Comments | kruszer: I have met my husband...

kruszer

I have met my husband...

Dec 18, 2008 01:28

At least I think I have. I'm scared that he'll get to know me a little better and realize I'm not so easy to live with and he'll just tire of my health obsession and all my issues and run for the coast while he still can.

But I think we've got something here that I've never known before. I'm scared. The last time a relationship was going this ( Read more... )

Comments 15

lmeighmy December 18 2008, 13:19:46 UTC

I found out, when I first met Jeff, that it's when you stop looking, that is when God will bless you with someone.

He also tests us. Sometimes he'll send someone our way who seems perfect, but later we find out that's not the case at all.

I'm not saying this is the case here. I'm saying that the best way could be to just keep praying that if it's right, God will work it out and if it's not, God will close the door / end it.

If this is what God wants for you, He will put your mind at ease about it. Just lean on Him and trust Him to work it all out.

kruszer December 19 2008, 04:25:20 UTC

That's the thing... I really wasn't looking or expecting. In fact I'd noticed just a few weeks earlier that I'd stopped speaking in terms of "when I get married" and had started to say "IF I get married"

lmeighmy December 19 2008, 15:30:56 UTC

I hope he's the one for you! :-)

midiario December 19 2008, 00:20:42 UTC

Us Americans are just that way....we have a way of making Canadian's fall for us ( ... )

kruszer December 19 2008, 04:31:19 UTC

i think the distance actually helps. you're not distracted by physical stuff (not just sexual temptation but just the mundane everyday distractions around you - when you're 'together' all you can do is talk to each other, so you cover a lot more ground a lot faster than you might in person)

Well we're going to be traveling together so if anything will be able to make this for sure, that time together will clarify it all, I'm sure.

midiario December 19 2008, 05:06:03 UTC

Yeah that is true, but that was also the hardest thing for me to get used to once we were married. Not every conversation is exciting. Life is boring and there comes a point when you really have nothing to say. We never hit that point until after we were married where most people would have hit it before.

Where are you traveling to?

springdove December 19 2008, 05:32:13 UTC

i think the distance actually helps. you're not distracted by physical stuff
I was just talking to someone about this yesterday. It's something I like about the internet development...you spend more time getting to know the person for their thoughts and personality, and the physical attraction comes later. This is so important because you have to know you could enjoy the person's company even if you couldn't have a physical relationship.

springdove December 19 2008, 05:28:30 UTC

First of all, I want to say that I'm very excited and happy for you. I was hopeful for you when this first happened, and I'm super-excited that this friendship is continuing. This is one of the most fun times in a relationship. :)

Now, I have several things I want to address or share, so here goes. :)

Maybe I don't know how to accept love. Maybe I'm in love with an ideal that can't exist to the point that when I find the closest thing to that ideal I'm still searching for something to find fault with it. I think I'm messed up.EVERYONE is messed up in some way or another. So yes...you're messed up, but so is everyone else, including Aaron, though you may not have had enough time to discover his yet. As for the rest of this quote, I think the "searcing for something to find fault with" is probably more due to the fear of being vulnerable in that way again due to past deep hurts. You will have to really search your thoughts and heart to see what the root of that is. And remember that there will be NO ONE who has no faults. ( ... )

Part 2 of my ridiculously long response... springdove December 19 2008, 05:29:31 UTC

As for your ages, I really don't see that as a big deal, honestly, if you're in similar life stages. I really think that life stages have more to do with compatibility age-wise than actual age. It sounds like he may have actually had some similar experiences to you and that he is rather mature for a younger adult. There were 12 years (she was 25, and he was 37 when they married) between my mom and dad, and they got along quite well.

Wow, that's a really sweet song. :) I like Geoff Moore.

He's young and I'm his first relationship and people tend to fall really hard and fast their first time, don't they?Well...I think it's good to be cautious because this can definitely be true, ESPECIALLY if a person is very young and hasn't had a chance to figure out who they are and who they want to be. However, it's also true that there are some people who don't need to date very many people (or only the one) to be perfectly happy with the relationship for the rest of their life. Mark is one of these people. I am the only person he has ( ... )

And part 3 of ridiculously long response... springdove December 19 2008, 05:30:26 UTC

So what am I scared of? Why am I hesitating? Why am I so afraid that I'll lose his heart or be unable to love him to the same degree? I'd stopped expecting I'd ever find someone like him, and now that I have, am I normal to be feeling a little off, in light of such an incredible relationship?I think you're scared because you HAVE been hurt before and because vulnerability is VERY scary. There could also be some hesitation because he hasn't given you any specific timeline regarding his feelings. It's wonderful to hear that he intends to ask for your hand, but when is "someday"? It sounds to me like he's giving slightly mixed signals in that he is telling you one thing (e.g. "I'm not ready for a relationship right now"), and he is acting another way (e.g. as if you're entering a relationship right now). I know you don't want to push him, and this getting to know one another period is very important. However, if you feel at all like you're getting mixed signals and that they are making you feel unsure, I don't think it's ( ... )