Fanfic: Resurrection (Spoilers up to Ch. 167)
Title: Resurrection
Rating: PG
Spoilers Warning: Spoilers up to Ch. 167
Summary: Like a phoenix that rise from the ashes for each reincarnation, Fai reaches a revelation of what it means to live and what it means to find happiness in a renewed and strengthened relationship.
Song Recommendation (as you read): "Kaze no Machi He" by Yuki Kajiura (performed by FictionJunction KEIKO)
Author's Note: We all know due to the nature of the story, CLAMP allows us to imagine and create "behind the scenes" even within a world. I always imagine that Fai and Kurogane would have a private moment together after the mage punches the ninja in the head.
"Sorry to keep you waiting. Please step inside."
Upon hearing Tomoyo-hime's words inviting him into the room, Fai slid open the door and walked inside. The young miko princess was standing close to the mat that Kurogane was still sitting on and Fai approached the other side of the ninja.
"Oi," Kurogane calmly greeted.
Fai did not say anything in response. Instead, he silently exchanged eye contact with the other man. To tell the truth, Fai had expected nothing less than for Kurogane to say something simple and ordinary such as a "hey"; as if the ninja had not woken up - when in reality he did - from days of comatose after cutting off his arm and losing a severe amount of blood.
For the sake of saving Fai before his own world collapsed in the blink of an eye.
It was amazing how alert and stable the ninja was after waking up from a large, traumatic injury, how calm he was in the face of his princess and Fai. Nothing in his crimson eyes seemed to indicate that he had regrets or anger for doing what he had to do to save the mage's neck. Rather, Kurogane's eyes reflected…relief, perhaps. Fai was relieved beyond words that the ninja had made it alive when they all landed in Kurogane's home world and thanked the wonders of hitsuzen that his wish had enabled them to arrive in the company of the wise and calm-headed Tomoyo-hime.
But still, Kurogane should be scolded for the worries and pain he had put Fai and the two others through. He was as reckless, if not even more, than the things Fai was in Outo and Tokyo and for which he was chided by the ninja. Fai clenched his fist and smacked it into Kurogane's head, sending the ninja tumbling back and landing without ruining his injury. Yet even so he was grateful.
"That was payback, Kuro-sama," Fai coolly said, relishing in the comfort of using his own nicknames again.
"Tch, I'll beat you up, bastard," Kurogane shot back with a playful smirk, absolving any possibilities of tension.
Tomoyo-hime acknowledged Fai and nodded her head, indicating that she would keep to her agreement that Fai was to be left alone with Kurogane. "I will leave the two of you alone," she announced and with that she left the infirmary ward.
This was what Fai had been waiting for, ever since the gang had arrived confused and scared for Kurogane's life in Nihon and after being privately consoled by Tomoyo-hime. Everything had happened too fast, from the death of Ashura-ou to the revelation of his brother's true wish to leaving behind his home in tow with the lifeless ninja and Sakura, Syaoran, and Mokona. After speaking with Tomoyo-hime, Fai accepted the circumstances he had ended up in and finally allowed him to live just as everyone had wished for him. But in the end, he still needed to speak to Kurogane alone. He kneeled down on his knees while Kurogane sat up straighter into a more comfortable position.
"Kuro-sama," Fai began, not expecting to feel his throat tighten and tears to well up in his eye already. He fought hard to blink them back, not wanting the ninja to see him in this state too soon. Kurogane patiently waited for him to resume.
"Kuro-sama, I thought you were going to die."
The other man remained silent, which encouraged Fai to continue. "My brother and Ashura-ou have both died with the same wish, which was to let me live and be free. And you remember what happened with Sakura-chan when my curse enabled me to stab her. She too wanted me to choose my future from then on. So I couldn't bear the thought of losing someone again because of being with me or getting closer. It was hard enough living as a nightmare, but the thought of losing you because of you wanting to save me, I…"
At that point Fai let some tears fall down. "Don't you see?" he croaked in a barely audible tone, "if you had died, I would have died."
Kurogane brushed his fingers on Fai's cheek to wipe away the tears. Fai had expected for the wounded man to exasperatingly chide him for crying when he shouldn't be. But instead, Kurogane seemed to understand the pain that Fai went through after he made his sacrifice and let the mage pour it out, truly showing how much he had changed since that time in Hanshin Republic when they debated over whether crying was a sign of weakness or a sign of strength.
"I once said that I would kill anybody who threatens my life or the lives of those I'm protecting," the ninja finally spoke. "And the same goes the other way. If there's one thing you may have not noticed yet, idiot," he said with more affection than sternness, "is that if I want to live, I will fight to live. If I want others to live, then hell, I will fight to keep them alive. Because in the end, I know I have kept my vow to protect those precious to me."
