Rules; Love Game
Rules; Love Game
JaeJoong&Yunho
Romance, Drama, Angst
Jaejoong & Yunho play a love game.
A sequel to Rules; Love & Desire
{Song used; ♫Suggestions by Orelia Has Orchestra
Rules; Love Game
"Jaejoong-ah, maybe we should stop doing this."
The taller man, Yunho, had said almost nonchalantly as he zipped up his pants. He examines himself in the mirror, eyebrows furrowing - shit, should I have showered he wonders until he catches a glimpse of his smaller lover's reflection in the mirror. Jaejoong had rolled over in bed, white sheets half covering his exquisitely naked body.
Yunho bit his lip as he tried to contain his amusement. Yunho couldn't help but be endlessly mesmerized by Jaejoong.
But the black haired beauty doesn't say a word but instead blinks slowly, once - twice - three times before cocking his head to the side as he turned to face Yunho with an impassive expression. Yunho loved the way in which Jaejoong feasted his eyes on him.
He simply loved the way Jaejoong looked at him with his wide cat-like eyes.
"I was thinking the same thing Yunho-yah," Jaejoong, finally says in a monotone voice, "We should stop fucking behind our girlfriend's backs."
Yunho frowned at that, his eyes troubled. The silence that surrounded them was so thick that Jaejoong's words danced in Yunho's ears. But Yunho held his gaze steadily before smiling a near apologetic smile.
"Okay, I guess we're breaking up then?" Yunho teased affectionately as he moved slowly - deliberately towards Jaejoong. "I'll be seeing you," he says as he leaned in and kissed Jaejoong on the cheek, "a break up kiss."
And almost instantly, an expression Yunho could not fathom played over the smaller man's features. His expression was hostile, yet vulnerable and his dark eyes blazed with betrayal. Yunho was taken-aback, he had never seen such an expression on his best-friend's face before, and a sudden surge of guilt melted through him.
Both men held eachother's gazes for five seconds before the smaller man's soft lips twitched, "See you, Yunho-yah."
And with that, Yunho ended his late night visits to Jaejoong.
You'll be my cigarette, and I'll be your lighter. I'll want you and you'll need me. You'll satisfy me and I'll
keep coming back for my fix - then we'll kill each other slowly.
Yunho liked Jaejoong. He liked him very much - they were best friends after all. Ever since Jaejoong walked up to him, a cigarette dangling from his full lips, can I borrow your lighter he asked. Yunho knew, he would never forget the first time he laid eyes on the infamous Kim Jaejoong.
He was an unspeakable beauty.
Yunho always had a way with words, he was great at describing things - but Jaejoong's beauty - no, he couldn't do it. He'd try, but he would fail miserably. Jaejoong was, more or less, someone who could make Yunho fall to his knees.
From then on, Jaejoong was by his side at all times. Jaejoong had simply become someone Yunho couldn't be without.
Truthfully, Yunho had been quite intimidated by Jaejoong's stillness at first. Jaejoong did not speak much in the presence of others, but when he did speak - it was like all hell broke loose. He spoke confidently, with an unhesitating manner which often stunned people into speechlessness due to his blunt speech.
But just the thought of the smaller man beside him was comforting, because Yunho was a try-hard. Everyone expected so much from him to the point that even praises seemed burdensome. But Jaejoong was different, he was always without expectation.
So oddly enough, the smaller man with an indifferent expression comforted him.
It was easy in high school, it was easier in college - it was easy to integrate Jaejoong into his future as they applied for the same colleges, moved into the same dorm and slept in the same bed, and now living in the same apartment - one floor separating them. He always just assumed that Jaejoong would be there, as his best friend - and his lover, or well - fuck buddy, rather.
He liked Jaejoong, he couldn't deny it and he meant it wholeheartedly - he really liked Jaejoong. But he loved the idea of getting married, owning a house with a white picket fence and two children.
Jaejoong couldn't give him that. But Yoona, his younger girlfriend, could.
"So I was thinking, Maybe after the movie we can go - "
Yunho frowned, disturbed by the manner in which his girlfriend stopped mid sentence. Yunho had come to realize that many things annoyed him about his girlfriend, her fleeting attention was one of them.
"Yoona, continue," Yunho urged on as he gripped his girlfriend's hand. And for a brief moment he stared at Yoona with a scrutinizing gaze. She was - everything you could hope for in a woman, she was beautiful and petite, intelligent and independent, and she had a youthful glitter in her eyes. She also wanted two children and a life full of privilege. Something Yunho could offer her in exchange for the perfect life.
