i usually go back and forth between thinking jealousy is this awful demon and thinking it's just another emotion and there's no reason people shouldn't feel it. i think wrath and greed are far worse, but perhaps when one or the other or both are coupled with envy, they become corrosive and most unhealthy. jealousy is a bad thing, but i don't tend to think of it as a sign that you don't love enough; perhaps that you just love differently, or haven't had decent love-role models, or haven't expressed that love properly (for instance, unrequited love or secret love can be really jealous
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I get you on the unrequited/secret love: I've been the most jealous in my life when I'm not with the person at all. I think this is because one of the potential components of jealousy is envy. There's jealousy that comes from fear of losing someone, and that's what you get in a relationship, and then envy-jealousy, which is worse when your feelings are unrequited and there's someone that genuinely has that relationship you want with the person
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This is really interesting. I remember thinking that one of the few plosive elements if the first SATC film was that it did show how cheating doesn't have to mean the end of a rrelationship.
Ages ago, back in my CSI days, I wrote a fic about a monogamous character in a relationship with a polyamourous character which had kindnof a open ending - they were still together, but possibly not for much longer. A LOT of the comments were outright blaming the poly character for everything, which was unfortunate
Oooooh I'm so glad that you wrote this. I love the idea an angsty fic where one half of a pair learns to accept and even enjoy their partner's desire to be with other people as well as them. One of the most (in my opinion) romantic Arthur/Eames fics I ever read was Too Much and Not Enough, in which Eames arranges a gang bang for Arthur. <3 But I'd LOVE to read more fic dealing with the development of this kind of relationship.
I have sooooo many thoughts on fandom's definition of two people who are "meant to be together". Too many thoughts to go into here, actually. I mean, I'm a total sucker for sappy romance, but I have several problems with the idea of two people (in fic or IRL) being destined for each other.
I loooove all kinds of consensual non-monogamy even (especially) if they don't ever involve cheating! And especially portrayals of compersion/frubble/the other partner enjoying their partner's happiness in their relationships with others.
The "meant to be together" super intense relationships can seem kind of claustrophobic sometimes. I like fic that acknowledges the unhealthy side when portraying that kind of relationship. Even in monogamy, people have friends, they have family (born or chosen).
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"Time to Change"
http://archiveofourown.org/works/113546
Not really my kink, though, because my mission is to show working poly couples in my stories *G*
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Ages ago, back in my CSI days, I wrote a fic about a monogamous character in a relationship with a polyamourous character which had kindnof a open ending - they were still together, but possibly not for much longer. A LOT of the comments were outright blaming the poly character for everything, which was unfortunate
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We're culturally trained to blame a person who wants to be non-monogamous. There's so much assumption. Monogamy = commitment, fidelity = monogamy...
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I have sooooo many thoughts on fandom's definition of two people who are "meant to be together". Too many thoughts to go into here, actually. I mean, I'm a total sucker for sappy romance, but I have several problems with the idea of two people (in fic or IRL) being destined for each other.
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The "meant to be together" super intense relationships can seem kind of claustrophobic sometimes. I like fic that acknowledges the unhealthy side when portraying that kind of relationship. Even in monogamy, people have friends, they have family (born or chosen).
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