We Could Be In Love Chapter 11
Title: We Could Be In Love Chapter 11
Author: kutunakal
Pairing: GTOP
Warning: none
Rating: G, PG-13
Summary: I suck at summaries, just read the story? ^^
A/N: Cross posted at AFF. All grammar mistakes and typos are mine. Enjoy!!
Jiyong was just heading out the post office when Younggi jumped off his bike and greeted him.
“Oh, Ahjusshi,” Jiyong bowed to the old man. “How are you?”
“I’m fine, boy,” Younggi supported his bike a couple step and leaned it to the wall in front of the door to the post office. Jiyong followed him back inside the building. “It’s been a while since you came here, what happened?”
Jiyong smiled to the old man, handing him a card. Younggi’s grinned when he saw what it was. “An invitation? Finally? Do you finally meet him?”
Jiyong, who had his black hair back for the wedding, only shook his head while chuckling. “No. It’s a she.”
Younggi’s eyebrow furrowed when he heard this. He was hoping Jiyong at least was too busy to came to visit him because he finally met his penpal and was in a romantic relationship with the guy and was too busy dating or something. He didn’t expect this, “A she? Choi.. Choi Hyeyoon?”
The young man nodded weakly with a smile plastered in his face. Somehow, Younggi did not like this smile. This isn’t the smile he usually get from Jiyong. Younggi sat down on a bench and put the invitation on his lap. He then patted the spot next to him, signaling Jiyong to sit there.
“What happen to The Pimp?”
“The Official Pimp, Ahjussi,” Jiyong corrected him. “He wanted us to respect his nickname,” Jiyong told him, trying hard to surpress the nausea he felt when he remembered the phonecall with the guy. Younggi couldn’t help but laughed at this. “He.. actually I came here to tell you that..,” Jiyong hesitated. He wasn’t really sure he really wanted to do this. “I wanted to.. close my PO Box.”
He had sent TOP so many letters after their last phonecall. But he never received any reply. He waited and waited. He waited for more than a month, but no reply ever came. And to make it worse was Seunghyun. Since the night he told him about TOP, the older male avoided him. That night, he was sure that he wanted Seunghyun. That seeing Seunghyun leaving like that hurts a lot. He was so sure that he fell in love with Seunghyun. He realized that it was impossible to love two person at once, and he decided then that his feelings for TOP was only admiration. After TOP ‘dumped’ him, he knew he couldn’t fall in love with a person he never met. He did felt embarrased when he recalled what happened that day. He was crying and screaming like a crazy person in the middle of the street and made a lot of crowd there. But after what happened, he decided, he choose not to fall in love with TOP. That guy couldn’t even hold his words, he left Jiyong waiting for 3 fucking hours and did not show up, only saying goodbye through a phonecall. Jiyong didn’t even know why he ever thought TOP and Seunghyun was the same person. They were totally different. At least Seunghyun didn’t left him like that. At least Seunghyun was always there for him.
Or so Jiyong thought. Because he wasn’t.
Jiyong met Seunghyun again a week after the family dinner at his botique, where Seunghyun accompanied Hyeyoon to fit her wedding dress. His personality changed 100%. He wasn’t the playful silly Seunghyun who like to throw jokes and insults at him. It was painful for Jiyong to have Seunghyun there but not saying a word to him. He even avoided eye contact with the latter. Jiyong pretend to be happy for Hyeyoon, he didn’t want Hyeyoon to feel sad. Her face was beaming with joy, even though later she asked Seunghyun if he’s sick, because he really didn’t say a word that day. He just sat at the sofa across the small podium where Hyeyoon was standing, and he only nodded whenever Hyeyoon asked him if it looks good on her. Jiyong watched Seunghyun’s sad expression. He didn;t know why the older man put that kind of expression on his face, but Jiyong didn’t like seeing him sad. The designer tried to keep Hyeyoon happy by praising her in her wedding dress. He wasn’t lying, she does look verry pretty. But why doen’t it feel right? Why does it hurt Jiyong that Seunghyun was not the one planning this wedding with him?
