Multi-chapter | Faraway | chapter 8
Title: Faraway
Author:
kyu_x
Beta by:
lovekame02
Main pairing(s): Akame
Side Pairing(s): Jin/Naka Riisa, RyoKame
Banner: kawaiikame
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: Two super idols, full of themselves. They are the best of the best, the most loved upon Japan. The two of them shared past, but separated and never got along after that. What if they’re forced to be together for 6 months to film a drama?
Chapter Eight - “Sacrifices needs to be made.”
When the sunlight hit Kazuya’s eyes, he started to feel the headache. He tried to force his eyes open but failed miserably. His eyelids were too heavy, so heavy he could feel his eyelashes on his cheeks. Last night was everything but fun, it was everything but a nice evening out with the cast, it was.. It was the night he lost Jin for good probably. The last thing he remembered was following Jin back to the club and seeing him going to Riisa, whispering something to her, giving a glare at Kazuya before taking her hand and leaving the club.
The way Kazuya remembered the blush on Riisa’s cheeks, Jin said something very Jin like Why don't we go back to my place so I can acculturate myself with your body or There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you. Most of the girls Jin used the line probably didn’t even know what acculturation meant. It didn’t matter what Jin said anyway. All he had to do was that half smile of his and that stupid deep stare, with a bit of touching skin; everybody would melt right into his arms.
“Come on! Tell me!” Kazuya rolled over in the bed to half lay on top of Jin’s clotheless torso. He let his finger travel around Jin’s chest, rounding circles around Jin’s nipples, eyes locked on Jin’s. When Kazuya saw the smile on Jin’s face, feelings his hand on his cheek sliding to his hair, Kazuya’s smirk was far gone. The touch, the smile, those eyes.
“I think you own me a drink.”
“Huh?” Kazuya looked at Jin. “What are you talking about?”
“Just play along.” Jin said, using a soft, rather deep voice and Kazuya realized just now it was a beginning of a pick up line. He wondered if Jin did the voice on purpouse or because he was tired after the last two hours.
“Right.” Kazuya cleared his throat, having suddenly a serious face. “Why?” he played along and the smile appearing on Jin’s face was something magical, but Kazuya was pretty sure it wasn’t part of the pick up thing. Jin always said he loved when he was acting like that so he thought maybe the smile had something to do with that.
Kazuya could see Jin’s eyes moving from his eye to another. Kazuya was sure if he would move inch closer, he could see himself from Jin’s eyes and when Jin’s thumb slide across his cheek, Kazuya had to swallow his moan. “Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine.” he said, pulling his hand away leaving Kazuya feeling cold and lonely around his cheek.
“Does that actually work?” Kazuya laughed, trying to ignore the warmth he just felt, and lost pretty much as soon.
“It has gotten me drunk so many times.” Jin laughed, and Kazuya couldn’t help but to think how the woman probably thought Jin was so hot that they didn’t even hear what he said.
“What about if it’s not in a club? If you’d see some hot girl in the streets for example.”
“Why do you wanna know my pick up lines?” Jin let his head fall on the pillow, and his eyes shut down. “It’s not actually any of your business.” he said, but opened his eyes soon. “Except,” he lifted his upper body leaning only inches apart from Kazuya’s face. “You’re planning to use one? They don’t work on men your type, babe.”
“My type?” Kazuya had to ask. Jin knew his type? Even he didn’t really know his type. “Anyway,” he decided to drop it to avoid a meaningless fight. “What if you’d walk at some street and some hot girl would walk towards you. What would you do?”
Jin sighed, locking their eyes again. He looked at them, like he would never see them again, like he was trying to make Kazuya drop it and jump on him. “Fine,” he groaned and rolled his eyes, filling his lungs with air and letting it all out. He licked his lips, focusing on Kazuya’s eyes again. “So I’m just walking on the street, and this chick walks towards me, just a normal day, right?” Jin visualised the situation and Kazuya nodded. Jin smirked, and leaned closer pulling Kazuya half way making his way to Kazuya’s ear. “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?” he murmured against Kazuya’s ear and Kazuya couldn’t believe he was actually blushing to something as stupid as that. It was definitely the fact that Jin was so close, and that it was Jin!
“You actually use that?” Kazuya leaned a bit back to look at Jin in disbelief. And when Jin shook his head, laughing out a bit, Kazuya hit his chest gently, but determitely. “You’ve never used that, have you?” Kazuya’s eyes narrowed and Jin leaned to kiss him on the lips.
After pressing gentle kisses on Kazuya’s lips, tasting them like he never had, Jin smirked against his lips. “No, I have not.”
Kazuya pouted and sat up. “Oh, I know!” he turned on Jin, so bright smile on his face he was sure Jin did not like what he saw. “Use some on me, let’s imagine that-”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
“No!” Kazuya pouted. “I want to know what those girls’ feel.” he said truthfully, not looking at Jin. He was afraid Jin was going to realize the warmth Kauzya was feeling and ignoring for the past months. “I want to..”
“Fine.”
