Title: Cruelty
Pairing: Kyusung
Rating: PG ( Just a kiss or two, but really nothing much)
Summary: Before Kyuhyun joined Super junior he heard a lot about Yesung and was eager to meet him………..But that changed after he met him!
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On TV, Kim Yesung always came across as sweet and kindhearted, Sure, he could be crazy sometimes, but compared to the eleven other guys who made up the same group he was a part of, he was introverted and quiet, and only ever seemed to really talk when encouraged by one of them. But he seemed happy, made up all of sweet smiles and shy laughter. The casual observer might have wondered if he was acting, sometimes, but between song contests and mock MV makings, the other Chin Chin guys said that Yesung was, quite simply, always happy. He had been, they said, the encouraging one, willing everyone always to try even if they felt the odds were completely stacked against them, even if they honestly had no belief in themselves to do anything other than lose out. But most of all, he was nice to everyone he met, even if he had every reason in the world to hate them.
That was what they told him. So when Cho Kyuhyun suddenly found himself the newest member of boy band sensation Super Junior and sharing a room with the older boy, he was more than just a little surprised to find a personality quite different to the one those accounts and observations had led him to expect.
In fact, the first thing Yesung did once they were alone together was make a line down the middle of their bedroom, glaring at Kyuhyun from what was now his side and saying coldly, “If you move even an inch over that line, I’ll kill you.”
His voice was firm, and like ice, so Kyuhyun didn’t even bother trying to argue with him. But he couldn’t help but notice that his ‘half’ of the room was significantly smaller than Yesung's ‘half’.
Something like a week later, Leeteuk noticed the mess that Yesung had made of their room and ordered it cleaned up not to be so immature and petty, whatever his reasons might have been. But even with what the leader said, Kyuhyun knew from that cold gaze Yesung gave him that their rules still stood; the line, although invisible, was still definitely there. And so he stayed obediently in his smaller half of the room, never daring to cross over to Yesung's side. And with time, he even stopped trying to talk to the older boy at night.
He never got an answer, anyway.
In fact, since those icy words spoken on that very first day, Yesung had never once addressed him in private again. In front of the cameras, they acted like friends (“Kyuhyun-ah, I love you!” Yesung had shouted triumphantly to a camera during the filming once), and in front of the others, they were more like acquaintances, friends without all that touchy-feely stuff most of them seemed to go for. But behind closed doors, when the others were gone and they were alone, they were enemies.
Kyuhyun didn’t want to be Yesung enemy. But the older boy wouldn’t let him close enough to be anything but.
He might’ve handled it better if he hadn’t been the only one, if it was just that everything he’d ever heard about Yesung had been painfully, obviously wrong and that he was cold and nasty all the time, to all the members. But to everyone else, Yesung was strawberries and cream, the same sweet, kindhearted guy he’d heard so much about before, full of smiles and kind words and soft, amused little giggles and If anyone ever forgot a chore, Yesung got stuck in and did it for them without a word so that they wouldn’t get in trouble later on. And before he went to bed every night, he went around the dorm and gave everyone little kisses, telling them to sleep well, because they really deserved it today, just like always.
Kyuhyun never received any of those little kisses, and he was the only one who really ever managed to get into trouble if a chore slipped his mind.
It was something he’d gotten pretty good at when it came to Yesung, pushing things aside as if they didn’t matter, when they really did, deep down. He wanted at least to be friends with the other boy; he hated the way Yesung treated him when he showed nothing but sweetness and courtesy to the other members. It hurt, but… he’d learned to pretend it didn’t. What was the point, anyway, in worrying over something he knew he couldn’t change?
And besides, when he didn’t react, at least there was no smirk of bitter satisfaction written over Yesung's face.
As the months passed, it started working for him in other ways too; eventually, his lack of reaction brought about the end of Yesung's cruel, childish games. The other boy still wouldn’t talk to him when they were on their own, but he wasn’t horrible and mean anymore, and in its own way it made things easier to handle. Sometimes, anyway. And that was the best part.
The worst part was that, somewhere along the line, Kyuhyun had managed to fall completely in love with Yesung.
