[FOR KHRYSALLIS1106] Let Go of Time [1/2]
Title: Let Go of Time
For: khrysallis1106
Rating: R (for mentions of sex)
Length: 15,161
Author's notes: First, I hope khrysallis1106 enjoys the fic! I tried my best and I really hope it meets your expectations.
Second, I don't want to get into it to much with out spoiling, but I feel that this needs to be said before you read the fic. It is important to follow your dreams, and if you put time and dedication and know it won't be easy at all and you're willing to deal with the financial struggle, then props to you. You're very brave for doing so. However, if you don't follow your dreams you aren't a failure for not doing so. Not following your dreams and settling for something else is just as brave too. If you're happy with where you are at then that's all that matters.
Summary: Both Lu Han and Kris had similar dreams, they just ended up taking the opposite route when pursing them.
Kris groans as he struggles to push himself off the bed before giving up and letting himself fall back once again. The warmth of his blankets is inviting and he is putting a lot of effort in staying awake. Kris knows the air will be freezing once he leaves his blankets, he’s not sure he’s ready to face it.
Just five more minutes he thinks. Just five more minutes. Getting out of bed is already a hassle, but having to get out of bed to face the cold winter weather of New York city and go to his tedious desk job on a Monday makes everything ten times worse.
But he knows that there is always traffic in New York City and if he doesn’t get up now he might not make it to work on time.
He let his legs slide off the side of the bed, already feeling the cold air against his warm skin, he shivers and pushes himself up into a sitting position. Kris sits there hoping the cold air would be enough to wake him up completely, shivers continuing to run down his spine.
Kris hates the colder days, especially when he’s tired. It makes him sadder and he can already feel it in the back of his mind.
He stares blankly at the clock on his nightstand, eyes still half lidded with sleep. It reads six seventeen in a bright glaring red color that lights up a small part of his nightstand, standing out in the dark room, the only other small amount of light was coming through the curtains.
Kris moves to turn on the lamp on the nightstand. It made the room look infinitely warmer and less miserable. He pushes himself off the bed, and goes to get ready for the day.
It’s usually the same routine from Monday to Friday.
He goes to his kitchen to make himself some breakfast, opting today for a fried egg on a piece of toast, and maybe avocado if he’s up for it. Kris grabs a pan and sets it on the stove and turns it on. While he waits he grabs some oil so the eggs won’t stick and two eggs. The eggs sizzle the moment they hit the pan and Kris just stares at it blankly. No other thoughts going through his mind other than making sure not to burn his breakfast.
Kris grabs the bread from the toaster, places it on his plate and then puts the eggs on the toast (he decided to skip the avocado). He walks over to his small dining table, already eating his breakfast and getting crumbs all over the place. Not that Kris can really bring himself to care.
He sits in the seat where he left laptop from last night and turns it on to catch up on the news. Kris sees the regular articles about mindless things and the over exaggerated “Breaking News” articles (which Kris has come to find out that most of these articles aren’t even all that important).
Kris reads the news to stay updated on local, national and global news. But some days its just to take his mind off things. It’s days like today where if he sits eating breakfast with nothing to do his mind will start wandering and he’ll begin to over think situations.
Through the years he’s learn how to repress these thoughts quite well. But every once in a while the “what ifs” and “maybe” scenarios start running in his mind once again. Kris tries to avoid having those thoughts and usually sets for not thinking about anything at all. He isn’t entirely unsatisfied with his life afterall.
By the time he’s finished breakfast and saved some news articles for later its six forty five. Kris puts the plate in the sink, chugs a glass of water, and goes back to his bedroom and into the joint bathroom to brush his teeth. Then Kris gets into the shower.
After his shower he wraps a towel around his waist and proceeds to his sink where he begins to slather on serums and toners for various things he can’t keep track of them all. Kris thinks that a long time ago he use to value and care about a lot of stuff. Somewhere after high school he’s forgotten them. Now one of the few things he cares about is his appearance and continuing to look good.
Kris frowns at himself, disgusted with his own thoughts and settles for keeping his mind blank for the rest of the morning.
For today’s outfit Kris decides to go with the classic black suit, white shirt, and adorned it with a light green tie. He checks his hair and makes sure there isn’t a strand out of place before heading out of his apartment, peacoat swung over his forearm and briefcase in hand. Kris double checks that the door is locked before making his way out of the building.
When he arrives to the subway he barely makes the eight fifteen train. The ride to work is long, as usual. Today he decided to take the subway to work rather than deal with the usual traffic jams that happened this early in the morning. Most days he takes the train anyway.
Once he’s reaches his stop he walks two blocks down where all the nice office buildings are. He was lucky to be able to score such a nice job with a great pay fresh out of college at S.M Cosmetics. Of course that would have to do with his dad having a few connections, but even with his dad pulling a few strings he is still lucky have gotten the job.
His parents sure are proud. Kris feels a bitter taste in the back of his mouth at the thought and he quickly pushes it down. Trying to focus on what he has to get done today and that if it wasn’t for his skill in this field he wouldn’t have stayed with this company for four years without getting fired.
Kris swipes his card to enter the building and waits for the elevator. He arrives on the floor he works. Nods at the receptionist who says hello to him like she does every morning. Kris nods and smiles to everyone who says hello to him on autopilot. The smile never reaching his eyes.
Kris rushes to the marketing department and almost regrets not taking his time. His groups deadline for their marketing proposal for new EXO line that will be released in mid April is almost due. They have time, but since the company wants to make this their biggest line yet they’re put under double the pressure. Kris wishes he was back in his blankets.
All the walls are white with minimal art pieces varying in shape and size scattered throughout the walls. Kris’s favorite is one a cloud with vibrant hues of blue, orange, yellow and red. The wall straight ahead from the entrance is just large windows.
There are a couple of desks put together where himself and his co-workers sit with their team. Kris heads over to his desk where Joonmyun and Zitao already are.
Zitao is the first one to notice him, straightening to give him a cute smile. “Hey, good morning!”
“Hey” Kris responds, feeling the smile he gives Zitao being a bit more genuine than the others he’s given. Kris isn’t close, and probably not friends, with his team mates but he likes them well enough. They all get along and thats hard to find in big business corporations like this.
Joonmyun looks up from his desk next to Zitao and chirps a “Good morning.” of his own. Kris responds with a smile.
“Sehun’s not here yet?” Kris asks as he takes his seat across Joonmyun and turns on his computer.
“He is.” Zitao says, still giving him a sunny smile. “He just got up to get some coffee when you walked in.” Kris nods and asks Joonmyun how far he thinks they are. Joonmyun is just beginning to answer Kris’ question when Sehun slides into his seat next to him and nods in his direction.
“I think we’ve done our research well and as far as I’m aware we all have our documentation almost done?” Joonmyun looks around for confirmation and smiles when Kris, Zitao and Sehun nod and grunt in agreement. “We should be ready to go by Thursday.”
“Thank God.” Sehun says and Zitao nods in agreement, both slumping in his chair. Kris can’t help but agree.
The rest of the day goes by slowly as they continue to finish up their reports and ask their fellow co-workers what they have found in their research. With the release of new line in the next two months everyone has been staying until seven or eight rather than their usual five p.m. Kris just wants this goddam line to launch already. Right now they aren’t staying too late, but once the deadline starts creeping in he’ll probably end up living most of the time in the office or at Joonmyun’s apartment with Sehun and Tao trying to finish up the last bit.
When seven rolls around Kris all but hops from his chair in glee. Earning a chuckle from his team members. Kris doesn’t let it dampen his mood. He can already feel the gloominess from this morning starting to go away, letting a full smile fall on his face.
He packs up his things and waits for Sehun, Joonmyun and Zitao to finish. They talk about small things. Joonmyun talks about the girl he is currently dating and that now he’s thinking about having a serious relationship with her.
“I’m happy for you.” Sehun say with that cute kid smile of his. He turns to Kris asks “When are you going to get in a relationship? Aren’t you getting a bit old?” Zitao stops packing up to look up at Kris while Joonmyun just continues to pack up the rest of his things.
“I don’t have time for a relationship.”
Sehun gives him an unimpressed look. “Try better, Kris. I’m sure you could have come up with a more fitting excuse. You should look for one. It could cheer you up.”
Now it’s Kris’ turn to give Sehun an unimpressed look. “That is a terrible reason to get in a relationship. You should take your own advice though, get that stoic look off your face.” Kris grins. He can see Sehun stoic face growing indignant and Kris waits for him to respond with a “Look who’s talking” when Joonmyun and Tao say that they’re ready to head out.
They make their way out of their department and to the elevators. Kris just listens and laughs at whatever the others say.
“See you guys tomorrow!” says Zitao, giving Kris a warm smile before walking off.
Suho and Sehun follow with a “See ya!”.
Kris nods and waves at them with a small smile on his face and makes his way to metro to go home.
