Tainted -- Chapter 21
The warm weight of Kris’s gentle arms wrapped around him was soothing and reassuring to Adam as he lay on the bed, his head resting in Kris’s lap. Kris was sitting with his back braced against the headboard. Adam had started out with his head near Kris’s shoulder, but exhaustion had dragged him downward until he was nearly prone, his face buried against Kris’s thighs. Kris had one arm resting across his shoulders, his other hand running slow, soothing circles through Adam’s damp, disheveled hair.
The tears, the emotional struggle of the past few hours, had left Adam drained and exhausted to the point of nearly passing out. He no longer knew what he felt, could no longer form a coherent thought, it seemed, except gratitude that kept circling through his mind, and his utter relief at Kris’s reaction to his confession. He had spent so long believing that Kris would reject the truth outright, insisting that there had to be some other explanation.
Adam was pitifully grateful just to be believed by his friend.
“Thank you,” he whispered, his voice trembling and weary. “Thank you… thank you…”
“Hey, it’s okay,” Kris murmured, never ceasing the slow, soothing motions of his hands that gently pushed Adam’s weary mind closer to the precipice of healing sleep. “It’s okay, Adam, just relax, okay? You’re all right…”
Adam allowed his thoughts to focus on the low, warm tones of Kris’s voice, continuing to speak softly to him, and he began to drift off, allowing his burning eyes to fall closed, his tense, aching muscles to slowly relax against the shelter Kris provided. It was such a sweet, overwhelming relief to finally let the secret out, to finally share the burden with someone else, and in the wake of that intense encounter, Adam fell asleep.
He awakened barely thirty minutes later, in the grip of a nightmare.
Abruptly, his peaceful relief was forgotten with a sharp stab of fear as he remembered why he had resisted telling Kris the truth in the first place. His stomach lurched, sick with rising panic, as he thought of what Larissa would do if she found out he’d told. Kris would want to go to the authorities, surely. He couldn’t keep dating her, not knowing what she’d done; he would certainly continue with his plans to break up with her.
And as soon as he did either, they would both be lost.
He started, raising his head, drawing in a sharp, shaky breath.
“Easy,” Kris murmured, gently pressing his shoulder back down. “Adam… relax.” His voice was soft and reassuring, but carried a subtle note of command and confidence that made Adam feel safe and protected. “You’re okay,” Kris quietly insisted. “No one knows you’re here - that we’re here, together, right now - okay? You’re safe. No one’s gonna hurt you.”
Adam felt his fears beginning to ease again as his tired thoughts began to fade away under the power of Kris’s low, calm voice, almost hypnotically soothing. His hands rested at Kris’s hips, trembling, desperately seeking something secure and steadying - but he started to relax again, just allowing himself to hear the words Kris was still speaking softly into the stillness.
“That’s it… it’s all right… just rest, okay? We won’t let her know you said anything to me, all right? You’re okay. It’s all right, I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere, and I’m not going to let anybody hurt you, Adam. I promise.”
Adam was trembling, clinging to Kris, eyes wide against the nightmare images that filled his vision when he closed them. Kris’s cool fingers ran through his hair again, and Adam wanted to lose himself in the soothing sensation - but he knew that he couldn’t.
He had to know what would happen next.
Reluctantly, he sat up a little, though he couldn’t quite bring himself to face Kris fully. He rested his head against Kris’s chest, his eyes focused on the wall beside the bed, as Kris shifted to get comfortable, adjusting so that his arms were wrapped securely around Adam again, holding him close.
“You do believe me, don’t you?” Adam whispered at last, aware of the painful vulnerability in the barely whispered words.
Kris was quiet for a moment, and a tremor of panic coursed through Adam before he finally spoke. “I do,” he stated firmly. “I just… it’s a lot to take in, you know? I mean… she’s my girlfriend. How could I have missed this?”
Adam was silent, having no answer for him. He thought back over the false smiles Larissa had given him whenever Kris was around, the tenderness and affection he’d seen on her face when she’d interacted with Kris. A shudder passed through him and he held onto Kris a little tighter, turning his face instinctively into the soft fabric of Kris’s shirt.
“Sh-she’s… really good,” he whispered, his voice trembling slightly.
Kris returned Adam’s intensified embrace, cradling him close as he silently considered the situation. “She’s that jealous of you,” he remarked, quiet disbelief in his voice, as if he couldn’t quite fathom that it was possible. “Does she actually think there’s something going on between us?”
She would if she saw this…
Adam didn’t speak, just held onto Kris, taking comfort in his nearness - well aware that outside this room, he would have to give it up again.
“At the hospital, when you were… refusing to see me…” Kris continued, his tone thoughtful, as if he was speaking to himself as much as to Adam. “… she kept pushing me to stay away. ‘Adam knows what he needs; you should just respect that and keep your distance’.”
