Submission and Addiction [Part 19]
Light was beginning to trickle in through the darkness. Everything that had been black for so long was slowly and gradually beginning to brighten. First, the bright pigments began to soak through the dark cover of eyelids, pushing and prodding until he had no choice but to crack his eyes open.
At first, all Adam could see was bright, clear light. Then, slowly his vision began to focus. His vision hadn’t been this clear in days, and he laid there in a daze as the ceiling slowly slid into focus. He swallowed experimentally, and was shocked to feel the swelling and blockage gone. He wiggled his fingers, and then lifted his right arm with some effort. He held up his hand above his face, fingers spread. The red splotches were receding. Now, they were faint and barely visible. They didn’t hurt anymore. He couldn’t believe what had happened - there was no pain in his throat, no bloody, violent cough trying to fight its way out. His body felt calm and peaceful.
There was the pull of exhaustion, coaxing him to close his eyes and rest, now that he could sleep peacefully. But he couldn’t quite yet. How had this happened? How had the pain all gone away?
Adam opened his eyes again and tensed his muscles so he could sit up. His limbs still felt a little stiff, but the pain remained at bay. His vision swam for a moment, but just a few seconds of rubbing brought it back, as clear as ever. The form of something next to him caught his attention.
At first, it was just a set of limbs, a tangle of robes, a limp body. Then Adam’s eyes traveled up to the person’s face, and all of the pain that had appeared to be gone suddenly seemed to flare right in his heart.
Adam gasped and struggled to sit up all the way and move across the bed. He reached out for Kris’ unconscious body, hands trembling. The second his hands touched Kris’ robes was the second he saw all the blood. He choked on his breath. There was so much.
“K-Kris…” Adam’s hands gingerly inspected Kris’ bloodied robes, searching for the source of the blood. Adam untied the robes in the front, and pushed them back off Kris’ shoulders. When he saw the bloody, gory mess that was Kris’ right shoulder, the world seemed to shrink in on Adam, trapping and choking him.
Adam scrambled to untie his own robes. He slid his arm out of one of the sleeves, and then gripped the empty sleeve at the shoulder. He held onto the material of the sleeve and pulled until the seams at the shoulder loosened and pulled apart. He took the ripped-off sleeve and quickly folded it across his lap to use to wrap Kris’ wound. As his fingers hastened to fix the makeshift bandage, his panicked eyes kept flicking over Kris’ unmoving body. His eyes raced to follow the curve of Kris’ arm jutting out from his body, and then Adam’s hands paused for a moment.
In his fingers, Kris was still gripping a small, empty glass vial. Adam just stared at the small object for a couple seconds before everything clicked in his mind.
That was the reason Kris was here in the room with him. Kris had come in to bring the tonic that would save Adam. The conversation with the doctor when he’d told Kris about the San Qi tonic was the last thing Adam could remember before the days of darkness and bleary unconsciousness.
Then, Adam heard a thump and a shout from outside the door of the Pharaoh’s chambers. There was more yelling, and it sounded like battle cries. Adam still wasn’t sure how Kris had gotten so injured, but the chaotic sounds from outside must have contributed. Kris would have had to come through whatever was happening outside the door in order to get inside to bring Adam the tonic. Kris must have traveled and searched for the tonic, and then returned and done whatever necessary to get it to Adam. And the fact that the vial in Kris’ hand was empty must mean Kris had succeeded in giving it to Adam before he’d passed out from blood loss.
That was how Adam felt so much better. Kris had saved him. Kris had almost sacrificed everything for him.
Adam bit the inside of his bottom lip hard, tasting the tang of blood. He had to get the wrap around Kris’ wound before he lost himself to his emotions. Adam twisted up the fabric of his sleeve and then pulled it taut. Before he wrapped it around Kris’ shoulder, he noticed a small washbasin and a cloth set out beside the bed. Adam reached out to pick up the cloth, and dipped it into the water. He steeled himself to all the blood, biting his lip before he leaned over Kris to gently dab the cloth over his wound. He carefully cleared away any dried blood and dirt. Then he set the cloth aside and slid the separated sleeve from his robe beneath Kris’ shoulder and carefully pulled up both ends to cover the bloody gash. He looped it around Kris’ shoulder a second time before tying it loosely. He spread the fabric a little, making sure it covered the whole width of the gash.
Adam looked at his hands, and swallowed unpleasant sickness when he saw Kris’ blood covering his hands. He wasn’t naturally prone to sickness at the sight of blood, but Kris’ blood was another story. He dipped his hands into the washbasin to clean off the blood.
Adam sat back on the bed and crossed his legs before reaching out for Kris again. He carefully lifted Kris’ head and moved it into his lap, biting his lip again as he combed his fingers softly through the other boy’s hair. He still hadn’t stirred once, and Adam had never hated silence more.
