[D.GM] FANFICTION : Question
Disclaimer - D.GM and all the hawtness in it [c] Katsura Hoshino
Title - Question
Author - Krissified
Series - D.Gray Man
Rating - PG
Pairing / Characters - Gen / Allen, Lenalee, Lavi. Kanda, Miranda and Krory are mentioned,but never really have a role.
Warnings - OOC - ness, a lot of angst on Allen's part. Major spoilers, do not read if you are not up to date with the latest chapters which is 166 / 167.
Word Count - 1,678
Summary - Basically what Allen's thinking of after Cross told him everything.
Comments - There might be a Part 2 to this. C: Translation of Lullaby thanks to Yuurisansubs.
======START======
By the time that I realised it, I’ve already made the secret room of the Fourteenth my safe heaven. There, when in times of needing peace and quiet, I would always lie down on the sofa or maybe play the piano to sort out my thoughts. I would allow myself to be immersed in my thoughts until someone came a - knocking on the door and bring me back to my senses. Sometimes if I really had a need to be alone, I would close the door to the room, thus allowing no one else to enter.
Master’s words didn’t really come out as a shock to me, it was just that… I suppose I was more shocked by the fact that I had already known that that would be the case. Somehow, I had already known that Mana was involved with the Fourteenth, or even, maybe Mana was the Fourteenth. I wasn’t all that surprised about the fact that I was going to change into the Fourteenth, after all, I was the only one who could see his shadow, wasn’t I? But what Master did, and said, next shocked me.
I was supposed to kill someone close to me when I become the Fourteenth. Ever since I known that, I had always wondered who that someone would be. I didn’t want it to be any of my friends, any of my nakamas. Not Lenalee, Lavi, Krory, Miranda, nor Kanda.
Today was a day like any other. I was in the room again, because now, I seem to frequent the room even more than I could count. I suppose it was because of what Master said, and it was unnerving me. Or maybe I was just trying to run away from the fact that I had to turn into the Fourteenth. How pathetic, like always.
I reached out my hand into the air and laughed - a bitter, short laugh.
“Mana… Did he love me or his brother in me?”
I was always wondering about that. Whether Mana was attracted to me, or the Noah in me that made him remember about his brother that was killed.
Heaving myself up from the sofa, I walked the short distance to the mirror walls. The shadow of the Fourteenth was still there, no matter what happens. Reaching out, I let my hands drift near the mirrors. I wanted to touch the mirror, but my memories of that dream of Lenalee didn’t allow me to - whenever I neared the shadow, the feeling of shock came back and I was dragged all the way back into the dream.
“…What… What is it that you want, Fourteenth?
“Why… Why did you betray the Noah and the Earl? What made you decide to kill the Earl?”
My glance was drawn towards the piano’s reflection in the mirror. Timcampy was on top of the piano, like always. Walking slowly towards it, I thought back to the first time I entered the room and played the piano. Someone was singing. It was probably the Fourteenth, although it didn’t sound a lot like him.
Seating myself comfortably on the chair, I raised my hands to the level of the keyboard, and played the melody. I have been playing it almost everyday now, each time hoping that it would lead me to understanding who I am, but it was to no avail.
“Soshite bouyaha nemurini tsuite. [and then the boy falls asleep]
“Ikizuku haino nakano hono o, hitotsu, futatsuto. [the flame inside the breathing ashes, one, then two.]
“Ukabu fukurami itoshii yokogao. [the floating swelling, the dear profile]
“Daichini taruru ikusenno yume, yume. [thousands of dreams, dreams, that pour onto the earth]
“Ginno hitomini yuragu yoruni, umareochita kagayaku omae [on the night when the silver eyes swings, the shining you was born]
“Ikuo kuno tositsukiga, ikutu inoriwo tsuchihe kaeshitemo. [no matter how many millions of years, return the prayers to Earth]
“Watashiha inorituzukeru mou, kakonnokotoni aiwo. [i continue praying, love for the last]
“Tsunaidateni kisuwo. [kiss for the joined hands]”
That was the words, the song, and along with the Melody, it makes the Lullaby. The same thing that Mana and I had created was actually the Fourteenth’s Lullaby. If that was the case, then why did Mana know about this? Master didn’t really give me any explanations for that.
- - - - - - -
“…Lenalee…” I gently nudged the green haired girl sleeping in front of me. “I’m sorry for disturbing you this late, but can you come with me for a while?”
A gently smile.
