Fic Post 2

[kyokyon]

Title: In Die Nacht
Author: gue laaahh
Fandom: Tokio Hotel
Pairing: TomxBill
Rating: PG-13
Warnings Kissing. Dude!
Summary: First sin, when their bodies realize that this isn't brotherly love anymore
Author Notes: Again, Blame acu_saree, I'm not responsible for any of these. Ugh, it was written on my cellphone on the way to work yesterday... so grammatical

Comments

[acu_saree]

I love the summary you made, alot!

Viva TXB!!

[acu_saree]

this deserve a cup cake...

write more TXB so I will be more happy ^-^

[kyokyon]

Ahahahahah, is the cupcake the cappuccino one? I'd like to eat it XD Thanks dul. you owe me BushidoxBill for this, remember? hmmm?

[ayaneva]

:D Absolutely adorable. :3

[kyokyon]

Thanks a lot for reading! ^_^

[animegoil]

Really cute, but there's a lot of grammar mistakes, which makes it sound amateurish.

....Oh, I just saw that warning about writing it on your cellphone and about the grammar mistakes. Honestly, that doesn't excuse anything. Please beta your things before you post them. I would be embarrassed to post a less-than-finished product. It doesn't kill to wait a couple hours to proof your works before posting. That shows respect not only to the readers, but to yourself and your writing.

All that said, it was really cute, and I liked that it was Gustav who took control of things when Tom's being too egotistical to pay attention to what's going on around them. It was a nice change from always-on-the-lookout-Tom, since I'm sure there's got to be moments where he's distracted and doesn't notice if there's something going on with Bill. <3

[kyokyon]

Whoa. Thanks a lot for the review. But seriously, I was in net-cafe and running out of time when acu_saree kept on nagging me to post and well,well,well, she posted it to community without me knowing ^^;; So also I kind of not really good in english and i also don't have a beta currently. soo.... *sighs*

But anyway, thanks again for the nice review and pointing out my mistakes. Oh god, now i really want to delete it from the comm XD Haha. Yeah. Tom definitely should pay more attention to his brother!! I'm lurking to your works now. watch out! <3

[steinsgrrl]

Very sweet. I loved the repetitiveness of certain thoughts, and then the extrapolation of action. Like this: "Bill did not back away, Bill did not push tom and slap him. Bill did, curl his fingers on Tom’s rapper shirt. Bill did part his lips and snuggle closer."
I'm not sure if some would think that is some sort of grammatical error, but it's not, it's a stylistic choice. I sometimes write the same way, if the mood is right.
I didn't see much in the way of grammar errors as much as punctuation. You are fine, for the most part, but yes, if you know you have errors, you should probably get a beta. Because you write well, you have wonderful thoughts here, and you should want it to be as perfect as possible. (Truthfully, I've seen much worse)
I'm glad you posted this. :)

[kyokyon]

Thanks! <3 as mentioned above, i don't have a beta currently (I had, but it was long ago and i kind of feel ashamed to contact her because. i dunno...) About the grammatical error, oh, how i wish i could roll back time and ask anyone to beta it first T_T I kind of suck in punctuation. When things were written i just kept on and on and didn't realize that the lines and words weren't rally connecting XD

I have not written anything in years and when it came out, i realized that bandom's writings really change all my style. There are several great writers whose style really effect my writing and i couldn't say anything but thank them. So, if you are into bandomship, you should have some names come to your head ^_^

Thank again!

rothschild edouard

[anonymous]

Hi