The silence was broken by another yell from the other side of the door. Adam jumped slightly and put his arms more tightly around Kris as if to protect him. Adam looked back down to Kris worriedly. Blood was already beginning to seep into the fabric of Adam’s sleeve - darkening the black fabric. Looking at Kris’ ruined robes, the alarming amount of blood he’d lost was clear.
Under his robes, Kris was wearing the thin white tunic Adam had bought for him at the markets so long ago. Before Adam had wrapped the wound, blood had already stained the white silk. Adam lightly touched the shirt with his fingertips, remembering that first trip to the markets with Kris.
Kris had been so stunned when Adam had bought him new clothes like it was nothing. Back then, Kris had been so timid and shy about everything. Adam thought back to the many moons he’d spent with Kris since then. As they had come to know each other better and fallen more and more in love, Kris had lost his inhibitions little by little. Adam may have provided for Kris in the beginning when they first met, but since then, Kris had given him so much more. Kris had saved him - not only in the literal meaning. Kris had appreciated him, cherished him, … made him feel for the first time like he was worth more than just a pleasure toy. And Adam had been dangerously close to losing himself in his loneliness and misery before Kris had come along. No one had ever made Adam feel like Kris did, no one made him feel that good, that loved. Adam had spent many days in the palace with the company of the Pharaoh’s talented, capable body, but Adam’s temporary pleasure had never turned to more. Kris made all of him feel loved - past his face and his skin, every part of him; more than Adam had ever imagined anyone could make him feel.
Adam kept his arms around Kris in his lap, occasionally stroking a hand through his hair. Adam couldn’t calm down, couldn’t focus on anything other than the wetness in the cloth wrapped around Kris’ shoulder, and his blood-red, ruined robes. It didn’t seem like Kris’ wound would stop bleeding any time soon and it was terrifying Adam. He had no idea what to do. What else could he do, besides wrap the wound? Perhaps stitch it, but even if he had the supplies, he would be too frightened of aggravating the wound worse. He should get Kris aid from someone who knew how to help him. But the sounds of the battle outside the doors went on. Adam knew that the Pharaoh had had to leave. He had knelt at Adam’s bedside before he’d left, and told Adam he was leaving him with food and other supplies before he departed. But none of that was what Adam needed. He needed a doctor for Kris.
With the Pharaoh gone, the palace wasn’t a safe place for Adam. He had too many enemies within the walls. He assumed the conflict going on beyond the doors was those enemies - Lady Merrick, perhaps Lord Dallon - trying to reach him and take the kind of revenge they weren’t at leisure to with the Pharaoh there protecting Adam.
But Adam needed to get Kris help. That was more important than keeping himself hidden. Whoever was out there was noisily fighting hard to reach him, and he figured they’d be willing to summon care for Kris in exchange for Adam handing himself over.
Adam looked down to Kris again, studied his blank, beautiful face. Adam bit his bottom lip again, worrying teeth marks into the flesh there that were quickly becoming worn-in. Kris’ face was blank, expressionless. Adam had to clutch him close, feel the pulsing beat of his heart and the body heat radiating from him to be reassured Kris was still breathing.
“There’s no way in hell I can sit here and do nothing, Kris,” he murmured, voice strained and pained. “I’m….watching you bleed to death, and this happened because of me.” Now, tears were steadily leaking into his eyes. “You’re so badly hurt. You must be in so much pain. ….. You are the single most…loving, kind, beautiful person I’ve ever known, and this world could lose you. Lose the light, all the good things you bring to it,…over me. I’m not worth this. Not nearly worth losing you…”
By now, Adam was trembling. He had to close his eyes to keep the tears from leaking out. Then something soft and gentle touched his cheek. Startled, Adam opened his eyes again.
Kris’ eyes were just barely open - only just enough for Adam to be able to see their heavenly color. It was Kris’ hand touching his cheek. Adam’s heart leaped.
“But you are,” Kris whispered, voice weak and raspy. “Don’t you understand that I’ve been trying so long to get you to see that?”
“K-Kris,” Adam choked, his tears falling on their own volition. His arms tightened around Kris, keeping him as close against his chest as he could.
“Adam,..listen to me.” Kris breathed, his gaze locked seriously with Adam’s eyes. “I know what you’re probably thinking right now. You’re thinking of doing anything you can to get me medical help. Even turning yourself over.”
Adam looked shocked. Kris knew him too well.
“Listen to me. You can’t,” Kris breathed urgently, his fingers knotting in the material of Adam’s robes. “They want to kill you, Merrick and Dallon, that’s what they’re trying to do. The Pharaoh left his guards orders to protect you, and they’re the only thing stopping those monsters from getting their way. I got in here to save your life, and you can’t just go throwing your life away now.”