Kazuya turned to face Jin, a bright smile waking up on his face. He sat properly on the edge f the bed. “Okay, so let’s do this. I’m gonna-”
“No.” Jin said, taking Kazuya’s hand, pulling him closer. He pulled Kazuya so close, Kazuya was sure it wasn’t possible to be any closer. Jin’s both hands were around him, other around his neck, running through hhis hair, grabbing it gently, and other around Kazuya protectively, like he was telling he wasn’t letting anybody near him. “Let’s just stay like this, okay?” he murmured on Kazuya’s hair and Kazuya nodded, not being able to think anything. He wasn’t sure what Jin was going to do, or how he should respond to it, but he really wanted to hear Jin using the tone with him, the sedutive one. With that sceneario it wasn’t the mot probably gonna happen that way.
“If beauty were time,” he started, letting his other arm slide to Kazuya’s neck lifting his chin for their eyes to meet, only inces apart. “You'd be eternity.” he said, and Kazuya was sure that was the moment he lost it, there was no way they could keep on hiding. He had to bring this thought up with Jin, but for now, he just wanted to stay there.
Kazuya sighed to the memories, but he still couldn’t have his eyes open. Even if there was a tear on his eye he never noticed. Kazuya could remember walking to the bar side after seeing Jin and Riisa leaving, hand in hand, and after that, Kazuya’s memories were all blur. He was pretty sure he didn’t forget everything, it was just a bit blur, and it would come back to him.
What Kazuya didn’t expect was to hear a groan next to him, which pratically made his eyes wide open, no matter the fight he had trying to open them just seconds before. It didn’t sound familiar, which gave the shock an extra kick and Kazuya swallowed hardly before daring to actually look next to him to find a black hair and a bare back.
Careful not to wake the man up, Kazuya leaned closer to see his face, but failed, when the man turned around, leaning on Kazuya’s hand which he was using to secure himself and Kazuya fell on top of him, making him raise to his elbows.
“Um..” Kazuya lifted his face to find hangoverish Ryo, hair all messed up dazing at him. “Morning?” he said, without actually realizing it sounded more like a question than greet. From the sudden talking Kazuya realized how the headache had found him. How much he ended up drinking was a question he really wanted an answer to.
“Good morning.”
Ryo’s voice was rouch. Probably because he was just woken up and if he’s feeling any of the pain Kazuya was, he wanted to go back to sleep too. Kazuya failed to fight back the urge not to ask how the hell Ryo ended up on his bed, next to him, so far naked. Kazuya didn’t check the lower part of Ryo’s body, though. He couldn’t know by him wearing boxers because even with Jin, he never slept anked, he always put the boxers on. “So.” he starts, but his voice dies. “Did we,” he looked away, trying to find the right words. “So yesterday..”
Kazuya could see by Ryo’s face he knew perfectly well what Kazuya wanted to ask, but the very same smirk told also that Ryo had no intentions answer him before Kazuya had actually asked it. “What happened yesterday?”
“How far can you remember?” Ryo asked, without even blinking, and Kazuya was pretty amazed how calm Ryo was. Maybe that was a sign that they didn’t do anything. Or Ryo thought Kazuya liked him and that’s why he was smirking like an idiot. He thought they were going to be something.
“Um, We were at the club dancing, and-” Kazuya had to think a way to tell how he remembered stuff without telling he started drinking vodka like water after Jin left. “I remember Jin telling me he was leaving, and then,” Kazuya remembered walking to the barside and ordering few shots without raising from the chair in awhile, but he couldn’t remember when he hooked up after Ryo cause he told Ryo to wait in the table.
What Kazuya was not expecting was to feel pair of soft, fully lips on his. Kazuya let out a voice he didn’t know he even possessed. “R-Ryo.” he broke the kiss. “I- I can’t.” he sighed. He actually didn’t even want to, that much. “I got this.. this thing with a guy and.. I can’t do anything before I’ve talked with him.”
“You cheated on you boyfriend last night, then.” Ryo let his body fall on the bed, closing his eyes. Kazuya looked at Ryo, and he couldn’t decide whether to feel sad or guilty of what happened. He didn’t feel bad about what happened, though. Well for one, he couldn’t remember it, and the look on Jin’s face before leaving the club with Riisa told him that he wasn’t the only one getting laid that night. He knew the sex was good, and he did wish he could remember it. “Is it Akanishi?”
Kazuya’s eyes got widened and he gave another fast look at Ryo. “Jin’s straight.” he ended up saying and was pretty happy that Ryo had still his eyes closed. And when Ryo let out a chuckle, Kazuya knew Ryo noticed he was lying. All he had to wonder was how the fuck did Ryo know.
“He might be a lot of things, like arrogant and rather stupid, but straight isn’t one of those things.”
“Why do you think so?” Kazuya laid down next to him, for few reasons. He was tired, and wanted to just lay there without moving, and he really wanted to know how Ryo noticed. “He isn’t that arrogant when you get to know him, actually.” Kazuya chuckled. “He’s actually rather sweet. He is really selfish, though, and he is rather stupid.” he said, letting out a small laugh. “He’s one of those guys who need taken care of,” he turned his face on Ryo’s who was dazing at him, with a small smile. “You know?”
