Comments | kyohana: (без темы)

kyohana

(Untitled)

Oct 17, 2006 08:38

.....for that VERY important date known as blueutopiah's birthday!!

I had every intention of posting this on her special day, but when I got to the hotel in Williamsburg, I discovered that the one and ONLY computer they had in their 'Business Office' was broken. It was a sign, I tell you... a sign... get a laptop!!

I only hope, Blue, that you had a ( Read more... )

Comments 8

hcolleen October 17 2006, 18:36:35 UTC

Pretty picture...need to find or cap it and its companion. I have !Idea for them ;) If you have them, could you send them to me? *begs*

Liked the teaser...though a couple of typos?
Yusuke, however, gave him one. Crossing his arms, he said, “so, talk.”
Should "one" be "none" and the "So" should be capitalized.

That's all...I liked the teaser...now for the stupid question...have I read any of it? If not, feel free to punish. I haven't been reading a lot recently (or not a lot online due to lack of time)

hcolleen October 17 2006, 21:40:22 UTC

I do have the one Hiei pic and will send it. Let me see if I have the companion as well and if so, I'll email them both to you (but one, certainly).

I'm glad you enjoyed the teaser, and to answer your question regarding the 'one'; it should be 'one' because Yusuke is planning to give Hiei an argument or just be difficult in answering the fire demon's questions. And I didn't capitalize the 's' in 'so' because the quote is part of the sentence.

And I'm sure you've probably read the story, but if not, it's on both ff.net and aff.net.

hcolleen October 17 2006, 22:01:51 UTC

If I reviewed it, I read it...if not, then not.

Even if the quote is part of the sentance, it still is, in and of itself, a sentance. It's something being said, which sets it off from the rest of the sentance. Had he been saying something prior, in the same sentance, it wouldn't be capitalized, but he didn't say "crossing his arms" so the quote still needs a capital letter.

I used to be an English major before I graduated with a psych degree...and I know I over use commas and under use semicolons (mostly because they were never explained to me)...and I may be being nitpicky...

kyohana October 18 2006, 13:22:01 UTC

Okay -- I corrected... actually revised that particular quote. And I'm so glad that you let me know that it needed to be corrected... thanks so much!

blueutopiah October 18 2006, 03:21:12 UTC

I love that screencap. And you write the most beautiful hiakus. Thank you for remembering my birthday.

And the teaser? You're a whore I WANT TO SEE MORE. And I like how you characterized Yusuke. Well done.

and I like dick too.

kyohana October 18 2006, 13:30:06 UTC

The chapter will be completed and posted by the weekend. I wrote a little bit while I was on my vacation (much to the displeasure of one of my roommates who thought I was writing a post for our role-playing group -- which I'm seriously considering quitting). I plan to finish the chapter in between catching up at work as well as all my free time this weekend.

I'm glad that you liked Yusuke's characterization. I wanted him to be angry with Hiei for leaving but also to be his usual sarcastic self.

Oh and once I find just the right frame and mat, I WILL be sending that haiku to you!

blueutopiah October 19 2006, 03:53:39 UTC

You're not the bomb - you're the missle. I would love another picture!

So, the role playing group is still going downhill?

kyohana October 19 2006, 11:46:43 UTC

Yeah, it is. It has been since our last 'mission'. It seems to be as if the only two people who matter are the moderator of the group and the person she's designated as her 'second in command'. The mod NEVER tells us ANYthing about our 'mission' so it's hard to do any kind of decent writing. I know that she and the second communicate with each other via email as to what's going to happen but neither lets the rest of us knows ( ... )