“But Kris,…you could be dying…”
“I’m not,” Kris said softly, but with a little smile. “I would feel it if I was dying. Trust me, I’m not.” Kris let go of where he’d been clutching Adam’s robes, and moved one hand up to touch Adam’s cheek again. “Adam,…if you love me, make what I did for you worth it. It was worth it to me. Anything to keep you here with me is worth it to me. Please, just keep yourself safe from them.”
“You know I love you,” Adam murmured, trying his best to blink his tears away. Kris was telling him something very difficult to hear, but he didn’t feel the kind of crushing heartache or difficulty he was afraid he would as he heard what Kris was saying. Because deep down, he knew Kris was right. Adam loved Kris with everything in him, and trading his life away would undo this grand, amazing thing Kris had done for him, and Adam wouldn’t disrespect him like that, especially not when Kris was there in his arms, clinging to his robes and begging Adam to do as he was asking him.
“Fine,” Adam breathed, “I understand, Kris. And I’ll do it, for you. But still, I can’t just sit here watching. I wrapped your wound but there has to be something else I can do. What do you need?”
“I’m…more weak from hunger than anything else,” Kris said softly. “I was so focused on getting that tonic, I’ve hardly eaten anything since that conversation with the doctor…”
Adam nodded immediately, and carefully laid Kris back down on the bed. Being careful he didn’t move too fast and make himself weak, Adam slowly got up from the bed and went over to the crates the Pharaoh had had servants bring in and place beside the bed before his departure. Adam peered inside, and found one filled with nothing but food, and almost any kind of food Adam could think of. For now, Adam just lifted out a few loaves of bread. He went back to the bed, and kneeled down beside Kris again.
“Kris?” Adam asked loudly, when he saw Kris’ eyes were closed.
Kris’ eyes cracked open again, “Y-yes,…yes, I’m fine.” Adam gently lifted Kris’ head into his lap again. Adam ripped off a bite-sized piece of the bread and fed it to Kris. After a few more bites in the same fashion, Adam tore off a larger piece, and gave it to Kris to eat himself once Kris seemed to have the strength to hold it.
“You eat the rest,” Kris told him softly around a bite of bread. “You can’t have eaten much either.”
It wasn’t until Adam was studying the bread in his hand that he realized how hungry he suddenly was. After he’d woken up and seen Kris lying unconscious beside him, Kris had consumed Adam’s thoughts. Adam bit into the bread hungrily.
They ate in silence for a few minutes. Kris ate the whole piece of bread Adam had given him. Adam was just finishing his own piece when Kris suddenly gave a horrified gasp.
Adam swallowed quickly, then exclaimed, “What?! What is it? What’s wrong?”
Kris was looking down at himself, and reached up to the white tunic he was wearing. “Oh no, it’s stained and ruined! No,…this is one of the tunics you bought for me…”
Adam let out a huge sigh of relief, and then a little laugh. “Gods, Kris, you frightened me. And don’t worry yourself about that. When we get out of this damned palace, I promise I’ll buy you all the tunics you want to replace this one.”
Kris’ immediate reaction was a smile for Adam. But after a few seconds, Kris’ smile began to shrink. “Do you think,…..are we going to get out of here?”
Adam frowned, but his voice stayed strong. “Yes. No matter what, both of us will. That can’t go on forever,” he waved his hand in the direction of the door, their barricade against the battle taking place outside. “And you’re going to walk out of here, healthy and strong.” Adam smiled as much as he could to back up his words, and he stroked Kris’ cheek reassuringly. Kris did his best to smile back.
“If only the Pharaoh hadn’t left,” Kris said softly, his eyes falling from Adam’s. “None of that would be happening outside if he was here to keep order. You know,…he helped me a lot with searching for the tonic for you. He didn’t go with me, but he gave me a fast horse, sent two of his guards to accompany me, and he gave me a whole bag of gold to buy the tonic with.” Maybe, Kris just couldn’t help but fishing a little for Adam to talk about what had transpired between himself and the Pharaoh. Kris knew it probably wasn’t the time, but it worried him incessantly all the same.
“He’s a good man,” Adam said, not picking up the vulnerable edge to Kris’ statement. “The only one of the sort in this sordid palace. He looked out for me, stayed his sister’s hand whenever she got too abusive towards me. He was really going to give it his all to help me escape. But of course, that was all after I started frequenting his bed,” Adam said nonchalantly.
“So then,…you were really sharing his bed? You said something about it in your letter to Michael and me, about how you got him to help you, but…that was a regular thing? With the Pharaoh?”
