Fanfic
Charlie/Larry Numb3rs
I do not own the characters, the ideas, etc. et.c
Ice Cream
One shot
“Come on Larry, you at least have to try it.”
“Charles...”
“Lawrence...”
“No,” Larry shook his head. He just couldn’t.
“Please?”
“But it’s not white.”
“It is white.” Charlie smiled just a little. Larry reminded him of a preschooler.
Well preschoolers didn’t look that good in shorts.
“It’s got brown spots.”
“It’s still white. Vanilla bean ice cream won’t kill you. It’s really good. You like regular vanilla, vanilla bean is just vanilla to the nth degree. Take a leap for me.”
“It’s got BROWN spots.”
“Yeah but they make it good! I’ll take my clothes off if you try it.”
Larry looked like he was going to fold up on himself, one hand pressing his forehead, the other squashing his cheek into his mouth. “That’s really, really unfair Charles, because that implies that you won’t take them off if I don’t try it. I thought you’d be more understanding than this. Clearly I was wrong.”
Charlie opened his mouth to speak but Larry just shook his head.
“No...no I know it’s not your fault and really I can’t say that I blame you but really I just like my food white. It’s uncomplicated. How can people go on the South Beach diet, I ask, or any of the others that give up everything white? I like bread, Socrates liked bread... he might not have had white bread but I think he’d have to agree. I like milk-you know that I like milk. And if I don’t eat it Charles, I could get naked.”
“You could get naked...” Charlie smiled, crossing his arms and leaning against the kitchen counter.
“You won’t have sex with me?”
“Did I say that?”
“Charles... but... fine.”
“Fine?”
“Yeah fine,” Larry opened a drawer and got out a spoon. He got a large spoonful and closed his eyes. He shoved it in his mouth and started choking...well at least trying to hyperventilate with food in his mouth. He swallowed and fell to the floor.
Charlie gasped. “I didn’t think you’d actually do it.” He sat on the floor and pulled Larry to him, wrapping him. “It’s okay.”
Larry nodded into Charlie’s shoulder. “It was scary.”
“I can imagine.”
Larry uncovered his face and pulled away, looking up at Charlie, smiling comparatively. “It was good.”
Charlie grinned. “So will you lick it off of me?”
“Let’s not get hasty. This takes time. But maybe next week?”
“I think I can pencil you in. But now...”
“No, I don’t want you naked.”
“You don’t?”
“Charles, we are in your father’s house.”
“My house,” Charlie automatically corrected.
“We are in your house, where your father lives, and who left saying he was getting steaks.”
“Yeah but he didn’t want to see us have sex...”
“Are you willing to bet on that?”
“No... are we going to stay on the floor?”
“Oh yes, because we’ll know when Alan arrives and have time to zip up.”
Charlie nodded “OH. Good idea.”
Charlie was in Larry’s office furiously scribbling across the chalk board. Larry wasn’t in, but Charlie decided that he should be there in five minutes and thirty-eight seconds, forty-five if he got a drink of water at the fountain.
He heard the door open but didn’t look behind him. “You let class out early.”
“Most of them fell asleep, the ones that didn’t were creepy. They didn’t blink, just stared at my crotch. I was beginning to wonder if they thought my penis was talking.”
“Huh?” Charlie looked up realizing he had missed a cue. Larry came up behind him hugging him but he had a thought and had to follow it through, and Larry didn’t hold too tight, and when he tried to drag him away from the chalk board he went under Larry’s arm and escaped still fiddling with his equation.
“Charles Edward Eppes what brought this on?”
“I don’t know what you mean. I’m working on my cognitive theory.”
“Yes...and right now it looks strangely like P=NP.”
“It does not,” Charles looked up at the board. “Oh, I guess it does. Yes... did I solve P=NP because it looks really close...”
“Charles...”
“I have to present tomorrow.”
“You do great at presentations.”
“Not to thousands of angry mathematicians.”
“They all aren’t angry.”
“Can I call in sick? I mean I can feel something coming on Larry...can you call for me?”
“Charles.”
“Right. I’ll call in and it’ll be solved. Or better yet I can fall down some steps and hurt myself, not badly just enough to...”
“It’s like vanilla bean ice cream. You might puke, but you’ll get through it.”
Charlie smiled. “Yeah...”