i am also very boring la. in the end it is among all the people who are so very much like myself that I feel comfortable.

but glad for that familiar four-year-old feeling of overwhelming pride and idk Wholesome Mutual Support.

had v long and good conversation w marcia after lou's play which felt necessary and idk if it made me feel better or ( Read more... )

I remember watching ning play some weeks ago and thinking, this is a dance. so it delights me when I tell him that I feel stiff, or sometimes I try not to practice with a mirror, and have to let go of what feels like it's Supposed To Be, and he says, me too. or when he asks if I am ready and admits that he is nervous because he hasn't practiced in ( Read more... )

have been watching a lot of self consciously cheesy TV in the form of jane the virgin, missing back when I would come home from rg at like 7.30 and fall asleep on the sofa to whatever chinese drama my grandma was watching at the time and wake up at a weird hour and eat cold dinner left out on the table ( Read more... )

very much wanted to tell you what a lovely comforting presence you are even on the most fleeting and casual of digital platforms from the other side of the world, but the conversation drifted elsewhere ( Read more... )

one of those days i just want to crumble not necessarily because anything bad happened just exhaustion. but also one of those days i don't feel like i deserve sleep ( Read more... )

went to tuni's BEAUTIFUL flat to play w her kitties today and it was such a pure n lovely afternoon. met bev's friend who was v nice (idk why i was surprised, i guess i just don't usually get along with friend's friends that well), we all sat on tuni's floor n talked about everything for like 4 hours because tuni's really good at talking, another ( Read more... )

cannot shake the feeling that if i truly care about something ,it must utterly devastate me, and if it doesnt it means I don't sincerely care enough ( Read more... )

bev said 'is it possible to be happy and down at the same time' (I said, why are you psychoanalysing my friends ( Read more... )

came home last night feeling so happy and full ( Read more... )

so much pain and fear going around and as someone in a position where i don't need to fear for my immediate safety all i can do is grab this feeling of frustrated helplessness ( Read more... )