Adam nodded. He wasn’t looking at Kris, he was blankly watching the wall instead. “He was the only good thing in the palace. He cared for me. It’s why he’s got guards out there protecting me. He was always kind when we were together, always gentle. I think he may even imagine he loves me, though I’m not sure I believe it.”
“But do you,…” Kris began to ask softly, framing the question painfully in his mind before he could bring himself to vocalize it, “..d-do you….love him too…?”
Adam’s eyes widened and instantly snapped away from the wall and back to Kris. His eyes softened when he saw the traces of pain and worry on Kris’ face, and he put his arms around Kris again in his lap.
“Oh, oh Kris,…I understand now. I can see how it looked that way. But no, never, Kris. He was never anything more than a good customer to me. Yes, he’s given me a lot, but after you, Kris…, I could never love anyone else.” Adam tenderly stroked Kris’ cheek, and then gave him the hint of a smile. “Even if they are the Pharaoh. They would still never come close to comparing to you.”
Kris smiled, weak but relieved. He reached up for Adam’s hand against his cheek, and held onto it with both of his own. Adam felt the way Kris gripped his hand, and could sense how much this worry had plagued Kris.
“I promise you, Kris,” Adam spoke softly, yet with the power of truth strong behind his words, “Everything I did with him, it was all only for you. So I could get back to you. So he would help me escape and return to you. It was low of me to use him like that, but at that point, I would have done anything to be with you again……I missed you so much, while I was trapped here,” Adam’s voice fell low and urgent.
Kris started struggling in Adam’s lap, searching for the strength to sit up. Adam helped him, and then Kris was throwing his arms around Adam and kissing him.
Both of them were a bit caught off guard, because up until this point, they had just been happy to be in each other’s presence again, to see each other alive and well with their own eyes. But Adam’s words had acted as some kind of switch, as a catalyst to the flooding of old, overwhelming feelings from when they’d been separated. For Adam, of the hours, days, weeks spent in the palace, pining for Kris, missing him like he was the very air Adam needed to survive. For Kris, the relief of Adam being alive and awake and healthy right before his eyes, knowing he was alright, and lurking deeper than that, it was a deep, passionate longing and need for Adam that had been budding inside him, even since before Adam had been taken from him and dragged to the palace.
Kris clutched Adam’s robe at the shoulders, and Adam gathered Kris close in his arms - just for this moment, the torturous worries about Kris’ wound relieved. They had never had a kiss like this, and it made both of them light-headed and dizzy. In this simple, all-powerful moment of need and love, both of them were able to momentarily forget the mess of worries and fear and danger their lives had been and still were. They were dipping into a new world of shared passion they had not yet stepped foot in, as they tasted for the first time the kind of hungry, intense kiss they hadn’t yet shared.
They separated a few long, long seconds later. Kris was grinning as he pulled away. He’d thought about that kind of kiss a little bit back when they’d been exploring their first soft, short, tentative kisses together. Kris had been waiting for a kiss like that. Adam was just breathing hard, trying to catch up again to his racing brain. It felt so good to just lose himself in Kris for a few moments, he didn’t think about it or the consequences. He tugged Kris in close against him, wrapping him up tightly in his arms.
“I love you,” Adam breathed easily, happily against Kris’ ear.
Kris didn’t doubt it, and his mind had already gone about dumping out all his fears about Adam falling for someone else. “I love you too,” Kris murmured happily. “So, so much.”
Adam’s hand shifted upwards, to grip Kris more tightly around the shoulders, when Kris let out a sudden hiss of pain. Adam jumped, immediately lowering his arms and easing Kris back down to his reclining position with his head in Adam’s lap.
“S-sorry, I’m sorry,” Adam said in a rush.
“It’s okay,” Kris said with a smile. “I’m okay.” He reached for Adam’s hand again, and gripped it tightly between both of his own. Adam smiled down at him fondly and lovingly, his other hand lifting to stroke through Kris’ hair. Adam’s eyes softened the longer he looked at Kris, his heart racing and swelling as he pondered thoughts about the boy in his lap.
“So…” Adam started softly, his hand gripping Kris’ more tightly, “Even when you thought my heart was unfaithful to you, still…you gave so much to save me. You still did that for me.”
“I would do anything for you,” Kris said immediately, automatically and with conviction. “Even if I heard you declare love to the Pharaoh with my own ears, I would have still come through that battle to bring the tonic to you. And I mean it.”
Through his delirious happiness and the fluttering of his heart, Adam thought back to Kris’ shy, quiet character when they had first met, and he would have been amused by Kris’ assertiveness if he hadn’t felt quite so honored and stunned.
“I apologize, but I’m still not convinced I’m worth that.”
