Pairing: Kris/Suho
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Angst, Romance, Family!au
Word Count: 8070
Warning(s): Mentions of alcoholism and profanity
Summary: Junmyeon struggles to figure out what he really wants.
Author's Note: Shout out to the Triforce. I love you!! Thank you very much for the support. Kisses~
Originally posted at
suholiday .
Junmyeon doesn’t remember the exact moment his life began to fall apart, but he does remember when he started to notice the seams coming loose on his once perfect life.
He met Yifan back when they were both second years in college, neither of them having a clue about what they wanted to do in life. It was hard breaking down the wall between them at first because of Yifan’s closed-off demeanor clashing with Junmyeon’s outgoing one. Eventually, they managed to jump over that hurdle together after Junmyeon got Yifan to laugh over one of his lame jokes and Yifan shared one of his own.
As the year went by, Junmyeon realized that he wanted to become a teacher and kind of liked Yifan as more than a friend. He didn’t bother to beat around the bush about his feelings because the thought of growing old and asking himself ‘what if’ was terrifying. As it turned out, Yifan felt the same way about him and naturally, they got together.
After graduating from university, the couple moved into a shabby apartment together in the middle of the city so that it was easier for both parties to commute to work without much of a hassle. Junmyeon and Yifan liked to simply snuggle on the couch whenever they had down time, basking in each other’s presence, whispering sweet nothings over dinner and interlacing their fingers during intimate times.
On their fifth anniversary, Yifan proposed on the beach and Junmyeon said yes, throwing his arms around Yifan’s neck and peppering the man’s face with kisses. His hands were too shaky as Yifan tried to slide the silver band on his finger, resulting in an accidental backhand to his fiancé’s face. When they finished making love that night, Junmyeon confessed that he had a ring of his own tucked in their closet all ready to propose to Yifan, but he had been beaten to the punch. They decided to have a civil ceremony in court to save money for their dream home in the suburbs. It all paid off when they were finally able to leave the city for a quieter life, perfect for raising children. Junmyeon was happier than ever.
Ever since he and Yifan adopted their baby boy, Sehun, from a local orphanage last spring, their lives turned hectic. The couple dedicated all of their time into making sure their son was always well-fed and happy, forgetting all about themselves and each other. Whenever Junmyeon wasn’t watching over Sehun, he would be making up lesson plans for his kindergarteners or tidying up their modest home. As for Yifan, he spent all of his non-Sehun time down at his office job. With their schedules tightly packed, the couple only ever spent time together sleeping in bed. Even then, Yifan always came home late so that left Junmyeon to tuck himself in and when Yifan woke up in the morning, Junmyeon would already be gone.
Juggling a baby, career, and marriage wasn’t supposed to be easy, that much Junmyeon knew. He understood that sacrifices had to be made for the time being in order for things to run as smoothly as possible. There were the occasional bumps as life moved along, but never did he anticipate a massive roadblock to appear before him.
Three months after the adoption, Yifan started to drink a lot. Somedays when Junmyeon woke up, he’d find his husband laying by his side and reeking of alcohol. On other days, the older man would be splayed out in various parts of the house, the stairs, kitchen table, and bathroom floor to name a few. Junmyeon told himself this was only a phase because of accumulated stress, burying himself in denial every morning.
It wasn’t just a phase, of course. Yifan’s behavior escalated to the point where he wouldn’t come home on the weekends because he was too wrecked to return, opting to sleep in his car for the night. Junmyeon grew resentful of how irresponsible his husband was acting and tried to get through to the man on the rare occasion they were both home and Sehun wasn’t screaming at the top of his lungs. Their talks never got anywhere because Yifan would become defensive and Junmyeon accusatory.
Junmyeon truly wanted to believe that nothing was wrong in his life, but the evidence around him proved otherwise. He had a hard time coming to terms with reality and it affected his ability to be a good father. Whenever Sehun cried in the middle of the night, Junmyeon always stayed on his side of the bed a little longer just so the kid suffered a little and understood life wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine. Once in awhile, Sehun would accidentally relieve himself during bath time and Junmyeon yelled at the poor boy for having poor control over his actions.
He didn’t know what he was doing was wrong until his neighbor, Baekhyun, came by to drop off a batch of homemade cookies. Baekhyun couldn’t believe his eyes and ears when he walked in on Junmyeon flipping out over Sehun soiling another one of his bibs. It was a slap to the face to say the least, having a third party intervene and show him the error of his ways.
After the incident, Junmyeon realized he needed to treat Sehun better and remove the poison from their lives.
Yifan left without a fight.
They didn’t want to go through the messy paperwork that comes with a divorce, so a separation seemed like the best fit for them. Junmyeon got to stay in their house because Yifan dropped off the face of the earth before any arrangements could be made.
