the depression is coming back again - i can feel it. nik's all excited about things and i'm happy that he's happy, but i feel like i'm isolating again. he's got his friends at work and when he gets home its email and reading. the people in the park are great, but they're all making plans with each other and talking about things that happened ( Read more... )

I've been a bad person and not posting. Actually, the past week has been really busy and i've hardly had time to breathe, much less post. A quick summary, simply for posterity - oh, mess with it. Its been busy. i'll write more later when i have the energy.

Feeling apathetic. Does it really matter that I post? Does it really matter that i breathe or come to work or drive or get out of bed in the morning? would anyone really care - or even notice? its so hard to care anymore - or to even fake caring anymore. today is not a good day.

yesterday was not a good day. today, with any luck, will be a bit better. i'm alone in the office now listening to soft and soleful instrumentals that fit the cloudy day outside. i feel like i should be in a japanese garden meditating in the soft rain.

k

i wonder if its coming to an end. i know that i'm still a part of it, but i feel like i'm starting to fade into the background. my importance hinged on being the one withe the email list - being the one with the site and the camera. now i'm not. its better for the group, i know. is just sad - like the end is coming and it'll start going the ( Read more... )

Missed Monday again and feeling a bit woozy. Need food and too much caffeine last night ( Read more... )

The park last night was kinda boring, actually. Not much talking. My migraine is back so i'm not feeling so well either. The bark park crew is actually pretty active bunch - something pretty much every weekend not to mention the nights. And the other day Claire, Teresa and and I went for coffee and that was very nice ( Read more... )

AHHHHHRRRRRRGGGGGGG!!!!! It's not even 10 and he's not even in the office and i already want to string his neck.

I can feel the week going downhill already and its only Monday. Depressing ( Read more... )

Did I remember to post yesterday? I know i thought about it, but things were a bit wierd. It was Nik's Bday and we had chinese all day - today is catfish and tomarrow is his bbq and chinese again for dinner. Yum ( Read more... )