I post, therefore I am.
Hello, everyone.
Here's a bit of writing I did today. (crossposted to my own journal)
I thought some people might, perhaps, maybe, hopefully, find it mildly amusing. Hope it's okay to post without permission. If it's not, then beat me with reeds, why don't you? (Seriously, just delete it if I have breached KW law)
The old jungle sounds fled as the new sounds invaded--gunshots, explosions, screams of those dying and others not nearly so fortunate. Surely, it deafened the soldiers in the midst of it.
Not that Noob would know. He wasn't on the advance team. No, he had flag duty. While he would rather be with his teammates in the thick of the killing, he knew how important his post was. Noob turned to look at the flag, a flutter of blue. The flag was everything. The enemy could not, under any circumstances, capture it. That would end it all.
"Guard duty sux," said Noob's teammate, Kamper. He lay on the ground with the butt of a sniper rifle crammed against his shoulder. He looked at nothing through the gun's scope.
"STFU, Kamper," Noob said.
"Well, it does."
Noob took out his pistol, leveled it at Kamper, and pulled the trigger. The gun barked and spat, but Kamper remained unmoved. Friendly fire was off, after all.
"Don't waste bullets," Kamper said.
"Whatever." Noob reholstered the pistol and returned his grip to his automatic rifle. He swung it back and forth, watching the crosshairs move in response. "Someone has to do it, right?" he asked.
"Yeah, but someone else would be better."
"STFU."
Kamper stuck out his tongue.
The sounds of battle began to grow louder, as if stalking through the jungle toward Noob and Kamper.
"Our team must be kicking ass," Noob muttered. "None of them have respawned yet."
Kamper shrugged one shoulder, the other still keeping the rifle steady.
The gunfire seemed to burst forth even more emphatically for just a few seconds, then died. In fact, all sounds of battle had ended.
"WTF?" Kamper said.
Noob tried running back and forth. His movements were fluid and unhindered. "No lag," he said. "Could everyone else have gotten kicked?"
"No way. Not all of them."
The silence would not end. Kamper wriggled on the ground, shifting his rifle. Noob took a few steps toward the flag.
Like a ballerina, someone leaped from the cover of the trees. He wore a red shirt.
"Shit!" Kamper yelled. He swiveled his rifle and fired. The bullet lanced through the air and tore the red-shirt soldier in half. The pieces of meat fell to earth.
"Must have sneaked through our line," Noob said.
"I don't--" Kamper began to say, then silenced himself as he opened fire on two more soldiers that leaped from the trees. Hit one, missed the other. And even more were coming.
"OMGWTFBBQ!" Noob cried. His automatic rifle jolted in his hands as he fired, strafing the clearing.
"Noob!" Kamper shouted. "I don't think respawning is--"
A grenade landed on Kamper's back, and he disappeared in a spray of dirt, shrapnel, and blood.
"Ha ha, pwned!" a red soldier yelled.
Noob ended the killer's celebration with a burst from his gun. More fell as Noob brought his strafing under control and took time to aim. He just had to keep them back long enough for Kamper to respawn.
One...two....
A bullet bit into Noob's shoulder.
Three...four....
Someone managed to throw a knife and hit Noob in the hip.
Five.
Noob looked around as the five-second respawn time elapsed. Kamper didn't reappear. More bullets tore into Noob as he let his guard down.
Kamper had realized it first, just before he died. Respawning had been turned off.
Noob ran for the bunker. His legs fell out from under him as enemy fire introduced pain and dismemberment. No part of his body was free from holes now. Still, he continued to crawl toward the bunker. He had to get the medikit powerup--it would bring him to full health, give him time to....
The bullet that hit his chest gave him just enough time to watch the enemy capture his flag. They won.
"We are so l33t."
Here's a bit of writing I did today. (crossposted to my own journal)
I thought some people might, perhaps, maybe, hopefully, find it mildly amusing. Hope it's okay to post without permission. If it's not, then beat me with reeds, why don't you? (Seriously, just delete it if I have breached KW law)
The old jungle sounds fled as the new sounds invaded--gunshots, explosions, screams of those dying and others not nearly so fortunate. Surely, it deafened the soldiers in the midst of it.
Not that Noob would know. He wasn't on the advance team. No, he had flag duty. While he would rather be with his teammates in the thick of the killing, he knew how important his post was. Noob turned to look at the flag, a flutter of blue. The flag was everything. The enemy could not, under any circumstances, capture it. That would end it all.
"Guard duty sux," said Noob's teammate, Kamper. He lay on the ground with the butt of a sniper rifle crammed against his shoulder. He looked at nothing through the gun's scope.
"STFU, Kamper," Noob said.
"Well, it does."
Noob took out his pistol, leveled it at Kamper, and pulled the trigger. The gun barked and spat, but Kamper remained unmoved. Friendly fire was off, after all.
"Don't waste bullets," Kamper said.
"Whatever." Noob reholstered the pistol and returned his grip to his automatic rifle. He swung it back and forth, watching the crosshairs move in response. "Someone has to do it, right?" he asked.
"Yeah, but someone else would be better."
"STFU."
Kamper stuck out his tongue.
The sounds of battle began to grow louder, as if stalking through the jungle toward Noob and Kamper.
"Our team must be kicking ass," Noob muttered. "None of them have respawned yet."
Kamper shrugged one shoulder, the other still keeping the rifle steady.
The gunfire seemed to burst forth even more emphatically for just a few seconds, then died. In fact, all sounds of battle had ended.
"WTF?" Kamper said.
Noob tried running back and forth. His movements were fluid and unhindered. "No lag," he said. "Could everyone else have gotten kicked?"
"No way. Not all of them."
The silence would not end. Kamper wriggled on the ground, shifting his rifle. Noob took a few steps toward the flag.
Like a ballerina, someone leaped from the cover of the trees. He wore a red shirt.
"Shit!" Kamper yelled. He swiveled his rifle and fired. The bullet lanced through the air and tore the red-shirt soldier in half. The pieces of meat fell to earth.
"Must have sneaked through our line," Noob said.
"I don't--" Kamper began to say, then silenced himself as he opened fire on two more soldiers that leaped from the trees. Hit one, missed the other. And even more were coming.
"OMGWTFBBQ!" Noob cried. His automatic rifle jolted in his hands as he fired, strafing the clearing.
"Noob!" Kamper shouted. "I don't think respawning is--"
A grenade landed on Kamper's back, and he disappeared in a spray of dirt, shrapnel, and blood.
"Ha ha, pwned!" a red soldier yelled.
Noob ended the killer's celebration with a burst from his gun. More fell as Noob brought his strafing under control and took time to aim. He just had to keep them back long enough for Kamper to respawn.
One...two....
A bullet bit into Noob's shoulder.
Three...four....
Someone managed to throw a knife and hit Noob in the hip.
Five.
Noob looked around as the five-second respawn time elapsed. Kamper didn't reappear. More bullets tore into Noob as he let his guard down.
Kamper had realized it first, just before he died. Respawning had been turned off.
Noob ran for the bunker. His legs fell out from under him as enemy fire introduced pain and dismemberment. No part of his body was free from holes now. Still, he continued to crawl toward the bunker. He had to get the medikit powerup--it would bring him to full health, give him time to....
The bullet that hit his chest gave him just enough time to watch the enemy capture his flag. They won.
"We are so l33t."