Junmyeon isn’t sure how he feels about Sehun not having seen his other parent in over two months now, but their baby boy seems to be doing fine as he cries out for his father attention. He walks over to the nursery where Sehun wails in his crib, limbs kicking and punching the air.
“There, there. Appa is here now,” Junmyeon says in a soothing tone, scooping Sehun up in his arms. Junmyeon smiles down at his son and sits down on the wooden rocking chair Yifan insisted they had to buy for the room, so now Junmyeon’s legs dangle over the ledge of the chair like those of a child’s. He whispers reassuring words to Sehun as he rocks the boy in his arms, hoping he’ll calm down soon. Sleep has been nothing but a fleeting memory for Junmyeon ever since Yifan left and every moment he can use up to rest is well cherished.
By the time the cries have died down, Junmyeon is already knocked out and Sehun sucks on his thumb until he falls asleep as well.
The next morning, Junmyeon is shaken awake and he panics for a moment.
“Take me instead. Sehun is still innocent!” he shouts.
“Whoa, calm down. It’s only me Jun, Baekhyun your lovely neighbor,” Baekhyun reassures him and takes a step back to give the man some space.
Junmyeon sighs a breath of relief when his eyes fall on the younger man and glances down in his arms to make sure Sehun is okay. Thankfully the little commotion didn’t wake the boy up.
“What are you doing here, though, and how did you get in?” he asks as he gets up to place his baby boy back in his crib.
“You gave me a spare set of keys for emergencies.” Baekhyun jangles the keys in front of Junmyeon’s face. “And I thought something happened to you since you usually bring Sehun over before leaving for work.”
Junmyeon’s mind is slow to process Baekhyun’s words, but once he realizes what they mean, he reverts back to panic mode. He’s late for work and Kyungsoo’s going to kick his ass for this.
“Fuck!” If it were any other day, he’d apologize profusely for cursing in front of Sehun. He scrambles out of the nursery and dashes straight to his room where he throws on a clean shirt and pair of pants. Morning breath can be taken care of with a mouthful of mints, so he forgoes brushing his teeth and climbs into his car, hitting the gas like a madman. During a rather long red light, he texts Baekhyun an apology for leaving without a goodbye and wishes him a good day.
Junmyeon receives an earful from Kyungsoo when he arrives on campus ten minutes late, leaving his children under Kyungsoo’s care for a brief period. He explains the situation to the principal and gets off with a warning and a reminder to call next time.
The children are more than happy to see their teacher and swarm to the colorful rug in the corner of the classroom where they start off the day by sharing what they want to be when they grow up. Some of the kids give short answers while others babble on for a good two or three minutes, flailing their hands for added emphasis.
During arts and crafts time in the afternoon, his students are silent (for the most part) in concentration as they glue pieces of uncooked macaroni onto a sheet of construction paper. Almost everyone gets glue on their hands and completely forgets about it until the mess dries up, crying out in horror.
Once Junmyeon is assured that they are all on task, he seeks solace at his desk and pops a couple more breath mints into his mouth. An angry-looking Jongin walks over with his arms folded over his chest.
“Hey, Mr. Wu, why are you eatin’ candy? That’s not fair!” Jongin huffs and wags his finger at Junmyeon.
“They’re only mints, Jongin. Now go finish your macaroni masterpiece.” Junmyeon smiles sweetly at the boy, giving him a gentle shove in the direction of his desk.
The boy stomps his feet in protest, but immediately waddles away when his deskmate, Chanyeol, calls out for him.
“Jongin! Help me hold this in place.”
“I’m coming, I’m coming! Wait for me, hyung.”
Junmyeon returns home feeling completely drained, but happy because he loves his job and wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the world. He gives himself a few minutes to rest on the couch before picking Sehun up from Baekhyun’s place. The cool leather feels good pressed against his cheek and he basks in the rays of the afternoon sun shining through the windows.
He leaves the house after feeling a little refreshed and walks the short distance to his neighbor’s house on the right. The exterior of their homes are identical in structure, but for some reason Baekhyun was able to get away with painting his black with a neon green trim. Every time Junmyeon comes over, he shudders and wonders how Zitao, Baekhyun’s husband, puts up with the eyesore on a daily basis.
“Hello, Baek?” he calls out upon opening up the front door with his spare key.
A yelp comes from the kitchen and moments later his neighbor pops his head out from behind the wall dividing the living room and dining room.
“Come back here. I was just finishing up feeding Sehun these nasty mushed peas. The boy giggles, yet this shit smells terrible,” Baekhyun grumbles and shoves the miniature glass jar under Junmyeon’s nose. They do smell disgusting, but as long as Sehun is willing to eat them without causing a huge fuss, nothing else matters.
Sehun shrieks in excitement upon spotting his father and extends his arms out, demanding to be picked up. Junmyeon can’t deny his baby boy anything, picking him carefully. He presses a kiss to Sehun’s forehead and one on each cheek, causing the boy the bubble up with laughter.
