Falling
Hey Kids,
I realise it is verging on a year since I last posted here. In that time I have been through a variety of emotions, but mostly i have been happy and well, and sadly, being happy and well has always translated into being artistically unproductive, for me. I have been thinking lately that I should start posting in here again as a way of getting myself to actually write. Now, I hadn't formally decided that's what I was going to do, but then this morning I was reading some conversations I had a couple of years back with a (now ex) friend.
I was thinking about how well we got along, and how our different personalities made our friendship difficult sometimes. A few years ago, when I was going through the things anyone who reads this journal knows way too much about, we had a huge falling out, and I came out of it feeling so negatively towards her, but now I regret losing the good part of our friendship and I wonder so much about what part circumstance plays in people falling apart from one another. Is it worth a risk re-uniting with a friend who hurt you very badly and might do it again? I guess there's no universal answer to that. I wonder if, if my life hadn't exploded so drastically and spun so far out of my control (or seemed to) whether we would have still splintered apart the way we did?
Also, do people ever really change? Do we ever really get over the baggage and damage we carry or do we just find other ways of pushing it away, so that it simply manifests in other way? Are our personalities and discomforts constants, things our consciousnesses both battle with and don't, if we're sort of complacent, or even self destructive somewhere inside?
And pretend that the search for another new world was well worth the burning of mine....
I think that forgiveness is essential, and that we do it about equally for ourselves as for the person whom we forgive. Although I am no longer angry, I worry that if I reunited with this friend, I would be setting myself up to be hurt again. I don't need that craziness in my life, but I can always use more friends I can actually talk to. I guess I'll just have to decide if it's worth the risk or not.
Luckily, even if you were brave (or stupid enough) to put yourself through that, you were spared some because the power was cut off in my building for 3 hours just as I was in the middle of it, and by the time it was back on, the mood had passed.
In other news, if you don't have the new Josh Ritter album, you should get it. It's softer than historical conquests, but so so beautiful. Very southern inspired, which shouldn't surprise me with him, I suppose. There's even a waltz on it.
On the video game front, Red Dead Redemption is currently sucking a lot of my time. An open world game that allows you to live out the cliches of every spaghetti western ever made? How can you go wrong?
I'll try to update more. I think I want to.
Until Next Time,
I'm Ktwilight
I realise it is verging on a year since I last posted here. In that time I have been through a variety of emotions, but mostly i have been happy and well, and sadly, being happy and well has always translated into being artistically unproductive, for me. I have been thinking lately that I should start posting in here again as a way of getting myself to actually write. Now, I hadn't formally decided that's what I was going to do, but then this morning I was reading some conversations I had a couple of years back with a (now ex) friend.
I was thinking about how well we got along, and how our different personalities made our friendship difficult sometimes. A few years ago, when I was going through the things anyone who reads this journal knows way too much about, we had a huge falling out, and I came out of it feeling so negatively towards her, but now I regret losing the good part of our friendship and I wonder so much about what part circumstance plays in people falling apart from one another. Is it worth a risk re-uniting with a friend who hurt you very badly and might do it again? I guess there's no universal answer to that. I wonder if, if my life hadn't exploded so drastically and spun so far out of my control (or seemed to) whether we would have still splintered apart the way we did?
Also, do people ever really change? Do we ever really get over the baggage and damage we carry or do we just find other ways of pushing it away, so that it simply manifests in other way? Are our personalities and discomforts constants, things our consciousnesses both battle with and don't, if we're sort of complacent, or even self destructive somewhere inside?
And pretend that the search for another new world was well worth the burning of mine....
I think that forgiveness is essential, and that we do it about equally for ourselves as for the person whom we forgive. Although I am no longer angry, I worry that if I reunited with this friend, I would be setting myself up to be hurt again. I don't need that craziness in my life, but I can always use more friends I can actually talk to. I guess I'll just have to decide if it's worth the risk or not.
Luckily, even if you were brave (or stupid enough) to put yourself through that, you were spared some because the power was cut off in my building for 3 hours just as I was in the middle of it, and by the time it was back on, the mood had passed.
In other news, if you don't have the new Josh Ritter album, you should get it. It's softer than historical conquests, but so so beautiful. Very southern inspired, which shouldn't surprise me with him, I suppose. There's even a waltz on it.
On the video game front, Red Dead Redemption is currently sucking a lot of my time. An open world game that allows you to live out the cliches of every spaghetti western ever made? How can you go wrong?
I'll try to update more. I think I want to.
Until Next Time,
I'm Ktwilight