emotionally drained
LONG POST
oh by the way im leaving for SD in the morning at 8 so if i dont update tomorrow its cuz i couldnt plug in my laptop yet....
There is nothing i would like better in the world than if i could just go to sleep right now. but i feel i have wayyy to much to get off my chest.
Ok so here is my fucking out of control day:
It started out with My step sister passing out in teh shower and hitting her head and busting something open in her mouth/nose...blood everywhere
We think maybe she got a concussion adn we stll dont know why she passed out. Anyways my mom asked me to go to her house and check on Michelle when she got home from school. But i had waay to much to do.
First i spent the day with Kevin. We went to see my horse...scratched LC's tongue... blah blah
then my old babysitter wanted me to come over to say goodbye. only it turned into a sobfest because she started sobbing and saying "I am going to miss my girls so much. You are the reason i became a mother. yu were my dream daughters. I pray for u at night and wish that u dont get into trouble at Sd. " She was sobbing so of course that was sad. Then i got home and my lil sister Baylee went into hysterics crying and saying, " i dont want you to leave me" She was hiding under her bed. It honestly tore my heart up. Im going to miss her so much. She is my everything. Then my other sister Ryleigh called me when i went out with my friends nad cried and said she needs me to stay with her. the my step mom cried and i could tell my dad was getting all teary. NEVER HAPPENS... the my step sis who ive never seen cry b4 broke down. She started sobbing and said i dont want u to leave
which meant sooo much because she never shows emotion like that. Shes a tuff girl.
Then to top things off Jim Jay and Kev show up at my house right in the middle of my mom screaming at me for not checking on michelle after school cuz she coulda died from her concussion....ya right.
that was a lil embaressing. So Kev jay jim hay and i went to the open space and smoked and then we went to katies house and sat on the trampoline and watched the stars. THEN her fucking dog ate out food and then threw up all over the place but no one wanted to touch it becausde it was a regurgitated pizza and then the dog ate it. OHHH GROSS...i died..and then this girl walked in and saw it and threw up. hahha
anyways so then i went to Jack and got an oreo shake wit kev
THEN kevin and i had our last night together. SO SO SO Sad...after crying we had some fun...lol...then he took me home. Only it broke my heart because all the sudden before he turned into my driveway he started crying and said he was too afraid to pull in. it was sooo hard. it took alllllll of my strength..everything i had to make myself get out of his car at the end of the night. I love him so much.
I still remember the night we met
You said you loved my smile
But your love for me was like a summer breeze
Oh, it lasted for a while
I could hold on a little tighter I know
But when you love someone you gotta let ’em go so
I’m gonna smile
’cause I want to make you happy
Laugh, so you can’t see me cry
I’m gonna let you go in style
And even if it kills me
I’m gonna smile
Kiss me once for the good times, baby
Kiss me twice for goodbye
You can’t help how you don’t feel
And it doesn’t matter why
Give me a chance to bow out gracefully
’cause that’s how I want you to remember me
I’m gonna smile
’cause I want to make you happy
Laugh, so you can’t see me cry
I’m gonna let you go in style
And even if it kills me
I’m gonna smile
I’m gonna smile
So you can find the courage
Laugh, so you won’t see me hurtin’
I’m gonna let you go in style
And even if it kills me
I’m gonna smile.
oh by the way im leaving for SD in the morning at 8 so if i dont update tomorrow its cuz i couldnt plug in my laptop yet....
There is nothing i would like better in the world than if i could just go to sleep right now. but i feel i have wayyy to much to get off my chest.
Ok so here is my fucking out of control day:
It started out with My step sister passing out in teh shower and hitting her head and busting something open in her mouth/nose...blood everywhere
We think maybe she got a concussion adn we stll dont know why she passed out. Anyways my mom asked me to go to her house and check on Michelle when she got home from school. But i had waay to much to do.
First i spent the day with Kevin. We went to see my horse...scratched LC's tongue... blah blah
then my old babysitter wanted me to come over to say goodbye. only it turned into a sobfest because she started sobbing and saying "I am going to miss my girls so much. You are the reason i became a mother. yu were my dream daughters. I pray for u at night and wish that u dont get into trouble at Sd. " She was sobbing so of course that was sad. Then i got home and my lil sister Baylee went into hysterics crying and saying, " i dont want you to leave me" She was hiding under her bed. It honestly tore my heart up. Im going to miss her so much. She is my everything. Then my other sister Ryleigh called me when i went out with my friends nad cried and said she needs me to stay with her. the my step mom cried and i could tell my dad was getting all teary. NEVER HAPPENS... the my step sis who ive never seen cry b4 broke down. She started sobbing and said i dont want u to leave
which meant sooo much because she never shows emotion like that. Shes a tuff girl.
Then to top things off Jim Jay and Kev show up at my house right in the middle of my mom screaming at me for not checking on michelle after school cuz she coulda died from her concussion....ya right.
that was a lil embaressing. So Kev jay jim hay and i went to the open space and smoked and then we went to katies house and sat on the trampoline and watched the stars. THEN her fucking dog ate out food and then threw up all over the place but no one wanted to touch it becausde it was a regurgitated pizza and then the dog ate it. OHHH GROSS...i died..and then this girl walked in and saw it and threw up. hahha
anyways so then i went to Jack and got an oreo shake wit kev
THEN kevin and i had our last night together. SO SO SO Sad...after crying we had some fun...lol...then he took me home. Only it broke my heart because all the sudden before he turned into my driveway he started crying and said he was too afraid to pull in. it was sooo hard. it took alllllll of my strength..everything i had to make myself get out of his car at the end of the night. I love him so much.
I still remember the night we met
You said you loved my smile
But your love for me was like a summer breeze
Oh, it lasted for a while
I could hold on a little tighter I know
But when you love someone you gotta let ’em go so
I’m gonna smile
’cause I want to make you happy
Laugh, so you can’t see me cry
I’m gonna let you go in style
And even if it kills me
I’m gonna smile
Kiss me once for the good times, baby
Kiss me twice for goodbye
You can’t help how you don’t feel
And it doesn’t matter why
Give me a chance to bow out gracefully
’cause that’s how I want you to remember me
I’m gonna smile
’cause I want to make you happy
Laugh, so you can’t see me cry
I’m gonna let you go in style
And even if it kills me
I’m gonna smile
I’m gonna smile
So you can find the courage
Laugh, so you won’t see me hurtin’
I’m gonna let you go in style
And even if it kills me
I’m gonna smile.