“Pardon me, Jiyong-ah?” Younggi was sure he misheard the boy. “You want to what?”
“I.. stopped writing with TOP a while ago, and I think.. I will never will write to him again.”
“Just because you’re going to marry soon?” Younggi waved the invitation card in front of him. “You can’t do that. You don’t lose a friend because of a marriage. I..” Younggi didn’t know what to say. He was really hoping a very happy ending for Jiyong and this TOP, but this ending? He wasn’t expecting.
Jiyong gave him another sad smile. “I .. everything in life is a choice, Ahjussi. But when it’s life who choose for us, when life choose us a different path than the path we wanted, what can you do?”
Hearing this, Younggi can only smile and give Jiyong a hug. He can only wish the best for the young boy and promised him he’ll be there at his wedding.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Why so gloomy, dear cousin?”
Yoochun who already came back from his honeymoon sat down beside Jiyong at the sofa in the recording room. Yoochun was free today, and when he called Jiyong to say that he missed his cousin and wanted to see him, Jiyong agreed to come to Yoochun’s building.
“Not happy that you’re going to marry soon?”
Jiyong did not answer. He just looked blankly at nothing in front of him. He hadn’t met Seunghyun for 2 months. He called his office but they always had a reason to not connect him to Seunghyun. And he was afraid to ask for his number, because what kind of fiance are you asking for your fiancees brother’s cellphone number? For the same reason he refused to ask Jaejoong or Yoochun for Seunghyun’s number. From what Hyeyoon told him, Seunghyun didn’t came home the night they had dinner together, and he was very busy lately she barely see him at home. What was wrong with Seunghyun? What happened that night? What did Jiyong do? Why was he avoiding him since?
“Hey,” Jiyong was a littlle startled when somebody pat his knee. “Oh, Yoochun Hyung,” he answered weakly. Yoochun tilted his head and frowned at Jiyong’s reaction. He know his cousin could be an arrogant bastard sometimes, but in front of him Jiyong usually was so bubbly and cute. He never saw Jiyong so sad except when he came to his house one night, crying his eyes out and telling him he was never going to talk to Dami again for making their parents leaving him alone in Seoul.
“What’s wrong, man?” Yoochun leaned forward and clasped his hands to rest his chin on top of them. “You seemed so.. lost.”
“I am, Hyung,” Jiyong said honestly. “Hyung.. did you.. have you heard anything.. about Seunghyun lately?”
Yoochun’s ears perked up at this. He raised his eyebrows and smiled. “Seunghyun?”
“Yes,” Jiyong was hesitating at first, but he already asked, so he decided to keep asking. “I, uh.. haven’t heard from him for weeks.”
“Reeaally?” Yoochun said with an amused tone. “I thought you guys keep in touch. I mean.. you’re going to be in-laws, right?”
Actually Yoochun didn’t agree with this marriage. He liked Hyeyoon, she’s a wonderful person although Seunghyun never officially introduced them. From Seunghyun’s story, Hyeyoon was a wonderful sister, and the siblings love each other dearly. But personally, Yoochun wanted Jiyong to end up with Seunghyun. He was so sure he saw something there, he saw some sparks between them. He also see something in Seunghyun’s eye whenever Jiyong was around. He hadn’t seen there for a long time. The male was a little bit sad when he heard that Jiyong was in an arranged marriage with Choi Hyeyoon, who happened to be Seunghyun’s sister. He was helpless, and Jaejoong had already warned him to stay out of it because it could break the Chois and the Kwons good relationship. So Yoochun did not interfere the marriage plan. It’s just, he thought Seunghyun and Jiyong still got along well despite the arrangements, and hearing Jiyong hasn’t heard from Seunghyun for 2 months surprised him.
“He.. kind of.. dashed off the night Hyeyoon Noona and I was introduced, and I only met him a couple of time since. But he didn’t talk to me,” Jiyong let out a frustrated sigh. “And now I really haven’t seen him for a while. He was.. I don’t like losing.. a friend like this.”
