So I suppose I can blame this all on Borders and flutes.
I visited Borders on Saturday, and bought a book called "Believe in Me", by Jessica Inclan. I had seen it on the New Paperbacks shelf, and it looked intriguing. All fantasy-witchy-superpowered human kind of thing that really interests me. I read that it was under a genre called "Paranormal Romance", which made me nervous because I really don't like romance novels, but I was willing to give this book a shot. I liked the premise, and I really liked the female protagonist. ("If Felix is pleasure first, business later, Sayblee is business first, last, and always. She'd been the smart one in their magic classes, the one he couldn't impress, couldn't win over with a smile or a compliment or twelve...").
The first half of the book was great. Good tension, appropriately slow-but-still-moving plot development, and realistic character study and interplay. The author's use of language was very vivid; evocative, with the two voices nearly singing their personalities to me. Even the sexual endeavors were tastefully handled and artistically portrayed without being "Part A -> Part B -> Liquid C and D". I couldn't wait to finish the book.
So imagine my disappointment, and outright pissyness, when the second half turned out to be a step (or twelve) backwards. Right at the turning point of the story, the duo lost all the development they had made both individually and as a couple. They went from being dynamic and unique into a "Tamahome! Miaka!" cliche. Felix lost all charm, and Sayblee was like a zombie. And then there was a sex scene that occurred right in the middle of the action! Why on earth would two [normally] well-grounded characters have sex when the Main Villain is close and The Epic Battle is being fought? There were cliches and cheats and a deus ex machina and it didn't make sense because the author had obviously lost interest this far into the story but didn't want to tell anyone ARRRRGGGG so not good!
Needless to say, I finished the book feeling extremely frustrated. I was so mad that I actually threw the book on the floor and said something to this effect: "Goddammit, that sucked! I could write a better ending than that! Hell, I could write a better story than that!"
And I realized that, good God, I probably could. I probably should because I'm tired of reading crap. I'm tired of seeing (and buying) books in the stores that have no business being viewed by the public when they obviously hadn't been viewed by an editor. And I'm tired of just ranting when I am capable of actually doing something.
So I'm going to write a "paranormal romance" novel. Because if Ms. Inclan can do it, and get published, then I can do no less than try.
Part of this sudden burst of inspiration is my new flute (still as of yet unnamed). She has since rekindled my passion for music, which has been thoroughly humbling because I haven't played as frequently as I should. But music is so tied into my writing that I almost can't have one without the other. My flute's going to be a strong source of inspiration, and thus warranted a mention here.
There are so many things I'm doing these days - aikido, belly dancing, writing, music, studying, and oh yeah WORK! - that I don't know how I'm going to do this. But I'm really going to try because I need this. I just need to prove to myself that I can write a good story and finish it.