cge. wala talaga akong kwenta. >.
I was supposed to be on hiatus but I just had to release my stress and feelings. Gomen ne flist for spamming you. This will be an emo post. Be warned. although I would like to be guided
I think this is PMS affecting me, but I argued with my brother and my sister just about 6 minutes from now. Why?
First: My brother told me to install the Final Fantasy VII game here in the laptop, and I followed him. I didn't know that the CD was defective, so the laptop hanged, and I had no choice but to cancel my downloads, give up my half-done project in English, and everyone I was talking to a while ago. I cried. T.T I didn't even know why. My tears just fell from my eyes, and I was sobbing in front of everyone in our house. My uncle and aunt was here a while ago, and it was so shameful. D: "Bakit ka umiiyak? (why are you crying?)" , my brother asked me. I couldn't even say a word why I cried. I just..felt like it. I dunno. O.O And maybe he thought that I was too shallow. Well, what can you do when a person has PMS and everything around her seems to be falling apart. T.T
Second: My sister told me to check her test papers for her because she needed to do her daily excercise. Yes, I did check them, but I have some mistakes in checking. SRSLY. Why let me do the checking when all she will do after she saw the papers was to complain and complain about my mistakes. T.T I am not a checking machine. I normally commit mistakes, because I am a person. Or, maybe not, because I cannot do anything right. I hope she understands that.
Third: I borrowed her USB yesterday, but I lent it to my classmate because I needed to give her my research for our group work. I didn't tell her that I was going to lend my classmate her USB, and I know it was my mistake. I'm sorry if suddenly I had to give it to my classmate because our grade is dependent on those research papers.
Okay, that's about all..but ever since before, I would always fail my family. My father always gets mad at me, my mom too. I always lose my stuff of my siblings. I don't help at all, when they clean the dining table, wash the dishes, and do household chores. I am irresponsible. MANHID AKO, WALA AKONG KWENTA, BWISET AKO SA BUHAY NG MGA KASAMA KO SA BAHAY, WALA AKONG SILBE DITO, WALA AKONG PAKE SA KANILA, WALA AKONG KWENTANG ANAK AT KAPATID. yes, I understand why they make me realize those things. And, I wanted to change myself. I want to change myself from the start. I want to be this, respectful, responsible, and lovable girl that they would be proud of. I don't know what to do about my attitude.
1. I am boastful. srsly.
2. I am insensitive.
3. I am not understanding.
4. I am not deserving of all their love.
5. I am deaf.
6. I am blind.
7. I am worthless.
8. I am careless.
9. I do nothing but failures.
10. I cannot be relied on.
11. ETC.
Srsly, I am not like this with my friends. I just don't know why. Any idea why? D: Help me. I need guidance. gosh. D: I want to change my bad points. I sometimes envy Yamapi, because he's such a nice guy to his friends, to his fans, and to his family. I wonder if I'll ever be as nice as him. I'm a brat, I know, but I want to change that. I srsly do. So, starting tomorrow, hopefully i can do these. D: I will...
1. be respectful.
2. help in cleaning our dining area and the dishes
3. return things to my siblings
4. not answer back whenever they piss me off
5. help them in any means
6. go away from stuff that affect my attitude in a bad way
7. be nicer
8. try to be not bitchy but i can't help it when i have my period o.o
9. try to change everything in me.
I will try to do all of those things because I love them, even though they don't realize that, because all I have shown them are my bad points. I feel as if I'm a disgrace to my family. I srsly want to apologize. retreat, where are you. I need to release all these things, so that I can be free from everything I'm worried about.Once again, gomen for spamming your flists, I love you people. ^-^ I hope you understand. XDD After reading this entry, maybe all of you may think I'm a really mean person, deshou? Oh well, it can't be helped. Dakara, I need to change these no matter what! ^-^ Goodnight to everyone.
I think this is PMS affecting me, but I argued with my brother and my sister just about 6 minutes from now. Why?
First: My brother told me to install the Final Fantasy VII game here in the laptop, and I followed him. I didn't know that the CD was defective, so the laptop hanged, and I had no choice but to cancel my downloads, give up my half-done project in English, and everyone I was talking to a while ago. I cried. T.T I didn't even know why. My tears just fell from my eyes, and I was sobbing in front of everyone in our house. My uncle and aunt was here a while ago, and it was so shameful. D: "Bakit ka umiiyak? (why are you crying?)" , my brother asked me. I couldn't even say a word why I cried. I just..felt like it. I dunno. O.O And maybe he thought that I was too shallow. Well, what can you do when a person has PMS and everything around her seems to be falling apart. T.T
Second: My sister told me to check her test papers for her because she needed to do her daily excercise. Yes, I did check them, but I have some mistakes in checking. SRSLY. Why let me do the checking when all she will do after she saw the papers was to complain and complain about my mistakes. T.T I am not a checking machine. I normally commit mistakes, because I am a person. Or, maybe not, because I cannot do anything right. I hope she understands that.
Third: I borrowed her USB yesterday, but I lent it to my classmate because I needed to give her my research for our group work. I didn't tell her that I was going to lend my classmate her USB, and I know it was my mistake. I'm sorry if suddenly I had to give it to my classmate because our grade is dependent on those research papers.
Okay, that's about all..but ever since before, I would always fail my family. My father always gets mad at me, my mom too. I always lose my stuff of my siblings. I don't help at all, when they clean the dining table, wash the dishes, and do household chores. I am irresponsible. MANHID AKO, WALA AKONG KWENTA, BWISET AKO SA BUHAY NG MGA KASAMA KO SA BAHAY, WALA AKONG SILBE DITO, WALA AKONG PAKE SA KANILA, WALA AKONG KWENTANG ANAK AT KAPATID. yes, I understand why they make me realize those things. And, I wanted to change myself. I want to change myself from the start. I want to be this, respectful, responsible, and lovable girl that they would be proud of. I don't know what to do about my attitude.
1. I am boastful. srsly.
2. I am insensitive.
3. I am not understanding.
4. I am not deserving of all their love.
5. I am deaf.
6. I am blind.
7. I am worthless.
8. I am careless.
9. I do nothing but failures.
10. I cannot be relied on.
11. ETC.
Srsly, I am not like this with my friends. I just don't know why. Any idea why? D: Help me. I need guidance. gosh. D: I want to change my bad points. I sometimes envy Yamapi, because he's such a nice guy to his friends, to his fans, and to his family. I wonder if I'll ever be as nice as him. I'm a brat, I know, but I want to change that. I srsly do. So, starting tomorrow, hopefully i can do these. D: I will...
1. be respectful.
2. help in cleaning our dining area and the dishes
3. return things to my siblings
4. not answer back whenever they piss me off
5. help them in any means
6. go away from stuff that affect my attitude in a bad way
7. be nicer
8. try to be not bitchy but i can't help it when i have my period o.o
9. try to change everything in me.
I will try to do all of those things because I love them, even though they don't realize that, because all I have shown them are my bad points. I feel as if I'm a disgrace to my family. I srsly want to apologize. retreat, where are you. I need to release all these things, so that I can be free from everything I'm worried about.Once again, gomen for spamming your flists, I love you people. ^-^ I hope you understand. XDD After reading this entry, maybe all of you may think I'm a really mean person, deshou? Oh well, it can't be helped. Dakara, I need to change these no matter what! ^-^ Goodnight to everyone.