Lenalee agreed without questioning me. It was the first time I had seen her ever since the night after Cross had told me about the Fourteenth. The whole time afterwards, I was either kept in custody, or spending my time in the secret room that was about to become mine.
Timcampy, the Fourteenth’s golem, floated softly behind us as I led Lenalee into the Ark and before a doorway.
“Go in, Lavi and the others are already inside.” I smiled. “I’ll be joining you shortly after.”
I pushed the door open and allowed Lenalee to step inside. After making sure that she’s inside the great hall, I turned away and headed to the room. I had to change.
After changing, I pressed a key on the piano and opened up a door that led me to the place where all my friends were gathered. I stepped through the door, to find them sitting on the couch, silently waiting for me to make my entrance.
“Allen - kun!” It was Lenalee. “What are you…”
I smiled, waving my right hand, and sat on one of the seats.
“I’m sorry for waking you all up so late, but I need to tell you guys something… I suppose Lavi and Bookman already know about this, but you guys need to know too…”
I shifted in my seat, and Timcampy alighted down upon my shoulders. There was an awkward silence before I finally decided to break it. Leaning forwards slighting and placing my head on my hands, I began my tale. Because I’ve already decided that I would let my friends know about it. Miranda, Lavi, Lenalee, Krory and Kanda.
“You see… What I’m about to tell you… Is very important. It’s about the Fourteenth.
“Remember when Lavi asked me why I was able to restore the Ark? I didn’t know at that time, but now I do. It was because… …I’m the Fourteenth himself. I… I told you how I was orphaned, but Mana took me in, didn’t I? Mana was the Fourteenth’s brother…
“Mana was the Fourteenth’s brother… And after the Fourteenth tried to kill the Earl, they were always on the run. The Fourteenth was Master’s friend, so that’s why Master knows that I am the Fourteenth. Master told me that… The Fourteenth’s memories are implanted in me, possibly during the time that Mana and the Fourteenth was on the run. And, because of this memories… I’ll turn into the Fourteenth myself.
“The memories will consume me, turning me into the Fourteenth. That was the reason why I was able to play the piano and restore the ark. It wasn’t because it was me playing, but it was the Fourteenth inside of me that’s doing it.
“…When I become the Fourteenth, I’ll probably lose all self conscious. I’ll probably be trying to kill the Earl again…”
I sighed. There was more to this, but I really didn’t want to tell them. I didn’t want them to know that when I become the Fourteenth, I’ll have to kill my precious person. To be truthful, I myself don’t know who my ‘precious person’ is.
“Alle -” Lenalee spoke out, breaking the silence that had fallen upon us again.
I waved my hand, cutting her off. “There’s more to this.”
Looking at Lavi, I nodded. “You understand, don’t you? You were there, you heard it for yourself. Tell me, truthfully, what are you going to do if I do end up doing that?”
Turning back, and resting my head in my hands again, I continued.
“Master… He said that I’ll have to kill someone important to me when I become the Fourteenth.”
I looked around at the shocked faces of my friends. Lavi was the only one who looked away when I turned to him - that was to be expected of course.
“What will you do?” I stood up.
“If I was to become the Fourteenth, and try to kill you, what will you do?” I walked to the door which I came from.
“If I was to tell you that you’ll have to kill me no matter what when that happens, will you follow my instructions…?” I stepped through the door, and allowed it to close behind me.
Again, I was alone. Maybe it’s better this way.
This way, I wouldn’t have to worry about becoming close to anyone. This way, I wouldn’t have to worry about killing anyone close to me.
I live only for the Akumas.
But now I also live for the humans.
The humans that I one day will have to kill. I wonder what they are going to do about it. Leaning against the wall, I started humming the Song.
“Soshite bouyaha nemurini tsuite. [and then the boy falls asleep]
“Ikizuku haino nakano hono o, hitotsu, futatsuto. [the flame inside the breathing ashes, one, then two.]
“Ukabu fukurami itoshii yokogao. [the floating swelling, the dear profile]
“Daichini taruru ikusenno yume, yume. [thousands of dreams, dreams, that pour onto the earth]
“Ginno hitomini yuragu yoruni, umareochita kagayaku omae [on the night when the silver eyes swings, the shining you was born]
“Ikuo kuno tositsukiga, ikutu inoriwo tsuchihe kaeshitemo. [no matter how many millions of years, return the prayers to Earth]
“Watashiha inorituzukeru mou, kakonnokotoni aiwo. [i continue praying, love for the last]
“Tsunaidateni kisuwo. [kiss for the joined hands]”
Will I be able to stop the sadness?
Or does everyone have to die in the end?