Tuesday and Wednesday go by in a blink of an eye for Kris. All he remembers is that they managed to finish the documentation by nine pm and Kris couldn’t be more thankful.
“See, I told you we’d be ready to go by Thursday.” Joonmyun tells him while they wait in line. Joonmyun asked if they could go to the coffee shop a couple of block from where they work.
Kris was planning on just going home and catching up on sleep when Joonmyun offered him a ride home. Kris usually declines hang out with his teammates outside of work so he’s pretty sure Joonmyun took giving Kris a ride home as an excuse to hang out. Joonmyun has always believed that they should socialize as friends outside of work to bond and build trust. It wasn’t like Kris could say no anyway since it was Joonmyun who was driving.
“Yeah, you just failed to mention we’d have to work all of Tuesday and Wednesday to finish it.” Kris feels like he should try to smile a bit to show he’s teasing him, but he can’t bring himself to it. He doesn’t even think he’s joking.
Joonmyun looks a little guilty. “Sorry.” His apology sounds so genuine that Kris almost feels bad, almost. “I guess we weren’t as ahead as I thought.” A small, sly, smile grew on Joonmyun’s face, patting Kris’ arm. “But for the next project you’ll be the team leader and I’m sure we’ll finish on ahead of schedule this time! You’ll know exactly how long it will take us.”
Kris groans at the thought, the little bit of energy he has draining already. “Don’t remind me. I don’t know why I let you talk me into switching the role of team leader between the two of us.” Kris glares at the last thing Joonmyun said. “And I’m not psychic.”
“Neither am I.”
Kris just squints at him. Since when did Joonmyun decide to be a smartass? He was never like that at work.
When he gets home, thanking Joonmyun for the ride, he goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face. Kris rolls his shoulders and gently moves his head from side to side hoping it will help him relax. He changes into pajamas and goes to bed early, he deserves it.
Thursday went smoothly, the higher ups being happy with what the teams came up with as a whole. The company is still not anywhere near done, but at least his can relax for a little while.
On Friday morning Kris feels cheerful, something he hasn’t been in weeks. One step closer to the end of the project has really lifted his spirits. Now its just a matter of tying the final strings together.
To celebrate Kris feels decides to treat himself to something for getting through it. Instead of having breakfast at home he walks into one of the coffee shops on his way to the metro. That’s one thing Kris loves about New York City. There are tons of little coffee shops tucked away in alleyways and corners.
Kris decides to go to the first one his sees on his way to work. The shop Bella’s Bru has been around for a year or two, but he’s only been there once or twice. Those times being when it first opened. He doesn’t remember if its good or not.
When he walks in it's a relief that there aren’t that many people in line. Kris waits patiently, admiring the copper details on the columns and some of the arches. It has an interesting renaissance feel but with a modern twist. The tables and booth are a bit simpler than the walls however. Just the typical wooden tables and chairs.
Once it’s Kris turn he smiles warmly at the cashier but doesn’t really look at him, staring at the menu instead. “I’ll have a small Americano and a fruit bowl.”
“To go?”
Kris looks at his watch. He has some time, but he’d rather not push. “Yeah.” This time when he smiles he looks at the cashier in the eyes. The man looks incredibly young and has nice sparkly eyes. He’s cute , Kris thinks, and he finds his smile grow into a full grin towards the cashier.
“Okay, I’ll have Minseok and our chef start the order. That will be eight seventy five.”
Kris gives him a ten dollar bill. The cashier smiles and as he returns Kris’ change he says “Thank you! Have a nice day.”
Kris moves to wait by the area where there is a small chalk board sign thats says Pick Up in really fancy handwriting.
His order doesn’t take to long and when he has his order he thanks the barista and heads off to work.
Arriving at work Kris realizes he is earlier than usual and has roughly fifteen to twenty minutes before the day actually starts. Joonmyun and a few other co-workers are already there as well. Joonmyun smiles when he sees him and waves. “Hey!”
“Hey.” Kris says as he puts his coffee and fruit bowl down on his desk. Kris takes off his blazer and drapes it on the back of his seat. “Are you always here this early?” He sits down and starts to roll his sleeves up.
“Usually. I just go over things again and see how everything is going.”
Kris hums and starts to eat his fruit thoughtfully. He wonders what he can do over the weekend, maybe he can watch some movies at home or go to some of the art galleries around the city. He’s sure a few photographers are having a show coming up. Maybe he’ll attend one of those after all.
He sighs at that thought, looking outside the large windows behind Joonmyun. When he was young he read about amazing artists and photographers, it was one of his many dreams.
First he wanted to be an artist, but he realized soon that his art would never improve beyond a five year olds. In middle school and the first half of high school he wanted to be a basketball player, but due to an injury that dream die too. Kris probably hit one of his lowest moments then.
He was crushed and to pass the time he began reading magazines and looking up artwork. But one artist that really caught his attention was Jerry Uelsmann.
Uelsmann’s photography was straight out of a dream. Kris was fascinated with the way he created his photomontages. Everything that would be created today in photoshop he did by hand in his lab. Cutting off images in certain parts with enlargers. Kris wanted to do something like that too. Wanted to take photos to capture a moment. Maybe he would create photomontages like Uelsmann does, but he wanted to capture the world in a different way.
“Why are you here early?” Kris is pulled out of his riverine and looks up to see Joonmyun’s questioning look.
“I decided to get breakfast out today.” Kris says motioning at his half eating fruit and coffee “I ended up having a lot more time than usual. If I had known I would have slept a bit more.” Kris adds the last sentence longingly, wishing he did get more sleep.
Joonmyun laughs “I guess seeing you at work this early in the morning won’t become a norm.” It isn’t a question.
The faces Kris makes at the thought of getting to work earlier has Joonmyun laughing harder. “No way. I value every bit of sleep I can get my hands on. And I have to recover because we had to sacrifice sleep in order to finish our reports.” Kris says as he gives Joonmyun a speaking glance.
“Let that go already” Joonmyun rolls his eyes. “Its done, no need to remember what was.”
“Tell that to my eye bags.” Kris mutters under his breath.
Work goes by slower today. Sehun and Tao talking and bickering at each other the entire time. It’s only when Joonmyun tells them to get back to work that they start being productive. Of course this only lasts for half an hour or so before they start talking again. Kris just hides his grin behind his hand as he looks at Joonmyun’s faces of irritation and despair.
“We should all hang out this weekend! A friend of mine recently got a job at a bar not to far from here.” Zitao says with a hopeful smile on his face.
“I’ll go!” Sehun agrees immediately. Kris can feel his peaceful weekend start to slip through his fingers. He gives Joonmyun a hopeful look. Please say no. Please.
But instead of listening to his plea Joonmyun says “I will too.” and looks expectantly at Kris “You’ll join us too, Kris, right? It’s a good opportunity for us to get to know each other more, bond as a team! Its important to keep this good work environment.” He smiles at Kris encouragingly.
Dammit. Joonmyun knew he was going to try to decline the offer. Kris sighs in defeat. He doesn’t really have much of a choice anymore, and Zitao is giving him that cute puppy look. “Yeah, I’ll be there.” he says rather begrudgingly.
Zitao smile blooms into a full grin, making him look like the young kid he is. It reminds Kris that both Zitao and Sehun are in this company also because they knew the right people, not because of experience. The only one in their team who go into S.M Cosmetics on their own is Joonmyun. Kris also had the right connections, but he also scored a few nice internships before he graduated.
“Great! I’ll text you guys the address. Is tomorrow at seven p.m okay?”
Everyone agrees that they can meet at that time and they all make their way out of the building and head home.
Kris wakes up in flunk Saturday morning. He gets up at six am out of habit and he tries his absolute best not to fall back asleep to keep up with his routine.
When he gets out of bed Kris takes the blanket with him, holding it tight against his body. He walks lazily down the hall in the dark, trying not run into something a hurt himself. Having his eyes open is a struggle and since Kris still isn’t fully awake yet he keeps bumping against the wall.
Kris pauses when he knocks down a picture frame on the wall. He picks it up and walks over to the kitchen where he finally turns the light on. When Kris looks that the picture is one of his parents he frowns. He knows that blaming his parents won’t change anything.
He sets the photo on the counter and decides to just serve himself a bowl of granola. He’s too lazy to make anything nice for himself today.
Sacrificing his warmth for a moment, Kris drops his blanket to the floor to put his bowl down on the coffee table and hurries to put the heater on. He can hear it kick in and rushes back to the kitchen to grab his blanket again.
He makes himself comfortable on the couch and turns on the t.v. Kris watches the morning news as he eats. A lot of it being silly stuff the newscast does between breaks to fill in the time, he eventually get bored and changes it to some channel that is play cartoon reruns.
