(no subject)
It goes like this:
You're a little lost Supergirl and sometimes, you wake up speaking a language that died when the girl you think you might've been did. She wasn't a Supergirl. She wasn't strong, not like you are. She couldn't protect herself.
Sometimes, you think maybe she shouldn't have had to, even if she couldn't. Sometimes, you wonder why when it happens to other people it's wrong but when it happened (happens) to you it's just the way things are.
You spend a lot of time trying to avoid those sometimes. You throw yourself into a blur of color and heat and stupidity and let that be who you are because you don't really know who else you could be, and at least this way you know what to expect of yourself. You do your job. You're good at your job, no matter what other people say- you're a fucking professional and this is what you do every day of your life since you could trust what you remembered.
Maybe the girl you used to be didn't die with her world, you think, she died on someone else's. You don't talk about what Darkseid did to you, ever, because there's something about having things done to you that pisses you off. You wish you could say it was because you got traumatized, but that's the truth. It just makes you mad, and when you get mad, really mad, people don't tend to do so great in your general proximity.
You're unstoppable, and everybody else is as substantial as water vapor. You like that. You know you shouldn't, but you do. You like being a god, you like being untouchable and perfect and so, so beautiful because you're not, not really, not like other people are but you don't know how to talk about that so you don't.
You don't talk about a lot. Sometimes you wish people would ask- but you try to avoid those sometimes.
So you exist. You're perfect and glow in the dark and nothing's ever, ever gonna change that, not even dropping out of school because really, who cares? It's not like anyone tried to stop you. Your new team's better. It has Nightwing, but that's not really what you're after. He's fun, he's pretty, you can't deny that and you don't, but at the end of the day he's just water vapor that's smarter than most. He doesn't matter.
A lot of the time, you know you're only scared of Batman when you remember to be; that Diana only makes you pay attention when you know it's what people expect of you. Because Batman's just Bruce Wayne, scared little boy who wakes up with bed head and who keeps his dead kid's clothes in his basement, and Diana's almost as big a fuck up as you, and sometimes your cousin-
-sometimes your cousin's just human, just like he wants to be, and you can't help being a little bit grossed out by that. You can't imagine not wanting to be this way. You can't not being this way.
Except with Boomer, who seems to forget you're bulletproof, sometimes, that you could kill him by breathing the wrong way around him, and you wonder if he tries to avoid his sometimes too.
So he gets you on his team, and you're pretty sure it's because he wants in your Superpanties but that's just how Boomer works, and you don't care. And you go on your first mission and you manage not to fuck everything up for almost a whole day.
And then you do.
And the last thing you think before you pass out isn't I don't want to die or Boomer, I'm sorry I wrecked your career or even Mommy?
Finally, you think, and when you wake up you're kinda disappointed.