[one-shot] Blame it All on Me
BLAME IT ALL ON ME
A RyoDa/JunDa one-shot
unbeta-ed
------------------------
I love Ryo. They knew. And he knew about this too. But what is more important , he loves me too. How do i know? Like the elder's saying ; actions speaks louder than words. Those kisses we shared, those touches he gave me, or even.. the way he looked at me. I can tell that Nishikido Ryo is indeed in love with me. Life was perfect.
But somehow i find it not enough. I need a clarification. I want him to say it out loud that i am his and he is mine and we belong to each other. So i waited. I waited for him, to say something - anything to explain the very question that have been bugging inside my head;
"What are we?"
Friends? We've gone to far from what friends would do.
Lovers? It sounds better but i seriously have no idea.
Im confused. But he's way to distracted to even notice how confuse i am.
Fate seriously love meddling into mortal's life, isn't it?. So, while Ryo was gone for field-work for a few months, I met Junno.
Junno, a waiter in a cafe i bumped to... is a very cheerful, light-hearted guy. Totally the opposite of me. But whenever im with him, i felt light, too. His personality somehow affected mine. It is mostly a miracle-like moment, of how the moment he smiles, my heart fluttered. I like him. I really do.
But what i like the most about him was, unlike Ryo, he confessed to me. Eventhough he knew im in love with someone else. He confessed. He didnt keep it all to himself. He made me feel like im actually his.
And i find myself falling deeper into Junno. I let him wrapped his arms around me. I let him took care of me. I let him have me.
I thought that was it. I've chosen Junno and we're together, end of story. Until one day, on our date. We were walking down the lane when Junno suddenly stopped walking. By reflex, i stopped too and looked at him curiously, straight to his eyes.
He then cupped my face, saying something like how beautiful i was that evening. He then slowly leaned down, to catch my lips. Seconds before any contact, when i heard someone.
"Tatsuya??"
It was Ryo. He came back as soon as he finished his work, i guess. Because he's covered in sweat and still clad with his uniform.
My brain froze with the sight of Ryo. Hurtful expression could be seen clearly in his eyes. I tried to say something like 'It was not like how you imagine!'
But how could i? It is indeed exactly as whatever scene he's imaging right then. So, i could only watch when Ryo turned around and started running.
Few moments later.. i do not know what got into me, but i realized that i was running.. Running after Ryo. I ran after Ryo, totaly ignoring Junno who has been watching since the very start.
If only i turn around that time, i could have seen, the same hurtful expression on Ryo's face before he rana way, was on Junno's.
At the end of the day, i couldn't find Ryo. And when i went back to the place, Junno was no where in sight.
On that fateful day, i broke Ryo's heart, i broke Junno's heart.
But what im absolutely sure of, i've broken mine too, with the loss of both men i have loved and will always love.
Is it wrong for me to seek for some confirmation? Ryo, i just need a sentence from you. But you never say.
Is it wrong for me to find someone who understands my needs? Junno, If only i met you earlier...
As a conclusion, i am not to be blame. But don't worry. I am blaming myself for all the things that i've done and the hearts i've broken.
......
......
I am blaming, me.
**the end**
So.. my first Ryoda..Its Ueda's POV. IM NOT GOOD IN FIRST POV.
i hope its good. and its angst cause.. me PMS right now. Sorry for all the grammatical errors. I dont have a beta-yet. And.. anyone interested to be my beta?? cause Rai's kinda busy. Anyone interested, contact me yuujinjin@live.com
comments are loved<3,
Love, Aira.
A RyoDa/JunDa one-shot
unbeta-ed
------------------------
I love Ryo. They knew. And he knew about this too. But what is more important , he loves me too. How do i know? Like the elder's saying ; actions speaks louder than words. Those kisses we shared, those touches he gave me, or even.. the way he looked at me. I can tell that Nishikido Ryo is indeed in love with me. Life was perfect.
But somehow i find it not enough. I need a clarification. I want him to say it out loud that i am his and he is mine and we belong to each other. So i waited. I waited for him, to say something - anything to explain the very question that have been bugging inside my head;
"What are we?"
Friends? We've gone to far from what friends would do.
Lovers? It sounds better but i seriously have no idea.
Im confused. But he's way to distracted to even notice how confuse i am.
Fate seriously love meddling into mortal's life, isn't it?. So, while Ryo was gone for field-work for a few months, I met Junno.
Junno, a waiter in a cafe i bumped to... is a very cheerful, light-hearted guy. Totally the opposite of me. But whenever im with him, i felt light, too. His personality somehow affected mine. It is mostly a miracle-like moment, of how the moment he smiles, my heart fluttered. I like him. I really do.
But what i like the most about him was, unlike Ryo, he confessed to me. Eventhough he knew im in love with someone else. He confessed. He didnt keep it all to himself. He made me feel like im actually his.
And i find myself falling deeper into Junno. I let him wrapped his arms around me. I let him took care of me. I let him have me.
I thought that was it. I've chosen Junno and we're together, end of story. Until one day, on our date. We were walking down the lane when Junno suddenly stopped walking. By reflex, i stopped too and looked at him curiously, straight to his eyes.
He then cupped my face, saying something like how beautiful i was that evening. He then slowly leaned down, to catch my lips. Seconds before any contact, when i heard someone.
"Tatsuya??"
It was Ryo. He came back as soon as he finished his work, i guess. Because he's covered in sweat and still clad with his uniform.
My brain froze with the sight of Ryo. Hurtful expression could be seen clearly in his eyes. I tried to say something like 'It was not like how you imagine!'
But how could i? It is indeed exactly as whatever scene he's imaging right then. So, i could only watch when Ryo turned around and started running.
Few moments later.. i do not know what got into me, but i realized that i was running.. Running after Ryo. I ran after Ryo, totaly ignoring Junno who has been watching since the very start.
If only i turn around that time, i could have seen, the same hurtful expression on Ryo's face before he rana way, was on Junno's.
At the end of the day, i couldn't find Ryo. And when i went back to the place, Junno was no where in sight.
On that fateful day, i broke Ryo's heart, i broke Junno's heart.
But what im absolutely sure of, i've broken mine too, with the loss of both men i have loved and will always love.
Is it wrong for me to seek for some confirmation? Ryo, i just need a sentence from you. But you never say.
Is it wrong for me to find someone who understands my needs? Junno, If only i met you earlier...
As a conclusion, i am not to be blame. But don't worry. I am blaming myself for all the things that i've done and the hearts i've broken.
......
......
I am blaming, me.
**the end**
So.. my first Ryoda..Its Ueda's POV. IM NOT GOOD IN FIRST POV.
i hope its good. and its angst cause.. me PMS right now. Sorry for all the grammatical errors. I dont have a beta-yet. And.. anyone interested to be my beta?? cause Rai's kinda busy. Anyone interested, contact me yuujinjin@live.com
comments are loved<3,
Love, Aira.