Multi-chapter | It's Complicated | chapter 14
IT’S COMPLICATED UPDATE!
Title: It’s Complicated
Author: kyu_x
Beta: lovekame02
Main pairing(s): Akame, Ryopi
Side pairing(s): Ryo/Kame, Pin
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: RyoKame and Pin are going to the same therapist for the same reasons, they’re not happy on their relationship. The therapist gets the idea to get Akame and RyoPi together to notice what they looses if they loose their loved ones. Does this help at all? Or does it only make things more complicated?
CHAPTER 14 - “Alone”
“Kazuya!” Ryo rushed to the hospital room to find Kazuya unconscious, attached to different machines, and a man’s back which Ryo identified as Akanishi Jin right away. “What the fuck happened?!” he rushed to Jin, pulling him from his collar and pushing him against the wall.
“Ryo!” Pi rushed after him to the room, trying to separate them. “Stop, this is not helping!” Jin’s eyes flied on Pi, and Pi looked away, like it was hard to face Jin or something. He looked back at Ryo who had his eyes, pretty damn angry eyes, on Jin.
Jin didn’t feel intimidated by Ryo, but when the grip on his collar loosened, he felt somehow relieved. He watched Pi stepping gently closer, placing his other hand on Jin’s shoulder. “Jin, what happened?” Pi asked then, when Ryo kicked a wall and stood next to Kazuya.
“I-” Jin had a hoarse voice. He clearly had been holding back his feelings and fighting tears. “I don’t know, they don’t’ tell me anything, they- I’m officially nothing to him so-”
“Officially?” Ryo turned around, walking closer to Jin. “You’re officially nothing to him? You’re nothing to him anyhow! Do you see your boyfriend lying in a hospital bed, huh?” Ryo screamed, pointing Pi. “No, No you don’t! You couldn’t take care of him!”
“Ryo.” Pi said then. “Calm the fuck down.”
Ryo looked at Pi. “Easy for you to say.” he said then and left, clearly going to look for the doctor. He needed some answers.
“I’m sorry.” Pi apologised to Jin about Ryo which felt kind of weird cause it’s not his responsibility to do.
“It’s okay. If the situation would be other way around, I’d probably act the same.” Jin said then turning his back to Pi, looking at Kazuya. “He just started coughing blood, and..” Jin’s voice started to shiver. Pi walked to him and hugged him form his back. He didn’t say anything, or expect Jin to say anything, just touching him, letting Jin know he was there, it was enough.
When Ryo got back Pi was gone and Jin was sitting on the sofa across the room leaning on his hand, eyes never leaving from Kazuya. Ryo walked to him, and sat down. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Jin said, knowing what Ryo was feeling.
“You can go now.” Ryo told Jin, and the feeling pumping in Jin was something he couldn’t describe. If Ryo thought he was just gonna jump on his feet and walk out of the door, he was terribly wrong.
“Excuse me?” he had to ask, looking at Ryo, who had his eyes locked on Kazuya.
“It’s better for Kazuya, when he wakes up, that you’re not here to confuse him.” he looked at Jin, in tears, not following Ryo’s logic. “I know you’re in love with him. I’m not stupid.”
“What?” Jin was a bit taken back by Ryo’s talking but he still didn’t get why it would be easier for Kazuya if he wasn’t there.
“You think I’m stupid enough to buy that you don’t have feelings for each other?”
Now Jin got it. Ryo thought it’ll be hard for Kazuya to see Jin and Ryo, knowing he would lose Jin in a matter of days. Except that wouldn’t happen. He knew there was no way he and Pi were returning back together and he knew Pi knew that too. Only there was nothing he could do because Kazuya still loved Ryo, and Jin shouldn’t be there, to confuse him any more than he already had.
Jin stood up, and walked to Kazuya, letting the tears filled his eyes, rolling on his cheek. “I love you,” he whispered, placing a kiss on Kazuya’s forehead, before turning to Ryo and without saying a word, Jin left the room.
--
“How are you holding? Do you need anything?”
Jin shook his head as an answer. “Thanks Pi.” he said, managing to make a small smile-like face. It had been too long since he had seen Kazuya, heard him. He hasn’t heard a word about him since he walked out of that room. He had called Ryo, just to ask how Kazuya was doing but Ryo never answered, called him back or even text how Kazuya was, and it hurt Jin because he didn’t know if it was because he was doing badly, or because he was doing well.
“Um, so I think we need to talk,” Pi said, sitting next to Jin on the couch he used to call their, but now it felt like nothing was really their. It felt like the stuff both of them used to share was now either Jin’s or Pi’s.
Jin knew very well what Pi wanted to talk about. And to be honest it was just a matter of time when either one of them brought it up. Since Pi moved back, they have slept on the same bed, they tried even making out a little, but it didn’t feel right, and when some clothes started to get off, both of them decided not to go any further.
“Yeah.”