“Dashed off?” Jiyong nodded. “Did you do something to him?”
Jiyong creased his brows, trying to remember what he said wrong that night. “I was just telling him about a friend I had, about how I felt like.. I told you about the letters, right?” Jiyong waited for Yoochun to nod before he continue, “I told him how this guy, just through letters, just by a piece of paper, can make me feel.. I don’t know, cured? He made me feel something I couldn’t explain.”
“Love?” Yoochun knows about the younger man’s sexual orientation, and how frustrated it made him. He also knew about this penpal he was talking about, Jiyong told him since they started writing to each other. What Yoochun didn’t know was how big his effect to Jiyong’s life.
“If love.. if love was like having a thousand of butterflies in your tummy just by reading a letter he gave you, or you feel something was like.. going to explode when you hear his voice at the phone-“
“You even talked to this guy now?”
“No,” Jiyong shook his head, leaning further back to the sofa and runs his hand to his now brown-reddish hair, “Only by phone. Once. Is it love, Hyung?”
Yoochun thought about the answer and smiled before he nodded. “I feel the same to Jaejoong. And for addition, when you’re in love, it’s like he’s the reason for everything you do. He makes you do unreasonable things, make you feel things you never felt before even if it’s not a good feeling. And he constantly pops to your mind when you’re not even thinking about him.”
The last lines made Jiyong move forward. “I.. uh..” Seunghyun always popped to my mind, even when I’m thinking about needles he would be there, Jiyong remembered. “Hyung can I ask you something?” Yoochun nodded and Jiyong asked him again, “Is it possible.. to love two.. person at once?” He knew he already know the answer, but he wanted to be sure. He wanted to be sure he’s right.
“I don’t think so. Either you only feel love for a person, or the two person was actually one person,” Yoochun did not even paused before answering. He removed his hands and took Jiyong’s smaller one to hold them atop his lap. “Look, Ji.. this arranged marriage, if you’re hesitating, it, means you’re not.. you don’t love her, do you?” when Jiyong did not answer, Yoochun know he’s right. “Ji, this is your life. Don’t let your parents decide what’s best for your life.”
“But they are my life, Hyung,” Jiyong answered, making Yoochun sighed. He knew Jiyong was a spoiled kid. He was always given anything he asked for, and he was not use to decide anything on his own until his parents and sister left him alone in Seoul. Yoochun agreed with Dami at the time, it was a right desicion, and it changed Jiyong’s personality to a better one. He couldn’t debate with what Jiyong said was because this was no longer Jiyong as a spoiled brat, but he was a good son. “I owed them so much in life and.. this is the least I could do to make them happy. I never made them happy before, Hyung. Besides, it’s not lke I’m in a relationship yet.”
Yoochun did not answer that. He didn’t want to continue having this conversation. Jiyong was such a selfless person now, and what Yoochun wanted was him to be selfish and take action for his own life. “So you want to know about Seunghyun.”
Jiyong suddenly remember the reason they had this conversation. He was asking about Seunghyun. “Yes, Hyung. He just.. disappear. It’s like he moved to another country or something. I-“
“He did.”
“-not even a ca-what?” Jiyong stopped. “What did you just say, Hyung?”
Yoochun couldn’t stand the hurt that showed in Jiyong’s brown eyes, so he stood up and pretend to look at the papers at the table in front of them. “He moved Ji. He went to the US because one of his father’s company’s making a deal with a US shipping company and he had to maintain the office there. He moved there last week, and don’t even start,” Yoochun turned around when he heard Jiyong stood up. He knows Jiyong was going to get furious at him, he can hear the heavy breathing sound Jiyong made, and when he saw Jiyong, the younger male had tears in his eyes and his face was all red. “I didn’t know that he didn’t tell you. He said he already tell everybody he knew and I assume you were one of them.”
“He.. he didn’t,” Jiyong was not able to talk. He couldn’t believe what he just heard. Did Yoochun just told him that Seunghyun had moved to the States?