In the end, must you always sacrifice something in order to protect another thing?
======END======
Title - Question
Author - Krissified
Series - D.Gray Man
Rating - PG
Pairing / Characters - Gen / Allen, Lenalee, Lavi. Kanda, Miranda and Krory are mentioned,but never really have a role.
Warnings - OOC - ness, a lot of angst on Allen's part. Major spoilers, do not read if you are not up to date with the latest chapters which is 166 / 167.
Word Count - 1,678
Summary - Basically what Allen's thinking of after Cross told him everything.
Comments - There might be a Part 2 to this. C: Translation of Lullaby thanks to Yuurisansubs.
======START======
By the time that I realised it, I’ve already made the secret room of the Fourteenth my safe heaven. There, when in times of needing peace and quiet, I would always lie down on the sofa or maybe play the piano to sort out my thoughts. I would allow myself to be immersed in my thoughts until someone came a - knocking on the door and bring me back to my senses. Sometimes if I really had a need to be alone, I would close the door to the room, thus allowing no one else to enter.
Master’s words didn’t really come out as a shock to me, it was just that… I suppose I was more shocked by the fact that I had already known that that would be the case. Somehow, I had already known that Mana was involved with the Fourteenth, or even, maybe Mana was the Fourteenth. I wasn’t all that surprised about the fact that I was going to change into the Fourteenth, after all, I was the only one who could see his shadow, wasn’t I? But what Master did, and said, next shocked me.
I was supposed to kill someone close to me when I become the Fourteenth. Ever since I known that, I had always wondered who that someone would be. I didn’t want it to be any of my friends, any of my nakamas. Not Lenalee, Lavi, Krory, Miranda, nor Kanda.
Today was a day like any other. I was in the room again, because now, I seem to frequent the room even more than I could count. I suppose it was because of what Master said, and it was unnerving me. Or maybe I was just trying to run away from the fact that I had to turn into the Fourteenth. How pathetic, like always.
I reached out my hand into the air and laughed - a bitter, short laugh.
“Mana… Did he love me or his brother in me?”
I was always wondering about that. Whether Mana was attracted to me, or the Noah in me that made him remember about his brother that was killed.
Heaving myself up from the sofa, I walked the short distance to the mirror walls. The shadow of the Fourteenth was still there, no matter what happens. Reaching out, I let my hands drift near the mirrors. I wanted to touch the mirror, but my memories of that dream of Lenalee didn’t allow me to - whenever I neared the shadow, the feeling of shock came back and I was dragged all the way back into the dream.
“…What… What is it that you want, Fourteenth?
“Why… Why did you betray the Noah and the Earl? What made you decide to kill the Earl?”
My glance was drawn towards the piano’s reflection in the mirror. Timcampy was on top of the piano, like always. Walking slowly towards it, I thought back to the first time I entered the room and played the piano. Someone was singing. It was probably the Fourteenth, although it didn’t sound a lot like him.
Seating myself comfortably on the chair, I raised my hands to the level of the keyboard, and played the melody. I have been playing it almost everyday now, each time hoping that it would lead me to understanding who I am, but it was to no avail.
“Soshite bouyaha nemurini tsuite. [and then the boy falls asleep]
“Ikizuku haino nakano hono o, hitotsu, futatsuto. [the flame inside the breathing ashes, one, then two.]
“Ukabu fukurami itoshii yokogao. [the floating swelling, the dear profile]
“Daichini taruru ikusenno yume, yume. [thousands of dreams, dreams, that pour onto the earth]
“Ginno hitomini yuragu yoruni, umareochita kagayaku omae [on the night when the silver eyes swings, the shining you was born]
“Ikuo kuno tositsukiga, ikutu inoriwo tsuchihe kaeshitemo. [no matter how many millions of years, return the prayers to Earth]
“Watashiha inorituzukeru mou, kakonnokotoni aiwo. [i continue praying, love for the last]
“Tsunaidateni kisuwo. [kiss for the joined hands]”
That was the words, the song, and along with the Melody, it makes the Lullaby. The same thing that Mana and I had created was actually the Fourteenth’s Lullaby. If that was the case, then why did Mana know about this? Master didn’t really give me any explanations for that.
- - - - - - -
“…Lenalee…” I gently nudged the green haired girl sleeping in front of me. “I’m sorry for disturbing you this late, but can you come with me for a while?”
A gently smile.
Lenalee agreed without questioning me. It was the first time I had seen her ever since the night after Cross had told me about the Fourteenth. The whole time afterwards, I was either kept in custody, or spending my time in the secret room that was about to become mine.