Kris feels like a little kid again as he watches cartoons without a care in the world. Of course he doesn’t let that feeling sink in too deep. Kris doesn’t want to remember his parents always secretly wanting him to go the business world. Slowly pressuring him to major in it in college.
Eventually Kris did it because he grew afraid. Afraid to fight for his dream of pursuing photography when it was unstable. Luckily he was able to convince his parents of letting him minor in it instead, but he hasn’t put any of it into practice. Kris doesn’t see the point anymore.
Kris lets out an audible sigh as he slouches on the couch lazily, looking up at the ceiling. He lets his eyes slip close, just for a moment , he thinks.
When Kris opens his eyes its noon. He grunts, standing up and turning off the heater for a bit. Kris goes back to his room to grab his phone. As he is walking back to the kitchen he sees that Zitao texted him the address of the bar their suppose to meet up tonight.
“Ugh.” he grunts loudly even though no one can hear him. It totally slipped his mind that he had plans today. Kris contemplates lying, saying something came up last minute. However Zitao and Joonmyun would probably be able to see through that. Besides, if he goes this time he can say no the next time one of them invites him out.
Kris arrives to the bar five minutes before the original meeting time. The bar Night's Blue has been in business since before Kris could remember. It was a local favorite and Kris had been here a few times while he was in college. Open mic nights were his personal favorite, seeing poets, singers and musicians get a moment to shine even if its just for a little while .
He feels happy to have decided to come after all, taking the opportunity to dress himself up. Kris decided to wear a pair of dark, tight skinny jeans that hug his legs nicely, a plain white v-neck and a black blazer with a modern cut.
The staff ask for his I.D and Kris digs into wallet to pull it out. They let him enter and Kris can hear the old wooden floor under his feet creak a little as he makes his way towards the bar. You can tell this place has been here for a long time. Everything has an “old and used” vibe, except for the bar which is probably the only thing that has been renovated in who knows how long.
Lighting is kept at a minimal, probably to set a mood or atmosphere. There is a stage for the performances and then a small area for dancing. The rest is filled with a few tables and booths.
Zitao is already there, in extremely stylish clothing, leaning against the bar while he talks to the person tending to it.
Kris says “Sup, Zitao” as he sits in the stool next to where Zitao is.
“Hey.” Zitao smirks. “You’re acting cool, are you here to make an impression? Or is the atmosphere getting to your head?” he gives Kris a shiteating grin. Kris rolls his eyes, not trying to hide it.
“I’m always cool.” Zitao shakes his head in disapproval, Kris ignores it “Besides look at you, dressed your best and hitting on the bar tender.”
Zitao cringes. “I’m not hitting on the bar tender, this is my friend, Minseok. He’s the friend I said recently started working here.”
“Nice to meet you” Kris says as he extends his hand for Minseok to shake.
“Nice to meet you too.” Minseok gives him a cute little smile.
Zitao takes the stool next to him. “Can you give me a whisky, Minseok?” Minseok hands it to him with a smile.
“Getting to the hard stuff already?”
“Beer is gross, Minseok. You know that.”
Minseok laughs “You’re such a rich kid.” he says before walking away to attend the customers that just arrived.
Sehun and Joonmyun arrive almost half an hour later. “Sorry, Sehun made me give him a ride.” Joonmyun says.
“Don’t you have a car, Sehun?” Zitao asks.
Sehun shrugs “I didn’t feel like driving.” Zitao rolls his eyes and Sehun mimics him, except he makes his expression uglier than Zitao’s.
They talk at the bar sipping at their drinks. Kris mostly just listens to them, smiling and laughing (mostly at Sehun and Zitao). He ends up talking just to Joonmyun after Zitao and Sehun had too much to drink. The two of them leaning against each other and whispering. It looks like Joonmyun and him will be the ones to reach tipsy at most.
Joonmyun brings Minseok in the conversation when he’s waiting for more orders.
“What’s the stage for? That area seems to be empty.” Joonmyun asks Minseok.
“Saturday and Thursday are Open Mic night here. On Friday this place is sort of like a club for young adults.”
“Can anyone perform?”
Kris laughs, “Do you want to go up there and sing? Steal the show with expressive, and passionate, faces”
“Why are you guys like this?” Joonmyun pouts.
Minseok’s smiling as he watches the two converse. “Anyone can go up there and sing. The management is nice enough to let employee’s perform when they’re on break too. Two friends of mine who work here usually perform together.”
The stage light turns on and the majority of the people go quiet. One of the employees walks up the stage. “Hello everyone! Thank you for coming to Night Blue’s Open Mic night! Lets give it up for our participates and enjoy the show!” The employee walks off the stage and the first act goes to prepare the stage.
The performances are good, you could tell that every performer put effort into their piece beforehand. Kris wonders if any of them were regulars.
Kris was the only one in their group that was really watching. Zitao and Sehun still talking to each other, lost in their own world. Joonmyun was making conversation with some of the people who went to order drinks and the other bartender that started working with Minseok half way in the show.
He starts to drop in on Joonmyun’s conversation and hears Minseok say “Those are my friends who are about to perform.The singer is Lu Han and the guitar player is Yixing.” Kris turns to see who they are.
The guitar player is wearing a plaid shirt and jeans. The singer is wearing a blue solid color v-neck and some distressed jeans. What Kris can’t get over is that he is wearing a hideous fedora. Kris almost wants to go up stage and smack it off his head.
He can hear Zitao say “Ugh, that guy has terrible taste, it’s not even a nice fedora.” Glad to hear someone else agrees with him.
But the more Kris looks at the singer the more familiar he becomes. Maybe he’s seen him a couple of times around the city.
The singer, Lu Han, he reminds himself, grabs one of the microphones and takes a deep breath before bring it closer to his mouth.
“Hello everyone, as most of you probably already know I’m Lu Han and this is Yixing. Tonight we decided to perform the popular indie pop song Riptide by Vance Joy.” Lu Han puts the microphone back in the stand next to his seat.
Both take a minute to compose themselves before beginning their performance. Kris watches patiently, paying attention the the way the lights cast shadows on their faces. Especially the shadows from the hat on Lu Han’s face.
Yixing starts to strum the guitar and the majority of the bar goes quiet. Kris recognizes the song from the radio and the internet. He likes it, and is happy is made it mainstream. When Lu Han starts to sing he’s taken slightly back. The way he sings the song gives it a different feeling, makes it sounds sadder than what it is with his soft feather voice and the slow way he sings.
Lu Han stares at a spot towards the edge of the stage as he sings, but as the song progresses he begins to look up at the audience, and Kris can tell he’s getting into the moment. Kris thinks Lu Han looks so happy and free up on stage. It creates an ugly feeling in his chest he can’t identify, but also makes him admire Lu Han.
As Kris looks at him sing the feeling won’t go away, and then he realizes what emotion it is. He’s jealous. Kris has never been jealous of someone before, he feels disgusting. Pull yourself together.
Usually Kris would try to reason with himself why he feels a certain way, but for now he chooses to repress it and just enjoy the happiness on Lu Han’s face, how the song starts to go more upbeat. Kris laughs a little bit because its completely different from how he started the song.
When Lu Han finishes Kris claps enthusiastically along with most of the audience. For a moment it seems like Lu Han notices him, staring at Kris from across the room. Kris feels his heart skip a beat.
Both Yixing and Lu Han say thank you and walk off the stage so the next act can go up.
Kris is considering saying something to Lu Han. Something simple that could be taken as flirting or a compliment, or both.
“You’re friends are good.” Joonmyun says to Minseok, Kris had forgotten Joonmyun was next to him.
“Thanks.” says a voice from behind them. Kris turns to see that it’s Lu Han, minus the hat thankfully, smiling.
Any compliment Kris wanted to give dies in his throat. Lu Han is even more attractive up close, and now that he Lu Han right in front of him he can’t find the courage he had a while ago.
Lu Han turns to Kris, still smiling and Kris stutters a bit “Yeah- you - You were great.” Idiot. You should've kept your mouth shut. Lu Han smile turns into a grin and Kris can feel his cheeks go a bit pink. He hopes the lighting under the bar is almost or just as the dim as the rest of the place.
“Thanks, I’m glad you liked it.” Lu Han looks at him for a bit longer and then turns to Minseok. “I have the rest of the night off, can you get me a beer?”
Minseok goes to get one, giving Lu Han a stern look when he hands it to him. “I’m not letting you drink too much. We have work tomorrow, remember.”
Lu Han rolls his eyes slightly. “We have work everyday. It impossible for me to forget.” Lu Han takes the beer from Minseok, “Yixing went home already, I’ll be sitting over by one of the small booths in the corner.” Minseok nods and walks off.
Kris eyes follow Lu Han until he sits down. “You like him.” he hears Joonmyun say amazed. “I was starting to think you were a-romantic or something. You never showed interest in anyone before.”
“I’ve been in relationships before. You guys just don’t know about them.”
