The way of stubborn idiots
Chapter Eight - The way of stubborn idiots
Himchans eyes remained fixed on him his lips trembling as he clenched his teeth together in anger.
Jongup still looked from one to the other his eyes furrowed and a slightly uncomfortable glance in his eyes.
“Hyungs?” his voice flew through the silence while his fingers kept tangling the cord of his hoodie nervously.
Yong Guk didn’t turn to look at him let alone respond and Himchan did the same as he kept staring at him waiting for an answer.
He drew a deep breath still struggling to find a respond.
“What do you want me to respond to that?” the words left his lips unconsciously, directed towards himself more than anyone around him but Himchans eyes widened.
“You even got to ask? Are you serious?”
His voice cracked at the speed the questions shot from his mouth.
Yong Guk pressed his yaw together, teeth grinding over another as he glanced at Zelo from the corner of his eyes.
He had hurt him, obviously, deeply, he clearly knew he had and he was subtle enough to know that a simple apology wouldn’t do.
However he still couldn’t make out what Himchans problem was and he wasn’t going to apologize for things he didn’t even know he had done let alone understood.
“So you wanna tell me it’s entirely my fault?” Yong Guk asked, forcing his voice to sound strong though his knees started to feel weak.
“Whose is it then?” Himchan hissed.
“Well what about you’re fucking games! What about the snorting and scuffing! What about the fucking looks you gave me! And what about what you did to Zelo!”
His words flooded off his mouth unstoppably as his eyes narrowed and all the memories of Himchans actions started to pound in his head again.
“First of I didn’t do anything to him. It was mutual believe it or not and second…” Himchan didn’t even get to finish his sentence as Yong Guks palm landed flat on his face, so forcefully his head snapped to the side.
Himchan turned his head back, his cheek slowly gaining a reddish color, his eyes were furious as he glared at Yong Guk.
“You fucking tossed him away! Why do you even care if we fucked or not?!”
Jongups eyes widened and he stared at Himchan then at Zelo and his mouth opened and closed as the information sank into his brain.
He looked at Zelo with a slightly shocked expression and shook his head wildly in disbelieve when he looked back at Himchan.
“I never tossed him away.”
Yong Guk mumbled under his breath and his eyes wandered off to Zelo again.
The maknaes eyes were fixed on the floor as tears rolled down his cheeks, body turned away from Jongup who was still trying to grasp the situation.
Zelos cheeks were flushed in embarrassment but Jongup robbed next to him again and placed a hand on his shoulder when his suppressed sobs started filling the room.
“Say what? You fucking tossed him away and then you couldn’t even deal with the fucking asshole and coward you’ve become! You’re the fucking worst Yong Guk and you don’t even see it! You play your own sick games all by yourself!”
Zelo flinched at the repetition of the word that probably cut and stung painfully in his heart.
Yong Guks nails dug into the palms of his hands as he clenched his fists tighter at the sighted of Zelo getting smaller and smaller next to Jongup.
He wanted to smash Himchans head in for having this conversation in front of him.
“However you put it if you got a problem with me why involve Zelo? Did you even think of him?”
His words trembled as they made their way pass his lips.
Himchan opened his mouth to respond but was cut off before any noise made it past his lips.
“You wouldn’t care before why would you care now?!”
The maknes voice vibrated as he shouted the words towards him.
Jongup flinched at the sudden yell and drew back a little.
Yong Guk was completely taken aback by the maknaes outburst.
It wasn’t true, it just wasn’t true.
He had cared before, he did care now.
And that seemed to be the problem.
He hadn’t love the other before and caused him pain by trying to protect him.
Now he did love him, he clearly knew he did, he felt it in every cell of his body but nothing seemed to change.
Back then he had thought that if only he loved the younger boy things would work out on their own but in reality love alone didn’t fix anything, not even in the slightest.
Why was it that when it was revolving around Zelo and him he didn’t seem to make things right, always ending up with both of them hurting.
