(no subject)
i've only cried twice - once when we were putting up the posters cause it made it all so real and then when putting the birds to bed (and now as i'm writing this post) but i want someone to hold me, to tell me that it'll be okay even though i know it's not okay, even though i know he's out there somewhere. i want to cry into someone's arms, for them to stroke my hair and just let me cry.
mum told me she wanted me to be strong and that i disappointed her by crying. she yelled at me when we were hanging the posters up. i don't understand. i have no-one else to turn to for affection and she pushed me away. i really... don't understand. why should i be strong? i fucking loved that bird. she knows that. there was no reason for her to say that to me. i don't get it. if one of you could tell me what i did wrong... please, tell me. because i can't see it.
's okay i have a mickey now too. he's making things a little better.
good thing i have my princess tissues.
so i can cry like a princess.