“Didn’t Hyeyoonssi told you? I mean.. you met her a couple of times this two weeks. She didn’t even said anything about him?”
Yoochun felt guilt punched him in the face when Jiyong leave without saying a word. He felt awful, but he didn’t know what to do. Seunghyun had made him promise.
Flashback
“What do you mean?? In two days? Hyun are you serious?”
Seunghyun didn’t look up. He was looking at a spot on the carpet of Jaejoong’s apartement while the older man was furiously pacing in front of him. Yoochun told him to calm down, and eventually pulled him to sit on his lap and hugged his waist to stop him from standing up.
“Seunghyun-ah.. what happened?” Jaejoong asked in a softer tone. “Why so suddenly?”
Seunghyun hesitated for a while, but when he started talking, he couldn’t stop. He told them about when he called the radio station, when he gave them his PO Box number, when he started writing to Dragon, when receiving letters from the other became like a dopping for their day, when they plan the meeting.. and then Jiyong came to the picture, he told them how Jiyong stole his heart that day, how he was able to say he love someone and it was Jiyong ,how he was confused and wondered how he could love two persons at once, and then he told them about the dinner with the Kwons, how his sister was so in love with Jiyong that it breaks his heart if he ever broke hers, and then he told them how he discovered that Jiyong was actually Dragon, the person he wrote to all this time.
Jaejoong had a hand covering his mouth when Seunghyun finished his story, and he squirmed from Yoochun’s lap to sit beside Seunghyun and hugged him. Seunghyun was shaking, he was sobbing so hard and it hurts the newly wed to see him like this. Seunghyun was always their joker, who always smile no matter what, and seeing him crying like this broke their hearts.
“I.. tried to burn the letters Dra-Jiyong sent me, but in the end, I put down the fire before I even put them in it,” Seunghyun finally said when he calmed down and had a cup of hot chocolate in his arm, and Yoochun’s arm aroung his shoulder while Jaejoong was sitting on the floor next to him with his chin on Seunghyun’s knee, looking up at him. “I couldn’t. But I can’t stand seeing it either so I put it inside my old room. I barely sleep there now, but.. it was a room fll of my old memories. And Jiyong’s one of them.”
“Seunghyun-ah,” Yoochun rubbed his bestfriend’s arm. “You don’t have to do this. This is not a choice, I mean.. Jiyong doesn’t even love Hyeyoon,” Yoochun raised his eyebrows when Jae shot him a what-are-you-saying-don’t-make-things-worse glare. “Well, no offense, we all know Hyeyoon is adorable. But trust me Seunghyun-ah, she wouldn’t be happy with Jiyong, you know that.”
Seunghyun shook his head. “He will love her eventually. Like you said, my Noona is adorable. And he’ll love her in time,” Seunghyun chuckled sadly. “I.. Hyeyoon Noona has given me more than she should. She protected me from all the bullies when we were small, she wasn’t embarrased that she had a fat, ugly brother-“
“Who turned into a sexy handsome man,” Jaejoong tried o cheer him up but only earned him a frown from Yoochun.
“-she deffended me when I came out to my parents, she support the apartement rent when we first move out and I was busy partying out, she was... I just couldn’t take this away from her. I never seen her so happy like that, you know. She was never so in love before.”
“But you deserve your happines too, Seunghyun-ah,” Jaejoong pouted. Yoochun almost pinched his wife’s pouting lips if he didn’t remember Seunghyun was there with them.
“Her happiness is my happiness, Jae. But rather than staying here, and.. seeing Jiyong marrying my sister, I.. uh.. I have to go, you know? I just have to go away.”
Jaejoong stood up when Seunghyun started crying again and took his mug to put it on the table. The elder then hugged him, and Yoochun did the same. “Just please, please, don’t tell him I’m going. It’s okay to tell him when I’m already there, but please don’t tell me before I go. My heart can’t stand it, it will refuse to go if I know Jiyong knows.”
Flashback end
Yoochun punched the table in front of him. He didn’t know what to do. He really was clueless.