“Which is why you should hang out with us more instead of declining all the time. So next time we hang out it’ll be at this bar on a Saturday, that way you can’t say no.”
“What makes you think I’ll agree to come?” Kris tries to say smoothly. It fails because Joonmyun is trying to hold back his smile. Kris snorts
“Go talk to him, I’ll make sure Zitao and Sehun don’t do something they’ll regret later on.”
Kris walks over with a false bravado he can’t even bring himself to believe for his own comfort. “Is it alright if I sit here?”
Lu Han looks up at him and nods gesturing to the side in front of him. Kris takes the seat with a sigh of relief.
“How long have you been singing here? You said that most people here probably already knew you.” Kris asks coolly to his surprise.
Lu Han turns away from the performance to look at Kris. “Maybe two or three years? Ever since I started working here basically.”
“What was your previous job?” Kris asks, wondering if Lu Han was the type to go from job to job.
“I worked at bank doing finances.”
Kris frowns “What happened?” he thinks it might be to personal and is about to take it back when Lu Han laughs.
“Well, you sure are nosey with strangers.”. Kris opens his mouth to apologize, but Lu Han waves it off, giggling.
“It’s okay, I’m just teasing. I quit because I wasn’t happy. One day at work I realized that I wished I had pursued the dreams I had when I was a kid. Becoming a soccer player now isn’t likely, but I can still sing.”
“Wow.” Kris would have never done that, but maybe he doesn’t hate his job as much as Lu Han hated his. It isn’t his top choice, but he’s good at what he does and he has Joonmyun, Zitao and Sehun at work with him. “Did you hate your job that much?”
Lu Han shrugs “I don’t think that matters, I wasn’t following my dreams so I decided to pursue it.” Lu Han leans forward and gives Kris, what Kris thinks is, a flirty smile. “What do you do for a living? You are dressed to nicely, I bet you have a fancy job.”
Kris leans forward slightly, trying to act as cool as possible “You don’t have to make a lot of money to dress well, but I work for S.M Cosmetics in the marketing department.”
Lu Han whistles. “Sounds fancy.”
Kris grins and asks “What have you done since you quit your job?”
From there the conversation runs smoothly, Lu Han telling Kris about working multiple jobs and finding his best friend Minseok whom he currently shares an apartment with. Kris mentions a few things about his work, how he got his job and the places he’s been to thanks to it.
“Hey were leaving, I got Sehun and Zitao in the car already. Do you want me to give you a ride home?” Joonmyun asks.
Kris looks up at Joonmyun then at his watch, it’s almost one am. He completely lost track of time. “Yeah that’ll be nice. Do you want me to drive? How much did you have to drink?”
“Not much, probably way less than you.” Joonmyun points at the other two beers Kris ordered while he was talking with Lu Han.
Kris gets up from his seat. “Lets go then.” He sees Lu Han get up too, Kris smiles at him.
“I’ll see you around?” Lu Han asks, and Kris nods immediately.
“Yeah, see you around.”
Kris is at Bella’s Bru again the next morning. Unfortunately since it’s Sunday the line is a lot longer. When Kris gets to the front of the line his eyes widen. Lu Han is the one working the cashier.
Lu Han chuckles, “Good morning, what can I get started for you.”
“You weren’t joking when you said ‘see you around’.”
“I thought I’d just see you at the next open mic night, but I should have thought that I would probably see you here first since you’ve been coming in a lot more.”
Kris feels pleased that Lu Han noticed him before. He smiling when he gives him his order, an americano and an almond croissant.
When Kris picks up his order he notices a phone number written on his coffee cup and he turns to look at Lu Han. It takes a moment for Lu Han to catch Kris’ gaze, but he winks at Kris when he does.
He waits a while before texting Lu Han his number and gets a response at noon when Lu Han is off work.
They text for the remainder of the day. Kris smiling goofy at his phone whenever Lu Han responds. He’s never felt this at ease with anyone before.
He feels an interesting connection with the other.
During his lunch break at work on Monday Kris receives a text from Lu Han. Kris face breaks into that stupid gummy smile of his, but he can’t help it. He’s so happy to hear from Lu Han already.
“Oooooo” he hears Tao say looking at him teasingly. “Who are you talking to, Kris? Is it a special someone?” Next to him, Sehun breaks into a fit of giggles.
“Is it the singer from the bar? What was his name again? Lu Han?” Joonmyun asks.
Sehun looks at Kris with astonishment. “You got that guy’s number? I didn’t know you had it in you.”
Kris snorts, glaring at all of them. “It’s nothing.”
Tao rolls his eyes. “It’s obviously something , otherwise you wouldn’t be hiding it from us.” Kris gives Tao an unimpressed look. “Now that I think about you did sort of hit it off with that guy, so it must be him. Go on, read what it says!”
Sehun leans in to look at Kris phone screen and Kris moves it out of his sight.
“That’s a great idea, Zitao.” Kris says as he stands up. “I think I’ll go do just that.” Kris walks towards the break room, which should be pretty empty right now, and hears Zitao say “I meant here in front of us!”
Once Kris is sure he’s safe from prying eyes he checks the message.
Hey :) I get off work today at 3. I was wondering if maybe you wanted to hang out for a bit?
Kris smiles despite trying to hold it back.
I get off at five. Want to get something to eat? I’ll probably be hungry by then.
He waits a bit, hoping Lu Han will respond quickly. To his luck, Lu Han replies right away.
Sounds great! I’ll meet you in front of the building then. Text me the address?
Kris does that and goes back to his seat, ignoring Zitao and Sehun when they try to get anything out of him.
When five rolls around Kris packs up faster than he ever has and waves a quick good bye at Zitao, Joonmyun and Sehun. He doesn’t want them to say anything embarrassing with Lu Han there.
“Have fun with your new boy toy!” he hears Sehun cat call behind him and if Kris wasn’t in a hurry or at work he would have responded with something equally childish.
He’s relieved when he sees Lu Han walking around the first floor of the building and observing the crisp modern art work.
“Hey!” Kris says slightly out of breath.
Lu Han smiles at him “Lets go?” Kris nods.
They decide to go for an inexpensive Italian place Kris goes to for lunch sometimes. Kris orders a shrimp alfredo and Lu Han gets ravioli.
Kris turns back to Lu Han once the waiter leaves. “How was work this morning?”
“Blessedly slow. That place can get crazy sometimes. Minseok loves it though.”
“How did you two end up getting the same jobs?”
“Minseok use to be a regular at Night’s Blue when he had his old job, but then he got laid off. He was able to get the job at Bella’s Bru because he got his licence as a barista a long time ago. Both of us hooked each other up with a position at one another’s job. We both realized we got along really well and decided to live together to save on rent.”
“Lucky, that was probably a big financial rescue. New York City is expensive.”
Lu Han nods looking out the window they’re sitting next to, “It was a lot harder before I moved in with Minseok.” he smiles when he looks back at Kris. “What about you, how has your day been.”
“Blessedly slow.” Kris grins when Lu Han gives him a look of disapproval for imitating him. “It really was, our department has done the majority of our part already for the upcoming project so everything is chill at work right now”
“You must really like what you do to put up with it. It sounds like it can become too much.”
Kris shrugs nonchalantly “It’s alright, not my top pick.”
Lu Han is surprised.“Is there a different place you want to work at? You are working at one of the top cosmetic companies.”
“I wanted to do photography, but my parents didn’t approve of that idea.” Kris can feel the bitterness in his throat. “Eventually I grew afraid to pursue it and stuck with a safer route.”
“You can still learn how! You don’t have to give up on it.”
Kris lifts the corners of his mouth a little, he can tell Lu Han is a little upset by this. “I got a minor in it, so I got to do it for a little while.”
Lu Han frowns “Keep going then. I’ve heard there are schools who let you get a masters in if even if you major in something else. Since you have a minor you’d have a bigger chance of getting in.”
Kris shakes his head. “No, it’s okay. I don’t have time to pursue it.” Lu Han is still frowning, Kris hates it. He only wants Lu Han to smile. “What song are you planning to sing next at open mic night?” and Kris knows he asked the right thing when Lu Han’s face lightens up.
The sun has almost completely set when Lu Han asks “What times is it?”
Kris looks down at his watch “It’s almost seven.” Lu Han stands up “I have to go now. Minseok gets off from working at the bar soon.”
Kris follows. “Do you guys pick each other up from work?” Lu Han shakes his head “We’re hanging out with Yixing and some other friends today.”
They argue a bit for who pays the bill, but Kris wins and ends up paying. Lu Han looks guilty, but mutters “Thanks.” under his breath.
As they’re walking back to the metro Lu Han shyly asks “Would you want to do this again? Hang out, I mean.”
Kris can feel his goofy smile “Yes.”
Lu Han smiles.
They say good bye when Lu Han gets on his train. Kris goes to sleep that night with a big smile on his face.
