I have no idea who this is referring to, but I have an opinion. Opinions are like assholes; everyone's got one.
I was in the same situation; Tom's straightedge. I told him upfront that I drank, but not too often. This worked. He didn't want to change me, and I didn't want to drag him to keg parties. When I wanted to drink, he usually wasn't there because it makes him uncomfortable. We care about each other, so we make to always try to be as considerate as possible about things concerning alcohol/drugs.
I think expecting someone who is not straightedge to COMPLETELY give up a lifestyle choice that was previously known is kind of ridiculous. Lie about it, definitely not, but respect their choices and work out a compromise.
Holy shit, Krista, you rock. This is the first time I've seen someone put LJ-drama behind an LJ-cut, and you deserve a hug for it. Thus, without further ado, *hugs for Krista*.
That said, however, I needed a break and read it anyway, and I agree with pretty much everything you've said. It sounds like that relationship has too many problems to be very promising anyway--one person who doesn't want to be with the other as they are, and another who is willing to lie to the first about major lifestyle decisions. Issues!
This reminds me of a different situation. Randy, who used to drink/smoke/do the occassional drugs, entering a relationship with Judy, who "can't see [herself] dating someone who smokes", etc. Randy, being perfectly understanding, gives up such things and doesn't look back. Julie then, without telling Randy, starts smoking (the wacky tobaccy) occassionally. God, I love people.
Just because I have no real drama in my life right now (which I'mforever thankful for)... I have to but in on someone elses... isn't that the way
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I was in the same situation; Tom's straightedge. I told him upfront that I drank, but not too often. This worked. He didn't want to change me, and I didn't want to drag him to keg parties. When I wanted to drink, he usually wasn't there because it makes him uncomfortable. We care about each other, so we make to always try to be as considerate as possible about things concerning alcohol/drugs.
I think expecting someone who is not straightedge to COMPLETELY give up a lifestyle choice that was previously known is kind of ridiculous. Lie about it, definitely not, but respect their choices and work out a compromise.
Real life = adult choices
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That said, however, I needed a break and read it anyway, and I agree with pretty much everything you've said. It sounds like that relationship has too many problems to be very promising anyway--one person who doesn't want to be with the other as they are, and another who is willing to lie to the first about major lifestyle decisions. Issues!
This reminds me of a different situation. Randy, who used to drink/smoke/do the occassional drugs, entering a relationship with Judy, who "can't see [herself] dating someone who smokes", etc. Randy, being perfectly understanding, gives up such things and doesn't look back. Julie then, without telling Randy, starts smoking (the wacky tobaccy) occassionally. God, I love people.
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