What kind of a Villain are you?
The Villainy Test
1. You find a wallet on the floor filled with ten pound notes, do you:
A. Immediately take the wallet to the police and hand it over, still filled with the money
B. Help yourself to some of the money and then take it to the police
C. Take the money, throw the wallet in the bin and spend the cash on stolen blueprints for the nearest bank
2. You see a small child eating your favourite ice cream, do you:
A. Ask the child where he got the ice cream and set off to buy your own
B. Explain to the child that ice cream is bad for the teeth and make them feel guilty enough to hand it over
C. Organise two henchman to suspend the small child upside down over a duck pond while you enjoy the icy goodness of their treat.
3. Your parents agree to buy you any birthday present you want, do you ask for:
A. Nothing, you would rather your parents treated themselves
B. A new hi-fi and games system so you can lock yourself away in your bedroom.
C. A small island in the middle of the Pacific, fully equipped with secret hideout, submarine base and lasers
4. When buying a new house what room is your priority:
A. An ecologically sound conservatory
B. A huge television room so you can spy on your nearest and dearest
C. An underground lair complete with torture devices and a shark-filled pool.
5. You have a red button in front of you that you have been told never to press, do you:
A. Quietly read a book, never giving the button a second thought
B. Stroke the button gently, always feeling tempted to give it a good push.
C. Instantly press the button, you built this doomsday device so why shouldn’t you use it!
6. An army of robots are about to take over your town, do you:
A. Find a way to foil the robots and destroy them forever
B. Find a way to foil the robots but keep one just in case you might need it one day
C. Find a way to foil the robots because frankly your army of GIANT SPACE ROBOTS will do a better job
7. You need to hire a henchman, who do you hire:
A. Your mum
B. A couple of ex-cons you hired through ebay
C. A suitably subservient weakling who will bow to your every needs…and a GIANT SPACE ROBOT
8. You have captured your heroic foe and can at last be rid of him, do you:
A. Have a change of heart, let him go and give yourself up to the authorities
B. Give the hero five minutes to escape from a shrinking room while making a quick getaway
C. Take a long time to explain your convoluted plans for ruling the world, realise the hero has escaped and send your trained flying monkeys after him
Mostly As
To be fair you don’t really have a villainous bone in your body. In fact, I suspect you would rather share a nice cup of tea with your foe, talk about old times and generally have a nice time. It’s probably best to give up villainy now and try something more suited to your needs, say knitting or looking after bunnies.
Mostly Bs
Okay so you have some villainous traits but you’re not quite ready for big time yet. You’re the kind of villainous soul that would pull only half the legs off a spider so they would have some chance to get away. With a little training you could be a decent villain but you’re no way ready for the big league.
Mostly Cs
Hello future megalomaniac and ruler of the world. You are a vile villain through and through. You’ve probably got some plans to take over the world hidden in a draw somewhere and if you haven’t already undergone training in applied villainy at H.I.V.E. (Higher Institute of Villainous Education) then you should be applying for a place now. Oh, and I hear that GIANT SPACE ROBOTS are currently half-price at your local supermarket
I'm Mostly A's. So see, I am a good person afterall!