But, Yunho frowned at this thoughts, she can't give me what Jaejoong can.
And for once in his life, he was confused. Utterly puzzled at his thoughts about Jaejoong, because Jaejoong couldn't fulfill Yunho's dreams - Yoona could, and yet Yunho felt heavy with regret.
"Yun-oppa, isn't that Jaejoong-Oppa?"
Yunho instinctively turned at his heel, a spontaneous smile tugging at his lips.
He realized he hadn't seen Jaejoong in more than a month and the thought of seeing him made his movements a tad bit quicker. But the sight of Jaejoong made him stop mid-stride and his smile quickly faded
"I didn't know Jaejoong had friends other than you." Yoona said incredulously as Yunho eyed Jaejoong and his male companion across the street from him and Yoona.
"He doesn't," Yunho said sullenly. We watched Jaejoong with narrow, deploring eyes. He hated the way Jaejoong looked at his companion - the way he smiled at him.
Jaejoong doesn't smile at anyone, Yunho thought to himself, he only smiles at me.
Yunho was glaring now, his muscles tense with impending fury as he saw Jaejoong insert a cigarette in between his pouted lips and his companion promptly lighting Jaejoong's cigarette with his lighter.
"I didn't know Jaejoong-Oppa smoked." Yoona inquired with questioning eyes.
"He doesn't." Yunho responded thickly as he teared his eyes off Jaejoong's and his companion's backs. They were at a small distance now, walking down the street unaware of Yunho's burning gaze. He tilted his head up and closed his eyes, taking a deep steady breath, "Let's go."
Yoona gasps at Yunho's demeanor, "Did you and Jaejoong-Oppa get into a fight or something. Because you never miss a chance at seeing him. You'd go running if he called - " she mused with a frown, "This is unlike you. Since it's Jaejoong, I thought you'd go flying across the street to him."
Yunho laughed at that, turning to stare at his girlfriend with appraising eyes. "The way you make me sound - it's like you're saying I love him."
"Well - I couldn't help but wonder," She mutters thoughtfully, "but he has been your best friend since high school. But sometimes - the way you go running to him, every time - " And then she paused.
Every-fucking-time, Yunho thinks to himself, and he wonders if there was a way to fix that, fix her.
"Are you guys not speaking because you're upset with him moving out of the apartment?"
Yunho's lips parted, but remained pointedly silent.
Yoona stepped back, confused by the puzzled look on her boyfriend's face, "Oh, Jaejoong didn't tell you?" She paused again, taking in Yunho's broken expression, "Hyori called me and told me Jaejoong found another place - "
Yunho staggered backwards and shook his head, unbelieving. Jaejoong wouldn't leave without saying a word, would he?
You'll be my cigarette, and I'll he'll be your lighter. I'll want you and you'll need him me. You'll satisfy me and I'll
keep coming back for my fix - then we'll kill each other slowly
"Oh, you saw me?" Jaejoong turns, a bowl of well decorated Gamjatang in his hands and gently places it in front of Yunho. "I'm sorry this was last minute. I wasn't expecting you."
Yunho watches as Jaejoong removes his apron, placing it on a hook and then taking a seat beside Yunho.
"Yeah," Yunho starts, unsure of what to say exactly, "is he a friend?"
"Well," Jaejoong said uncertainly, his eyes fastened on the bowl of stew, "not exactly. I mean, you could say he's a friend. But not really."
Yunho doesn't understand. Jaejoong never makes sense. If there was one thing Yunho understood, it was that he didn't understand anything.
With a slight pout, Yunho mindlessly grabs at his spoon, and quickly stirs the soup, "wait - Yunho-yah - don't - ugh."
Yunho ignores the smaller man's protests and regards him with a stern face, "What is he then if he's not a friend, but you can call him a friend."
Yunho can't help but feel bothered by Jaejoong's secretive attitude. Or just simply bothered - that there was another friend. Jaejoong didn't have friends, but he had Yunho and Yunho didn't understand why Jaejoong needed another friend.
"I'm sort of - seeing him," Jaejoong deadpans, and Yunho swears his heart trembled and then stopped altogether. "It seems that - thanks to you, my body prefers men now."
Yunho forgets to breath.
"What about Hyori?" Yunho gasps, his voice raspy, "she loves you." He hears the smaller man sigh.