“He’s in love with you, you know?” The smile disappered from Kazuya’s face as he sat up slowly. “And it’s clear that you got something more than a ‘thing’ going on with him.” Ryo said, sitting up next to Kazuya. “We did have sex last night, because you begged me to make you forget. And because I do think you’re hot as fuck, I went with it. And I’m sorry cause now I feel like I just used you, since you were drunk, and-”
“No!” Kazuya stopped him right there. “Don’t be sorry.” Kauzya smiled at him. “It was one of those friends with benefits things. One time only.” he said, then, letting Ryo continue.
“Yeah,” he agreed. “I saw the way Akanishi looked at us, at you. The way he glared when we danced. The way you paniced and ran after him, the way he looked at you before leaving with Nakai. Plus I got an awesome gay radar.” he laughed at his own joke, and was sure the only one who did. Kazuya was in too big of a shock. And Ryo saw that too. “Anyway, I followed him outside and..”
“Hey, Akanishi!” Ryo saw Jin turning to him, giving him a look from head to toe, and Ryo guessed he didn’t know what to say. “Got a minute?”
“What do you want, Nishikido?”
Ryo stepped closer. “Can I talk to you for a minute.” he said then, giving a quick glance at the girl when he seemed to get Jin’s attention. “In private.” he added, and watched Jin telling Riisa to go to the cab already and he would follow in a minute.
“What?”
Ryo licked his lips, taking a heep breath. “I was thinking about Kazuya, and I thought about asking him out tonight, so-”
“Why?”
After Ji’s rude interruption, Ryo gave him a small smirk, making a proper eyecontact. “Cause I’m falling for him.” he lied and watched every reaction he could get.
“For one, I meant why are you telling me this,” Jin licked his lips. “And two, you aren’t falling for him, you’re falling for his looks, his body, his fame. So you just want the public to think you’re in love.” he said, leaning a bit closer, just close enough to whisper, “But you know what, I won’t let it happen. So leave him alone.” he leaned back to look at Ryo with pure madness glowing in his eyes. “Because if you break his heart, I will break your face.” he pointed Ryo before following Riisa to the cab.
“You love him.” Ryo said and Jin stopped on the tracs. “Like really love him, love him.” he added and saw Jin getting on the cab, not giving him another look.
“Jin said that?” Kazuya looked at Ryo, and couldn’t decide whether to be happy or mad about it. “You think he had sex with her?”
“I don’t know about that but are you going to tell him we had sex?” Ryo asked then, being fine with either way.
“He probably knows.” Kazuya sighed, getting Ryo’s full attention. “He actually gave me permission to have sex with you. I don’t know if he meant it, though.”
“Well let’s think it this way, if he tells you they didn’t have sex, will you believe him?”
“Yes.” Kazuya nodded then, sitting up again. “He has a big mouth, but he doesn’t lie.” he said standing up. “I’m going to go to shower.” he said before walking to his nathroom thinking how happy he was that nothing was awkward between the two of then. If Kazuya could remember last night, he was sure things would be different.
--
The next couple of days were rather awkward for everyone, mostly to Kazuya and Jin. Kazuya didn’t know if Jin had done something with Riisa, but the way he was avoiding Kazuya and his eyecontact, they definitely did something.
When the shooting for the day was over, Kazuya walked to Jin, pulling him to the nearest empty room, which ended up being the room where they kept all the clothes. When Kazuya turned back to Jin to face him, he was a bit surprised of Jin who was actually only inches apart, eyes locked on him. Kazuya still couldn’t figure out what he was thinking, though. He was expressionless. Kazuya gulped, ready to start a conversation, but he didn’t actually know what to say.
“Did you fuck him?” Jin ended up asking, eyes now locked on Kazuya’s. Kazuya quickly broke the eye contact, lowering his eyes on the shoes Jin was wearing. Great boots, yeah. He tried to lift his eyes on Jin’s face but everytime he got to the neck and Jin, he looked away. “You fucked him.”
“Yes, well technically he fucked me, but-”
“It’s okay.” Jin interrupted Kazuya and when Kazuya looked at Jin, he had tears in his eyes. Jin was fighting back tears? Kazuya had never seen him like this. Kazuya wanted to ask what did he mean, but he knew Jin would tell him that he gave Kazuya and Ryo his blessing that night so he has no right to be mad about it, but Kazuya could still see how hurt Jin was. That told him Jin didn’t do anything with Riisa, and he didn’t dare to ask.
“Jin,” Kazuya stepped close enough to place his hand on Jin’s arm. “I’m sorry, it should’t have happened and-”
“I already said it’s okay.”
“Well it shouldn’t be.” Kazuya said then and the way Jin looked at his after saying that broke him in pieces. A tear fell from his eyes, full of fear and pain. Like he was afraid he knew what Kazuya had to say. “This isn’t the way relationships works,” Kazuya lowered his look on the ground again. He had to be strong now. He couldn’t cry, he couldn’t show any weakness. “We can’t fuck some random people after every fight, and-”
“I haven’t fucked anyone.” Jin interrupted for the third time after walking into that room. The guilt built up in Kazuya and he wasn’t sure he was able to deal with it. So it was only him. Jin didn’t fuck Riisa. Kazuya felt Jin’s warm embrace around him. “I just need a couple of days to cool off, it’s okay, we’ll get through this.” he whispered and Kazuya broke. He lifted his face to look at Jin, tears falling down.