Author: kutunakal
Pairing: GTOP
Warning: none
Rating: G, PG-13
Summary: I suck at summaries, just read the story? ^^
A/N: Cross posted at AFF. All grammar mistakes and typos are mine. Enjoy!!
Jiyong was just heading out the post office when Younggi jumped off his bike and greeted him.
“Oh, Ahjusshi,” Jiyong bowed to the old man. “How are you?”
“I’m fine, boy,” Younggi supported his bike a couple step and leaned it to the wall in front of the door to the post office. Jiyong followed him back inside the building. “It’s been a while since you came here, what happened?”
Jiyong smiled to the old man, handing him a card. Younggi’s grinned when he saw what it was. “An invitation? Finally? Do you finally meet him?”
Jiyong, who had his black hair back for the wedding, only shook his head while chuckling. “No. It’s a she.”
Younggi’s eyebrow furrowed when he heard this. He was hoping Jiyong at least was too busy to came to visit him because he finally met his penpal and was in a romantic relationship with the guy and was too busy dating or something. He didn’t expect this, “A she? Choi.. Choi Hyeyoon?”
The young man nodded weakly with a smile plastered in his face. Somehow, Younggi did not like this smile. This isn’t the smile he usually get from Jiyong. Younggi sat down on a bench and put the invitation on his lap. He then patted the spot next to him, signaling Jiyong to sit there.
“What happen to The Pimp?”
“The Official Pimp, Ahjussi,” Jiyong corrected him. “He wanted us to respect his nickname,” Jiyong told him, trying hard to surpress the nausea he felt when he remembered the phonecall with the guy. Younggi couldn’t help but laughed at this. “He.. actually I came here to tell you that..,” Jiyong hesitated. He wasn’t really sure he really wanted to do this. “I wanted to.. close my PO Box.”
He had sent TOP so many letters after their last phonecall. But he never received any reply. He waited and waited. He waited for more than a month, but no reply ever came. And to make it worse was Seunghyun. Since the night he told him about TOP, the older male avoided him. That night, he was sure that he wanted Seunghyun. That seeing Seunghyun leaving like that hurts a lot. He was so sure that he fell in love with Seunghyun. He realized that it was impossible to love two person at once, and he decided then that his feelings for TOP was only admiration. After TOP ‘dumped’ him, he knew he couldn’t fall in love with a person he never met. He did felt embarrased when he recalled what happened that day. He was crying and screaming like a crazy person in the middle of the street and made a lot of crowd there. But after what happened, he decided, he choose not to fall in love with TOP. That guy couldn’t even hold his words, he left Jiyong waiting for 3 fucking hours and did not show up, only saying goodbye through a phonecall. Jiyong didn’t even know why he ever thought TOP and Seunghyun was the same person. They were totally different. At least Seunghyun didn’t left him like that. At least Seunghyun was always there for him.
Or so Jiyong thought. Because he wasn’t.
Jiyong met Seunghyun again a week after the family dinner at his botique, where Seunghyun accompanied Hyeyoon to fit her wedding dress. His personality changed 100%. He wasn’t the playful silly Seunghyun who like to throw jokes and insults at him. It was painful for Jiyong to have Seunghyun there but not saying a word to him. He even avoided eye contact with the latter. Jiyong pretend to be happy for Hyeyoon, he didn’t want Hyeyoon to feel sad. Her face was beaming with joy, even though later she asked Seunghyun if he’s sick, because he really didn’t say a word that day. He just sat at the sofa across the small podium where Hyeyoon was standing, and he only nodded whenever Hyeyoon asked him if it looks good on her. Jiyong watched Seunghyun’s sad expression. He didn;t know why the older man put that kind of expression on his face, but Jiyong didn’t like seeing him sad. The designer tried to keep Hyeyoon happy by praising her in her wedding dress. He wasn’t lying, she does look verry pretty. But why doen’t it feel right? Why does it hurt Jiyong that Seunghyun was not the one planning this wedding with him?