“Have you been good today? You didn’t cause uncle Baekhyun too much trouble, right?” he coos with a silly grin on his face.
“Sehun has been an angel, except for when he peed on me while I was changing his diaper. The damn brat had the audacity to laugh in my face.” Baekhyun glares at the baby jokingly and hands over the rest of the jar to Junmyeon.
“Maybe he thought you needed to cool down your attitude a little,” Junmyeon teases, taking Sehun over to the dining room and feeding him a little spoonful of mushed peas at a time.
Baekhyun plops down on the seat across from them, watching intently.
“Is something wrong?” Junmyeon asks as he wipes the corners of Sehun’s mouth with his bib.
“I should be asking you that,” his neighbor shoots back.
Junmyeon doesn’t need further explanation to understand what Baekhyun is getting at. He likes to avoid talking about the separation with Yifan because it helps him forget about the pain and loneliness. Even though Yifan was rarely home before they went their own ways, knowing that someone loved him dearly was enough to fill the hole in his heart.
The transition from having Yifan live with him to living on his own was easy because the change had already started months before. The hard part was dealing with the sense of failure as a husband and father. He wasn’t good enough for Yifan which was why the man refused to change his ways and, let down Sehun by allowing his other parent disappear from the picture.
As time goes by, it is easier to manage the turmoil in his head, but every now and then when he has alone time, it feels like hell has broken loose.
“Jun? Are you mad at me? I shouldn’t have said anything because it’s none of my business and -”
“No, it’s fine. I was just thinking a little.”
“Oh, alright. Do you want to stay for dinner since you’re already here?” Baekhyun offers.
Junmyeon shakes his head. “No, thank you. I just want to be alone with Sehun and my thoughts.”
He thanks Baekhyun as always for watching over his baby and leaves promptly.
On the weekend, Junmyeon invests all his time in Sehun. He seats the boy in his high chair in the kitchen so that he can talk to him while making a simple breakfast. Sehun seems pleased to hear his father’s soothing voice or maybe it’s just the teddy bear dressed in a rabbit costume he’s playing with that has his attention. Either way, Junmyeon likes to see Sehun smile and giggle without any inhibitions.
When they’re both full, Junmyeon decides to take them out to the local park since it’s such a lovely, sunny day. It takes the man a little longer than he’d like to dress Sehun, but the boy simply refuses to cooperate. Sehun flails his limbs in all directions and Junmyeon has to be swift with his movements in order to avoid a foot in the mouth.
There are plenty of people hanging around by the time they arrive, everyone looking happy and pleased with the gorgeous weather. A couple of young boys are tossing a frisbee in the open field which seems to give nearby picnickers a heart attack. Fellow parents play with their toddlers underneath the shade of some trees and elderly folk stroll by the lake with their wide-brimmed hats and shades on.
Junmyeon keeps to himself as he pushes the stroller around, pointing out butterflies and birds as they appear to Sehun. The boy is fascinated with everything they pass by, gurgling in delight.
They stop by a Chinese restaurant to order some take-out on their way home because Junmyeon’s legs feel like jelly after walking so much and isn’t sure if he’ll be able to stand in his kitchen for more than five seconds.
He takes turns feeding himself and Sehun, sneaking in an extra bite whenever the boy gets distracted by something new in the living room. The television is playing some sitcom Junmyeon has been meaning to watch, but he can’t be bothered to pay attention when his whole world is sitting in front of him.
“Are you full now, Sehun?” Junmyeon asks when the boy slumps in his high chair and looks like he’s ready to nod off.
He abandons the rest of his dinner in favor of putting Sehun to bed, smiling down at his baby over the side of the crib. Sehun looks so peaceful when he’s asleep and Junmyeon wishes he could relax like that from time to time.
“Goodnight, my dear,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to the boy’s forehead.
Junmyeon goes back downstairs to finish up his meal and changes the channel to the news station, nodding as the weather forecast for the next week flashes on the screen.
A knock on the front door has him startled and his heart racing. It’s so late in the day, the sun having set long ago. He pads over to the door carefully with the remote in his hands, just in case.
Yifan stands on the other side of the door looking fresh as a daisy on a warm spring morning and this unnerves Junmyeon greatly because someone who can abandon their family so easily shouldn’t be allowed to be anything more than a groveling mess from the pits of hell. The feelings he has been able to keep locked away for the past two months threaten to resurface, but he can’t allow that, not now and especially not in front of his (ex) husband.
“I don’t know what you’re doing here, but you should turn around and never come back. Sehun doesn’t need a drunkard in his life,” Junmyeon spits out, fingers clenching into fists.
“It’s nice to see you, too. Can I come on in? I want to see Sehun, even if he’s asleep.” Yifan tries to walk around Junmyeon, but the latter pushes him back past the threshold.
“No, you can’t. Leave before I call the cops on you.” Junmyeon hopes Yifan buys the empty threat, but he should have known better since the man has always been able to see right through him.