“I can move out, and-”
“No,” Jin interrupted. “I’ll move.” Jin said then. He couldn’t bare seeing the mattresses they bought together with Kazuya, he couldn’t bare watching around remembering everything they did with Kazuya under that roof. “I lost my job, so I really can’t afford the rent before I’ll get a new job anyway.”
“You lost your job?”
“Yeah,” Jin said lowering his head. “They found out.” he sighed, raising his head, trying not to remember the actual day. “Don’t ask what happened, please.”
Pi made a small sad smile having an idea what may have happened. The story he had heard of what had happened in the school when Kazuya got into the hospital wasn’t fulfilled with details, but Pi had an imagine of Jin holding Kazuya, and no one could really say it wasn’t clear from that.
“I won’t. You can live here until you figure out what to do, okay?” Pi said then bringing his hand on Jin’s shoulder, and when Jin palmed his hand, squeezing a bit and closing his eyes, Pi’s heart sank. He didn’t like Jin this sad, and he could understand. If it was Ryo who would have been laying on the bed, or Jin for that matter, Pi would be on the same state.
“I said I love him.” Jin let out, not really meaning to, after all he said or thought, but it just came out, and he knew Pi had the right to know about it. He turned to face Pi in order to see any reaction he might have had. “I love him, Pi.”
“I know.” Pi said, thinking maybe he should have some sort of reaction, but he really didn’t. “I know,” he repeated.
“I never cheated on you, you know,” Jin said, after a brief silence. He knew Pi was seriously thinking so, and he didn’t really know why or how, but the truth was he never cheated on him.
“We don’t need to talk about Sato- that.” Pi blurted out before covering his mouth.
Jin’s shock was so clear on his face that Pi felt like he had to back up. “Sato? ~You know about Takeru?” he said and he knew that the way he said it made Pi believe on his thought about Jin cheating even more. “He’s my childhood friend.” Jin made it as clear as he could. “He has problems with his memory, and I’m helping him out every now and then.” he added.
This couldn’t be happening. So if they would have talked about this two months ago, and he would made sure to let these two meet, none of this would have never happened. He would have never met Kazuya. He wouldn’t have had all those memories with him. He wouldn’t have fallen in love with Kazuya. He wouldn’t have these feelings he was having now.
“I can’t believe this.” Jin didn’t know how to feel. He knew he should feel a bit mad, but he couldn’t help but to think that these two months with Kazuya had been one of the best he’s ever had, so maybe he should be thanking Pi instead?
“I’m sorry,” Pi said after awhile and Jin hurried to take his hand.
“No, don’t be.” Jin said. “It’s okay.”
“So, this is it, then?”
Jin didn’t know why, but he was afraid to look into Pi’s eyes, and when he built up the courage to do so, he noticed Pi having the same problem.
“Yeah.”
--
It’s been two weeks that Kazuya was brought to this hospital, and the only moments he was talking were when Ryo brought him something, or asked him something. And that worried the hell out of Ryo. He wanted Kazuya to be okay, even if that meant he had to hunt down the source of this.
The doctors hadn’t been clear with him at all. Even though Ryo was his emergency person, they felt that because they’re gays, they didn’t have the same rights as civilians so just to get to be with Kazuya took a lot of work.
Ryo’s not stupid. He knew Kazuya was missing Jin, it was obvious. And Ryo could get it, he couldn’t stop thinking about Pi, but he was responsible for Kazuya, he had to take care of him. Only he was afraid Kazuya was falling into some sort of depression because Jin hadn’t come around, and it was all Ryo’s fault. It’s all Ryo’s fault.
“Here you go, baby.”
Kazuya let his tired eyes move from the cup of water to the man holding it. Ryo was wearing the same clothes as yesterday, which from Kazuya suspected he had stayed the night. That should make Kazuya feel something, yeah? But no, Kazuya didn’t feel that tingling feeling around his stomach, he didn’t have the urge to grin like a mental patient, he didn’t have the automatic trying to act cute effect on. Because it was Ryo.
“Thank you,” he said then, accepting the cup.
“And how are we doing here?” The doctor walked in, eyes focused on his papers. His eyes flew on Ryo who stood up right away.
“Is there something new?”
The doctor clicked his tongue, giving Ryo a deep sigh. “There were some complications, but he should be able to go home in few days. The good news; He doesn’t need a liver transplant, bad news: he will need one if he keeps up the drinking.”
So it was about the drinking after all. Ryo nodded few times. “Thank you doctor, I’ll make sure that will not happen, thank you.” Ryo locked their eyes and the doctor nodded, before he gave a quick glance at Kazuya and left the two of them alone again.
