ones who knew what had happened, and they both knew the potential consequences should Danny break under the pressure.
Kris only hoped that he had made those consequences seem far more threatening to Danny than whatever consequences the handlers were threatening if he didn’t explain what happened.
The questioning process took well over an hour, delaying their travel schedule for the day. At last, the handlers gave up, storming out of the room, frustrated, snapping at the Idols to stay put while they made sure the buses were ready, and warning them that this was not by any means over.
The girls were utterly confused, quietly questioning among themselves and the guys, having no idea who might have hurt Danny or why. Despite the fact that none of them knew for sure what had happened, most of the guys had a better idea.
They all knew that the previous night had been Danny's night.
Danny's darker tendencies, while never overtly mentioned among the group, were a sort of secret yet common knowledge among the guys. Although Adam had never complained, never refused to go to Danny to this point, it was not a surprising concept to any of them that Danny might have pushed things too far, and received his injuries as a consequence of that overstep.
Once on the bus, Danny did not pause to talk to anyone; he walked immediately to the bunks at the back and closed himself into his own space -- clearly unwilling to face any questions they might have had for him.
Adam looked as if he had been about to head for the bunks himself, but he froze when he saw Danny go there ahead of him, and instead sank down at one of the seats around the small table near the center of the bus. Resting his elbow on the table and his face in his hand, he let out a deep, shaky breath, visibly struggling to steady himself.
Kris kept his distance, sitting down in the seat directly behind the driver's compartment, huddling in on himself so that he appeared even smaller than usual in a clear, visible signal that any advances from the others would be firmly, immediately rejected.
The others awkwardly chose seats, casting uncomfortable looks at one another, all of them unsure how to react or what to say in the midst of this difficult situation, the nature of which they could only guess at.
Matt was the bravest of them all, and ventured to sit down cautiously in the seat beside Adam. Had Adam been looking up at his face, he might have seen that there was nothing but concern in Matt's expression -- but Adam wasn't looking at him as Matt reached out a tentative hand to rest on his leg, just above his knee.
"Hey, man," he said in a voice that was uncharacteristically soft and gentle. "You okay? What the hell happened last...?"
He never got the chance to finish the question. Adam instantly jerked away from him, shoving him hard with both hands and knocking him off the seat and onto the floor on his ass. Adam stood up abruptly, glaring down at Matt in fearful defiance, as Matt stared up at him in incredulous, wounded disbelief, too caught off guard by the attack to even get up at first.
The other guys stared back and forth between the two, stunned by Adam's unexpectedly violent reaction -- all except Kris, who kept his eyes averted, sorrow and regret etched into his expression, because he knew all too well why Adam had reacted as he had.
Adam's voice trembled with taut, desperate emotion as he turned his furious eyes - more arresting then ever, now blazing with defiant challenge - on each of the others in turn. Though there were tears shining in his eyes, there was no doubt as to how deeply he meant the warning words he spoke.
"The next person who tries to touch me... is gonna look worse than Danny when I'm done."
He started toward the bunks, then hesitated, biting his lower lip as he seemed to remember something. He glanced back at the gathered guys around him -- all staring when they could, while trying hard to look as if they weren't -- and seemed to make a decision. He swore quietly under his breath as he turned and headed toward his own bunk, climbing up into it and closing the curtain tight behind him.
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Kris watched, heartsick, knowing exactly why Adam was reluctant to go to the bunks, despite his desire for solitude. It spoke volumes towards his state of mind, however, that he was more willing to face Danny’s presence than to endure the prying - if well-intentioned - scrutiny of the others.
He knows Danny wouldn’t dare touch him again… not now…
Quit trying to rationalize it, Allen. This is the kind of shame this entire situation - this situation you put him in - has caused him. He’d rather face the prospect of being alone with Danny again than to face the shame of all of these guys knowing that something happened.
Kris’s eyes widened, staring at the wall beside him, sick with the mounting burden of guilt that came with realizing exactly what he’d been doing to Adam over the past few weeks. Now, what he hadn’t seen since the arrangement had begun was all so painfully clear.
He didn’t want this. He never wanted this. He did it to make you happy… and you let him get hurt and violated in the worst way. He was scared, and humiliated, and didn’t want to do it, but he trusted you not to let something like this happen… and you let him down.
Matt finally picked himself up on the floor - and made his way toward Kris to sit down beside him.