“It’s not supposed to be like this. Can’t you see it?” Kazuya had trouble talking. He felt his mouth getting drier and drier by every second, his throat was horse and the tears were wetting his face. “It’s not supposed to be okay for me to have sex with Ryo, it’s..” Kazuya licked his lips, like he was thinking whether he should continue or not. “Maybe it’s better if we stay as friends, Jin.”
“Don’t give up on me, Kazuya. Don’t give up on us. I’m sure-”
“Jin, we tried already!” Kazuya interrupted this time, eyes fixed on Jin’s, and the fear and pain turned into slight shock. “We tried only sex, didn’t work out. We tried dating, we didn’t manage to keep it up for even 24 hours! Maybe we’re just not meant to be, Jin, I-”
“We are! Why can’t you see it?” Kazuya started to believe that this interruption game started to get ridiculous when Jin grabbed his arms to take the control. Neither one couldn’t even let the other finish their sentences. “I-” when Jin hesitated of whatever he was saying, Kazuya wasn’t sure how to feel. Was Jin about to tell him he loved him? Kazuya sighed, deciding to give him a hand.
“And how did you end up with that conclusion?”
“I-” Jin repeated and Kazuya was sure. Jin was trying to tell the three words to him. He just couldn’t. “I care about you.” Jin said, and Kazuya told himself he wasn’t disappointed. When he sighed and looked away, Jin lifted his chin, gently brushing his fingers on Kazuya’s cheek. “You don’t believe me?” Jin let go, and for the first time in a long time, Kazuya was actually a bit scared. Then he remembered the medicine cabinet again. Was Jin on drugs at the moment? “You want reasons?” He seemed like he was fighting tears again, loosing the battle at any moment. “I’ll give you the fucking A to Z then!” Jin said, walking closer just to push Kazuya gently against the wall, and placing a hars kiss on his lips.
When the kiss broke, Kazuya looked at Jin’s eyes, trying to find any sign, any sign that Jin wasn’t fully there. But when he started listing stuff he liked about Kazuya, he couldn’t help but to melt on Jin’s arms. “You're Amazing and Beautiful and Crazy,” when Kazuya’s eyebrow jerked, Jin smiled placing a gentle kiss on his lips. “but in the best ways possible.” he added bringing the smile he truly loved back. “You're completely Dazzling and you're Everything I ever wanted.”
When Jin listed things, Kazuya knew he should give him another chance. “You're Flexible,” he added to the list then, making a blush raise against Kazuya’s cheeks. “And you're Gorgeous and Hot and so fucking Intelligent. You have the Juiciest lips I've ever kissed. You're Kind and Loving and Masculine.” Kazuya couldn’t believe Jin just said that. Not with that tone. He was using the tone that he usually used after having a boner. Sure, Kazuya wasn’t as girly as many of his fans may have believed, but the fact that his masculine side was a turn on for Jin, made him happier than it probably should have. “You have No gag reflex.” he showed a small smirk, and Kazuya did his best not to look away.
“You're Outstanding and Pretty. You're Quirky and Real Sweet.” Jin continued, cheating a little and putting R and S together. “You're so Talented it takes my breath away.” Jin said and Kazuya wasn’t sure if he meant acting or as a singer. “You're Unique and Vivacious and one of the Warmest persons I’ve ever met. You're Xtremely hot, with a capital X,” Jin smirked again, and Kazuya decided not to meantion that Jin already used the word hot. “And Yummy. And, last but not least, you're Ze man of my dreams.” He finished, taking a deep breath. “There, you got your reasons, will you believe me now?”
“It’s not that I don’t believe you..” Kazuya said and from the expression he got from Jin, if situation would be any different, he would be in deep trouble. Jin actually used that once when he really got spanked, it wasn’t as nice as porn made it look like.
“You made me split out all that shit after believing me?”
“I tried to say..” Totally not a lie, it was Jin who just told he could list stuff, push him, kiss him and start listing. Kazuya couldn’t really just scream I fucking believe you in the middle of all that. “Why won’t you say you love me?” he changed the subject, he wanted to know, he had the right to know. “Don’t you love me?” When Jin’s eyes lowered, like he was disappointed of himself, Kazuya made a small smile. It wasn’t that Jin didn’t love him, he just couldn’t say it. The words had probably come out of his mouth only once or twice. To his mother most likely.
“I love you, Jin.” Kazuya said then, without hesistation and the look on Jin’s face brightened right away. When Jin was about to lean closer to seal the deal so to speak, Kazuya leaned back. He had o make this clear. There’s only one more chance left. “But I love myself more. And that’s why I have a condition.”
Jin didn’t say anything but his eyes told he wanted to hear more. He had no clue what could Kazuya possibly want, but what Kazuya wanted, he would get. Jin wanted to make sure of that. He wanted to make Kazuya happy, he wanted to share a life with Kazuya, no one else. And if Kazuya had a condition in order for Jin to get that, he’d do anything.
“I will date you properly and permanently this time, I’m hoping,” Kazuya said with a small chuckle. “if you come out to the world.”