--
A week after Kazuya got home, Ryo started to get more and more worried. Kazuya didn’t eat unless Ryo basically forced by cramming the food on Kazuya’s mouth. He couldn’t remember the last time Kazuya talked. He hummed sometimes, cried sometimes, but mostly, he just was there, doing nothing, it was like he was feeling nothing. And it hurt Ryo to see Kazuya like that. Even if Ryo didn’t love him, there was a time when he did, and it was Ryo’s fault this was happening to Kazuya. He should’ve taken better care of Kazuya when he could.
Ryo was in the kitchen, thinking what food he should pick up for tomorrow, since he’s a lousy cook and there’s really nothing in the fridge. He picked up Chinese food on their way and practically forced Kazuya to eat, but after half of the dinner, Kazuya went to throw up.
He was pretty much lined between pasta and pizza when his phone rang. He took a proper grab of his phone and when he saw ‘Pi’ in the ID, his heart jumped for a brief second. Building up some courage to answer on it, Ryo took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “Hey.”
“Hi.” Ryo heard form the other line, and the voice he heard was so calm, and gentle, and Ryo felt shiver down his spine even from the most simple ‘hi’. “Uh, how are you?” he asked and Ryo wasn’t sure if he meant how was Ryo doing in general, or how he was doing with Kazuya.
Licking his lips, Ryo’s eyes flew on the bedroom. “Fine, I guess. I brought Kazuya home about a week ago.” he said he shouldn’t have said that, cause the ‘oh’ Pi answered him with was so broken and sad that it made Ryo want to cry.
“We broke up.” Pi said then, not sound so sad at all. “With Jin, I mean.” he continued, and Ryo could hear him sniffing, clearing his throat a bit maybe.
“Pi are you crying?”
“I miss you so much.” Pi admitted, and Ryo knew that. He knew it, because he knew that what the two of them shared was mutual, and if Pi was feeling even close to what Ryo was, he wouldn’t understand it, when Ryo answered with the same words.
“I miss you too, Pi.” Ryo knew he shouldn’t have said that either, because he should be taking care of Kazuya. He knew Kazuya was in love with Jin, and maybe Jin had some feelings for Kazuya too, but it was Ryo’s fault Kazuya was in that shape, and it was Ryo’s responsibility to take care of it.
“I think I fell pretty hard for you, Ryo.” Ryo gulped, closing his eyes. His breath got way to harsh as he was telling himself not to cry. “Can- can we meet?” the voice flew on his ear softly, and Ryo bit his lip trying not to do something he’ll regret later on.
“Yeah. I just have to do few things first, okay?” Ryo said then. “Meet me at the combini in one hour, yeah?”
“Okay.” the voice was silent, but strong. And Ryo could imagine himself wiping away those beautiful tears on Pi’s cheek. “Bye bye.”
“Bye.” Ryo said before putting his phone back on the table. His eye flew on the bedroom again, before he grabbed his phone again and walked to the guest room to talk.
Few minutes later, Ryo came back, walking towards thee bedroom. “Hey Kazuya,” Ryo leaned on the door. “Do you mind if-” he stated and saw Kazuya sleeping. He tiptoed closer to make sure because it was the first time he saw Kazuya sleeping after they got back from the hospital. The doctor gave him sleeping pills, but Kazuya hadn’t gotten up to get them. For him, it’s like nothing mattered anymore.
For Ryo’s unfortunate, Kazuya wasn’t sleeping. He was laying on his stomach, eyes open, dazing nowhere. It’s like he was living inside his mind. “Couldn’t sleep?” Ryo tried, but got no answer. Ryo took a deep long breath, walking to Kazuya’s bag. “I’m going to be away for couple of hours, okay?” he said going through Kazuya’s bag. Lifting a small pack of pills, Ryo told himself it was okay for Kazuya to take few. He hasn’t slept well for weeks now. “So I’ll put these here, and I’ll go get you some water, so try to sleep, okay?”
Kazuya’s eyes moved on Ryo, but other than that, there was no reaction and Ryo told himself it was okay. Everything was going to be okay. After bringing the water, Ryo leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on Kazuya’s sweaty forehead. He had fever, and Ryo had to remind himself again, everything was going to be just fine. He had a plan.
“I’ll be back in few hours.”
When Kazuya heard the door getting closed, his eye moved on the pack of pills. He forced himself to sit, sniffing. Opening his mouth, Kazuya felt like something inside him was tearing apart. His mouth was dry, and his whole face was swollen. He opened the pack and drops one pill on his hand. The thing was he didn’t want to take just one. He wanted to just go to sleep and forget everything. Ryo was with him because he felt responsible of Kazuya. Jin was nowhere close and he didn’t care enough to visit Kazuya even once.
Kazuya knew the whole thing with the therapist was over, sure. But he really thought he meant something to Jin. Yet, he didn’t visit even once.
With that in mind, Kazuya let the pills drop on his bed, one by one, making them in the shape of heart before grabbing them all in his fist, and letting them dance around his mouth, and with the help of the water Ryo brought him, he swallowed them all down. Like a good boy.
TO BE CONTINUED