“You are,” Kris said softly, his tone gentle yet serious. “I know you’ve been waiting your whole life for someone to tell you that. And I am now, so please believe me. You’re worth anything, everything to me.”
Adam was caught off guard, stunned for a few seconds by the way Kris had just reached his heart so exactly and precisely. Kris knew him even better than Adam had realized.
“Kris,” Adam said softly, then cleared his throat so he could give his voice the strength it needed for what he planned to say. “The…the disease I had. I already contracted it long before I met you, and it was from my job, my lifestyle. I don’t even have any way of knowing who it was that spread it to me. Clearly, no amount of money is worth that. No amount of…strange, sick comfort I would get in the familiarity of doing what I had been made to believe I was raised for. Nothing was worth how sick I was. I know I would have died, if I hadn’t been fortunate enough to have you to save me. My job, my lifestyle…it would have killed me. And you,…being willing to do anything to save me…” Adam placed a light, ever so careful hand over the bloodied bandage covering Kris’ wound, “…willing to…die for me, my prostitution almost killed you too.” Adam moved his hand to touch Kris’ face. “This was the rudest wake up call imaginable, but…in a strange way,…I think it’s what I needed. Kris, you can believe me this time, hear me swear to you that I’m giving that life up forever. No matter who it is, no matter what they give me,…I will never let anyone touch me or kiss me or have me. I’m yours and only yours. I swear,…forever.”
Kris’ eyes started tearing up halfway through Adam’s speech. “Are you sure?” Kris asked softly, voice wavering. “I know it’s not easy for you, I know it’s not simple…”
Adam laid a gentle finger over his mouth to quiet him.
“Simple enough. Because I would do anything for you, too.”
Kris fixed Adam with a teary smile for a few moments, just gazing at him and nothing else.
“But, Adam…..you can’t just do it for me. It has to be for you, too…”
“It’s for both of us. So we can be together without anything getting in the way. So we can be happy, no complications”
Kris smiled so wide, it looked as if the smile might hurt his face.
Kris responded, “For that to happen, we have to get out of here first.”
Adam nodded, but even despite the circumstances they were trapped in, the sight of Kris’ huge, seamless smile made a grin of equal size slide its way across Adam’s mouth as he stroked his fingers through Kris’ sandy-brown hair again.
Kris looked as happy and content as he possibly could in that moment, with his eyes closed and his head pillowed back in Adam’s lap. Watching him made Adam relieved and relaxed, just for the moment. But then Kris suddenly hissed in pain, one hand flying to his shoulder. His hand wavered as his face contorted in pain, looking like he wanted to grip his shoulder but knowing that doing so would only cause the pain to worsen.
“Kris, Kris, what happened…?” Adam asked worriedly, one of his hands clenching anxiously in Kris’ robes.
“It-it stings….burns all of a sudden,” Kris whimpered. “Get the wash cloth. Could you put cool water on it?”
“Y-Yes, of course…” Adam immediately reached over for the cloth again. He tested the water temperature with his fingers first, then quickly submerged the whole cloth under the water’s surface. He wrung it out a few times before lifting it to Kris’ shoulder. He gently peeled the cloth bandage to the side, so he could dab the wet washcloth to the wound. Adam’s heart clenched with fear when he saw how much it was still bleeding. The injury had cut sickeningly deep into Kris’ shoulder, but Adam was terrified by more than just that fact. Even from a wound that deep, blood flow should gradually lessen with time. But Kris’ wasn’t at all. Adam didn’t want to dwell too much on the added threat of some kind of infection, but he knew it was a possibility.
“I’m so sorry, Kris….I don’t know what else to do for you,” Adam whispered in a pained voice as he gently dabbed the wash cloth to Kris’ bloodied shoulder. Kris just forced a smile in reply.
“Don’t worry, Adam. I’ll be fine.”
If Kris didn’t look quite so weak and frail lying out in Adam’s lap, Adam would have been cross with him for lying so blatantly. Just looking at Kris - how pale and worn his face was - made it painfully obvious how far away from fine he was.
“Just…wrap my shoulder again,” Kris said weakly. Adam nodded as he returned the washcloth to the basin. Instead of ripping off fabric from his robes, this time Adam went to look through the crates of supplies until he found a roll of bandages. He wrapped Kris’ shoulder liberally because of how much blood there still was, then tied off the bandage neatly.
“Thank you,” Kris said with a little smile as Adam settled back down on the bed with Kris’ head in his lap.
As Adam slid his fingers gently into Kris’ hair again, Kris’ eyes began slipping closed.
“Go ahead and sleep, love,” Adam told him softly. “It’ll help you heal. I’m too concerned about you to sleep, so don’t worry, I’ll watch over you.”