“Pardon me, Jiyong-ah?” Younggi was sure he misheard the boy. “You want to what?”
“I.. stopped writing with TOP a while ago, and I think.. I will never will write to him again.”
“Just because you’re going to marry soon?” Younggi waved the invitation card in front of him. “You can’t do that. You don’t lose a friend because of a marriage. I..” Younggi didn’t know what to say. He was really hoping a very happy ending for Jiyong and this TOP, but this ending? He wasn’t expecting.
Jiyong gave him another sad smile. “I .. everything in life is a choice, Ahjussi. But when it’s life who choose for us, when life choose us a different path than the path we wanted, what can you do?”
Hearing this, Younggi can only smile and give Jiyong a hug. He can only wish the best for the young boy and promised him he’ll be there at his wedding.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Why so gloomy, dear cousin?”
Yoochun who already came back from his honeymoon sat down beside Jiyong at the sofa in the recording room. Yoochun was free today, and when he called Jiyong to say that he missed his cousin and wanted to see him, Jiyong agreed to come to Yoochun’s building.
“Not happy that you’re going to marry soon?”
Jiyong did not answer. He just looked blankly at nothing in front of him. He hadn’t met Seunghyun for 2 months. He called his office but they always had a reason to not connect him to Seunghyun. And he was afraid to ask for his number, because what kind of fiance are you asking for your fiancees brother’s cellphone number? For the same reason he refused to ask Jaejoong or Yoochun for Seunghyun’s number. From what Hyeyoon told him, Seunghyun didn’t came home the night they had dinner together, and he was very busy lately she barely see him at home. What was wrong with Seunghyun? What happened that night? What did Jiyong do? Why was he avoiding him since?
“Hey,” Jiyong was a littlle startled when somebody pat his knee. “Oh, Yoochun Hyung,” he answered weakly. Yoochun tilted his head and frowned at Jiyong’s reaction. He know his cousin could be an arrogant bastard sometimes, but in front of him Jiyong usually was so bubbly and cute. He never saw Jiyong so sad except when he came to his house one night, crying his eyes out and telling him he was never going to talk to Dami again for making their parents leaving him alone in Seoul.
“What’s wrong, man?” Yoochun leaned forward and clasped his hands to rest his chin on top of them. “You seemed so.. lost.”
“I am, Hyung,” Jiyong said honestly. “Hyung.. did you.. have you heard anything.. about Seunghyun lately?”
Yoochun’s ears perked up at this. He raised his eyebrows and smiled. “Seunghyun?”
“Yes,” Jiyong was hesitating at first, but he already asked, so he decided to keep asking. “I, uh.. haven’t heard from him for weeks.”
“Reeaally?” Yoochun said with an amused tone. “I thought you guys keep in touch. I mean.. you’re going to be in-laws, right?”
Actually Yoochun didn’t agree with this marriage. He liked Hyeyoon, she’s a wonderful person although Seunghyun never officially introduced them. From Seunghyun’s story, Hyeyoon was a wonderful sister, and the siblings love each other dearly. But personally, Yoochun wanted Jiyong to end up with Seunghyun. He was so sure he saw something there, he saw some sparks between them. He also see something in Seunghyun’s eye whenever Jiyong was around. He hadn’t seen there for a long time. The male was a little bit sad when he heard that Jiyong was in an arranged marriage with Choi Hyeyoon, who happened to be Seunghyun’s sister. He was helpless, and Jaejoong had already warned him to stay out of it because it could break the Chois and the Kwons good relationship. So Yoochun did not interfere the marriage plan. It’s just, he thought Seunghyun and Jiyong still got along well despite the arrangements, and hearing Jiyong hasn’t heard from Seunghyun for 2 months surprised him.
“He.. kind of.. dashed off the night Hyeyoon Noona and I was introduced, and I only met him a couple of time since. But he didn’t talk to me,” Jiyong let out a frustrated sigh. “And now I really haven’t seen him for a while. He was.. I don’t like losing.. a friend like this.”