The door swung open and a cheerfully laughing Youngjae walked through only to stop in his tracks when he saw the scenario in front of him.
Daehyun bumped into his back not expecting the other to suddenly freeze.
“What’s going on here?” the spike haired boy stuttered.
He scanned the room, his brows furrowed.
Zelo was sitting on the floor in front of the TV, hands clasped around the controller his eyes watery and red.
Jongup was beside him, mouth opened wide as he stared at the older two squabblers, Himchan with an obvious red bruise on his cheek, Yong Guk not far from him with his hands clenched into fists.
The blond boy sighed and rolled his eyes, then shook his head.
Daehyun peaked out from behind his friends back looking from the scenario in front of him to Youngjae and back to the others.
Youngjae pressed his palm against his temble as if his head was in pain, he squint his eyes then looked at the hyungs.
“When I said you needed to sort it out I meant you needed to talk not to turn this into world war three!”
His voice was drifting through the room; all eyes were fixed on him.
Daehyun behind him looked like a beat puppy even though he wasn’t the one being scolded.
“I don’t get what’s wrong with you but you guys need to talk. Seriously talk and fix whatever is going on with you.” He looked over to Zelo who was still sitting on the floor, Jongup kneeling next to him patting Zelos back to mend his sobs.
The maknaes eyes were like glued to his lips as he spoke, a slight anxious fascination in his puffy red eyes.
“Especially the two of you!” He scowled at the hyungs.
He turned on his heel, grabbing Daehyungs hand as he stomped out of the room dragging the other along.
“Stupid kinder garden!” was the last thing that could be heard before the front door slammed shut.
“What is he? Our mother?” Himchan said more to himself than to anyone else in the room.
Yong Guk dropped down on the couch and sighed, burying his face in his hands for a moment.
“I think he’s right hyung.” Zelo mumbled.
Himchan looked at Zelo, Yong Guk couldn’t quiet grasp what kind of expression it was that covered his face.
Somehow it seemed unfamiliarly sympathetic and in a way caring.
“Suit yourself.”
Himchans voice was rather soft, the words weren’t as sharp as Yong Guk had expected.
He turned on his heel and walked out the room slowly, throwing Zelo a short glance over his shoulder before he disappeared into the hallway, his door slamming shut shortly after.
Jongups hand lay on Zelos shoulder as he bend forward, sticking their heads together.
He tried to whisper but he’d never been good at it, the words always being one notch too loud so this time as well Yong Guk heard them.
“Do you want me to stay?” He asked.
Zelos shook his head, wrapping his arms around Jongup quickly, squeezing him a little before he let go.
Jongup looked at him for a moment, giving the younger a second to reconsider but Zelo smiled at him and nodded, showing Jongup he wanted him to leave.
The older boy nodded back and rose of the floor, his expression was a mixture of concern and anxiety when he looked at his leader and his eyes begged him not to hurt the maknae.
Yong Guk tried to smile at the younger to ensure him he wouldn’t but he knew his eyes showed his doubt.
Silence fell upon them as they were all alone, neither of them able to utter a word.
The TV kept repeating a series of cheering noises, the sign of “Level up” displayed on the screen in bold letters.
Yong Guk looked at Zelo, took in the picture in front of him, the dry traces of tears on Zelos cheeks, their reddishness, the watery, red eyes and the way he rolled his bottom lip between his teeth.
His legs were pulled all the way up to his chest, arms wrapped around his knees, his head pressed against them as he stared off into the room.
Yong Guk wanted to crawl over and wrap his arms around him, to hold him as tight as he could, to feel the others heartbeat throbbing in his chest and against his own.
Instead he folded his hands between his knees, lend forward and left his head hanging.
He kept staring at his fingers as he ran his thumb over the soft skin of his hand, his nails digging into it, leaving red traces behind.
His lips parted and he barely felt the words travel from his throat.
“I never wanted to hurt you.” His voice was thin as the words passed his lips.
“I reckoned that.” The younger mumbled into the fabric of his sleeve.
And then the silence retrieved.