It didn’t make any sense, not to him, not to anyone he dared tell, If he were Sungmin, or Ryeowook, he’d understand it. After all, Yesung was even sweeter to the two of them than he was to most people, or, as Kyuhyun had bitterly put it more than once, everyone-who-wasn’t-Kyuhyun. But Yesung hated him. On good days, Yesung treated him like a toy he’d been given that he never wanted in the first place. On bad days, he treated him like a piece of dog shit he’d trodden on and then had had to scrub off his boot after tracking it over the pristine living room carpet. There was no good reason for Kyuhyun to have fallen for him. Hell, there wasn’t even a bad reason. There was just… no reason at all. He would have stopped it, if he knew how.
But he didn’t know how, and despite all the reasons he knew he shouldn’t feel the way he did, he loved him anyway, so much that it hurt, and he lost sleep on some nights, lying awake and staring into the darkness, listening to the soft, even sound of Yesung's breathing, wondering what it would feel like to have the other boy smile at him for once, rather than everyone else.
Most nights, it was just that he had trouble getting to sleep, or that he woke up early in the morning and couldn’t get back to sleep. That was bad enough. But sometimes, he woke during the night, forced to lie there in a restless silence as he stared through the darkness at Yesung's sleeping figure, fighting back the tears that welled in his eyes. It wasn’t fair. It drove him insane. He hated it, but he just couldn’t make it stop.
It was on one of those nights, though, that the nightmares started, although perhaps they’d been there all along and he’d managed to sleep through them, oblivious. He’d never know. But on that night, when he woke, it was to the sound of rustling sheets and soft, frightened sobs, and before long Kyuhyun was left sitting up in his bed, watching silently as Yesung tossed and turned in the darkness, shaky sounds falling from his lips as he struggled with his nightmares.
He wasn’t sure how long he sat there for, just watching, unsure of what he was meant to do. Maybe it was five minutes, maybe it was five hours. It felt, somehow, like a mere second and an eternity all at once. But as the seconds - minutes? - passed, and the nightmare didn’t fade, he swallowed fear and obedience in the name of love and comfort, and clambered out of his bed, crossing the room to where Yesung fought his dreams. For a moment, he hovered anxiously next to the older boy’s bed, but then slid under the sheets, carefully pulling his sobbing hyung into his arms, stroking his hair and whispering words of comfort. At first, Yesung struggled against him, even in his sleep, but as more moments passed them by, he gradually relaxed, the nightmares chased away. And then, he was smiling, curled into Kyuhyun’s chest, and the younger boy felt his heart lurch.
He was beautiful.
Of course, once he dared to let that thought surface, it stuck like an obsession, refusing to let him think about anything else at all as he sat there, staring helplessly down at that sleeping, sweetly smiling face. So, so beautiful. Like a drug. All he wanted to do was…..
Before he could stop himself, he was leaning down, pressing his mouth ever so softly against Yesung's, a soft shiver running through him when the older boy sighed - in response? or just a normal part of sleep? - against his lips. He kissed softly, barely moving, terrified of waking him, being caught like this, but as it was, once he’d started, he couldn’t pull away, he just couldn’t. He was an addict. He was well and truly drowning, and he wasn’t sure he actually wanted to be saved, just yet.
Oh God, he was fucked, he was so, so fucked.
He’d barely thought that when he was suddenly belted, a hit sharp and hard enough to send him sprawling off the bed and to the floor before he even realized what was going on. And when he stopped seeing stars, and instead saw Yesung glowering down at him from the bed, suddenly very much awake, only then did he actually get it, and a horrid feeling of dread settled in his stomach, hands coming up in front of his chest as he stuttered out a few words, trying to explain…
But Yesung wouldn’t hear it (and really, Kyuhyun couldn’t blame him). He didn’t care why, or how, or what for. As the younger boy slunk back to his bed, red-faced, pulling the covers up to the tips of his hair and trying to forget, pretend it had never happened, Yesung hissed obscenities at him, called him names he probably deserved, told him he was a filthy, disgusting pervert and deserved to be kicked out of Super Junior.
“Don’t you ever, ever touch me again,” he snarled eventually, throwing something over to Kyuhyun’s bed in order to get his attention. “Or I’ll tell Jungsu-hyung and he’ll have you out of here and up for abuse before you can even say ‘lawyer’.”
“Yes, hyung,” Kyuhyun said meekly from where he was buried under sheets and blankets. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t call me that,” Yesung snapped instantly, ignoring the apology. “I’m not your stupid hyung. Aish. Just… go to sleep already. And don’t ever come over to my side of the room again.”