“He’s my son too, you know. Even if things don’t work out between us, I have every right to see Sehun,” Yifan says and slips past Junmyeon during the brief moment the smaller man has his guard down. He’s glad to see that not much has changed around the house as he climbs the steps, two at a time, heading straight for the nursery.
Sehun is fast asleep with his mouth agape and hands clutched tightly around his teddy bear. The built up anger from Yifan’s altercation with Junmyeon melts away at the sight of his baby boy. He steps forth to caress the boy’s cheek and wonders how he managed to keep away from the bundle of joy for so long.
“Baba is so sorry,” he whispers.
“Get away from him. He doesn’t need your dirty hands touching him!” Junmyeon hisses from the doorway. He doesn’t want to admit it, but watching Yifan interact with their son briefly made his heart swell up.
Yifan isn’t up for a fight in front of the baby, but the chances of seeing his son again any time soon is slim. He ignores the brooding figure in favor of picking Sehun up and kissing him on the cheek. Sehun barely stirs in his sleep, burying his face into his father’s shoulder. This moment is too precious to let go of so soon, so he sits down on the rocking chair where his feet plant firmly on the floor. It surprises him that Junmyeon hadn’t thrown the damn thing out the moment he left. His (ex) husband was never fond of the chair since its purchase. If it’s even possible, Sehun seems to be sleeping better as his father rocks them back and forth in the chair.
Junmyeon can’t stand another moment of Yifan invading his home and steps forward to take Sehun back.
“You need to give me back my baby and leave,” he commands, pointing at the doorway.
“Our baby,” his (ex) husband corrects him.
Yifan knows he can’t continue clutching onto Sehun like a safety shield and begs Junmyeon to at least let him put their boy back to bed. Junmyeon hesitantly allows it.
Yifan deliberately takes his time walking over to the crib even though it’s only five steps away with his long legs and carefully places Sehun back down. Sehun grabs ahold of his teddy bear immediately and Yifan regrets not having time to coo and cherish the moment.
“I really hope I can stop by next time and be treated more civilly,” Yifan laments on his way down, already missing the warmth of his son in his arms, with Junmyeon hot on his tracks to make sure he actually leaves.
“You don’t have to worry about that because there won’t be a next time.” Junmyeon opens up the door for Yifan like the well-mannered person he is.
Yifan frowns at the statement, but keeps his mouth shut and tosses a white coin in the smaller man’s direction.
The moment Yifan has both feet outside of his home, Junmyeon slams the door shut and discards the coin on the coffee table as he slumps down on the couch. The urge to apologize to his (ex) husband is strong, but then he hears Sehun crying from the nursery. It’s the only reminder he needs to know that he has made the correct decision to cut Yifan out of their lives. As much as it hurts, having an unstable force around won’t be helping anyone out.
Junmyeon takes a deep breath before trudging up the stairs to Sehun, picking his baby boy up and rocking him in his arms gently. Sehun’s cries subside miraculously after three minutes, turning into sniffles and eventually silence as he’s lulled back to sleep. Once he’s sure that Sehun will stay asleep for at least the next half hour, the man makes his way into the master bedroom where he curls up in a fetal position and commands the feelings of guilt to disappear.
Sleep evades Junmyeon that night.
On the last Friday of each month, Baekhyun and Zitao come over to Junmyeon’s place to have dinner. It was a tradition they all decided to start when Junmyeon first moved into the neighborhood and easily befriended Baekhyun. Even though they have one less person around to enjoy the meal with nowadays, the couple doesn’t want to put an end to things. Junmyeon suspects they feel pity for him after the separation, but Baekhyun swears on Zitao’s life that it’s not like that at all.
“How are you holding up?” Baekhyun asks as he helps Junmyeon out with preparing their meal.
“What are you talking about?” Junmyeon hasn’t told Baekhyun anything about the incident with Yifan and plans on keeping it under wraps for as long as possible. Once he starts sharing bits, the floodgates will break open.
“The other day, I was taking out the garbage when I saw Yifan approach your house. I would’ve thrown him in the bin too, but he walked inside so suddenly. I thought you two had magically made amends, but then he left as fast as he had come.”
Junmyeon curses under his breath and thanks the gods that Sehun is out in the living room playing with Zitao because Baekhyun isn’t going to let him leave the kitchen until he spills everything. It isn’t going to be a pretty sight and tears will probably be involved.
He turns off the stove (dinner can wait) and leans against the counter for support as he shares the turmoil he’s been facing the past few days piled onto the baggage of the past two months. Nothing makes sense anymore after Yifan reappeared. It’s unfair of the man to walk back in their lives with ease while Junmyeon has been fighting demons all on his own, leaving him completely worn out. A part of him wants to take the easy way out and end the rift between them, but Yifan doesn’t deserve that. He already took the easy way out by running away from his responsibilities as a husband and father. Now he needs to pay. Is punishment the right path to take though? Junmyeon is old enough to know that playing silly games at their age isn’t mature and forgiving the other would make him the bigger man...
