(Untitled)

[kyrandil]

One of the reasons I didn't move with K was because I believe I need to get better at managing my own social life. With K around, I'd just spend all my time with them. Between not having a daytime engagement yet (so anti-valuing my weeknights alone) and not being willing to invite myself into people's houses, I've been kind of failing. So how do

Comments

[redcat9]

As someone who generally has too much social opportunity and not enough time/energy, I can at least tell you how I got that way, even if it's useless to you

[jennyelfenmass]

This is a lot of what I did, especially the forcing myself to go to parties even if I didn't feel up to it at first. They kept me reasonably well occupied.

[mystery_fish]

No answers, just some thoughts. It's not clear that I'm a good source of advice, given I'm faced with the same dilemma - maybe you should do the exact opposite of what I think :p

1: I suspect some interests, particularly nerdy niche ones, simply are too narrow to have/maintain a social group centered around them; or if you can, it's very rare and not something you should count on being able to do.

Some interests may be non-conducive to sociability - rather than dwelling on them, find others and parallelize your search. Even if you're not sure you'll like them, you'll be doing something, getting experience, and hopefully meeting new people

[kareid]

I struggle with this question myself. I have found that reaching out to people and inviting them over, or out to dinner or whatever, is the most effective way to really see people. It takes a lot of energy and planning though, which is hard.

As far as hobbies, I haven't found a great way of making my major ones social (eg, gardens aren't exactly portable) I've considered trying to pick up some new ones that can be more social, like knitting.

[shadow]

(0) create a regular daytime engagement. it doesn't have to be employment or school - political campaigns are active. Lots of community organizations rely on regular volunteer staffing - http://www.volunteermatch.org/search/index.jsp?l=02143 Doing something each day that makes you feel useful and accountable is a huge step, IME. Having something you do each day makes you feel more interesting, less depressed, and thus more likely to feel social. Again, IME, YMMV, OMGWTFBBQ

[ext_72787]

Where do you want to end up? Do you want an activity-based group which meets on a regular basis where you'd be welcome if you went but not obligated? Do you want more invitations to parties and ad-hoc events? Do you want to establish relationships with a half dozen or so individual people or couples whom you would then feel more comfortable contacting when you want company? Do you want to meet people to date