“But… you should sleep too,” Kris mumbled, already half asleep. He was obviously weakened and drowsy from his injury. “…You’re still getting better…”
“No, I’m feeling much, much better. Thanks to my hero, who fought his way in here to save me.”
Kris got a silly, dreamy smile on his face at Adam’s words. “Rode all over the desert, too…” he murmured, before his breathing evened out into sleep.
Adam smiled a little as he watched Kris’ face melt into relaxation and peace. Adam gently touched his fingertips to Kris’ cheek.
“He did a lot more than that,” Adam murmured, even though there was no one to hear. “He saved me in every possible meaning of the word.”
“So tell me exactly what you had to do to get the tonic?”
Kris was sitting back in the bed, leaning against a pile of pillows. Adam had dug out some more food for them, eating half himself and feeding Kris the rest. They had been trapped in this room for almost two days now, as the sounds of the battle outside hadn’t ceased to rage. The gruesome sounds of battle would quiet for a few hours in the night, but then begin again in the first light of day.
But even in so many hours, Kris had barely recovered any of his strength. Blood from his wound didn’t quite soak all the way through the bandages anymore, but they still had to be changed frequently - not nearly enough of an improvement for Adam to feel any less on edge.
After he swallowed his mouthful of food, he began, “Michael and I searched all through the markets, and when we didn’t find Ahmad there, we knew we were going to have to extend our search to the surrounding trade routes in the area. I was about to go mad, I was so anxious to get the tonic and bring it back to you, but searching all the trade routes was going to be such a huge, daunting task.”
Kris reached out to find Adam’s hand and hold it, needing the reassurance that Adam was here, alive, healthy, for Kris to be able to go on.
“But we set out. And when I say set out, I mean more like tear out. Those horses have never run faster in their lives, I’m sure of that. After about a day of searching I was starting to get desperate and hopeless. There was such a distance to search… But some god up there was watching and must have helped us...” Kris smiled the slightest bit at Adam. “At the third trade post we traveled past, we found Ahmad. I was so relieved, I almost collapsed,” Kris laughed a little, and squeezed Adam’s hand. “At first, he didn’t want to sell us the tonic because he said it was worth more than what we were offering. I was so unbelievably angry at him for being so greedy and stupid. I yelled and screamed more than I care to admit. Then Michael finally threatened him, and that scared him enough that he agreed to sell it to us. And then, well, I jumped onto that horse and rode back as fast as I possibly could, to get the tonic to you and save you.”
Kris’ eyes lowered from Adam’s face, and Adam watched as Kris sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, biting it. “I was so, so scared,” Kris murmured, “So scared I’d lose you. …And then I wouldn’t know what to do…”
With those words, Kris looked so small and lost, so frightened. Adam immediately set aside the plate they’d been eating from, and crawled up the bed towards Kris. He pulled Kris into his arms, and Kris immediately clung to him, burying his face against Adam’s chest as Adam held him.
“I’m here, I’m right here,” Adam murmured, his lips pressed against Kris’ hair, “I’m alive and well, thanks to you.” Kris nodded a little, but kept holding onto Adam. After gently rubbing his hand up and down Kris’ back for a few minutes, Adam spoke softly again, “You know,…there was a moment while you were gone, when I woke up and I could think relatively clearly. But the only thing I noticed, the only thing I thought about…was that you weren’t there. And I may have panicked for a moment, because I didn’t understand why you were gone.”
Kris’ fingers tightened in the material of Adam’s robes, and he tipped his head up so he could see Adam’s face. Adam smiled softly at him, and lifted a hand to stroke his cheek.
“Once we get out of here,” Adam started softly, “We’re never going to have to be apart again, are we?”
Kris shook his head, his arms curling up around Adam’s neck. “I can’t think of any reason that could ever be good enough.”
“Good,” Adam breathed, his fingers still caressing Kris’ cheek, “Because I need you so much, Kris. I don’t think I could bear being away from you again, not after I spent so long trapped here in the palace, away from you.”
Kris placed a soft kiss on Adam’s lips before he responded, “Well if you’re going to be so clingy, I guess I have no choice but to hang around.” Adam grinned and chuckled a little before Kris continued, “And you have to know it doesn’t matter to me where I am or where I’m going, as long as I’m with you.”
“I guess that settles it, then,” Adam said matter-of-factly, “We’re stuck together for life.”
“I guess we’ll have to make it work somehow,” Kris said, smiling languidly as he slowly tilted his lips in for another kiss. Adam wrapped Kris up tightly in his arms as he kissed him again. To Adam, it still seemed like Kris was the only person he’d ever shared a true kiss with - a kiss that meant something.
Only a few seconds later, Kris grew weak again. Adam carefully settled Kris back down on the bed, his head in Adam’s lap, as was becoming their routine position.