Lying in bed, Kyuhyun promised himself that that was the monumentally dumbest thing he’d ever done and that, as such, there would never be any repeats. Never. Ever.
Of course, some things were easier said than done, and when he woke the next night to the same tormented sounds, the same horrible situation, Kyuhyun realized bleakly that this was one of those things. And rather than take his own advice, rather than keep the promise he’d made to himself, he crossed the room on that second night and held Yesung gently, and then kissed him until he woke up and hit him, cussed him out and called him the same names he’d called him the night before.
The next morning, he was expecting to be yelled at and made to pack his bags and get out, but… it never happened. And he realized then that Yesung hadn’t said a word to their leader, not a single word.
And so it went on like that, night after night. For some reason, Yesung never carried out his threats, and for Kyuhyun, those silent minutes of peace each night made the hard days worth it, worth dealing with Yesung's cold treatment for the few moments he could see him smiling in his sleep, the few moments he could feel the warmth of those soft lips against his own.
But even with all the nice things that just happened to come with it, as the nights flew past and Yesung's nightmares only got worse and worse, he couldn’t help but worry for the older boy. With each night that passed, his dreams seemed to become more and more vivid; he fought harder and harder with his covers in his sleep and took longer and longer to escape, even with Kyuhyun holding him and gently stroking his hair. It scared him, and he wanted to help somehow, but whenever he tried to bring it up with the older boy, Yesung shut him down before he’d spoken more than a few words. Maybe - just maybe - he should have gone to Jungsu or one of the other hyungs but… he didn’t want to risk the older boy’s wrath. At the very least, he didn’t want to suffer more than he was already suffering. And so, night after night, he laid awake and held Yesung, desperately praying that those horrible dreams would stop soon.
Months later, they were moved into a new dorm, and Kyuhyun found himself in a room with Sungmin, and actually allowed to traverse more of the room than ‘half’. And, he thought, maybe he’d be able to sleep, without Yesung lying there distracting him.
He was kidding himself.
If anything, it was worse without Yesung there. Kyuhyun lay there, staring into the darkness in something that was almost a panic, head full of worried thoughts - was Yesung sleeping okay? was he having nightmares again? would he be okay without Kyuhyun there to look after him? - and in the end it got so bad that he gave up on sleeping altogether, sliding quietly out of bed and tiptoeing into the kitchen to make a coffee before retreating to the living room to watch TV.
Half-sitting, half-lying on the couch, hugging himself with wide-open eyes, and bathed in the harsh, flickering light of the TV, was Yesung. And Kyuhyun’s breath caught in his throat and for a moment he thought about turning and leaving and drinking his coffee somewhere else, but in the end he really couldn’t make himself do that, and he crossed the room, sitting next to the other boy on the couch. He was surprised when Yesung didn’t flinch or yell at him to get off or even go so far as to move away himself. He was even more surprised when the older boy straightened a little and looked him right in the eye, asking in a soft voice, “Are you okay?”
So surprised that for a moment, he faltered, not knowing how to respond. “Y-yeah,” he stumbled eventually. “I just… I couldn’t sleep.”
Yesung nodded. “Me neither,” he murmured.
And that was it. Conversation over. They sat in silence again, Yesung watching the TV and Kyuhyun pretending to, nursing his untouched coffee in his lap, before he turned to the older boy and blurted, “Do you want a drink? I can fix you a hot cocoa or something…”
Yesung's smile was tired, strained. “A coffee would be really nice,” he admitted, and Kyuhyun nodded, wordlessly handing the other his own before trotting back to the kitchen to make himself a new one. “Thank you,” Yesung said quietly when he came back, and then they sat there, silent again, eyes on the TV, brains elsewhere, warming their hands and their mouths and their stomachs with the coffee that Kyuhyun had made for them.
And it stayed silent between them - at least until Kyuhyun stood back up and said he was going back to bed, barely taking a step away from the couch before Yesung's hand caught his arm and the older boy said in a desperate, pleading voice, “Why are you so nice to me, Kyuhyun?”
His stomach lurched, and he turned to face the older boy, looking down at where he was sitting on the couch, so small and fragile in the darkness. “Because I’m in love with you,” he said quietly, honestly, feeling small and fragile himself. “And I want to take care of you.”