“Dashed off?” Jiyong nodded. “Did you do something to him?”
Jiyong creased his brows, trying to remember what he said wrong that night. “I was just telling him about a friend I had, about how I felt like.. I told you about the letters, right?” Jiyong waited for Yoochun to nod before he continue, “I told him how this guy, just through letters, just by a piece of paper, can make me feel.. I don’t know, cured? He made me feel something I couldn’t explain.”
“Love?” Yoochun knows about the younger man’s sexual orientation, and how frustrated it made him. He also knew about this penpal he was talking about, Jiyong told him since they started writing to each other. What Yoochun didn’t know was how big his effect to Jiyong’s life.
“If love.. if love was like having a thousand of butterflies in your tummy just by reading a letter he gave you, or you feel something was like.. going to explode when you hear his voice at the phone-“
“You even talked to this guy now?”
“No,” Jiyong shook his head, leaning further back to the sofa and runs his hand to his now brown-reddish hair, “Only by phone. Once. Is it love, Hyung?”
Yoochun thought about the answer and smiled before he nodded. “I feel the same to Jaejoong. And for addition, when you’re in love, it’s like he’s the reason for everything you do. He makes you do unreasonable things, make you feel things you never felt before even if it’s not a good feeling. And he constantly pops to your mind when you’re not even thinking about him.”
The last lines made Jiyong move forward. “I.. uh..” Seunghyun always popped to my mind, even when I’m thinking about needles he would be there, Jiyong remembered. “Hyung can I ask you something?” Yoochun nodded and Jiyong asked him again, “Is it possible.. to love two.. person at once?” He knew he already know the answer, but he wanted to be sure. He wanted to be sure he’s right.
“I don’t think so. Either you only feel love for a person, or the two person was actually one person,” Yoochun did not even paused before answering. He removed his hands and took Jiyong’s smaller one to hold them atop his lap. “Look, Ji.. this arranged marriage, if you’re hesitating, it, means you’re not.. you don’t love her, do you?” when Jiyong did not answer, Yoochun know he’s right. “Ji, this is your life. Don’t let your parents decide what’s best for your life.”
“But they are my life, Hyung,” Jiyong answered, making Yoochun sighed. He knew Jiyong was a spoiled kid. He was always given anything he asked for, and he was not use to decide anything on his own until his parents and sister left him alone in Seoul. Yoochun agreed with Dami at the time, it was a right desicion, and it changed Jiyong’s personality to a better one. He couldn’t debate with what Jiyong said was because this was no longer Jiyong as a spoiled brat, but he was a good son. “I owed them so much in life and.. this is the least I could do to make them happy. I never made them happy before, Hyung. Besides, it’s not lke I’m in a relationship yet.”
Yoochun did not answer that. He didn’t want to continue having this conversation. Jiyong was such a selfless person now, and what Yoochun wanted was him to be selfish and take action for his own life. “So you want to know about Seunghyun.”
Jiyong suddenly remember the reason they had this conversation. He was asking about Seunghyun. “Yes, Hyung. He just.. disappear. It’s like he moved to another country or something. I-“
“He did.”
“-not even a ca-what?” Jiyong stopped. “What did you just say, Hyung?”
Yoochun couldn’t stand the hurt that showed in Jiyong’s brown eyes, so he stood up and pretend to look at the papers at the table in front of them. “He moved Ji. He went to the US because one of his father’s company’s making a deal with a US shipping company and he had to maintain the office there. He moved there last week, and don’t even start,” Yoochun turned around when he heard Jiyong stood up. He knows Jiyong was going to get furious at him, he can hear the heavy breathing sound Jiyong made, and when he saw Jiyong, the younger male had tears in his eyes and his face was all red. “I didn’t know that he didn’t tell you. He said he already tell everybody he knew and I assume you were one of them.”
“He.. he didn’t,” Jiyong was not able to talk. He couldn’t believe what he just heard. Did Yoochun just told him that Seunghyun had moved to the States?