There was suddenly a loud banging on the door that caused both of them to jump. It came again - a pounding, like someone was trying to break through the door.
“Adam….” Kris’ eyes were huge, and his breathing grew loud as fear pulsed through him.
“I know I promised I wouldn’t, Kris, but if that’s Lady Merrick’s forces finally getting through, I’m handing myself over before I let her kill you too.”
“No, you said…!” Kris was cut off by the crash of the door flying open. Adam crouched down protectively over Kris in his lap, but he was surprised when he looked towards the open door and saw his gesture was unnecessary.
The Pharaoh stood in the doorway, brandishing a sword in each hand, and his harried appearance evidence that he had fought his way in and most likely kicked the door open. He was still in battle gear - nothing but a kilt and thin armor strapped over his bare torso. He rushed into the room immediately, exclaiming, “Adam! Are you alright?”
After taking a few seconds to get over his shock, Adam responded, “Yes, I’m fine! Kris was able to get me the tonic. But Kris was injured when he was bringing it to me! His wound hasn’t stopped bleeding!”
After coming over to the bed and briefly inspecting Kris, the Pharaoh turned back towards the door to yell for the nurses to be summoned.
“What’s happening outside?” Adam asked worriedly, “Is the fighting over?”
The Pharaoh grimaced, “I couldn’t believe the state of things when I returned. And in my own home! I marched my army in here and they’re putting down my sister’s impudence. It won’t be long until the fighting’s over and everything is back under my control. And don’t worry, we’ll get Kris fixed up.”
As if on cue, two nurses hurried in through the doorway.
“Here.” The Pharaoh motioned them over to where Kris laid on the bed. As they carefully peeled away the bandage in order to inspect the injury, the Pharaoh asked, “And the rest of the nurses are tending to my injured guards?” One of the nurses leaning over Kris nodded.
Adam held his breath, his heart beating quickly and uncontrollably as he waited for them to examine the gash.
Finally, one of the nurses said, “Lucky we got in here when we did. His wound’s infected. We’re going to use some salve to disinfect it, and then stitch it up right away before anything else can get in there.”
“I was afraid of that,” Adam breathed, his heart still pounding. “Please, treat him as soon as possible.”
“We’ll do it right now. Won’t take long,” one of the nurses looked over to the Pharaoh for confirmation, and he nodded. One of the nurses rushed out of the room to fetch the necessary supplies.
“Stay here next to me,” Kris asked Adam softly, a little bit of trepidation clear in Kris’ eyes.
Adam nodded immediately, taking one of Kris’ hands between his own. “Didn’t we already establish that we’re not ever leaving each other? I don’t plan on going anywhere.”
As soon as the one nurse returned, the two of them got to work. The Pharaoh remained at the bedside as well, watching over the procedure. Kris hissed in pain when the disinfecting salve was poured over his wound, and he squeezed Adam’s hand tight. Adam soothed him, telling him repeatedly that it would be over soon. And without wasting a moment, the nurses were soon producing a small needle and thin thread. Adam gripped Kris’ hand and gently stroked the back of his fingers as Kris’ wound was stitched up. Kris kept a death grip on Adam’s hand all the way until his shoulder was wrapped with a bandage again.
“There you go,” the nurse told Kris gently as she folded the end of the bandage into place. “In about half a moon cycle, see a doctor to have the stitches removed. You should be just fine.”
The Pharaoh interjected, “Why don’t you two simply stay here in the palace until the stitches are removed and we’re sure that both of you are properly healed?”
Adam shared a look with Kris before he responded for the both of them, “Thank you sincerely for the offer, and for everything you’ve done for both of us. But I think I speak for the two of us when I say we’d really just like to leave as soon as possible and put all that’s happened here behind us.”
The Pharaoh nodded understandingly, carefully hiding any of his thoughts towards their departure behind a neutral expression.
Kris started slowly sitting up in bed, and the nurses immediately reached out to support him, helping him sit up and then step onto the ground.
“Adam,” the Pharaoh said softly, drawing Adam aside. Adam went, after making sure Kris was alright standing on his own without support.
“Yes?” Adam asked when he noticed the seriousness of the Pharaoh’s expression.
“You…want to leave for good? I remember promising that after your departure, I would put out orders that you would never be captured or searched for again, under any circumstances. Of course I will still honor that. But do you remember my offer to give you my shared power? That still stands, and there is no other deserving of the position.”
Adam didn’t need any time to think it over.
“I am truly honored that you count me worthy, Your Majesty, but I must give my deepest apologies and stand behind my previous answer. With Kris injured, I really must stay at his side constantly, and he’s already given up so much for me…”
The Pharaoh just smiled regretfully in response. Really, that had been the answer he’d already been expecting. “Then it appears it’s time for both of you to finally leave. There are still a few final skirmishes going on outside. Once they’re quelled, you’ll be free to go wherever.”