TO BE CONTINUED
Author:
kyu_x
Beta by:
lovekame02
Main pairing(s): Akame
Side Pairing(s): Jin/Naka Riisa, RyoKame
Banner: kawaiikame
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: Two super idols, full of themselves. They are the best of the best, the most loved upon Japan. The two of them shared past, but separated and never got along after that. What if they’re forced to be together for 6 months to film a drama?
Chapter Eight - “Sacrifices needs to be made.”
When the sunlight hit Kazuya’s eyes, he started to feel the headache. He tried to force his eyes open but failed miserably. His eyelids were too heavy, so heavy he could feel his eyelashes on his cheeks. Last night was everything but fun, it was everything but a nice evening out with the cast, it was.. It was the night he lost Jin for good probably. The last thing he remembered was following Jin back to the club and seeing him going to Riisa, whispering something to her, giving a glare at Kazuya before taking her hand and leaving the club.
The way Kazuya remembered the blush on Riisa’s cheeks, Jin said something very Jin like Why don't we go back to my place so I can acculturate myself with your body or There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you. Most of the girls Jin used the line probably didn’t even know what acculturation meant. It didn’t matter what Jin said anyway. All he had to do was that half smile of his and that stupid deep stare, with a bit of touching skin; everybody would melt right into his arms.
“Come on! Tell me!” Kazuya rolled over in the bed to half lay on top of Jin’s clotheless torso. He let his finger travel around Jin’s chest, rounding circles around Jin’s nipples, eyes locked on Jin’s. When Kazuya saw the smile on Jin’s face, feelings his hand on his cheek sliding to his hair, Kazuya’s smirk was far gone. The touch, the smile, those eyes.
“I think you own me a drink.”
“Huh?” Kazuya looked at Jin. “What are you talking about?”
“Just play along.” Jin said, using a soft, rather deep voice and Kazuya realized just now it was a beginning of a pick up line. He wondered if Jin did the voice on purpouse or because he was tired after the last two hours.
“Right.” Kazuya cleared his throat, having suddenly a serious face. “Why?” he played along and the smile appearing on Jin’s face was something magical, but Kazuya was pretty sure it wasn’t part of the pick up thing. Jin always said he loved when he was acting like that so he thought maybe the smile had something to do with that.
Kazuya could see Jin’s eyes moving from his eye to another. Kazuya was sure if he would move inch closer, he could see himself from Jin’s eyes and when Jin’s thumb slide across his cheek, Kazuya had to swallow his moan. “Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine.” he said, pulling his hand away leaving Kazuya feeling cold and lonely around his cheek.
“Does that actually work?” Kazuya laughed, trying to ignore the warmth he just felt, and lost pretty much as soon.
“It has gotten me drunk so many times.” Jin laughed, and Kazuya couldn’t help but to think how the woman probably thought Jin was so hot that they didn’t even hear what he said.
“What about if it’s not in a club? If you’d see some hot girl in the streets for example.”
“Why do you wanna know my pick up lines?” Jin let his head fall on the pillow, and his eyes shut down. “It’s not actually any of your business.” he said, but opened his eyes soon. “Except,” he lifted his upper body leaning only inches apart from Kazuya’s face. “You’re planning to use one? They don’t work on men your type, babe.”
“My type?” Kazuya had to ask. Jin knew his type? Even he didn’t really know his type. “Anyway,” he decided to drop it to avoid a meaningless fight. “What if you’d walk at some street and some hot girl would walk towards you. What would you do?”
Jin sighed, locking their eyes again. He looked at them, like he would never see them again, like he was trying to make Kazuya drop it and jump on him. “Fine,” he groaned and rolled his eyes, filling his lungs with air and letting it all out. He licked his lips, focusing on Kazuya’s eyes again. “So I’m just walking on the street, and this chick walks towards me, just a normal day, right?” Jin visualised the situation and Kazuya nodded. Jin smirked, and leaned closer pulling Kazuya half way making his way to Kazuya’s ear. “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?” he murmured against Kazuya’s ear and Kazuya couldn’t believe he was actually blushing to something as stupid as that. It was definitely the fact that Jin was so close, and that it was Jin!
“You actually use that?” Kazuya leaned a bit back to look at Jin in disbelief. And when Jin shook his head, laughing out a bit, Kazuya hit his chest gently, but determitely. “You’ve never used that, have you?” Kazuya’s eyes narrowed and Jin leaned to kiss him on the lips.
After pressing gentle kisses on Kazuya’s lips, tasting them like he never had, Jin smirked against his lips. “No, I have not.”
Kazuya pouted and sat up. “Oh, I know!” he turned on Jin, so bright smile on his face he was sure Jin did not like what he saw. “Use some on me, let’s imagine that-”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
“No!” Kazuya pouted. “I want to know what those girls’ feel.” he said truthfully, not looking at Jin. He was afraid Jin was going to realize the warmth Kauzya was feeling and ignoring for the past months. “I want to..”
“Fine.”