“Didn’t Hyeyoonssi told you? I mean.. you met her a couple of times this two weeks. She didn’t even said anything about him?”
Yoochun felt guilt punched him in the face when Jiyong leave without saying a word. He felt awful, but he didn’t know what to do. Seunghyun had made him promise.
Flashback
“What do you mean?? In two days? Hyun are you serious?”
Seunghyun didn’t look up. He was looking at a spot on the carpet of Jaejoong’s apartement while the older man was furiously pacing in front of him. Yoochun told him to calm down, and eventually pulled him to sit on his lap and hugged his waist to stop him from standing up.
“Seunghyun-ah.. what happened?” Jaejoong asked in a softer tone. “Why so suddenly?”
Seunghyun hesitated for a while, but when he started talking, he couldn’t stop. He told them about when he called the radio station, when he gave them his PO Box number, when he started writing to Dragon, when receiving letters from the other became like a dopping for their day, when they plan the meeting.. and then Jiyong came to the picture, he told them how Jiyong stole his heart that day, how he was able to say he love someone and it was Jiyong ,how he was confused and wondered how he could love two persons at once, and then he told them about the dinner with the Kwons, how his sister was so in love with Jiyong that it breaks his heart if he ever broke hers, and then he told them how he discovered that Jiyong was actually Dragon, the person he wrote to all this time.
Jaejoong had a hand covering his mouth when Seunghyun finished his story, and he squirmed from Yoochun’s lap to sit beside Seunghyun and hugged him. Seunghyun was shaking, he was sobbing so hard and it hurts the newly wed to see him like this. Seunghyun was always their joker, who always smile no matter what, and seeing him crying like this broke their hearts.
“I.. tried to burn the letters Dra-Jiyong sent me, but in the end, I put down the fire before I even put them in it,” Seunghyun finally said when he calmed down and had a cup of hot chocolate in his arm, and Yoochun’s arm aroung his shoulder while Jaejoong was sitting on the floor next to him with his chin on Seunghyun’s knee, looking up at him. “I couldn’t. But I can’t stand seeing it either so I put it inside my old room. I barely sleep there now, but.. it was a room fll of my old memories. And Jiyong’s one of them.”
“Seunghyun-ah,” Yoochun rubbed his bestfriend’s arm. “You don’t have to do this. This is not a choice, I mean.. Jiyong doesn’t even love Hyeyoon,” Yoochun raised his eyebrows when Jae shot him a what-are-you-saying-don’t-make-things-worse glare. “Well, no offense, we all know Hyeyoon is adorable. But trust me Seunghyun-ah, she wouldn’t be happy with Jiyong, you know that.”
Seunghyun shook his head. “He will love her eventually. Like you said, my Noona is adorable. And he’ll love her in time,” Seunghyun chuckled sadly. “I.. Hyeyoon Noona has given me more than she should. She protected me from all the bullies when we were small, she wasn’t embarrased that she had a fat, ugly brother-“
“Who turned into a sexy handsome man,” Jaejoong tried o cheer him up but only earned him a frown from Yoochun.
“-she deffended me when I came out to my parents, she support the apartement rent when we first move out and I was busy partying out, she was... I just couldn’t take this away from her. I never seen her so happy like that, you know. She was never so in love before.”
“But you deserve your happines too, Seunghyun-ah,” Jaejoong pouted. Yoochun almost pinched his wife’s pouting lips if he didn’t remember Seunghyun was there with them.
“Her happiness is my happiness, Jae. But rather than staying here, and.. seeing Jiyong marrying my sister, I.. uh.. I have to go, you know? I just have to go away.”
Jaejoong stood up when Seunghyun started crying again and took his mug to put it on the table. The elder then hugged him, and Yoochun did the same. “Just please, please, don’t tell him I’m going. It’s okay to tell him when I’m already there, but please don’t tell me before I go. My heart can’t stand it, it will refuse to go if I know Jiyong knows.”
Flashback end
Yoochun punched the table in front of him. He didn’t know what to do. He really was clueless.