Part II
For: khrysallis1106
Rating: R (for mentions of sex)
Length: 15,161
Author's notes: First, I hope khrysallis1106 enjoys the fic! I tried my best and I really hope it meets your expectations.
Second, I don't want to get into it to much with out spoiling, but I feel that this needs to be said before you read the fic. It is important to follow your dreams, and if you put time and dedication and know it won't be easy at all and you're willing to deal with the financial struggle, then props to you. You're very brave for doing so. However, if you don't follow your dreams you aren't a failure for not doing so. Not following your dreams and settling for something else is just as brave too. If you're happy with where you are at then that's all that matters.
Summary: Both Lu Han and Kris had similar dreams, they just ended up taking the opposite route when pursing them.
Kris groans as he struggles to push himself off the bed before giving up and letting himself fall back once again. The warmth of his blankets is inviting and he is putting a lot of effort in staying awake. Kris knows the air will be freezing once he leaves his blankets, he’s not sure he’s ready to face it.
Just five more minutes he thinks. Just five more minutes. Getting out of bed is already a hassle, but having to get out of bed to face the cold winter weather of New York city and go to his tedious desk job on a Monday makes everything ten times worse.
But he knows that there is always traffic in New York City and if he doesn’t get up now he might not make it to work on time.
He let his legs slide off the side of the bed, already feeling the cold air against his warm skin, he shivers and pushes himself up into a sitting position. Kris sits there hoping the cold air would be enough to wake him up completely, shivers continuing to run down his spine.
Kris hates the colder days, especially when he’s tired. It makes him sadder and he can already feel it in the back of his mind.
He stares blankly at the clock on his nightstand, eyes still half lidded with sleep. It reads six seventeen in a bright glaring red color that lights up a small part of his nightstand, standing out in the dark room, the only other small amount of light was coming through the curtains.
Kris moves to turn on the lamp on the nightstand. It made the room look infinitely warmer and less miserable. He pushes himself off the bed, and goes to get ready for the day.
It’s usually the same routine from Monday to Friday.
He goes to his kitchen to make himself some breakfast, opting today for a fried egg on a piece of toast, and maybe avocado if he’s up for it. Kris grabs a pan and sets it on the stove and turns it on. While he waits he grabs some oil so the eggs won’t stick and two eggs. The eggs sizzle the moment they hit the pan and Kris just stares at it blankly. No other thoughts going through his mind other than making sure not to burn his breakfast.
Kris grabs the bread from the toaster, places it on his plate and then puts the eggs on the toast (he decided to skip the avocado). He walks over to his small dining table, already eating his breakfast and getting crumbs all over the place. Not that Kris can really bring himself to care.
He sits in the seat where he left laptop from last night and turns it on to catch up on the news. Kris sees the regular articles about mindless things and the over exaggerated “Breaking News” articles (which Kris has come to find out that most of these articles aren’t even all that important).
Kris reads the news to stay updated on local, national and global news. But some days its just to take his mind off things. It’s days like today where if he sits eating breakfast with nothing to do his mind will start wandering and he’ll begin to over think situations.
Through the years he’s learn how to repress these thoughts quite well. But every once in a while the “what ifs” and “maybe” scenarios start running in his mind once again. Kris tries to avoid having those thoughts and usually sets for not thinking about anything at all. He isn’t entirely unsatisfied with his life afterall.
By the time he’s finished breakfast and saved some news articles for later its six forty five. Kris puts the plate in the sink, chugs a glass of water, and goes back to his bedroom and into the joint bathroom to brush his teeth. Then Kris gets into the shower.
After his shower he wraps a towel around his waist and proceeds to his sink where he begins to slather on serums and toners for various things he can’t keep track of them all. Kris thinks that a long time ago he use to value and care about a lot of stuff. Somewhere after high school he’s forgotten them. Now one of the few things he cares about is his appearance and continuing to look good.
Kris frowns at himself, disgusted with his own thoughts and settles for keeping his mind blank for the rest of the morning.
For today’s outfit Kris decides to go with the classic black suit, white shirt, and adorned it with a light green tie. He checks his hair and makes sure there isn’t a strand out of place before heading out of his apartment, peacoat swung over his forearm and briefcase in hand. Kris double checks that the door is locked before making his way out of the building.
When he arrives to the subway he barely makes the eight fifteen train. The ride to work is long, as usual. Today he decided to take the subway to work rather than deal with the usual traffic jams that happened this early in the morning. Most days he takes the train anyway.
Once he’s reaches his stop he walks two blocks down where all the nice office buildings are. He was lucky to be able to score such a nice job with a great pay fresh out of college at S.M Cosmetics. Of course that would have to do with his dad having a few connections, but even with his dad pulling a few strings he is still lucky have gotten the job.
His parents sure are proud. Kris feels a bitter taste in the back of his mouth at the thought and he quickly pushes it down. Trying to focus on what he has to get done today and that if it wasn’t for his skill in this field he wouldn’t have stayed with this company for four years without getting fired.
Kris swipes his card to enter the building and waits for the elevator. He arrives on the floor he works. Nods at the receptionist who says hello to him like she does every morning. Kris nods and smiles to everyone who says hello to him on autopilot. The smile never reaching his eyes.
Kris rushes to the marketing department and almost regrets not taking his time. His groups deadline for their marketing proposal for new EXO line that will be released in mid April is almost due. They have time, but since the company wants to make this their biggest line yet they’re put under double the pressure. Kris wishes he was back in his blankets.
All the walls are white with minimal art pieces varying in shape and size scattered throughout the walls. Kris’s favorite is one a cloud with vibrant hues of blue, orange, yellow and red. The wall straight ahead from the entrance is just large windows.
There are a couple of desks put together where himself and his co-workers sit with their team. Kris heads over to his desk where Joonmyun and Zitao already are.
Zitao is the first one to notice him, straightening to give him a cute smile. “Hey, good morning!”
“Hey” Kris responds, feeling the smile he gives Zitao being a bit more genuine than the others he’s given. Kris isn’t close, and probably not friends, with his team mates but he likes them well enough. They all get along and thats hard to find in big business corporations like this.
Joonmyun looks up from his desk next to Zitao and chirps a “Good morning.” of his own. Kris responds with a smile.
“Sehun’s not here yet?” Kris asks as he takes his seat across Joonmyun and turns on his computer.
“He is.” Zitao says, still giving him a sunny smile. “He just got up to get some coffee when you walked in.” Kris nods and asks Joonmyun how far he thinks they are. Joonmyun is just beginning to answer Kris’ question when Sehun slides into his seat next to him and nods in his direction.
“I think we’ve done our research well and as far as I’m aware we all have our documentation almost done?” Joonmyun looks around for confirmation and smiles when Kris, Zitao and Sehun nod and grunt in agreement. “We should be ready to go by Thursday.”
“Thank God.” Sehun says and Zitao nods in agreement, both slumping in his chair. Kris can’t help but agree.
The rest of the day goes by slowly as they continue to finish up their reports and ask their fellow co-workers what they have found in their research. With the release of new line in the next two months everyone has been staying until seven or eight rather than their usual five p.m. Kris just wants this goddam line to launch already. Right now they aren’t staying too late, but once the deadline starts creeping in he’ll probably end up living most of the time in the office or at Joonmyun’s apartment with Sehun and Tao trying to finish up the last bit.
When seven rolls around Kris all but hops from his chair in glee. Earning a chuckle from his team members. Kris doesn’t let it dampen his mood. He can already feel the gloominess from this morning starting to go away, letting a full smile fall on his face.
He packs up his things and waits for Sehun, Joonmyun and Zitao to finish. They talk about small things. Joonmyun talks about the girl he is currently dating and that now he’s thinking about having a serious relationship with her.
“I’m happy for you.” Sehun say with that cute kid smile of his. He turns to Kris asks “When are you going to get in a relationship? Aren’t you getting a bit old?” Zitao stops packing up to look up at Kris while Joonmyun just continues to pack up the rest of his things.
“I don’t have time for a relationship.”
Sehun gives him an unimpressed look. “Try better, Kris. I’m sure you could have come up with a more fitting excuse. You should look for one. It could cheer you up.”
Now it’s Kris’ turn to give Sehun an unimpressed look. “That is a terrible reason to get in a relationship. You should take your own advice though, get that stoic look off your face.” Kris grins. He can see Sehun stoic face growing indignant and Kris waits for him to respond with a “Look who’s talking” when Joonmyun and Tao say that they’re ready to head out.
They make their way out of their department and to the elevators. Kris just listens and laughs at whatever the others say.
“See you guys tomorrow!” says Zitao, giving Kris a warm smile before walking off.
Suho and Sehun follow with a “See ya!”.
Kris nods and waves at them with a small smile on his face and makes his way to metro to go home.
