(no subject)
o yes, graduation was FUCKING GREAT.
poured like a bitch.. thunder, lightning, the whole deal.
so not only was i absolutely soaked, but pissed off.
learned that an old friend of mine who also happens to b my ex, merely came back to CT after 4yrs, only to see his other ex who he only dated for like 2 weeks and he was also deemed a creepy stalker by this person. this is after not even being informed that he was even coming, and being treated like i wasnt even important. not even sure if he even contacted his BEST-FRIEND from when he was here. so yeah, he basically only came here to see HER. [wtf is with that?]
also received a slap in the face when i finally really realized that i was a sort of 'second choice' bc he couldnt have her.. i mean i knew that he never at all had any sort of feelings for me when we were going out or anything.. but still.
then i found out that basically EVERYONE seems to think that i still have feelings for the asshole. I AM SO FUCKING OVER HIM AND HAVE BEEN FOR YEARS!!!! i like someone else for REAL now, and am dating another! he was just.. there. i doubt i even had them to begin with. he was there. and so were my hormones. [i, along with the rest of the girls in my social group thing had crushs on him.]
and he ruined my night. OUR night. mar and i TOLD her not to invite him, yet she just went ahead and did so.
so 4 years later, our 'conversation' [can it even b called that?] ended with a "do u kno where ashley is?".
so fitting. once again pushed to the back. ok so maybe im not okay with being treated like second best. thats normal, right?
at the moment im not even sure who im more pissed at. him or the whore.
but off the topic of that, i left graduation last night fucking bawling. o my GAWD. its over finally but its so fucking depressing. i have been with most of these ppl for 13 years.. and because of the fucking rain bs, i wasnt able to say goodbye/good luck, etc to the ppl that i wanted to.
ESPECIALLY HIM.
i really had every intention of FINALLY telling him how i feel. how ive felt for the past 4+ years. once again, i fucking blew it. i let him walk right past me. and so my last memory of him, is him walking away from me. i just stood there watching him walk away. and goddamnit did i wanted to just collapse and breakdown right there.
頭で押さえつけても心はどうすることも出来ない
not including close friends, out of all of the ppl, he is and will b the one i miss the most. and so heres my non-official, unreal, short as hell declaration.
I LOVE YOU JASON. i have for a long time and probably will for a longer time after this.
[wow im a dork.]
-----------------------
ps. thx back at ya mary for in turn listening to me whine and b all old-ladyish too. *waves* we most definitely have to plan that damned pizza/calzone party! x3
pss. saw batman tonight and it was fucking awesome. def recommend u go see.
poured like a bitch.. thunder, lightning, the whole deal.
so not only was i absolutely soaked, but pissed off.
learned that an old friend of mine who also happens to b my ex, merely came back to CT after 4yrs, only to see his other ex who he only dated for like 2 weeks and he was also deemed a creepy stalker by this person. this is after not even being informed that he was even coming, and being treated like i wasnt even important. not even sure if he even contacted his BEST-FRIEND from when he was here. so yeah, he basically only came here to see HER. [wtf is with that?]
also received a slap in the face when i finally really realized that i was a sort of 'second choice' bc he couldnt have her.. i mean i knew that he never at all had any sort of feelings for me when we were going out or anything.. but still.
then i found out that basically EVERYONE seems to think that i still have feelings for the asshole. I AM SO FUCKING OVER HIM AND HAVE BEEN FOR YEARS!!!! i like someone else for REAL now, and am dating another! he was just.. there. i doubt i even had them to begin with. he was there. and so were my hormones. [i, along with the rest of the girls in my social group thing had crushs on him.]
and he ruined my night. OUR night. mar and i TOLD her not to invite him, yet she just went ahead and did so.
so 4 years later, our 'conversation' [can it even b called that?] ended with a "do u kno where ashley is?".
so fitting. once again pushed to the back. ok so maybe im not okay with being treated like second best. thats normal, right?
at the moment im not even sure who im more pissed at. him or the whore.
but off the topic of that, i left graduation last night fucking bawling. o my GAWD. its over finally but its so fucking depressing. i have been with most of these ppl for 13 years.. and because of the fucking rain bs, i wasnt able to say goodbye/good luck, etc to the ppl that i wanted to.
ESPECIALLY HIM.
i really had every intention of FINALLY telling him how i feel. how ive felt for the past 4+ years. once again, i fucking blew it. i let him walk right past me. and so my last memory of him, is him walking away from me. i just stood there watching him walk away. and goddamnit did i wanted to just collapse and breakdown right there.
頭で押さえつけても心はどうすることも出来ない
not including close friends, out of all of the ppl, he is and will b the one i miss the most. and so heres my non-official, unreal, short as hell declaration.
I LOVE YOU JASON. i have for a long time and probably will for a longer time after this.
[wow im a dork.]
-----------------------
ps. thx back at ya mary for in turn listening to me whine and b all old-ladyish too. *waves* we most definitely have to plan that damned pizza/calzone party! x3
pss. saw batman tonight and it was fucking awesome. def recommend u go see.