“I don’t know what to do anymore,” he cries out, pressing his face into the crook of Baekhyun’s neck. He doesn’t remember when he clung onto his friend, but it feels good to know that there’s at least one person out there who won’t let him fall.
“Jun… If you want, I can ask Zitao to kick that guy’s ass. I’m sure he won’t mind getting his hands a little dirty for you.”
Junmyeon rolls his eyes. He doesn’t want Yifan’s ass to get kicked (anytime soon). “I need advice, you idiot, not your husband going to prison!”
Baekhyun mutters something about wanting to rattle Yifan’s jimmies, but Junmyeon would rather not know what that means. His friend leaves to grab a chair from the dining room and forces Junmyeon to simply listen to him as he finishes up cooking their dinner.
Once everything is prepared, they all gather around the table and chow down. Sehun squeals every time Zitao reaches over to tickle his feet and Junmyeon would usually be mad because his baby can’t eat, but seeing Sehun so happy makes the offense excusable for tonight.
Everyone has a good time sharing innocent stories and taking turns feeding Sehun mushed pumpkin. This is all Junmyeon could ever ask for, but in the back of his mind he knows that the illusion of happiness won’t last forever.
The schoolyard is alive with the shrieks and squeals of children as they run around and play during recess. They all look so happy and carefree. There’s the occasional scrape to the knee, but the kids bounce right back up seconds later as if nothing had happened.
Junmyeon stands off to the side to make sure no one is getting into fights or bullying a poor child. Every so often, he allows his mind to wander, but regrets it immediately once his thoughts go back to the other night. Seeing Yifan again really unraveled him and brought forth new emotions he never felt before. It’s a confusing time for him right now, trying to figure out why he wants to choke the life out of his (ex) husband and beg him to come back at the same time. Just last week he was content with the thought of raising Sehun all on his own with some help from the neighbors, but now the urge to have his partner in crime back is strong, despite lingering ill feelings.
The talk with Baekhyun last week helped a little, but Junmyeon struggles to figure out what he really wants in the end.
“Mr. Wu, everything alright with you?”
Junmyeon stares down at Jongin tugging on his pant leg in confusion until the boy’s expression changes to that of worry.
“Don’t worry, Jongin. I’m fine,” the teacher reassures him and squats down to be eye-level.
Jongin frowns at the response he is given and runs off for a moment to drag his friend Chanyeol over.
“Hey hyung, doesn’t he look grumpier than usual?” Jongin points at Junmyeon’s face.
The taller boy nods in agreement way too quickly, making Junmyeon think Chanyeol only wants to appease his dear friend.
“Like I said, I’m fine. You kids worry way too much about nothing. Please enjoy the rest of your playtime before we have to go back to the classroom.”
Jongin looks over at Chanyeol for a clue as to what to do next. His friend waves goodbye to their teacher as he drags the smaller boy away to go join some of their other classmates in a game of tag.
“Children are rather perceptive, don’t you think?”
Junmyeon jumps at the voice and calms his racing heart when he sees Kyungsoo appear at his side. “Dear god, you frightened me.”
The principal hums in response, taking a good look at all of the children laughing their asses off and making fools of themselves without fear of ridicule. Their ignorance to the cruel world around them is both a blessing and a curse.
“I hope that whatever is troubling you fades soon.”
“Me too.”
Junmyeon picks up Sehun after school as per usual and places the boy in his colorful baby walker, allowing him to move around the living room at his own pace. He chuckles as he watches Sehun slam against the coffee table and hears something fall to the floor. At first he thinks something has broken off of the walker, but it’s still intact after a thorough examination.
It was the white coin Yifan had tossed his way last week.
“Giving me a piece of garbage? I can’t believe that’s how little you think of me now.” The man pads over to the kitchen to throw the piece of plastic out, but he takes one last look at it first. The coin isn’t anything one could use at the supermarket, but instead it’s a chip with 1 month carved into its face. He doesn’t understand what it means until after a quick search on the internet.
Alcoholics Anonymous, Sobriety Coin
There’s no hesitation as Junmyeon dials up Yifan, having remembered the man’s number by heart the day they became friends. Two rings seem like a lifetime and when someone picks up on the other end of the line, he’s speechless.
“Hello?”
“...”
“If this is some prank call, don’t even try to call back.”
“Yifan, it’s me.”
“I know.”
“Then why’d you pretend to not know me?”
“Because I like messing with you.”
“Asshole.”
“I’m glad we’re back to using terms of endearment, sweetie pie.”