“She m-made me tell you that,” Adam whispered, a pleading note in his voice. “That I didn’t want to see you. She… she told me that if I told anybody… they wouldn’t believe me. There’s no actual evidence to connect her to… to… what happened, and… she said that they’d all think I was crazy since I… I never liked her anyway, and…” His voice trailed off, breaking over the last few words, and he lowered his face again.
“Adam, that’s ridiculous,” Kris reassured him gently, running the backs of his fingers lightly across Adam’s cheek, craning his neck in an unsuccessful attempt to look down to meet Adam’s closed, averted eyes. “No one ever thought you were crazy. Sure, it’s tough to think about, but… I would have believed you. I do believe you.” Kris paused for a moment, thinking, before asking softly, “How’d you figure out it was her?”
Adam was silent, struggling with his own emotions to find the answer. At last he spoke, his voice quiet and halting. “The… the guy who… took me… he told me that… the person who hired him wanted me to… to stay away from you. And… made it sound like… they’d be watching me, and… in the hospital… I just looked at her, and… and I knew. If you could have… have seen her face, Kris… it was just… she…” Kris said nothing, and Adam continued, shaking his head slightly against Kris’s shirt. “She knew I knew, and she… she left her purse in my room on purpose… so she could come back for it and… and threaten me.”
Kris’s hands tightened slightly on Adam, and he tensed, instinctively apprehensive. But when Kris spoke, the edge of dangerous fury in his voice was clearly not aimed at Adam.
“She won’t touch you, Adam, I swear. Neither of them will. I promise, nobody’s gonna hurt you; I don’t care what they said, okay?”
Adam nodded, though he wasn’t really sure that Kris was capable of protecting him against the likes of the man who’d hurt him. He shuddered at the dark memories that assailed him. There was no way that Kris could ever understand the evil that he’d faced during those three days of hellish torment.
There was no way that Adam ever wanted him to understand.
“We’ll find a way to prove it, Adam,” Kris continued, firm resolve in his voice. “We’ll get them put away.”
Adam shook his head, despairing. He felt irrationally ashamed, his voice hoarse and small as he admitted, “I never saw his face, Kris. I don’t… don’t have any idea what he looks like, or a-anything about him. And… if she’s arrested, she said… he’ll… he’ll c-come after me again.” His trembling intensified, and Adam swallowed hard, struggling for control. “We can’t… can’t turn her in. Please, you promised…”
“I know,” Kris cut him off gently. “I know, and I meant it, Adam. We’re not doing anything you don’t want to do.” He paused, waiting until Adam had relaxed a little to add cautiously, “There’s just… gotta be a way to catch her, though - to get her to implicate her accomplice so we can get them both arrested.”
Adam swallowed back a shuddering breath, shaking his head and closing his eyes. “She won’t,” he whispered, feeling defeated and hopeless. “She’s too smart. If she thought I… thought I knew anything about… who the guy was…” He hesitated, his voice hushed and fearful when he concluded, “… I wouldn’t be alive right now.”
“He’s her leverage,” Kris observed, quiet and thoughtful. “She knows you won’t turn her in, because he’s still out there if you do.” He fell silent, and when he spoke again there was a soft horror in his voice. “Adam, I’m so sorry,” he whispered, shaking his head slowly. “I’m so sorry I didn’t know. I can’t believe I never saw it.”
*******************************************
By the time Kris returned to his room hours later - nearly a full hour after Adam returned to his own room - he was as exhausted as Adam. He finally felt as if the truth was sinking in, the reality of who Larissa really was, a sick weight in the pit of his stomach. He lay down on his own bed, staring at the ceiling, lost in his own troubled thoughts.
He reached across to the nightstand and picked up his cell phone, dialing a familiar number and waiting as the phone rang. Halfway through the third ring, his girlfriend picked up.
“Hey, baby.”
“Hey.” It was all Kris could do to keep his voice calm and level, let alone the idea of returning the endearment Larissa so easily offered.
As if she hasn’t spent the last month torturing and terrorizing my best friend - as if every word she’s said to me hasn’t been part of an elaborate lie that she’s not only telling but living!
“Um… listen.” Kris stared at the ceiling, his expression grim and resolute as he thought back over the conversation he’d just had with Adam. “I was wondering… do you think you could make it to the show in Cleveland on Wednesday after all?”
Larissa was quiet for a few moments, caught off guard by the question. “I thought you told me not to bother to come - that you wouldn’t have much time to visit, anyway.”
“I know I did, but… I changed my mind.” Kris cut her off in a voice that was, to his credit, mild and calm if a bit distant. “It’s just… we really need to talk. Can you make it?”
Larissa was quiet for a moment, and her uncertainty was almost a tangible thing in the room as Kris waited for her response.
“Okay,” she replied at last. “I’ll be there.”
“Good. See you then.”
“Kris? I love…”
Kris disconnected the call before she could finish the false sentiment that he knew he could not bring himself to return.
TBC...