Sometimes, I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. Ive felt hollow lately. Horribly depressed at times. I wonder if its chemical. But what else could it be? Unless its my subconscious pointing to everyone else and saying "look how well they're doing" or "really, Paul, do you think they ever liked you? Do you think they still like you? You're fun for ( Read more... )

Not really ( Read more... )

And I really want to go see them ( Read more... )

But for some reason I'm awake, and I have to be up in a few hours.

FUCK.

I are so eloquent

So I'm on probably my last night at my sisters house. In the time that I got here, which was Last week on a Sunday, Ive only had a few beers(the first 2 nights I was here) and came here with all of maybe 6 cigarrettes. I haven't had a smoke in like, 4 days now. Maybe only 3 ( Read more... )

Its time to announce my holy war ( Read more... )

I felt like something would happen. Just like when I took vacation and felt like at the end something would change. And it did. I lost my job but gained my life. Now suddenly, I have closure ( Read more... )

I really really need to get laid.

I am getting sloppy with the porn. I didn't realize I left such a history on this thing.

I'm kicking myself for not going for the kill in Mt. Holyoke.

Fuck.

I'm sitting here at the computer, procrastinating. I'm not doing anything with my life, literally. I'm in a catch 22. I hate living at home, but in order to move out I need a job. But I know the second I get a job all the stresses that come with it will push me to smoking and drinking more, wasting money that I should be saving. That, and living ( Read more... )

But instead I went to see my sister, so it was all good. I had a pretty enjoyable week off. Kinda lost my job because of it. But I really can't say as I give a crap... The only part that has me all worked up is actually my dad. He hasn't gotten off my ass about it. He's convincing me that it's the end of the world. I'm largely calm about it. Unless ( Read more... )