Tuesday and Wednesday go by in a blink of an eye for Kris. All he remembers is that they managed to finish the documentation by nine pm and Kris couldn’t be more thankful.
“See, I told you we’d be ready to go by Thursday.” Joonmyun tells him while they wait in line. Joonmyun asked if they could go to the coffee shop a couple of block from where they work.
Kris was planning on just going home and catching up on sleep when Joonmyun offered him a ride home. Kris usually declines hang out with his teammates outside of work so he’s pretty sure Joonmyun took giving Kris a ride home as an excuse to hang out. Joonmyun has always believed that they should socialize as friends outside of work to bond and build trust. It wasn’t like Kris could say no anyway since it was Joonmyun who was driving.
“Yeah, you just failed to mention we’d have to work all of Tuesday and Wednesday to finish it.” Kris feels like he should try to smile a bit to show he’s teasing him, but he can’t bring himself to it. He doesn’t even think he’s joking.
Joonmyun looks a little guilty. “Sorry.” His apology sounds so genuine that Kris almost feels bad, almost. “I guess we weren’t as ahead as I thought.” A small, sly, smile grew on Joonmyun’s face, patting Kris’ arm. “But for the next project you’ll be the team leader and I’m sure we’ll finish on ahead of schedule this time! You’ll know exactly how long it will take us.”
Kris groans at the thought, the little bit of energy he has draining already. “Don’t remind me. I don’t know why I let you talk me into switching the role of team leader between the two of us.” Kris glares at the last thing Joonmyun said. “And I’m not psychic.”
“Neither am I.”
Kris just squints at him. Since when did Joonmyun decide to be a smartass? He was never like that at work.
When he gets home, thanking Joonmyun for the ride, he goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face. Kris rolls his shoulders and gently moves his head from side to side hoping it will help him relax. He changes into pajamas and goes to bed early, he deserves it.
Thursday went smoothly, the higher ups being happy with what the teams came up with as a whole. The company is still not anywhere near done, but at least his can relax for a little while.
On Friday morning Kris feels cheerful, something he hasn’t been in weeks. One step closer to the end of the project has really lifted his spirits. Now its just a matter of tying the final strings together.
To celebrate Kris feels decides to treat himself to something for getting through it. Instead of having breakfast at home he walks into one of the coffee shops on his way to the metro. That’s one thing Kris loves about New York City. There are tons of little coffee shops tucked away in alleyways and corners.
Kris decides to go to the first one his sees on his way to work. The shop Bella’s Bru has been around for a year or two, but he’s only been there once or twice. Those times being when it first opened. He doesn’t remember if its good or not.
When he walks in it's a relief that there aren’t that many people in line. Kris waits patiently, admiring the copper details on the columns and some of the arches. It has an interesting renaissance feel but with a modern twist. The tables and booth are a bit simpler than the walls however. Just the typical wooden tables and chairs.
Once it’s Kris turn he smiles warmly at the cashier but doesn’t really look at him, staring at the menu instead. “I’ll have a small Americano and a fruit bowl.”
“To go?”
Kris looks at his watch. He has some time, but he’d rather not push. “Yeah.” This time when he smiles he looks at the cashier in the eyes. The man looks incredibly young and has nice sparkly eyes. He’s cute , Kris thinks, and he finds his smile grow into a full grin towards the cashier.
“Okay, I’ll have Minseok and our chef start the order. That will be eight seventy five.”
Kris gives him a ten dollar bill. The cashier smiles and as he returns Kris’ change he says “Thank you! Have a nice day.”
Kris moves to wait by the area where there is a small chalk board sign thats says Pick Up in really fancy handwriting.
His order doesn’t take to long and when he has his order he thanks the barista and heads off to work.
Arriving at work Kris realizes he is earlier than usual and has roughly fifteen to twenty minutes before the day actually starts. Joonmyun and a few other co-workers are already there as well. Joonmyun smiles when he sees him and waves. “Hey!”
“Hey.” Kris says as he puts his coffee and fruit bowl down on his desk. Kris takes off his blazer and drapes it on the back of his seat. “Are you always here this early?” He sits down and starts to roll his sleeves up.
“Usually. I just go over things again and see how everything is going.”
Kris hums and starts to eat his fruit thoughtfully. He wonders what he can do over the weekend, maybe he can watch some movies at home or go to some of the art galleries around the city. He’s sure a few photographers are having a show coming up. Maybe he’ll attend one of those after all.
He sighs at that thought, looking outside the large windows behind Joonmyun. When he was young he read about amazing artists and photographers, it was one of his many dreams.
First he wanted to be an artist, but he realized soon that his art would never improve beyond a five year olds. In middle school and the first half of high school he wanted to be a basketball player, but due to an injury that dream die too. Kris probably hit one of his lowest moments then.
He was crushed and to pass the time he began reading magazines and looking up artwork. But one artist that really caught his attention was Jerry Uelsmann.
Uelsmann’s photography was straight out of a dream. Kris was fascinated with the way he created his photomontages. Everything that would be created today in photoshop he did by hand in his lab. Cutting off images in certain parts with enlargers. Kris wanted to do something like that too. Wanted to take photos to capture a moment. Maybe he would create photomontages like Uelsmann does, but he wanted to capture the world in a different way.
“Why are you here early?” Kris is pulled out of his riverine and looks up to see Joonmyun’s questioning look.
“I decided to get breakfast out today.” Kris says motioning at his half eating fruit and coffee “I ended up having a lot more time than usual. If I had known I would have slept a bit more.” Kris adds the last sentence longingly, wishing he did get more sleep.
Joonmyun laughs “I guess seeing you at work this early in the morning won’t become a norm.” It isn’t a question.
The faces Kris makes at the thought of getting to work earlier has Joonmyun laughing harder. “No way. I value every bit of sleep I can get my hands on. And I have to recover because we had to sacrifice sleep in order to finish our reports.” Kris says as he gives Joonmyun a speaking glance.
“Let that go already” Joonmyun rolls his eyes. “Its done, no need to remember what was.”
“Tell that to my eye bags.” Kris mutters under his breath.
Work goes by slower today. Sehun and Tao talking and bickering at each other the entire time. It’s only when Joonmyun tells them to get back to work that they start being productive. Of course this only lasts for half an hour or so before they start talking again. Kris just hides his grin behind his hand as he looks at Joonmyun’s faces of irritation and despair.
“We should all hang out this weekend! A friend of mine recently got a job at a bar not to far from here.” Zitao says with a hopeful smile on his face.
“I’ll go!” Sehun agrees immediately. Kris can feel his peaceful weekend start to slip through his fingers. He gives Joonmyun a hopeful look. Please say no. Please.
But instead of listening to his plea Joonmyun says “I will too.” and looks expectantly at Kris “You’ll join us too, Kris, right? It’s a good opportunity for us to get to know each other more, bond as a team! Its important to keep this good work environment.” He smiles at Kris encouragingly.
Dammit. Joonmyun knew he was going to try to decline the offer. Kris sighs in defeat. He doesn’t really have much of a choice anymore, and Zitao is giving him that cute puppy look. “Yeah, I’ll be there.” he says rather begrudgingly.
Zitao smile blooms into a full grin, making him look like the young kid he is. It reminds Kris that both Zitao and Sehun are in this company also because they knew the right people, not because of experience. The only one in their team who go into S.M Cosmetics on their own is Joonmyun. Kris also had the right connections, but he also scored a few nice internships before he graduated.
“Great! I’ll text you guys the address. Is tomorrow at seven p.m okay?”
Everyone agrees that they can meet at that time and they all make their way out of the building and head home.
Kris wakes up in flunk Saturday morning. He gets up at six am out of habit and he tries his absolute best not to fall back asleep to keep up with his routine.
When he gets out of bed Kris takes the blanket with him, holding it tight against his body. He walks lazily down the hall in the dark, trying not run into something a hurt himself. Having his eyes open is a struggle and since Kris still isn’t fully awake yet he keeps bumping against the wall.
Kris pauses when he knocks down a picture frame on the wall. He picks it up and walks over to the kitchen where he finally turns the light on. When Kris looks that the picture is one of his parents he frowns. He knows that blaming his parents won’t change anything.
He sets the photo on the counter and decides to just serve himself a bowl of granola. He’s too lazy to make anything nice for himself today.
Sacrificing his warmth for a moment, Kris drops his blanket to the floor to put his bowl down on the coffee table and hurries to put the heater on. He can hear it kick in and rushes back to the kitchen to grab his blanket again.
He makes himself comfortable on the couch and turns on the t.v. Kris watches the morning news as he eats. A lot of it being silly stuff the newscast does between breaks to fill in the time, he eventually get bored and changes it to some channel that is play cartoon reruns.
Kris feels like a little kid again as he watches cartoons without a care in the world. Of course he doesn’t let that feeling sink in too deep. Kris doesn’t want to remember his parents always secretly wanting him to go the business world. Slowly pressuring him to major in it in college.