Junmyeon wishes so badly to kick Yifan in the crotch right now and takes a deep breath to calm himself down before asking about the chip he had been given. Since Yifan is Yifan, he only agrees to answer his questions under the condition they meet up somewhere outside of the house. Junmyeon is frustrated, but he doesn’t say no. Talking face-to-face would be much more productive anyway. Hopefully they don’t get into a spat out in public.
“Alright. I’ll have to beg Baekhyun to watch Sehun this Saturday then.”
“Why can’t you bring him? I want to see that boy again.”
“...”
“Okay, okay. Too soon.”
They agree to meet up at the park Junmyeon likes to take Sehun to and he waits on a bench by the lake with his hands clasped atop his lap. He’s anxious as hell and eager to hear what Yifan has to say. The days leading up to today had been hell because all he could think about was this stupid meeting and Jongin had noticed something was wrong once again. Lying to kids isn’t fun, especially ones as keen as Jongin.
“Hope I didn’t make you wait too long,” Yifan says, plopping down on the other side of the bench to give both parties the space they need.
“You know me, I like arriving early, so waiting a bit doesn’t kill me.” Junmyeon sneaks a peek at Yifan to see if his eyes were tricking him the other day. To no surprise of his own, Yifan looks put together and completely different from the mess that left their family a few months ago. He doesn’t reek of alcohol and there’s a bit of life behind those eyes.
“I’m not even going to ask how have you been then, since we both know I put you and Sehun through a rough patch. I have changed since that day though, as you can tell. I’m assuming that’s why we’re here now. If you didn’t think anything of the chip, you’d have moved to France already.”
Junmyeon opens up his hands to show Yifan that he had brought the chip with him and heaves a sigh. “You’re right… but why now? Why couldn’t you have sobered up when I fucking begged you to?”
There’s a pregnant pause. Yifan knew that this question was coming, but didn’t expect to go speechless. Whatever he has to say won’t make things better between them. After all, they’re excuses he told himself time and time again before the inevitable separation. Any good reasons as to why he never bothered to get himself clean when his family needed him the most don’t exist. He was an idiot, a drunken fool, and most of all, a coward back then.
He gathers the courage to tell Junmyeon that the alcohol helped chase away the fears and anxiety he had as a brand new father. The pressure and responsibility of taking care of an infant scared him to death. Instead of confiding in the person he loved most, he ran to bars for solace. It wasn’t the correct decision and he admits his wrongdoings and faults. When the situation back at home hit the roof after Junmyeon realized how terrible of a father Yifan was, he didn’t need to look back as he walked away. His husband and son were much better off without him.
It took him a few weeks to realize what a grave mistake he had made. The terrible company down at the bars he used to frequent showed him the life he was bound for if he didn’t change courses. The journey to sobriety wasn’t easy, of course. After his first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, he went straight back to drinking. It felt like downing liquid guilt.
“And that’s why I decided to get my act together. You don’t have to take me back, but at least let me see Sehun from time to time.”
Junmyeon can hear the sincerity in Yifan’s voice and it makes him want to just forget about the rift between them, welcoming his (ex) husband back with open arms. Sehun would be the happiest boy in the world having two loving parents in his life, but Junmyeon knows he has to proceed with caution.
“How about now?”
“What?” Yifan furrows his brows in confusion.
“How about I go pick up Sehun from Baekhyun’s place and we can take him out for ice cream?” So much for taking things slow.
“He’s not even a year old yet, but I’m pretty sure he’s pooped out by now anyway. His sleeping schedule hasn’t changed much, right?”
“Nope. Let’s get going before he decides to make a fuss.”
Baekhyun is less than pleased to see Yifan standing in his doorway and Junmyeon smiles apologetically as he explains everything to his friend. He shows his disapproval of the situation by wishing Junmyeon and Sehun a wonderful day, muttering what sounds to be a curse in Yifan’s direction.
“Baekhyun is still the same,” Yifan comments as he gathers Sehun in his arms, delighted to finally hold his baby boy again. His son has gotten heavier since he’s last held him, but that’s alright. It just saddens him a little that he missed out on a part of the boy’s life. Hopefully he’ll be able to make up for loss time starting today.
“He’ll warm up to you again, eventually,” Junmyeon says before running inside of the house to fetch the baby stroller and bag.
The ice cream parlor they stop by is quaint, the walls covered in pictures various of people enjoying themselves at the beach and furniture colored pastel pinks and yellows. Yifan makes Junmyeon sit down at a table, refusing to allow the other to pick up the tab. Junmyeon wants to protest because he wanted to have a say in his order, but Yifan tells him that everything will be alright.
When Yifan comes back with two scoops of strawberry ice cream on a sugar cone, everything really is alright.
“You remembered,” Junmyeon says and takes a huge bite without hesitation, not being able to resist. It’s been way too long since he’s had such a sweet treat.
“I remember everything about you. You always forget how prone you are to brain freeze until it’s too late,” Yifan snickers and takes his time with his own scoop of french vanilla bean.