Fai felt his soul immensely uplifted. He couldn't help but overhear Tomoyo-hime and Kurogane's conversations outside. Yet to hear the man tell this to him as well privately in person was wonderful, because now he knew for sure that he truly mattered to Kurogane. It was beyond overwhelming. "Kuro-sama…" he managed to choke out.
They both knew that they meant the world to each other. They both knew that they had pretty much spoke, even showed, their declaration of love for one another.
The other man started to become pretty impatient. "Look, mage, I'm getting really tired, so you might as well," at this point, Kurogane used up his remaining strength in his only arm to tug Fai down towards him and pressed his lips on the mage's. Shocked at first but then lulled by this immense satisfaction, Fai kissed the ninja back and willingly sank into Kurogane's arm, letting the other man caress him. He could tell by the way the man was locking their lips deeper and firmer that Kurogane had been waiting. Waiting for so long to feel this intimacy and waiting to just know that it was worth it to never give up on Fai. Waiting for that one day that Fai would come back to him; come back to them.
Kurogane finally pulled away. "Stay. With me," he finished. It was more of a command then a question. Fai could only smile and lied down, snuggling close to Kurogane's body as the other stroked his hand through Fai's blond locks.
And then just like that Kurogane nudged off and instantly fell into a deep sleep. Fai lied wide awake, staring at the ceiling. He ruminated over Kurogane's words, his hand in his hair, and their first kiss, but most importantly his desire that Fai stayed with him that evening. He felt himself tearing up again, but gladly so this time.
Because it was the first time he can truly say they were tears of happiness.
Despite everything he had to go through and see people he cared for suffer at his expense, Kurogane never turned his back on him. And Fai had never felt truly safe and warm until this evening. Because at last, he had found the person who would sincerely take him along no matter what when all along he thought something like that could never happen. Fai never thought that the person, who was supposed to be his enemy, could turn out to be his safe haven, would risk his life to save him.
And love him.
Yet, here was that person, who was sleeping rather peacefully, comforted knowing that Fai was really by his side. The mage wholeheartedly allowed Kurogane and this happiness fill and nourish his soul. Clasping the other man's hand, Fai closed his eyes.
At last, the two could wake up in the morning together, fully knowing the meaning of true happiness.
Rating: PG
Spoilers Warning: Spoilers up to Ch. 167
Summary: Like a phoenix that rise from the ashes for each reincarnation, Fai reaches a revelation of what it means to live and what it means to find happiness in a renewed and strengthened relationship.
Song Recommendation (as you read): "Kaze no Machi He" by Yuki Kajiura (performed by FictionJunction KEIKO)
Author's Note: We all know due to the nature of the story, CLAMP allows us to imagine and create "behind the scenes" even within a world. I always imagine that Fai and Kurogane would have a private moment together after the mage punches the ninja in the head.
"Sorry to keep you waiting. Please step inside."
Upon hearing Tomoyo-hime's words inviting him into the room, Fai slid open the door and walked inside. The young miko princess was standing close to the mat that Kurogane was still sitting on and Fai approached the other side of the ninja.
"Oi," Kurogane calmly greeted.
Fai did not say anything in response. Instead, he silently exchanged eye contact with the other man. To tell the truth, Fai had expected nothing less than for Kurogane to say something simple and ordinary such as a "hey"; as if the ninja had not woken up - when in reality he did - from days of comatose after cutting off his arm and losing a severe amount of blood.
For the sake of saving Fai before his own world collapsed in the blink of an eye.
It was amazing how alert and stable the ninja was after waking up from a large, traumatic injury, how calm he was in the face of his princess and Fai. Nothing in his crimson eyes seemed to indicate that he had regrets or anger for doing what he had to do to save the mage's neck. Rather, Kurogane's eyes reflected…relief, perhaps. Fai was relieved beyond words that the ninja had made it alive when they all landed in Kurogane's home world and thanked the wonders of hitsuzen that his wish had enabled them to arrive in the company of the wise and calm-headed Tomoyo-hime.
But still, Kurogane should be scolded for the worries and pain he had put Fai and the two others through. He was as reckless, if not even more, than the things Fai was in Outo and Tokyo and for which he was chided by the ninja. Fai clenched his fist and smacked it into Kurogane's head, sending the ninja tumbling back and landing without ruining his injury. Yet even so he was grateful.
"That was payback, Kuro-sama," Fai coolly said, relishing in the comfort of using his own nicknames again.
"Tch, I'll beat you up, bastard," Kurogane shot back with a playful smirk, absolving any possibilities of tension.