"That's not the point Yunho. It doesn't matter if she loves me, what matters is that I don't love her and it wouldn't be fair for me to keep dragging her along when she can find another man who is serious about loving her."
Jaejoong pauses, and Yunho doesn't mind.
"I love her, but I'm not in love with her. I shouldn't confuse the two. She couldn't satisfy my needs nor could she fill my heart. I think, maybe, my new friend can."
"Have I been replaced, Jaejoong-ah." Yunho sounds like he's pleading. Maybe because he is. He wants Jaejoong, he still wants Jaejoong - but needs a wife, needs children.
Jaejoong smiles at that, a rueful smile that didn't reach his eyes, "Yunho-yah, you were the one that broke-up with me. You can't mistake love and desire anymore Yunho-yah."
"JaeJoong, I longed for you all along."
"Yeah, because you're in-love with me right."
This time, Jaejoong smiles - like really smiles, one of his disarming smiles that rendered Yunho both breathless and speechless, but this time - Yunho realizes Jaejoong's smiles weren't his to catch anymore; that his smiles weren't just for him anymore. Yunho's eyes filled with soft despair at the thought of another man taking Jaejoong from him.
All Yunho wanted to do was take Jaejoong in his arms, embrace him and then make love to him repeatedly until he was able to erase all Jaejoong's memories of his other friend.
"I- I don't really know what to say," Yunho chokes.
"You don't have to say anything, Yunho-yah."
The following night, Yunho decided to give Jaejoong a late night visit. He took out his set of keys and gently inserts it in the keyhole and turns the doorknob. With a loud click, the door opens. Dim lights welcome him as he drops his set of keys on the kitchen counter and swiftly makes his way to Jaejoong's bedroom.
It was all too familiar to him - him sneaking into Jaejoong's bed and fucking him senseless. And yet, something was unfamiliar to Yunho and that was the trail of scattered clothing leading to Jaejoong's bedroom.
It wasn't Yunho's - It was another man's.
Yunho's eyes widened with realization as to the situation he was in. Jaejoong was with another man, his friend. Placing a trembling hand on his heart, he staggers forward, his breath caught in his throat.
He never imagined there would be someone else, could be someone else that could replace him in Jaejoong's life.
He - was Jaejoong's only friend, he - was Jaejoong's best friend, he - was Jaejoong's lover. He was everything to Jaejoong, and he couldn't understand how Jaejoong could replace him. How Jaejoong could just walk away.
No Yunho, it was you who walked away first, a voice settled in Yunho's head, you overestimated Jaejoong's love for you.
Almost reluctantly, he peers through the opening of Jaejoong's room, and finds his lover and another man naked in eachother's embrace, the other man rocking his body into Jaejoong's. Yunho find's himself momentarily paralyzed, unable to grasp the situation as a surge of emotions overwhelmed him.
Yunho watched in despair as each touch - each kiss - each moan unrelentingly slapped Yunho in the face, each a separate blow.
"Jaejoong, Jaejoong"
Ngeh, Hyunjoong
"Jaejoong, Oh God JaeJoong."
Don't stop - don't stop
"JaeJoong. I love you."
...
As if awakened from a trance, Yunho began to move. His long legs directing him to the bed where the two men were making love unaware of Yunho's presence.
With trembling hands and wide sporadic eyes, Yunho took hold of the companions' naked body and threw him to the ground. "Get off him. Jaejoong is mine!" Yunho finds himself screaming - finds himself crying. Tears blurred his vision as rage ignited his body.
He hated himself.
It was his fault, after all.
Fists fly as he begins raining punches onto the other man, Hyunjoong's, face, and it felt good - felt oh-so-fucking-good. Hyunjoong gripped Yunho's arms, but remained still.
"Yunho-yah!" He hears a muffled cry but ignores it, "Yunho-yah, please stop it!"
This time, Yunho turns to find Jaejoong weeping, his tear stained face so painfully beautiful. His full lips were trembling, its pink softness moistened with saliva and tears. "Yunho-yah, please stop this."
And this time, he finds himself on his back having caught Hyunjoong's fist in his face. "I deserved that," he whispers inaudibly to himself. Silent and motionless, Yunho stares at the ceiling, dazed and confused.
He really didn't understand anything.
"He's Yunho?" Hyunjoong coughs painfully as he slowly sits himself up, his left hand covering his nose as to stop the bleeding. "So he's the one you're trying to recover from."
