Monday Analysis of Life In General
It must be allergy season again because my nose looks like Rudolph's and my eyes feel like they're going to burn themselves out of their own sockets. And the victims? Myself and the tissue box. I think this week's biggest investment will probably be TISSUES. At least I'm in high spirits - as long as a cough doesn't develop I think I can still manage to go to work.
Van is sick too...but I doubt his illness has anything to do with allergies. I'm HOPING he took medicine like I told him to - even though I know that men hate taking any sort of medication until they know (and admit to) being really bad off. Yes, I'm sure he can take care of himself...but when you really care about someone, you want to look out for them, ya know? It's tough being hours away from him when I really wish I could simply pack my bags and knock on his door and proudly proclaim, "Dr. Qing is here!!" I think by the end of the day we'd probably be at each other's throats after arguing the necessity of medicine - myself being pro-medicine of course, and he for the cons. So! If you're reading this, get better soon!! *poke poke*
Puraturi CDS are on their way to my house as I type this - I'm hoping that it has all their good songs on those two CDs I bought...and if not, at least I'll hear some new stuffs and support the artist. ^-^ They have a new photo album book that I want sooooo soooo BAD - and not just because I'm a ravaging fangirl, but they ALWAYS have cute pictures that inspire me to draw!! When I picked up that Shoxx magazine at Megacon with a special edition 20-page feature of Plastic Tree, I had already picked out at least three pictures I want to draw in the near future. :D
I think I'm going to try finishing that requested drawing of Kyo for Katie this week - the only thing that really needs to be finished is that godforsaken palm-tree hair of his from his Yokan costume. The face and everything looks great...but the hair will most surely be challenging due to the extreme contrast in the lighting of the picture. X-x
Oya...did I mention that my brother is getting married? I haven't heard a date just yet...and I don't even think he's proposed - but I really do hope he's happy with his girlfriend and isn't just marrying her for the children's sake. To them I say..."Gambatte kudasai!"
And speaking of the children...my niece was so adorable yesterday. Although going to church made me nauseous, I was glad I went just for the sake of visiting with my niece, Courtney. Ever since I had to put her in time out that one day after saving her from a falling shelf that she had been poking at (regardless of our admonitions), she seemed to realize that I really do care about her despite her eccentricities. It seemed she wanted to do everything with me - like I had my own little shadow, lol. Quite frankly, I didn't mind too much while she was pretty well-behaved, and I know her home-life isn't as stable as it should be unfortunately. My mom said we're of the same free spirit - and when I thought about it, she had a point. I've realized that my niece loves to color CONSTANTLY - she feels naked without her crayon and something to color on. Even at dinner we have to remind her to eat instead of coloring on her napkin. ^-^'' I decided to take it upon myself to show her how to draw some things if she'll let me. I always wondered what my artistic skills would be like now if I were taught properly from the beginning - the least I can do is try to help my niece learn what she can while she's still interested in artsy things. ^-^V
As for matters concerning my father...well, looks like I didn't have much of a choice in avoiding his Valentine's Day gift. He sent a certified envelope to my grandfather's house - apparently he was thinking for once, probably knowing that I wouldn't sign for the package because I'd be at work and so would my mother. Little does he know I wouldn't have signed for it period. I was rather against opening the package to begin with - but due to my grandparents' curiosity and pestilence to go ahead and open it...I caved to the peer pressure and opened it. There was a fake WHITE rose and a cheap card included that contained a ben franklin. (Aka $100) First and foremost...the rose LOOKED fake - and a white rose, for those of you who don't know, symbolizes DEATH...the card had no artistic thought to it whatsoever, and the lone $100 bill looked so tainted among all the fake gifts included.
I know it's the thought that counts...but what ticks me off is that there was no thought put into this...only an afterthought. When he originally called my grandparents to tell me to come pick up my gift, it was AFTER Valentine's Day - and wtf is up with him not even trying to DELIVER it to me PERSONALLY? Quite frankly...I'd really him rather keep his promise to pay for my dental (a promise which he has now broken) than try to buy my forgiveness/love with $100 that he stole from his and my uncle's store...
Seems like I'm finally able to focus at work - I really think that midway review helped me get back on track and realize I need to get my butt in gear. I'm finally getting the hang of where to transfer calls, and today, though I'm sure it will change later on, the fax machine is being peaceful. ^-^ I've got a lot of policies to type, but thankfully none of them are rushes and will cause agents to breathe down my tailpipes trying to get me to instantaneously produce a policy for them. -.-''
Ok, for those of you who don't know me on myspace, my display name is Romantic Existentialist. There's a reason WHY I call myself that, obviously...and suffice it to say that I'm becoming more like one every day. The two words, "romantic," and "existensialist" come from the root words of "romanticism" and "existentialism." Those are two literary concepts that I learned my senior year of high school - and have found their opposing ideologies to be the one, combined label that fits me through and through.
Romanticism, when used as a literary concept, is a label that defines a person who is rooted within values that were taught to them as a child - or, simply put, preconceived notions or values. They live by these values and rarely, if at all, question these beliefs.
Whereas, existentialism, the opposite of romanticism in many ways, is a label that defines a person who is searching for what they believe in through self-experience. For example, they won't necessarily oppose or believe in a religion until that existentialist feels that he/she has experienced it as proof for himself/herself. Seeing is believing, or however you wish to phrase it.
When you combine romanticism and existentialism as a combined paradox, you then define the person as a person who still believes in those original taught values, however, said person wishes to go through life learning how to express those values differently and may wish to change his/her beliefs depending on his/her discoveries.
That is a romantic existentialist. Or...me. I was brought up as a Southern Baptist believer...and although I consider myself a Christian, I refuse to adopt the hypocritical attitude that many Baptist believers hold in contradiction to the Bible. I am trying to interpret my spirituality and the Bible as I see fit, and what makes sense to me - all the while, still retaining the core values that I was once taught as a child.
My cousin reached this epiphany about a year ago. She was much bolder in her endeavours to find her own beliefs...whereas, I was, and still am afraid to admit that I no longer retain the title of a Southern Baptist believer...instead, I prefer the simplified label of a MODERATE Christian. One that does not shove my religion down non-believer's throats and one that does not discriminate, bias, prejudice against those who don't believe EXACTLY what I do. This, I feel, is a moderate Christian approach to world religions.
My cousin recommended a book to me recently...it's entitled Blue Like Jazz. In the subheading, it reads "Nonreligious thoughts on Christian Spirituality." The perspective is very much that of an existentialist, trying to adopt his own grasp of what spirituality means to him - and shares it with the audience throughout the book. I decided to buy it...and although I'm only through the first chapter, this book seems to be helping me sort through my self-expedition to really grasp what it is that I believe.
I think this will probably be something I will bring up more frequently now that I am more focused - and for those that wish to comment, please do. I'm very open to topics of religion and such. ^-^v
And before I go...I can't help but wonder if I'll ever get married - and STAY married for that matter. It's a girly question that nearly every girl questions at some point in time, but I hope that my biological clock isn't going to time out any time soon because as it stands right now...my love life is hours away from me and the distance, although very far, only decreases the time we could be sharing together. I'm sure time will tell in its own time, but ever since that dream...I can't help but wonder if I'm meant to stay alone for the rest of my life...
I suppose I've rattled enough. I need to get back to work...lunch is over and I'm sure this passage is far too long for anyone to care to read, lol. Adios amigos.