Junmyeon groans moments later, clutching the back of his head with his free hand and trying his hardest not to crush the delicate ice cream cone. He keeps as quiet as possible as to not wake Sehun up. The boy has been asleep ever since they picked him up and no one wants that to change anytime soon.
“Slow and steady. No one is going to steal your food.” Yifan wears a shit-eating grin on his face.
“Yeah right. I distinctly remember you running off with my french fries back when we were finishing up college because you were hungry and late for class,” Junmyeon points out.
“I can’t believe you remembered one of my more embarrassing moments.” Yifan looks away in shame, ducking his head.
“I remember everything about you.” Junmyeon recycles his words and reaches over the table to pat the man on the shoulder.
Slowly letting Yifan back into their lives is a much easier transition than Junmyeon imagined. He had braced himself for the man to revert back to a drunken asshole, but Yifan has been nothing but kind and courteous. Baekhyun still doesn’t like Yifan for what he has done to Junmyeon and Sehun, but tolerates his presence from time to time for his friend’s sake.
For the first few months, Junmyeon, Yifan, and Sehun go out to various places around the city. One weekend they go to the beach and the next they go to the aquarium. The interaction between the three of them is easygoing, as if they’ve been the perfect family all this time. Sehun is obviously much more happy whenever Yifan is around and seems to grow clingier to him by the day. It’s a heartwarming sight for Junmyeon. Family time feels so peaceful, but Junmyeon forces himself to pull back a little before he’s in too deep. Once Yifan receives his five month sobriety chip, Junmyeon lets the man take their son on outings, just the two of them.
He uses his free time to relax, something he wouldn’t have been able to do before. It’s not like he didn’t enjoy spending almost every waking moment with his bundle of joy, but every now and then people need a break. Some days he finds himself yearning to go out to spend time with Yifan and Sehun. He never acts on the urge though because he wants to avoid looking desperate. Yifan doesn’t need to know that the walls Junmyeon has built around his heart are crumbling.
“Just ask him to fucking come back already. When he was gone, you were a wreck. Now that he’s sort of in your life again, you’re even worse off. I bet you think you’re so great at hiding your feelings, but as your best neighbor friend, I can see through the bullshit.”
Junmyeon wonders why he thought coming over to Baekhyun’s house was a good idea, but then he remembers that he was lonely and needed some companionship in any form. He didn’t mean for this visit to turn into a therapy session.
“If you can tell… does that mean he can as well?” he asks, worried that Yifan can see how pathetic he is.
“Of course! He’s just a dumbass like you, unwilling to make the first move. I will never understand how you two even got to talking in the first place.” Baekhyun throws his hands up in the air and excuses himself for a moment to grab a drink. The clock in the living room reads two, but his friend doesn’t believe it’s ever too early to get a little wasted.
“I made a stupid joke and he laughed,” Junmyeon shares. Whenever he’s feeling down, he always thinks about that moment because it was the first time he ever saw Yifan smile so widely, the image forever engraved in his memory.
“You two are so weird. No wonder you got married. Now get back out there and get some ass tonight! I’ll even babysit Sehun. Zitao has been missing the brat, anyway,” Baekhyun shouts from the kitchen.
“I’m not sure if that’s such a good idea… How about next year? I heard it’s going to be beautiful and -”
“I already told Yifan you wanted to have him over for dinner without the kid, so you can’t back out now unless you want to starve the poor man to death by cancelling,” Baekhyun taunts on his way back to the couch.
Junmyeon thinks Baekhyun is a sly dick, but is kind of grateful for the set up.
It’s been quite awhile since Junmyeon has gotten dressed for anything, the last time being his civil ceremony with Yifan. He has no clue what to wear or how to do his hair. It’s aggravating that he’s making a big deal out of nothing, but is it really nothing when he’s trying to get his man back? Looking like an idiot won’t win anyone over.
Thankfully he had already made lasagna a little ahead of time to give him more time to figure out how to put himself together. Nothing seems to match as he scans his options he’s laid out on the bed. Every attempt at trying to look decent is futile. In the end, he picks out a plain white button up and black slacks. Hopefully Yifan doesn’t think he’s being lazy.
The butterflies in his stomach are getting out of control when he hears a knock on the front door and inhales sharply upon laying eyes on Yifan who is sporting a similar outfit as himself, but looking one hundred times better.
“I don’t think you’re being lazy at all!” Junmyeon blurts outs. He mentally slaps himself for the idiocy.
Yifan sniggers and chucks Junmyeon under the chin. “I was going to say the same exact thing. So don’t worry too much.”
Junmyeon’s face flushes and he turns his back to Yifan, gesturing for the man to follow him towards the kitchen. Not even two minutes into their evening and he has already made of a fool of himself. The worse part is the fact that Yifan’s enjoying his pain.
“Just so we’re clear, you’re not allowed to point out my dumbness throughout the night because I’m trying to -” Junmyeon stops in his tracks and turns around to face Yifan which turns out to be a bad idea because he’s met with a faceful of chest.