"Yes," Jaejoong says quietly. He gets up off the bed, his white blanket wrapped around his once naked body as he grabs a tissue and presses it against his companions face, "That is why I don't understand why he is so upset right now. Since he's the one who broke up with me."
"What are you saying Jaejoong-ah," Yunho says, sitting up and then leaning forward, a hand extending slowly as he tried to reach for Jaejoong and almost immediately, Jaejoong jerked away, slapping Yunho's hand away.
"I guess I can't do this after all Hyunjoong-ah," Jaejoong says with a sad smile, "I'm sorry, but please leave."
"You don't deserve him." Hyunjoong said turning to Yunho, and without another word, Jaejoong's companion left.
"Please, Yunho-yah," Jaejoong almost spits out, "Get out." And in a frenzy, he pulls out his luggage's and begins to pack his belongings. Jaejoong packed, his head hung low but Yunho could see Jaejoong was crying to himself.
"What are you doing, Jaejoong-ah." Yunho says tenderly, as he picks himself off the floor. "What are you doing," he repeats, embracing the smaller man's shaking body from behind.
"I'm leaving. I've had enough Yunho - I've had enough of waiting for you to love me. Watching you leave every morning after you fucked me to go see your Yoona. How long do I have to wait, for god sakes Yunho!"
Yunho couldn't find the words to comfort him. But as he looked at Jaejoong, he realized he didn't want - or need that white picket fenced house, didn't need that wife with two children -
He wanted, needed - loved Jaejoong.
And he wanted, needed Jaejoong to love him.
"Don't leave. You need to stay - I don't care if it's as my friend, or my lover. Tell me what you want, tell me and I'll do it. Just please, let me stay by your side." Yunho was pleading, his hold tightening as he cried into Jaejoong's neck.
"How could a word like, friend make me stay." Jaejoong replies numbly, and Yunho cries harder as pained emotions surged through his body.
"Because I love you Jaejoong-ah," Yunho choked, his throat constricting as he wept. He hated crying, absolutely hated it. "Because i couldn't imagine my future without you in it."
"Shit, you're so selfish Yunho-yah," Jaejoong half sighs, half cries as he allows himself to surrender in Yunho's strong arms, "say it again."
"I love you Jaejoong-ah."
"Jaejoong-ah, Jaejoong-ah," panting, muffled groans escaped the taller, older man. "Jaejoong, ngeh Jaejoong," he would continue to moan out his ecstasy as he rocked his body into the smaller man who wrapped himself onto him as a second coating of skin. The smaller man, JaeJoong, holding him; clinging onto the taller man with his strong arms, his legs wrapped around the taller mans hips making use of their closeness.
"JaeJoong, JaeJoong"
More. more. more
"JaeJoong, Oh God JaeJoong".
Don't stop Yunho-ah, don't stop. Say my name. More.
"JaeJoong. I love you."
...
"JaeJoong, I love you so much."
Keep saying it.
"So much Jae. I love you."
I love you too, Yunho-yah
The next morning, Jaejoong woke up first, his naked body enveloped in the arms of his lover, Yunho, and he smiles. That morning, he didn't wake up to see Yunho getting dressed to leave him for Yoona, this time Yunho was staying just where he belonged.
And that was with Jaejoong.
The comfortable silence was disturbed by the sound of Yunho's cellphone ringing but Yunho doesn't wake up, instead he moves closer to Jaejoong, tightening his hold on the smaller man and Jaejoong smiles wider, shifting to grab Yunho's phone and shutting it off. Yunho will be late from now on Yoona.
"I lost the game first," Jaejoong says with a laughing sigh. He takes a second to gaze at his lover's face before kissing his lips, "but now, you lost too."
I'll be your cigarette, and you'll be my lighter.
+
1. First of all, this was inspired by a manga called Warui Yume by Tateno Makoto.
2. I almost cried writing this, I was so frustrated with myself. To be honest, I really wondered if I lost - my feelings. It was as if I couldn't fathom my character's feelings, their hurt or confusion & it drove me crazy. Writing used to be so easy for me, and now it's like a painful struggle. But it's a challenge now, & I love a challenge.
3. Notice that the ending is an open-ending, because I do not imply that Yunho breaks up with Yoona, and Jaejoong's comment about Yunho being late could be - well, something implied. But if you guys like, you can think happy thoughts instead.
4. I'm not sure if my writing is as up-to-par as it used to be, but I guess I will try harder.
5. Please enjoy, and thank you for reading. & Comments are well loved ♥
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