Fic: "Breakdown" by kyrdwyn (PG-13)
Title: Breakdown
Author: kyrdwyn
Rating: PG-13
Series: Beloved
Fandom: Batman (comics)
Pairings/Characters: Tim Drake (Hints of Tim/Jason)
Summary: Tim finally breaks down.
Warnings: AU. Dark AU.
Beta: None
Previous Parts: Beloved | Confusion | Revelation | Conversation | Dead Man's Memories | Maternal Devotion | Protégé | Exposure | Retaliation | Rescue | Meeting of Minds
The argument went on for a long time. Talia and Slade were convinced the only way to stop Batman was to execute him. Superman and the other members of the Justice League felt there had to be alternatives to outright killing Batman. Midnighter and Apollo, the two men Tim hadn't known from his own world, were siding with Talia and Slade.
Tim stayed for as long as he could, not participating. Back at the League of Assassin's base, he knew they would kill Bruce, Dick, and probably Damian when he started assisting them. There was no discussion. He was only asked to find ways to get Batman to where someone from the League had the opportunity to kill him. A fine line, and one he still internally balked at crossing, but one he thought (hoped) he would be able to live with.
"If there is even a chance that Bruce can be saved, we should--"
Mid-Nite's, Luthor's, voice broke into Tim's thoughts. Hearing that voice talk about Tim's father as if he were a friend, instead of an enemy or a business rival, instead of someone who had tried to kill both Bruce's best friend and Tim's own best friend.... He couldn't take it.
Tim stood, interrupting Guy Gardner. Everyone looked at him, but he didn't return any glances as he turned and walked out of the room, going back to the guest room he'd been given once he'd been released from the infirmary.
Tim removed the cloak and tossed it on the chair before moving to the mirror and staring at himself. He had more lines on his face, pain lines mostly. Under his left eye, his lack of sleep in recent days was frighteningly apparent. The nightmares didn't let him sleep much more than a few hours a night. Last night had been the worst, so far. Visions of his eleven year old self being mutilated by Batman, but not this world's. His Batman, with Dick (in his first Nightwing outfit), Jason in a torn, charred, and bloodied Robin costume, and Tim's biological father Jack Drake cheering Bruce on as he removed Tim's eyes and handed it to Damian, who then ate it. Tim had woken up in a cold sweat, unable to close his eyes again without seeing that image. He'd spent the rest of the night doing sit ups and push ups and any kata he could managed with his diminished perception to keep him busy and not thinking of the nightmare.
Removing the eye patch, Tim stared at his face. Tried to imagine himself in the Robin mask, the Red Robin cowl, any other mask now that he only had one eye.
He couldn't do it.
He picked up a glass on the counter and threw it across the room. It shattered like his future, his memories.
Like him.
Tim sank to the ground, back to the wall, resting his forehead on his knees. After a long moment, he finally let tears fall. Tears for the Tim in this world, for Jason and Slade and Talia, who looked at Tim and saw their lost loved one.
He cried for himself as well, for his fears that he'd be rejected by, or be rejecting, his family. For the loss of the only constant in his life, of his friends, his family. He'd been able to pick up and go on when others had died, when he'd been dismissed from being Robin. But he wasn't so sure he'd be able to go on again this time. Wasn't sure he'd be able to look at Batman - at Bruce - and not see the monster.
Next: Support
Author: kyrdwyn
Rating: PG-13
Series: Beloved
Fandom: Batman (comics)
Pairings/Characters: Tim Drake (Hints of Tim/Jason)
Summary: Tim finally breaks down.
Warnings: AU. Dark AU.
Beta: None
Previous Parts: Beloved | Confusion | Revelation | Conversation | Dead Man's Memories | Maternal Devotion | Protégé | Exposure | Retaliation | Rescue | Meeting of Minds
The argument went on for a long time. Talia and Slade were convinced the only way to stop Batman was to execute him. Superman and the other members of the Justice League felt there had to be alternatives to outright killing Batman. Midnighter and Apollo, the two men Tim hadn't known from his own world, were siding with Talia and Slade.
Tim stayed for as long as he could, not participating. Back at the League of Assassin's base, he knew they would kill Bruce, Dick, and probably Damian when he started assisting them. There was no discussion. He was only asked to find ways to get Batman to where someone from the League had the opportunity to kill him. A fine line, and one he still internally balked at crossing, but one he thought (hoped) he would be able to live with.
"If there is even a chance that Bruce can be saved, we should--"
Mid-Nite's, Luthor's, voice broke into Tim's thoughts. Hearing that voice talk about Tim's father as if he were a friend, instead of an enemy or a business rival, instead of someone who had tried to kill both Bruce's best friend and Tim's own best friend.... He couldn't take it.
Tim stood, interrupting Guy Gardner. Everyone looked at him, but he didn't return any glances as he turned and walked out of the room, going back to the guest room he'd been given once he'd been released from the infirmary.
Tim removed the cloak and tossed it on the chair before moving to the mirror and staring at himself. He had more lines on his face, pain lines mostly. Under his left eye, his lack of sleep in recent days was frighteningly apparent. The nightmares didn't let him sleep much more than a few hours a night. Last night had been the worst, so far. Visions of his eleven year old self being mutilated by Batman, but not this world's. His Batman, with Dick (in his first Nightwing outfit), Jason in a torn, charred, and bloodied Robin costume, and Tim's biological father Jack Drake cheering Bruce on as he removed Tim's eyes and handed it to Damian, who then ate it. Tim had woken up in a cold sweat, unable to close his eyes again without seeing that image. He'd spent the rest of the night doing sit ups and push ups and any kata he could managed with his diminished perception to keep him busy and not thinking of the nightmare.
Removing the eye patch, Tim stared at his face. Tried to imagine himself in the Robin mask, the Red Robin cowl, any other mask now that he only had one eye.
He couldn't do it.
He picked up a glass on the counter and threw it across the room. It shattered like his future, his memories.
Like him.
Tim sank to the ground, back to the wall, resting his forehead on his knees. After a long moment, he finally let tears fall. Tears for the Tim in this world, for Jason and Slade and Talia, who looked at Tim and saw their lost loved one.
He cried for himself as well, for his fears that he'd be rejected by, or be rejecting, his family. For the loss of the only constant in his life, of his friends, his family. He'd been able to pick up and go on when others had died, when he'd been dismissed from being Robin. But he wasn't so sure he'd be able to go on again this time. Wasn't sure he'd be able to look at Batman - at Bruce - and not see the monster.
Next: Support