Kazuya turned to face Jin, a bright smile waking up on his face. He sat properly on the edge f the bed. “Okay, so let’s do this. I’m gonna-”
“No.” Jin said, taking Kazuya’s hand, pulling him closer. He pulled Kazuya so close, Kazuya was sure it wasn’t possible to be any closer. Jin’s both hands were around him, other around his neck, running through hhis hair, grabbing it gently, and other around Kazuya protectively, like he was telling he wasn’t letting anybody near him. “Let’s just stay like this, okay?” he murmured on Kazuya’s hair and Kazuya nodded, not being able to think anything. He wasn’t sure what Jin was going to do, or how he should respond to it, but he really wanted to hear Jin using the tone with him, the sedutive one. With that sceneario it wasn’t the mot probably gonna happen that way.
“If beauty were time,” he started, letting his other arm slide to Kazuya’s neck lifting his chin for their eyes to meet, only inces apart. “You'd be eternity.” he said, and Kazuya was sure that was the moment he lost it, there was no way they could keep on hiding. He had to bring this thought up with Jin, but for now, he just wanted to stay there.
Kazuya sighed to the memories, but he still couldn’t have his eyes open. Even if there was a tear on his eye he never noticed. Kazuya could remember walking to the bar side after seeing Jin and Riisa leaving, hand in hand, and after that, Kazuya’s memories were all blur. He was pretty sure he didn’t forget everything, it was just a bit blur, and it would come back to him.
What Kazuya didn’t expect was to hear a groan next to him, which pratically made his eyes wide open, no matter the fight he had trying to open them just seconds before. It didn’t sound familiar, which gave the shock an extra kick and Kazuya swallowed hardly before daring to actually look next to him to find a black hair and a bare back.
Careful not to wake the man up, Kazuya leaned closer to see his face, but failed, when the man turned around, leaning on Kazuya’s hand which he was using to secure himself and Kazuya fell on top of him, making him raise to his elbows.
“Um..” Kazuya lifted his face to find hangoverish Ryo, hair all messed up dazing at him. “Morning?” he said, without actually realizing it sounded more like a question than greet. From the sudden talking Kazuya realized how the headache had found him. How much he ended up drinking was a question he really wanted an answer to.
“Good morning.”
Ryo’s voice was rouch. Probably because he was just woken up and if he’s feeling any of the pain Kazuya was, he wanted to go back to sleep too. Kazuya failed to fight back the urge not to ask how the hell Ryo ended up on his bed, next to him, so far naked. Kazuya didn’t check the lower part of Ryo’s body, though. He couldn’t know by him wearing boxers because even with Jin, he never slept anked, he always put the boxers on. “So.” he starts, but his voice dies. “Did we,” he looked away, trying to find the right words. “So yesterday..”
Kazuya could see by Ryo’s face he knew perfectly well what Kazuya wanted to ask, but the very same smirk told also that Ryo had no intentions answer him before Kazuya had actually asked it. “What happened yesterday?”
“How far can you remember?” Ryo asked, without even blinking, and Kazuya was pretty amazed how calm Ryo was. Maybe that was a sign that they didn’t do anything. Or Ryo thought Kazuya liked him and that’s why he was smirking like an idiot. He thought they were going to be something.
“Um, We were at the club dancing, and-” Kazuya had to think a way to tell how he remembered stuff without telling he started drinking vodka like water after Jin left. “I remember Jin telling me he was leaving, and then,” Kazuya remembered walking to the barside and ordering few shots without raising from the chair in awhile, but he couldn’t remember when he hooked up after Ryo cause he told Ryo to wait in the table.
What Kazuya was not expecting was to feel pair of soft, fully lips on his. Kazuya let out a voice he didn’t know he even possessed. “R-Ryo.” he broke the kiss. “I- I can’t.” he sighed. He actually didn’t even want to, that much. “I got this.. this thing with a guy and.. I can’t do anything before I’ve talked with him.”
“You cheated on you boyfriend last night, then.” Ryo let his body fall on the bed, closing his eyes. Kazuya looked at Ryo, and he couldn’t decide whether to feel sad or guilty of what happened. He didn’t feel bad about what happened, though. Well for one, he couldn’t remember it, and the look on Jin’s face before leaving the club with Riisa told him that he wasn’t the only one getting laid that night. He knew the sex was good, and he did wish he could remember it. “Is it Akanishi?”
Kazuya’s eyes got widened and he gave another fast look at Ryo. “Jin’s straight.” he ended up saying and was pretty happy that Ryo had still his eyes closed. And when Ryo let out a chuckle, Kazuya knew Ryo noticed he was lying. All he had to wonder was how the fuck did Ryo know.
“He might be a lot of things, like arrogant and rather stupid, but straight isn’t one of those things.”
“Why do you think so?” Kazuya laid down next to him, for few reasons. He was tired, and wanted to just lay there without moving, and he really wanted to know how Ryo noticed. “He isn’t that arrogant when you get to know him, actually.” Kazuya chuckled. “He’s actually rather sweet. He is really selfish, though, and he is rather stupid.” he said, letting out a small laugh. “He’s one of those guys who need taken care of,” he turned his face on Ryo’s who was dazing at him, with a small smile. “You know?”