Yesung's eyes widened. “But… I’ve been so horrible to you,” he replied, his voice breaking and fading to little more than a whisper. “I haven’t been nice at all…”
“I know,” Kyuhyun replied, and he sat down again, reaching to cup Yesung's face in his hands. And for once, the older boy didn’t push him away, merely sat there with tears in his eyes, threatening to fall down his cheeks. “But I can’t help it. I love you anyway.”
The older boy started crying then, tears spilling against Kyuhyun’s fingertips until he pulled his hands back and used them to hold Yesung against him, tears wetting instead the loose tank top he usually wore to bed. And he just sat there, running his fingers through Yesung's hair, whispering sweet, soft words of comfort until he felt the older boy’s body relax against his own. When he pulled back, Yesung's eyes were closed and his breathing even, and when he kissed him ever so softly, he didn’t stir.
Holding Yesung against him like that, lying back against the couch and waiting for morning to come, Kyuhyun wasn’t really awake much longer, either.
“I felt really threatened,” Yesung explained in a soft voice the next morning, still curled up in Kyuhyun’s arms on the couch while the other members pottered around the dorm getting breakfast and chattering, paying an inordinate amount of attention to the two of them (of course all the while pretending they weren’t). “You came from the same background as me, and you’re more attractive and a ………….better singer…” he added sulkily, as losing his title as main vocalist had been his biggest issue the entire time. “I didn’t want to like you at all. I wanted to hate you. It was… it was really hard but I thought if I could hate you and hate you a lot, maybe you’d give up and go away and I’d be safe.”
“I was never here to kick you out,” Kyuhyun interrupted in a gentle voice, smiling sadly, fingers running softly through Yesung's hair. “I didn’t want that.”
“I know,” the older boy replied. “Of course I know. I even knew that then, I just… I didn’t want to. I wanted you to be the bad guy, I guess. I needed someone to hate…” Swallowing hard, closing his eyes, he continued, “But no matter how hard I tried to hate you, you were so nice to me, and that just made it harder to hate you. And then… that night, when you woke me up from that nightmare, and then the night after… I… I know I yelled at you, Kyuhyunnie but… you’ll hate me when I say this,” he whispered suddenly, looking lost.
“I won’t,” Kyuhyun promised. “Just tell me.”
Yesung hesitated, and hesitated again, and in the end it took him several minutes to actually own up to what he’d been trying to say: “It was all made up. The… the first week was real but after that I pretended.”
Rather than angry, Kyuhyun was just confused. “…What?” he asked, shocked. “Why?”
“I wanted you to keep holding me,” he confessed. “I wanted you to keep kissing me each night. But I was too scared to tell you, and… and I was too used to pretending I hated you to stop, and because I was scared it just made it easier to pretend and it just kept getting worse and worse… I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I’ve been so awful to you…”
Kyuhyun just smiled gently, and shook his head, then gently he leaned forward and took Yesung's mouth softly with his own, kissing him tenderly and somewhat nervously, waiting at first for the other boy to smack him away. But then Yesung's hands came up to Kyuhyun’s shoulders and his mouth was tentatively moving against the younger boy’s own and for a moment Kyuhyun was almost too shocked to continue, but he came to his senses and simply responded by kissing him harder, trembling a little as he did.
“Fucking hell,” someone said suddenly, and they broke apart, panting a little, staring guiltily at each other before looking up at Heechul, who was standing there with arms folded and an amused smirk on his face, surrounded of course by eleven other young men who all wore the same expression. His grin widening, he said, “Would you guys mind keeping this out of the public arena? I mean, we all have bedrooms, y’know.”
Yesung flushed darkly, nodding a quick “yes, hyung, sorry, hyung” in Heechul's direction. But Kyuhyun just laughed, and stood from the couch, pulling Yesung to his feet and glaring at the crowd until it dissipated, whispering to the older boy once it had, “Only if you want to.”
Yesung smiled, and nodded.
THE END…….
A/N: Honestly saying the plot is not mine, It's from a fic I read two years a go but forgot where, I only changed the characters and a little in the story to fit the characters, I loved it so much so I wanted to share it ^ ^
Original Version Here (
http://inkdrops.inkified.com/super-junior/cruel )