“You’re trying to what? I didn’t catch that last part,” Yifan teases.
“N-nothing, you ass,” Junmyeon mutters and makes a move to step back, but a strong arm snakes around his waist, trapping him in place.
“What do you think you’re doing? The lasagna will get cold if we don’t-”
Yet again Junmyeon is cut off mid sentence, this time by a pair of lips pressed to his own. He doesn’t bother to protest as he settles into the kiss, placing a hand behind Yifan’s neck to bring him in closer. It’s been a long time coming, so when Yifan pulls away, Junmyeon digs his nails into the tender flesh of his neck and forces the man back down.
“Jun, as much as I’d love to fuck you here,” his husband pants out between gulps of air, “I think we should move somewhere that’d be more comfortable for you.”
Junmyeon tugs on Yifan’s lower lip roughly with his teeth out of spite before running his tongue over to soothe the pain. He could care less about where they fucked, he just needed Yifan badly and dragged him over to the couch where he pushed Yifan down, straddling his hips. Without a moment’s hesitation, they continue to get reaquainted with each other’s mouths, tongues brushing against one another deliciously.
Hands are all over the place as they explore each other’s bodies as if this was their first time. Junmyeon pops open the top few buttons of Yifan’s shirt and pulls the thin fabric back enough to reveal the smooth, broad planes of the man’s chest. He knows there’s more time down the line to look and jumps straight to leaving marks all along his lover’s neck, clavicles, and chest.
Yifan has one hand secured to Junmyeon’s hips and the other teasing him through the front of his pants, chuckling softly whenever the other ruts against his hand. It’s heartwarming and a total turn on to see how fast he can get Junmyeon begging for more through his movements.
Junmyeon can’t wait much longer with Yifan palming his erection straining in his pants and slaps the hand away, climbing off the man’s lap to shimmy out of his pants and boxers.
“You too. Now,” he commands, groaning the next second when Yifan plays around with his belt buckle as if it were a toy. He helps his husband out, but only pulls his pants down just enough to free his cock and sits back down in his rightful place.
Junmyeon is hot all over just knowing how turned on Yifan is and reaches between their bodies to fist his lover’s weeping cock, loving how heavy and solid it feels in his hand. Yifan returns the favor, but is a total tease about it as he pumps Junmyeon with a loose grip, the lack of delicious friction killing him. It frustrates Junmyeon to no end and he uses his free hand twist Yifan’s nipple.
“Ah baby, you know how much I love a little pain,” his husband hisses through his teeth and gives Junmyeon’s cock a squeeze, smearing the precum pearling at the tip to make the glide easier as he resumes pumping him at a more satisfying pace. Junmyeon kisses Yifan on the corner of his mouth as a silent apology.
They continue fisting each other as Yifan leaves a couple marks of his own along Junmyeon’s shoulder, biting down hard when the familiar pressure builds up quickly in the pit of his stomach and paints their stomachs with a pretty white. Junmyeon is soon to follow after a couple more strokes of his cock, spilling all over Yifan’s hand and adding onto their sticky masterpiece.
Their dinner is long forgotten as Junmyeon leans forward to slot their lips together for a heated kiss, demanding for another round. Yifan can’t deny his husband anything.
“Mr. Wu, you look really happy today. I like it when you smile,” Jongin comments as the children line up to be lead outside for recess.
Junmyeon has been all smiles ever since Yifan came over. After they had cleaned up and dressed, he didn’t skip a beat when asking his husband to move back into the house. Of course, Yifan said yes and they tried to make love once again in the kitchen, but were interrupted by a weary Baekhyun holding Sehun. They didn’t realize how late it was in the night and apologized profusely to their neighbor and child.
Their family feels complete again with all three members living under the same roof. Sehun is a joyous baby who demands more attention than ever from his both baba and appa. They don’t mind showering the boy with attention and love. Whenever their son is asleep, they cherish the quiet and remind each other how much they are loved.
Yifan still goes to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings to ensure he gets continued support for his problem and each new chip he gets for staying sober for a certain amount of time helps them remember that they (as a couple) can get through tough times with enough patience and effort. No matter what new pitfalls lie ahead, they’re ready to take them on together as long as the line of communication between them is open.
“Aw, thank you Jongin. You look really happy yourself.” Junmyeon looks down at Jongin’s fingers tightly wrapped around Chanyeol’s wrist.
“Yeah! Me and Yeol are going on a playdate,” Jongin says with enthusiasm and beams at his friend.
“That’s great to hear. Will you be going to his house or will he be going to yours?”
“No, not like that! We’re going on a play date out in the yard. I’m going to be the girlfriend and hyung will be the boyfriend,” Jongin corrects his teacher. Chanyeol’s face visibly reddens and he hides behind his friend in embarrassment.
“Oh!”