“He’s in love with you, you know?” The smile disappered from Kazuya’s face as he sat up slowly. “And it’s clear that you got something more than a ‘thing’ going on with him.” Ryo said, sitting up next to Kazuya. “We did have sex last night, because you begged me to make you forget. And because I do think you’re hot as fuck, I went with it. And I’m sorry cause now I feel like I just used you, since you were drunk, and-”
“No!” Kazuya stopped him right there. “Don’t be sorry.” Kauzya smiled at him. “It was one of those friends with benefits things. One time only.” he said, then, letting Ryo continue.
“Yeah,” he agreed. “I saw the way Akanishi looked at us, at you. The way he glared when we danced. The way you paniced and ran after him, the way he looked at you before leaving with Nakai. Plus I got an awesome gay radar.” he laughed at his own joke, and was sure the only one who did. Kazuya was in too big of a shock. And Ryo saw that too. “Anyway, I followed him outside and..”
“Hey, Akanishi!” Ryo saw Jin turning to him, giving him a look from head to toe, and Ryo guessed he didn’t know what to say. “Got a minute?”
“What do you want, Nishikido?”
Ryo stepped closer. “Can I talk to you for a minute.” he said then, giving a quick glance at the girl when he seemed to get Jin’s attention. “In private.” he added, and watched Jin telling Riisa to go to the cab already and he would follow in a minute.
“What?”
Ryo licked his lips, taking a heep breath. “I was thinking about Kazuya, and I thought about asking him out tonight, so-”
“Why?”
After Ji’s rude interruption, Ryo gave him a small smirk, making a proper eyecontact. “Cause I’m falling for him.” he lied and watched every reaction he could get.
“For one, I meant why are you telling me this,” Jin licked his lips. “And two, you aren’t falling for him, you’re falling for his looks, his body, his fame. So you just want the public to think you’re in love.” he said, leaning a bit closer, just close enough to whisper, “But you know what, I won’t let it happen. So leave him alone.” he leaned back to look at Ryo with pure madness glowing in his eyes. “Because if you break his heart, I will break your face.” he pointed Ryo before following Riisa to the cab.
“You love him.” Ryo said and Jin stopped on the tracs. “Like really love him, love him.” he added and saw Jin getting on the cab, not giving him another look.
“Jin said that?” Kazuya looked at Ryo, and couldn’t decide whether to be happy or mad about it. “You think he had sex with her?”
“I don’t know about that but are you going to tell him we had sex?” Ryo asked then, being fine with either way.
“He probably knows.” Kazuya sighed, getting Ryo’s full attention. “He actually gave me permission to have sex with you. I don’t know if he meant it, though.”
“Well let’s think it this way, if he tells you they didn’t have sex, will you believe him?”
“Yes.” Kazuya nodded then, sitting up again. “He has a big mouth, but he doesn’t lie.” he said standing up. “I’m going to go to shower.” he said before walking to his nathroom thinking how happy he was that nothing was awkward between the two of then. If Kazuya could remember last night, he was sure things would be different.
--
The next couple of days were rather awkward for everyone, mostly to Kazuya and Jin. Kazuya didn’t know if Jin had done something with Riisa, but the way he was avoiding Kazuya and his eyecontact, they definitely did something.
When the shooting for the day was over, Kazuya walked to Jin, pulling him to the nearest empty room, which ended up being the room where they kept all the clothes. When Kazuya turned back to Jin to face him, he was a bit surprised of Jin who was actually only inches apart, eyes locked on him. Kazuya still couldn’t figure out what he was thinking, though. He was expressionless. Kazuya gulped, ready to start a conversation, but he didn’t actually know what to say.
“Did you fuck him?” Jin ended up asking, eyes now locked on Kazuya’s. Kazuya quickly broke the eye contact, lowering his eyes on the shoes Jin was wearing. Great boots, yeah. He tried to lift his eyes on Jin’s face but everytime he got to the neck and Jin, he looked away. “You fucked him.”
“Yes, well technically he fucked me, but-”
“It’s okay.” Jin interrupted Kazuya and when Kazuya looked at Jin, he had tears in his eyes. Jin was fighting back tears? Kazuya had never seen him like this. Kazuya wanted to ask what did he mean, but he knew Jin would tell him that he gave Kazuya and Ryo his blessing that night so he has no right to be mad about it, but Kazuya could still see how hurt Jin was. That told him Jin didn’t do anything with Riisa, and he didn’t dare to ask.
“Jin,” Kazuya stepped close enough to place his hand on Jin’s arm. “I’m sorry, it should’t have happened and-”
“I already said it’s okay.”
“Well it shouldn’t be.” Kazuya said then and the way Jin looked at his after saying that broke him in pieces. A tear fell from his eyes, full of fear and pain. Like he was afraid he knew what Kazuya had to say. “This isn’t the way relationships works,” Kazuya lowered his look on the ground again. He had to be strong now. He couldn’t cry, he couldn’t show any weakness. “We can’t fuck some random people after every fight, and-”
“I haven’t fucked anyone.” Jin interrupted for the third time after walking into that room. The guilt built up in Kazuya and he wasn’t sure he was able to deal with it. So it was only him. Jin didn’t fuck Riisa. Kazuya felt Jin’s warm embrace around him. “I just need a couple of days to cool off, it’s okay, we’ll get through this.” he whispered and Kazuya broke. He lifted his face to look at Jin, tears falling down.
