*sigh*
okay so i need a place to vent. so i guess i'll do it here. i don't mean to unload my one big problem on anyone i just need to vent.
Well, you know that guy I was always talking about that i loved and everything. well, we were almost together a year and then he just stops talking to me. no reason why or anything he just stops talking to me. kind sad and it hurt. cause the fact is that i really did love him. he was the first guy to care about me for me and that was sweet and kind and i guess loved me for me. It' kind of sad how you know he said he loved me and we had all these plans and stuff about seeing each other and then he just stops talking to me. i mean for the last week I've been calling him on his cell phone and i kept getting his voicemail. his sister gave me his cell number also when i asked for the house phone number and so i started calling him and he just wouldn't answer his phone. It made me real sad and depressed and stuff. it made me cry at some point. i don't think he knows how much of myself i gave to him. i would have loved him with everything i have. I mean the first message i sent him I said some stuff that may have implied that I wanted to break up with him but i didn't. I made ure that I put in there that i wanted to talk to him about it and see what's gonna happen. cause i definitely didn't want to break up with him. but all in all we haven't talked for nearly 2 months so the other night i just decided to end it cause I was tired of waiting and stuff. i mean everything in my being is doubting that he just didn't want to talk to me anymore and he just couldn't get to his phone. But i know that's wrong cause he's getting my emails and i know he is. You know it hurts to lose someone. it hurts because of everything you thought it could be. i still love him and he's gonna be hard to get over because he is my first love. i mean he's not everything i wanted seeing as i know he's short and i don't really like short guys and stuff. But i put that aside for him because there was just something about him that made me want to be with him. when i first started talking to him like that i was like no don't do this cause i know if it doesn't work out it's gonna hurt. But it happened and it did hurt. i cried one night i cried myself to sleep. then the next morning i cried at work...it was sad. i hate crying in front of people then i cried in front of Jessica at pizza hut. i don't know i think i'm gonna finish this rant soon but yeah. i decided to just end it on the 18th so we were together for like 10 months and 20 days something like that. Now it's over. I guess i wanted it to work so bad. that part of me wanted to prove that long distance relationships can work. but yeah that didn't work. well, the story is over and I'm single again... the end...