Tomoyo-hime acknowledged Fai and nodded her head, indicating that she would keep to her agreement that Fai was to be left alone with Kurogane. "I will leave the two of you alone," she announced and with that she left the infirmary ward.
This was what Fai had been waiting for, ever since the gang had arrived confused and scared for Kurogane's life in Nihon and after being privately consoled by Tomoyo-hime. Everything had happened too fast, from the death of Ashura-ou to the revelation of his brother's true wish to leaving behind his home in tow with the lifeless ninja and Sakura, Syaoran, and Mokona. After speaking with Tomoyo-hime, Fai accepted the circumstances he had ended up in and finally allowed him to live just as everyone had wished for him. But in the end, he still needed to speak to Kurogane alone. He kneeled down on his knees while Kurogane sat up straighter into a more comfortable position.
"Kuro-sama," Fai began, not expecting to feel his throat tighten and tears to well up in his eye already. He fought hard to blink them back, not wanting the ninja to see him in this state too soon. Kurogane patiently waited for him to resume.
"Kuro-sama, I thought you were going to die."
The other man remained silent, which encouraged Fai to continue. "My brother and Ashura-ou have both died with the same wish, which was to let me live and be free. And you remember what happened with Sakura-chan when my curse enabled me to stab her. She too wanted me to choose my future from then on. So I couldn't bear the thought of losing someone again because of being with me or getting closer. It was hard enough living as a nightmare, but the thought of losing you because of you wanting to save me, I…"
At that point Fai let some tears fall down. "Don't you see?" he croaked in a barely audible tone, "if you had died, I would have died."
Kurogane brushed his fingers on Fai's cheek to wipe away the tears. Fai had expected for the wounded man to exasperatingly chide him for crying when he shouldn't be. But instead, Kurogane seemed to understand the pain that Fai went through after he made his sacrifice and let the mage pour it out, truly showing how much he had changed since that time in Hanshin Republic when they debated over whether crying was a sign of weakness or a sign of strength.
"I once said that I would kill anybody who threatens my life or the lives of those I'm protecting," the ninja finally spoke. "And the same goes the other way. If there's one thing you may have not noticed yet, idiot," he said with more affection than sternness, "is that if I want to live, I will fight to live. If I want others to live, then hell, I will fight to keep them alive. Because in the end, I know I have kept my vow to protect those precious to me."
Fai felt his soul immensely uplifted. He couldn't help but overhear Tomoyo-hime and Kurogane's conversations outside. Yet to hear the man tell this to him as well privately in person was wonderful, because now he knew for sure that he truly mattered to Kurogane. It was beyond overwhelming. "Kuro-sama…" he managed to choke out.
They both knew that they meant the world to each other. They both knew that they had pretty much spoke, even showed, their declaration of love for one another.
The other man started to become pretty impatient. "Look, mage, I'm getting really tired, so you might as well," at this point, Kurogane used up his remaining strength in his only arm to tug Fai down towards him and pressed his lips on the mage's. Shocked at first but then lulled by this immense satisfaction, Fai kissed the ninja back and willingly sank into Kurogane's arm, letting the other man caress him. He could tell by the way the man was locking their lips deeper and firmer that Kurogane had been waiting. Waiting for so long to feel this intimacy and waiting to just know that it was worth it to never give up on Fai. Waiting for that one day that Fai would come back to him; come back to them.
Kurogane finally pulled away. "Stay. With me," he finished. It was more of a command then a question. Fai could only smile and lied down, snuggling close to Kurogane's body as the other stroked his hand through Fai's blond locks.
And then just like that Kurogane nudged off and instantly fell into a deep sleep. Fai lied wide awake, staring at the ceiling. He ruminated over Kurogane's words, his hand in his hair, and their first kiss, but most importantly his desire that Fai stayed with him that evening. He felt himself tearing up again, but gladly so this time.
Because it was the first time he can truly say they were tears of happiness.
Despite everything he had to go through and see people he cared for suffer at his expense, Kurogane never turned his back on him. And Fai had never felt truly safe and warm until this evening. Because at last, he had found the person who would sincerely take him along no matter what when all along he thought something like that could never happen. Fai never thought that the person, who was supposed to be his enemy, could turn out to be his safe haven, would risk his life to save him.
And love him.
Yet, here was that person, who was sleeping rather peacefully, comforted knowing that Fai was really by his side. The mage wholeheartedly allowed Kurogane and this happiness fill and nourish his soul. Clasping the other man's hand, Fai closed his eyes.
At last, the two could wake up in the morning together, fully knowing the meaning of true happiness.