A brief history
When I was small, I was in a way quite a lonely child. But I coped. Apart from Mandarin, I was academically gifted, and my mum really encouraged that. Maybe 'overly' encouraged, or encouraged in a wrong way at times, but she meant well. Maybe one day I'll write an entry about this.
I went to nursery as usual when I was 4 and kindergarden when I was 5, then I had a car accident and I broke both my legs. Couldn't walk for 6 months. As usual as when I was that age, my mind blanks out most of it. I saw my brother across the road, and somehow I just ran across the carpark. Luckily it was a carpark and cars move slowly in a carpark. I remember the ride in the car just after, which wasn't very pleasant. It must have been even more unplesant for my parents. I remember sights and smells from the hospital.
But I digress. I went back to school at the end of the year, and realised I was good enough academically to graduate to Year/Primary 1. But the government for some reason didn't allow 5-year olds to go into Primary 1, so I took a year off school. This was good academically, by the end of that year I was doing Year/Primary 5 Maths/Science/English, but it probably wasn't very good for my social skills. I have always been a shy child, and I don't really mix well with my peers. I preferred to hang out with older people, who were less irrational and immature.
I didn't make many friends in Primary school, until Primary 4. In Singapore, there's a test in which if you passed you could get into the Gifted Education Programme. There's a lot of stigma atached to this, all the talk about elitism and stuff, but it helps to have peers who are more likely to empathise with your situation. That said, I didn't have many friends then either.
I really enjoyed games like catching, and football, and basketball, and I was pretty decent at it. But I never really made any friends whatsoever. I never really fitted in. When I was 10, I made friends with a girl. Unfortunately, as a boy, you can't really do that; its clearly because you 'fancied' the girl. But I was clueless, and my heart was telling me different. I was clueless for a long long time. Even now I'm pretty clueless as to how social situatios work.
To cut the long story short, I help hands with her one time, and the teasing was terrible. It really put me off physical contact for a long long time. It probably unconsciously puts me of it now. In any case, its really ingrained now, I try to change, but I guess its not easy. I really like hugs, and all sorts of physical contact, holding hands, but that I guess is really taboo. Or at least, I've no idea if they are taboo. People have different ideas of what is allowed or disallowed. One just has to play it by ear.
In the end, we sort of 'got together' with the help of another friend. But that's really an ill-fated decision. I never understood what it meant to be 'together'. And I guess, really, that's not what I was looking for. Its actually really painful to talk about this, because of more recent events. But I have to face them. And I should.
Probably the closest I got to friends were the teachers. But there is a power differential there. And you don't really get close. Which is finally come to the crux of this. I started thinking about these things, or rather, I had to inspiration to write about this because I started adding my teachers to facebook. In some senses, we are both adults now, but the power situation still lingers. I wonder if we can be friends, and how good friends. Who knows what's going to happen.
In some sense, in secondary school, they supported me so much. I've got to mention 'Hasty' as well, because he helped me through my secondary school life. But I guess, only teachers can help when one suffers a massive breakdown in class. I even sometimes inadvertently took the day off school, and spent the time talking to one of my teachers. In some senses, I was lucky I was still pretty good at school, because that meant that all these school cutting didn't affect my grades too much. The head of department even allowed me to cut 5 weeks of school to go for a maths summer camp in America - and even helped to fund it! That's really amazing, and I'm always grateful for the chance. I always hung around the staff room way more than necessary, and my teachers accommodated me even though they had so much work to do. You guys are really my heroes.
That said, one of my teachers is now studying in London for a year! The thing is, she has a dog, who goes around with her all the time. What's the best way to accommodate a dog in Cambridge?
I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride
And to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be
I went to nursery as usual when I was 4 and kindergarden when I was 5, then I had a car accident and I broke both my legs. Couldn't walk for 6 months. As usual as when I was that age, my mind blanks out most of it. I saw my brother across the road, and somehow I just ran across the carpark. Luckily it was a carpark and cars move slowly in a carpark. I remember the ride in the car just after, which wasn't very pleasant. It must have been even more unplesant for my parents. I remember sights and smells from the hospital.
But I digress. I went back to school at the end of the year, and realised I was good enough academically to graduate to Year/Primary 1. But the government for some reason didn't allow 5-year olds to go into Primary 1, so I took a year off school. This was good academically, by the end of that year I was doing Year/Primary 5 Maths/Science/English, but it probably wasn't very good for my social skills. I have always been a shy child, and I don't really mix well with my peers. I preferred to hang out with older people, who were less irrational and immature.
I didn't make many friends in Primary school, until Primary 4. In Singapore, there's a test in which if you passed you could get into the Gifted Education Programme. There's a lot of stigma atached to this, all the talk about elitism and stuff, but it helps to have peers who are more likely to empathise with your situation. That said, I didn't have many friends then either.
I really enjoyed games like catching, and football, and basketball, and I was pretty decent at it. But I never really made any friends whatsoever. I never really fitted in. When I was 10, I made friends with a girl. Unfortunately, as a boy, you can't really do that; its clearly because you 'fancied' the girl. But I was clueless, and my heart was telling me different. I was clueless for a long long time. Even now I'm pretty clueless as to how social situatios work.
To cut the long story short, I help hands with her one time, and the teasing was terrible. It really put me off physical contact for a long long time. It probably unconsciously puts me of it now. In any case, its really ingrained now, I try to change, but I guess its not easy. I really like hugs, and all sorts of physical contact, holding hands, but that I guess is really taboo. Or at least, I've no idea if they are taboo. People have different ideas of what is allowed or disallowed. One just has to play it by ear.
In the end, we sort of 'got together' with the help of another friend. But that's really an ill-fated decision. I never understood what it meant to be 'together'. And I guess, really, that's not what I was looking for. Its actually really painful to talk about this, because of more recent events. But I have to face them. And I should.
Probably the closest I got to friends were the teachers. But there is a power differential there. And you don't really get close. Which is finally come to the crux of this. I started thinking about these things, or rather, I had to inspiration to write about this because I started adding my teachers to facebook. In some senses, we are both adults now, but the power situation still lingers. I wonder if we can be friends, and how good friends. Who knows what's going to happen.
In some sense, in secondary school, they supported me so much. I've got to mention 'Hasty' as well, because he helped me through my secondary school life. But I guess, only teachers can help when one suffers a massive breakdown in class. I even sometimes inadvertently took the day off school, and spent the time talking to one of my teachers. In some senses, I was lucky I was still pretty good at school, because that meant that all these school cutting didn't affect my grades too much. The head of department even allowed me to cut 5 weeks of school to go for a maths summer camp in America - and even helped to fund it! That's really amazing, and I'm always grateful for the chance. I always hung around the staff room way more than necessary, and my teachers accommodated me even though they had so much work to do. You guys are really my heroes.
That said, one of my teachers is now studying in London for a year! The thing is, she has a dog, who goes around with her all the time. What's the best way to accommodate a dog in Cambridge?
I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride
And to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be