Eventually Kris did it because he grew afraid. Afraid to fight for his dream of pursuing photography when it was unstable. Luckily he was able to convince his parents of letting him minor in it instead, but he hasn’t put any of it into practice. Kris doesn’t see the point anymore.
Kris lets out an audible sigh as he slouches on the couch lazily, looking up at the ceiling. He lets his eyes slip close, just for a moment , he thinks.
When Kris opens his eyes its noon. He grunts, standing up and turning off the heater for a bit. Kris goes back to his room to grab his phone. As he is walking back to the kitchen he sees that Zitao texted him the address of the bar their suppose to meet up tonight.
“Ugh.” he grunts loudly even though no one can hear him. It totally slipped his mind that he had plans today. Kris contemplates lying, saying something came up last minute. However Zitao and Joonmyun would probably be able to see through that. Besides, if he goes this time he can say no the next time one of them invites him out.
Kris arrives to the bar five minutes before the original meeting time. The bar Night's Blue has been in business since before Kris could remember. It was a local favorite and Kris had been here a few times while he was in college. Open mic nights were his personal favorite, seeing poets, singers and musicians get a moment to shine even if its just for a little while .
He feels happy to have decided to come after all, taking the opportunity to dress himself up. Kris decided to wear a pair of dark, tight skinny jeans that hug his legs nicely, a plain white v-neck and a black blazer with a modern cut.
The staff ask for his I.D and Kris digs into wallet to pull it out. They let him enter and Kris can hear the old wooden floor under his feet creak a little as he makes his way towards the bar. You can tell this place has been here for a long time. Everything has an “old and used” vibe, except for the bar which is probably the only thing that has been renovated in who knows how long.
Lighting is kept at a minimal, probably to set a mood or atmosphere. There is a stage for the performances and then a small area for dancing. The rest is filled with a few tables and booths.
Zitao is already there, in extremely stylish clothing, leaning against the bar while he talks to the person tending to it.
Kris says “Sup, Zitao” as he sits in the stool next to where Zitao is.
“Hey.” Zitao smirks. “You’re acting cool, are you here to make an impression? Or is the atmosphere getting to your head?” he gives Kris a shiteating grin. Kris rolls his eyes, not trying to hide it.
“I’m always cool.” Zitao shakes his head in disapproval, Kris ignores it “Besides look at you, dressed your best and hitting on the bar tender.”
Zitao cringes. “I’m not hitting on the bar tender, this is my friend, Minseok. He’s the friend I said recently started working here.”
“Nice to meet you” Kris says as he extends his hand for Minseok to shake.
“Nice to meet you too.” Minseok gives him a cute little smile.
Zitao takes the stool next to him. “Can you give me a whisky, Minseok?” Minseok hands it to him with a smile.
“Getting to the hard stuff already?”
“Beer is gross, Minseok. You know that.”
Minseok laughs “You’re such a rich kid.” he says before walking away to attend the customers that just arrived.
Sehun and Joonmyun arrive almost half an hour later. “Sorry, Sehun made me give him a ride.” Joonmyun says.
“Don’t you have a car, Sehun?” Zitao asks.
Sehun shrugs “I didn’t feel like driving.” Zitao rolls his eyes and Sehun mimics him, except he makes his expression uglier than Zitao’s.
They talk at the bar sipping at their drinks. Kris mostly just listens to them, smiling and laughing (mostly at Sehun and Zitao). He ends up talking just to Joonmyun after Zitao and Sehun had too much to drink. The two of them leaning against each other and whispering. It looks like Joonmyun and him will be the ones to reach tipsy at most.
Joonmyun brings Minseok in the conversation when he’s waiting for more orders.
“What’s the stage for? That area seems to be empty.” Joonmyun asks Minseok.
“Saturday and Thursday are Open Mic night here. On Friday this place is sort of like a club for young adults.”
“Can anyone perform?”
Kris laughs, “Do you want to go up there and sing? Steal the show with expressive, and passionate, faces”
“Why are you guys like this?” Joonmyun pouts.
Minseok’s smiling as he watches the two converse. “Anyone can go up there and sing. The management is nice enough to let employee’s perform when they’re on break too. Two friends of mine who work here usually perform together.”
The stage light turns on and the majority of the people go quiet. One of the employees walks up the stage. “Hello everyone! Thank you for coming to Night Blue’s Open Mic night! Lets give it up for our participates and enjoy the show!” The employee walks off the stage and the first act goes to prepare the stage.
The performances are good, you could tell that every performer put effort into their piece beforehand. Kris wonders if any of them were regulars.
Kris was the only one in their group that was really watching. Zitao and Sehun still talking to each other, lost in their own world. Joonmyun was making conversation with some of the people who went to order drinks and the other bartender that started working with Minseok half way in the show.
He starts to drop in on Joonmyun’s conversation and hears Minseok say “Those are my friends who are about to perform.The singer is Lu Han and the guitar player is Yixing.” Kris turns to see who they are.
The guitar player is wearing a plaid shirt and jeans. The singer is wearing a blue solid color v-neck and some distressed jeans. What Kris can’t get over is that he is wearing a hideous fedora. Kris almost wants to go up stage and smack it off his head.
He can hear Zitao say “Ugh, that guy has terrible taste, it’s not even a nice fedora.” Glad to hear someone else agrees with him.
But the more Kris looks at the singer the more familiar he becomes. Maybe he’s seen him a couple of times around the city.
The singer, Lu Han, he reminds himself, grabs one of the microphones and takes a deep breath before bring it closer to his mouth.
“Hello everyone, as most of you probably already know I’m Lu Han and this is Yixing. Tonight we decided to perform the popular indie pop song Riptide by Vance Joy.” Lu Han puts the microphone back in the stand next to his seat.
Both take a minute to compose themselves before beginning their performance. Kris watches patiently, paying attention the the way the lights cast shadows on their faces. Especially the shadows from the hat on Lu Han’s face.
Yixing starts to strum the guitar and the majority of the bar goes quiet. Kris recognizes the song from the radio and the internet. He likes it, and is happy is made it mainstream. When Lu Han starts to sing he’s taken slightly back. The way he sings the song gives it a different feeling, makes it sounds sadder than what it is with his soft feather voice and the slow way he sings.
Lu Han stares at a spot towards the edge of the stage as he sings, but as the song progresses he begins to look up at the audience, and Kris can tell he’s getting into the moment. Kris thinks Lu Han looks so happy and free up on stage. It creates an ugly feeling in his chest he can’t identify, but also makes him admire Lu Han.
As Kris looks at him sing the feeling won’t go away, and then he realizes what emotion it is. He’s jealous. Kris has never been jealous of someone before, he feels disgusting. Pull yourself together.
Usually Kris would try to reason with himself why he feels a certain way, but for now he chooses to repress it and just enjoy the happiness on Lu Han’s face, how the song starts to go more upbeat. Kris laughs a little bit because its completely different from how he started the song.
When Lu Han finishes Kris claps enthusiastically along with most of the audience. For a moment it seems like Lu Han notices him, staring at Kris from across the room. Kris feels his heart skip a beat.
Both Yixing and Lu Han say thank you and walk off the stage so the next act can go up.
Kris is considering saying something to Lu Han. Something simple that could be taken as flirting or a compliment, or both.
“You’re friends are good.” Joonmyun says to Minseok, Kris had forgotten Joonmyun was next to him.
“Thanks.” says a voice from behind them. Kris turns to see that it’s Lu Han, minus the hat thankfully, smiling.
Any compliment Kris wanted to give dies in his throat. Lu Han is even more attractive up close, and now that he Lu Han right in front of him he can’t find the courage he had a while ago.
Lu Han turns to Kris, still smiling and Kris stutters a bit “Yeah- you - You were great.” Idiot. You should've kept your mouth shut. Lu Han smile turns into a grin and Kris can feel his cheeks go a bit pink. He hopes the lighting under the bar is almost or just as the dim as the rest of the place.
“Thanks, I’m glad you liked it.” Lu Han looks at him for a bit longer and then turns to Minseok. “I have the rest of the night off, can you get me a beer?”
Minseok goes to get one, giving Lu Han a stern look when he hands it to him. “I’m not letting you drink too much. We have work tomorrow, remember.”
Lu Han rolls his eyes slightly. “We have work everyday. It impossible for me to forget.” Lu Han takes the beer from Minseok, “Yixing went home already, I’ll be sitting over by one of the small booths in the corner.” Minseok nods and walks off.
Kris eyes follow Lu Han until he sits down. “You like him.” he hears Joonmyun say amazed. “I was starting to think you were a-romantic or something. You never showed interest in anyone before.”
“I’ve been in relationships before. You guys just don’t know about them.”