Timcampy, the Fourteenth’s golem, floated softly behind us as I led Lenalee into the Ark and before a doorway.
“Go in, Lavi and the others are already inside.” I smiled. “I’ll be joining you shortly after.”
I pushed the door open and allowed Lenalee to step inside. After making sure that she’s inside the great hall, I turned away and headed to the room. I had to change.
After changing, I pressed a key on the piano and opened up a door that led me to the place where all my friends were gathered. I stepped through the door, to find them sitting on the couch, silently waiting for me to make my entrance.
“Allen - kun!” It was Lenalee. “What are you…”
I smiled, waving my right hand, and sat on one of the seats.
“I’m sorry for waking you all up so late, but I need to tell you guys something… I suppose Lavi and Bookman already know about this, but you guys need to know too…”
I shifted in my seat, and Timcampy alighted down upon my shoulders. There was an awkward silence before I finally decided to break it. Leaning forwards slighting and placing my head on my hands, I began my tale. Because I’ve already decided that I would let my friends know about it. Miranda, Lavi, Lenalee, Krory and Kanda.
“You see… What I’m about to tell you… Is very important. It’s about the Fourteenth.
“Remember when Lavi asked me why I was able to restore the Ark? I didn’t know at that time, but now I do. It was because… …I’m the Fourteenth himself. I… I told you how I was orphaned, but Mana took me in, didn’t I? Mana was the Fourteenth’s brother…
“Mana was the Fourteenth’s brother… And after the Fourteenth tried to kill the Earl, they were always on the run. The Fourteenth was Master’s friend, so that’s why Master knows that I am the Fourteenth. Master told me that… The Fourteenth’s memories are implanted in me, possibly during the time that Mana and the Fourteenth was on the run. And, because of this memories… I’ll turn into the Fourteenth myself.
“The memories will consume me, turning me into the Fourteenth. That was the reason why I was able to play the piano and restore the ark. It wasn’t because it was me playing, but it was the Fourteenth inside of me that’s doing it.
“…When I become the Fourteenth, I’ll probably lose all self conscious. I’ll probably be trying to kill the Earl again…”
I sighed. There was more to this, but I really didn’t want to tell them. I didn’t want them to know that when I become the Fourteenth, I’ll have to kill my precious person. To be truthful, I myself don’t know who my ‘precious person’ is.
“Alle -” Lenalee spoke out, breaking the silence that had fallen upon us again.
I waved my hand, cutting her off. “There’s more to this.”
Looking at Lavi, I nodded. “You understand, don’t you? You were there, you heard it for yourself. Tell me, truthfully, what are you going to do if I do end up doing that?”
Turning back, and resting my head in my hands again, I continued.
“Master… He said that I’ll have to kill someone important to me when I become the Fourteenth.”
I looked around at the shocked faces of my friends. Lavi was the only one who looked away when I turned to him - that was to be expected of course.
“What will you do?” I stood up.
“If I was to become the Fourteenth, and try to kill you, what will you do?” I walked to the door which I came from.
“If I was to tell you that you’ll have to kill me no matter what when that happens, will you follow my instructions…?” I stepped through the door, and allowed it to close behind me.
Again, I was alone. Maybe it’s better this way.
This way, I wouldn’t have to worry about becoming close to anyone. This way, I wouldn’t have to worry about killing anyone close to me.
I live only for the Akumas.
But now I also live for the humans.
The humans that I one day will have to kill. I wonder what they are going to do about it. Leaning against the wall, I started humming the Song.
“Soshite bouyaha nemurini tsuite. [and then the boy falls asleep]
“Ikizuku haino nakano hono o, hitotsu, futatsuto. [the flame inside the breathing ashes, one, then two.]
“Ukabu fukurami itoshii yokogao. [the floating swelling, the dear profile]
“Daichini taruru ikusenno yume, yume. [thousands of dreams, dreams, that pour onto the earth]
“Ginno hitomini yuragu yoruni, umareochita kagayaku omae [on the night when the silver eyes swings, the shining you was born]
“Ikuo kuno tositsukiga, ikutu inoriwo tsuchihe kaeshitemo. [no matter how many millions of years, return the prayers to Earth]
“Watashiha inorituzukeru mou, kakonnokotoni aiwo. [i continue praying, love for the last]
“Tsunaidateni kisuwo. [kiss for the joined hands]”
Will I be able to stop the sadness?
Or does everyone have to die in the end?
In the end, must you always sacrifice something in order to protect another thing?
======END======