“It’s not supposed to be like this. Can’t you see it?” Kazuya had trouble talking. He felt his mouth getting drier and drier by every second, his throat was horse and the tears were wetting his face. “It’s not supposed to be okay for me to have sex with Ryo, it’s..” Kazuya licked his lips, like he was thinking whether he should continue or not. “Maybe it’s better if we stay as friends, Jin.”
“Don’t give up on me, Kazuya. Don’t give up on us. I’m sure-”
“Jin, we tried already!” Kazuya interrupted this time, eyes fixed on Jin’s, and the fear and pain turned into slight shock. “We tried only sex, didn’t work out. We tried dating, we didn’t manage to keep it up for even 24 hours! Maybe we’re just not meant to be, Jin, I-”
“We are! Why can’t you see it?” Kazuya started to believe that this interruption game started to get ridiculous when Jin grabbed his arms to take the control. Neither one couldn’t even let the other finish their sentences. “I-” when Jin hesitated of whatever he was saying, Kazuya wasn’t sure how to feel. Was Jin about to tell him he loved him? Kazuya sighed, deciding to give him a hand.
“And how did you end up with that conclusion?”
“I-” Jin repeated and Kazuya was sure. Jin was trying to tell the three words to him. He just couldn’t. “I care about you.” Jin said, and Kazuya told himself he wasn’t disappointed. When he sighed and looked away, Jin lifted his chin, gently brushing his fingers on Kazuya’s cheek. “You don’t believe me?” Jin let go, and for the first time in a long time, Kazuya was actually a bit scared. Then he remembered the medicine cabinet again. Was Jin on drugs at the moment? “You want reasons?” He seemed like he was fighting tears again, loosing the battle at any moment. “I’ll give you the fucking A to Z then!” Jin said, walking closer just to push Kazuya gently against the wall, and placing a hars kiss on his lips.
When the kiss broke, Kazuya looked at Jin’s eyes, trying to find any sign, any sign that Jin wasn’t fully there. But when he started listing stuff he liked about Kazuya, he couldn’t help but to melt on Jin’s arms. “You're Amazing and Beautiful and Crazy,” when Kazuya’s eyebrow jerked, Jin smiled placing a gentle kiss on his lips. “but in the best ways possible.” he added bringing the smile he truly loved back. “You're completely Dazzling and you're Everything I ever wanted.”
When Jin listed things, Kazuya knew he should give him another chance. “You're Flexible,” he added to the list then, making a blush raise against Kazuya’s cheeks. “And you're Gorgeous and Hot and so fucking Intelligent. You have the Juiciest lips I've ever kissed. You're Kind and Loving and Masculine.” Kazuya couldn’t believe Jin just said that. Not with that tone. He was using the tone that he usually used after having a boner. Sure, Kazuya wasn’t as girly as many of his fans may have believed, but the fact that his masculine side was a turn on for Jin, made him happier than it probably should have. “You have No gag reflex.” he showed a small smirk, and Kazuya did his best not to look away.
“You're Outstanding and Pretty. You're Quirky and Real Sweet.” Jin continued, cheating a little and putting R and S together. “You're so Talented it takes my breath away.” Jin said and Kazuya wasn’t sure if he meant acting or as a singer. “You're Unique and Vivacious and one of the Warmest persons I’ve ever met. You're Xtremely hot, with a capital X,” Jin smirked again, and Kazuya decided not to meantion that Jin already used the word hot. “And Yummy. And, last but not least, you're Ze man of my dreams.” He finished, taking a deep breath. “There, you got your reasons, will you believe me now?”
“It’s not that I don’t believe you..” Kazuya said and from the expression he got from Jin, if situation would be any different, he would be in deep trouble. Jin actually used that once when he really got spanked, it wasn’t as nice as porn made it look like.
“You made me split out all that shit after believing me?”
“I tried to say..” Totally not a lie, it was Jin who just told he could list stuff, push him, kiss him and start listing. Kazuya couldn’t really just scream I fucking believe you in the middle of all that. “Why won’t you say you love me?” he changed the subject, he wanted to know, he had the right to know. “Don’t you love me?” When Jin’s eyes lowered, like he was disappointed of himself, Kazuya made a small smile. It wasn’t that Jin didn’t love him, he just couldn’t say it. The words had probably come out of his mouth only once or twice. To his mother most likely.
“I love you, Jin.” Kazuya said then, without hesistation and the look on Jin’s face brightened right away. When Jin was about to lean closer to seal the deal so to speak, Kazuya leaned back. He had o make this clear. There’s only one more chance left. “But I love myself more. And that’s why I have a condition.”
Jin didn’t say anything but his eyes told he wanted to hear more. He had no clue what could Kazuya possibly want, but what Kazuya wanted, he would get. Jin wanted to make sure of that. He wanted to make Kazuya happy, he wanted to share a life with Kazuya, no one else. And if Kazuya had a condition in order for Jin to get that, he’d do anything.
“I will date you properly and permanently this time, I’m hoping,” Kazuya said with a small chuckle. “if you come out to the world.”
TO BE CONTINUED