“What are you, a masochist?” Kris muttered, casting a warning glance in his direction.
Matt ignored his half-hearted threat, correctly surmising that Kris wouldn’t actually lash out at him as Adam had. He shook his head slowly as he gave Kris a bewildered look, his voice hushed and vaguely horrified.
“Kris, man… what the hell happened last night?”
Seated across from Kris and emboldened by Matt’s question, Michael added his own question, a concerned frown creasing his brow. “Did Adam do that to Danny?” His tone darkened as he added, “And what did Danny do to deserve it?”
“Guys…” Kris covered his eyes with his hand, feeling trapped and overwhelmed and unwilling to share any of the details of the night before with his friends - not before he had the chance to talk to Adam and figure out where they stood. “… just let it go, okay? It’s none of your business.”
“Um… yeah it is,” Matt argued quietly. “You kinda made it our business, Kris. We’re involved in this, so… we kinda have a right to know…”
“No, you’re not,” Kris snapped, standing up. “Not anymore. Until further notice, the schedule is cancelled, all right? That’s all you need to know. Just… just back off, guys.”
He stalked away from them a few paces, then stopped, realizing there was really nowhere to go. He considered going back to the bunks to try to talk to Adam, but then decided that there wasn’t enough privacy here, no way to talk to Adam without everyone else being aware of the conversation.
Not to mention the fact that he still wasn’t sure he could be that close to Danny without punching him in the face.
The all-important conversation with Adam would have to wait at least until they got to the next city.
If he even wants to talk to me then…
Frustrated and helpless, feeling far more claustrophobic than he’d ever felt on the bus, Kris sank down into the seat Adam had just vacated, resting his head in his hands. Wisely, the others left him alone, seeming far more concerned about the well-being of their friends than about the postponed schedule of their time with Adam.
About two hours into the drive, the bus stopped at a gas station to allow the Idols to get drinks and snacks or whatever they might want for the rest of the trip. Adam emerged from his bunk long enough to speak with one of the handlers by the bus door - within Kris’s line of vision, and quietly but loudly enough for Kris to hear the conversation.
“I think I’m gonna go ride with the girls for a little while if that’s okay,” Adam softly suggested, giving the female handler a disarming smile that rarely failed to get him what he wanted. He added a little laugh that probably only Kris could tell was forced, rolling his eyes and leaning in conspiratorially to confess, “It smells like guy in here… and not in a good way. I’m having a little bit of motion sickness, so… it’d probably be better…”
“Of course, not a problem.”
The handler readily agreed, returning Adam’s smile despite her obviously bad mood - no doubt due to the upsetting events of that morning. Adam had a way of getting through people’s defenses and lifting their spirits without even really trying - and even when his own had been ruthlessly crushed.
When Adam left the bus, Kris felt an overwhelming feeling of loss and rejection. With a cold, empty feeling in the pit of his stomach, he slipped back to the bunks and laid down. He was too focused on his own relationship with Adam to worry about Danny at the moment.
What relationship? He wants nothing to do with me anymore - and who could blame him?
Bereft, Kris could no longer hold back the emotions that overwhelmed him, and allowed his tears to fall silently into his pillow as the buses continued on their way toward the next tour stop.
For the next two days, the tour continued without interruption. If a few of the Idols seemed to be going through the motions of their sets, the crowds didn’t really seem to notice. To Kris’s awe and amazement, Adam was not one of those few. He lost himself in the music of his set each night, feeding off the energy and affection of the crowd, drawing from it strength and confidence that he had lost.
Kris left him alone, telling himself that when Adam was ready - if such a time ever came - Adam would seek him out.
And if such a time never came - well, it was no less penance than Kris deserved.
On the afternoon of the third show, as they were getting off the buses at the venue, Kris was startled by the touch of Adam’s hand on his arm, momentarily stopping him in his tracks. His mouth went dry as he looked up to meet Adam’s calm, controlled gaze, an anxious question in his own.
“I’m ready to talk to you.”
There was something awe-inspiring in Adam’s composure as he boldly met Kris’s gaze - not a trace of the submissive deference he’d displayed before the past few days. His voice was quiet, composed, not a trace of a tremor, and Kris knew that something vital had changed within him since they’d last spoken - something monumental that he would soon be discovering - on Adam’s terms.
“After the show tonight."
TBC...