“Which is why you should hang out with us more instead of declining all the time. So next time we hang out it’ll be at this bar on a Saturday, that way you can’t say no.”
“What makes you think I’ll agree to come?” Kris tries to say smoothly. It fails because Joonmyun is trying to hold back his smile. Kris snorts
“Go talk to him, I’ll make sure Zitao and Sehun don’t do something they’ll regret later on.”
Kris walks over with a false bravado he can’t even bring himself to believe for his own comfort. “Is it alright if I sit here?”
Lu Han looks up at him and nods gesturing to the side in front of him. Kris takes the seat with a sigh of relief.
“How long have you been singing here? You said that most people here probably already knew you.” Kris asks coolly to his surprise.
Lu Han turns away from the performance to look at Kris. “Maybe two or three years? Ever since I started working here basically.”
“What was your previous job?” Kris asks, wondering if Lu Han was the type to go from job to job.
“I worked at bank doing finances.”
Kris frowns “What happened?” he thinks it might be to personal and is about to take it back when Lu Han laughs.
“Well, you sure are nosey with strangers.”. Kris opens his mouth to apologize, but Lu Han waves it off, giggling.
“It’s okay, I’m just teasing. I quit because I wasn’t happy. One day at work I realized that I wished I had pursued the dreams I had when I was a kid. Becoming a soccer player now isn’t likely, but I can still sing.”
“Wow.” Kris would have never done that, but maybe he doesn’t hate his job as much as Lu Han hated his. It isn’t his top choice, but he’s good at what he does and he has Joonmyun, Zitao and Sehun at work with him. “Did you hate your job that much?”
Lu Han shrugs “I don’t think that matters, I wasn’t following my dreams so I decided to pursue it.” Lu Han leans forward and gives Kris, what Kris thinks is, a flirty smile. “What do you do for a living? You are dressed to nicely, I bet you have a fancy job.”
Kris leans forward slightly, trying to act as cool as possible “You don’t have to make a lot of money to dress well, but I work for S.M Cosmetics in the marketing department.”
Lu Han whistles. “Sounds fancy.”
Kris grins and asks “What have you done since you quit your job?”
From there the conversation runs smoothly, Lu Han telling Kris about working multiple jobs and finding his best friend Minseok whom he currently shares an apartment with. Kris mentions a few things about his work, how he got his job and the places he’s been to thanks to it.
“Hey were leaving, I got Sehun and Zitao in the car already. Do you want me to give you a ride home?” Joonmyun asks.
Kris looks up at Joonmyun then at his watch, it’s almost one am. He completely lost track of time. “Yeah that’ll be nice. Do you want me to drive? How much did you have to drink?”
“Not much, probably way less than you.” Joonmyun points at the other two beers Kris ordered while he was talking with Lu Han.
Kris gets up from his seat. “Lets go then.” He sees Lu Han get up too, Kris smiles at him.
“I’ll see you around?” Lu Han asks, and Kris nods immediately.
“Yeah, see you around.”
Kris is at Bella’s Bru again the next morning. Unfortunately since it’s Sunday the line is a lot longer. When Kris gets to the front of the line his eyes widen. Lu Han is the one working the cashier.
Lu Han chuckles, “Good morning, what can I get started for you.”
“You weren’t joking when you said ‘see you around’.”
“I thought I’d just see you at the next open mic night, but I should have thought that I would probably see you here first since you’ve been coming in a lot more.”
Kris feels pleased that Lu Han noticed him before. He smiling when he gives him his order, an americano and an almond croissant.
When Kris picks up his order he notices a phone number written on his coffee cup and he turns to look at Lu Han. It takes a moment for Lu Han to catch Kris’ gaze, but he winks at Kris when he does.
He waits a while before texting Lu Han his number and gets a response at noon when Lu Han is off work.
They text for the remainder of the day. Kris smiling goofy at his phone whenever Lu Han responds. He’s never felt this at ease with anyone before.
He feels an interesting connection with the other.
During his lunch break at work on Monday Kris receives a text from Lu Han. Kris face breaks into that stupid gummy smile of his, but he can’t help it. He’s so happy to hear from Lu Han already.
“Oooooo” he hears Tao say looking at him teasingly. “Who are you talking to, Kris? Is it a special someone?” Next to him, Sehun breaks into a fit of giggles.
“Is it the singer from the bar? What was his name again? Lu Han?” Joonmyun asks.
Sehun looks at Kris with astonishment. “You got that guy’s number? I didn’t know you had it in you.”
Kris snorts, glaring at all of them. “It’s nothing.”
Tao rolls his eyes. “It’s obviously something , otherwise you wouldn’t be hiding it from us.” Kris gives Tao an unimpressed look. “Now that I think about you did sort of hit it off with that guy, so it must be him. Go on, read what it says!”
Sehun leans in to look at Kris phone screen and Kris moves it out of his sight.
“That’s a great idea, Zitao.” Kris says as he stands up. “I think I’ll go do just that.” Kris walks towards the break room, which should be pretty empty right now, and hears Zitao say “I meant here in front of us!”
Once Kris is sure he’s safe from prying eyes he checks the message.
Hey :) I get off work today at 3. I was wondering if maybe you wanted to hang out for a bit?
Kris smiles despite trying to hold it back.
I get off at five. Want to get something to eat? I’ll probably be hungry by then.
He waits a bit, hoping Lu Han will respond quickly. To his luck, Lu Han replies right away.
Sounds great! I’ll meet you in front of the building then. Text me the address?
Kris does that and goes back to his seat, ignoring Zitao and Sehun when they try to get anything out of him.
When five rolls around Kris packs up faster than he ever has and waves a quick good bye at Zitao, Joonmyun and Sehun. He doesn’t want them to say anything embarrassing with Lu Han there.
“Have fun with your new boy toy!” he hears Sehun cat call behind him and if Kris wasn’t in a hurry or at work he would have responded with something equally childish.
He’s relieved when he sees Lu Han walking around the first floor of the building and observing the crisp modern art work.
“Hey!” Kris says slightly out of breath.
Lu Han smiles at him “Lets go?” Kris nods.
They decide to go for an inexpensive Italian place Kris goes to for lunch sometimes. Kris orders a shrimp alfredo and Lu Han gets ravioli.
Kris turns back to Lu Han once the waiter leaves. “How was work this morning?”
“Blessedly slow. That place can get crazy sometimes. Minseok loves it though.”
“How did you two end up getting the same jobs?”
“Minseok use to be a regular at Night’s Blue when he had his old job, but then he got laid off. He was able to get the job at Bella’s Bru because he got his licence as a barista a long time ago. Both of us hooked each other up with a position at one another’s job. We both realized we got along really well and decided to live together to save on rent.”
“Lucky, that was probably a big financial rescue. New York City is expensive.”
Lu Han nods looking out the window they’re sitting next to, “It was a lot harder before I moved in with Minseok.” he smiles when he looks back at Kris. “What about you, how has your day been.”
“Blessedly slow.” Kris grins when Lu Han gives him a look of disapproval for imitating him. “It really was, our department has done the majority of our part already for the upcoming project so everything is chill at work right now”
“You must really like what you do to put up with it. It sounds like it can become too much.”
Kris shrugs nonchalantly “It’s alright, not my top pick.”
Lu Han is surprised.“Is there a different place you want to work at? You are working at one of the top cosmetic companies.”
“I wanted to do photography, but my parents didn’t approve of that idea.” Kris can feel the bitterness in his throat. “Eventually I grew afraid to pursue it and stuck with a safer route.”
“You can still learn how! You don’t have to give up on it.”
Kris lifts the corners of his mouth a little, he can tell Lu Han is a little upset by this. “I got a minor in it, so I got to do it for a little while.”
Lu Han frowns “Keep going then. I’ve heard there are schools who let you get a masters in if even if you major in something else. Since you have a minor you’d have a bigger chance of getting in.”
Kris shakes his head. “No, it’s okay. I don’t have time to pursue it.” Lu Han is still frowning, Kris hates it. He only wants Lu Han to smile. “What song are you planning to sing next at open mic night?” and Kris knows he asked the right thing when Lu Han’s face lightens up.
The sun has almost completely set when Lu Han asks “What times is it?”
Kris looks down at his watch “It’s almost seven.” Lu Han stands up “I have to go now. Minseok gets off from working at the bar soon.”
Kris follows. “Do you guys pick each other up from work?” Lu Han shakes his head “We’re hanging out with Yixing and some other friends today.”
They argue a bit for who pays the bill, but Kris wins and ends up paying. Lu Han looks guilty, but mutters “Thanks.” under his breath.
As they’re walking back to the metro Lu Han shyly asks “Would you want to do this again? Hang out, I mean.”
Kris can feel his goofy smile “Yes.”
Lu Han smiles.
They say good bye when Lu Han gets on his train. Kris goes to sleep that night with a big smile on his face.
Part II