(no subject)
I envy you who have loving, nurturing parents. All of you who have maintained positive relationships with them. All of you with parents who say what they mean, and genuinely respect you and treat you fairly. Many of you, even very close friends, could call me spoilled. I get a lot of crap for doing nothing, it's true. If I sold my instruments, I could pay off tuition until I get my Bachelors. But that's just material stuff. So many more people out there are spoilled in a different way. I'm definately not saying I'm the only personm with issues with their parents. I know Sabrina, you have had issues with your mom, and Sarah, your dad hasn't always been there for you guys. Hell, most of you have had issues with your parents. But I can assure you, none of you had the cold childhood I did. I can't remember the last sign of affection I ever received from either of them. Maybe when Gramma died, but a death shouldn't be the only reason for a good turn in a relationship, though I do miss her, too. I don't understand what's so horribly wrong with me that they can't show one sign of affection, or pride in me. Mom yells at me for stuff I don't even know, or I didn't even know I was doing wrong. For some reason they expect me to be psychic. Dad gets mad, and doesn't tell me. He just complains to mom, and she yells at me. It's always yelling. I hate yelling. I never just yell at them for no reason. The second I come home after not seeing them for a month, it is almost automatically yelling at me for one thing or another. It can't be "nice to see you", or "How has school been.". It's not like I had bad grades. I had an A average. Unlike most kids, it was my parents that caused all of my personality disorders. People didn't call me fat at school. People called me fat at home. If ever I ate anything unhealthy, "Eat that, and you'll finally be as big as a house...". And the names I've been called. If my relationship with my parents doesn't put me in therapy by the time I'm 30, I'll be surprised. I just wish sometimes life could have been normal.