The Pharaoh turned to lead them out of his chambers, and Adam moved to Kris’ side, slipping an arm around his waist to support him. Kris had overheard snippets of Adam and the Pharaoh’s hushed conversation, and he was looking up at Adam with something akin to awe.
“He offered you his throne?” Kris questioned softly.
Adam just smiled at Kris and shook his head slightly. “He offered to share it. But that would get in the way of the agreement we had about never being parted, remember?” Adam kissed Kris’ forehead, putting the issue to rest.
Kris and Adam had both been prepared for the sight of carnage when they stepped out through the door, following behind the Pharaoh and two of his guards. But neither of them was quite fully primed for bloodied bodies that littered the wide hallway’s floor. Kris couldn’t bear looking for more than a few seconds, quickly turning his head in against Adam’s shoulder. Adam’s arm tightened around the smaller man’s waist. Adam’s stomach churned and writhed, as if attempting to crawl up his throat. Had all of this happened solely because of him?
The Pharaoh charged forward into the remnants of the battle still struggling on a little ways down the hallway. Kris and Adam stood still behind the Pharaoh’s guards’ protection, able to do nothing but watch.
Lady Merrick and Lord Dallon’s forces had been almost completely depleted. But still, they refused to give in. They remained standing behind the small number of guards they had left, failing to see the blatant fact that they had lost. Looking further down the hallway, Adam could see the Pharaoh’s wives, Ahura and Layla, standing with Merrick and Dallon. Somewhere along the way, they had combined their four groups of forces. But they remained lost. Fear and apprehension were plain on Ahura and Layla’s faces as they watched their husband join the opposing side. The Pharaoh’s swords stilled for only a moment so he could converse with one of his allies. When he moved again, Adam was utterly shocked to see Nesa standing there, commanding her own forces. She had followed her sister in laws’ queue to join the battle, but had chosen the other side and added her forces to that of the Pharaoh’s.
In only the next few minutes, Adam and Kris watched the Pharaoh, his remaining guards, and Nesa’s guards take down the final remnants of the opposition. As they watched their final man fall - the Pharaoh’s sword thrust through his shoulder - Ahura and Layla dropped to their knees and threw themselves prostrate before the Pharaoh, crying out for forgiveness. Even Dallon slowly slid to the ground, his face fearful. Lady Merrick was the only one who remained standing, tall and stupidly defiant. The Pharaoh sheathed one of his swords but kept the second sword gripped tightly in his hand. He marched up to where Lady Merrick stood, drawing up to his full height so he stood several inches taller than the older woman. He lifted his sword and laid it against her shoulder, moving it so the edge of the blade ghosted against the skin of her neck. She flinched.
“On you knees, sister,” he commanded from between clenched teeth, his tone harsh and steely. Her eyes weakened and gave up the challenge against him. Finally, she sank down to her knees, head bowed.
The Pharaoh sheathed his sword, watching his sister warily.
“It’s over. Your insurrection is finished.”
[[Next]]
A/N: It may seem like everything's beginning to wrap up, but I've still got some plot in my back pocket! According to my latest outline, there will still be two or three more chapters. :) Anyway, please leave comments about all your thoughts, emotions, etc. Any feedback is good feedback! As always, thanks for reading.
At first, all Adam could see was bright, clear light. Then, slowly his vision began to focus. His vision hadn’t been this clear in days, and he laid there in a daze as the ceiling slowly slid into focus. He swallowed experimentally, and was shocked to feel the swelling and blockage gone. He wiggled his fingers, and then lifted his right arm with some effort. He held up his hand above his face, fingers spread. The red splotches were receding. Now, they were faint and barely visible. They didn’t hurt anymore. He couldn’t believe what had happened - there was no pain in his throat, no bloody, violent cough trying to fight its way out. His body felt calm and peaceful.
There was the pull of exhaustion, coaxing him to close his eyes and rest, now that he could sleep peacefully. But he couldn’t quite yet. How had this happened? How had the pain all gone away?
Adam opened his eyes again and tensed his muscles so he could sit up. His limbs still felt a little stiff, but the pain remained at bay. His vision swam for a moment, but just a few seconds of rubbing brought it back, as clear as ever. The form of something next to him caught his attention.
At first, it was just a set of limbs, a tangle of robes, a limp body. Then Adam’s eyes traveled up to the person’s face, and all of the pain that had appeared to be gone suddenly seemed to flare right in his heart.
Adam gasped and struggled to sit up all the way and move across the bed. He reached out for Kris’ unconscious body, hands trembling. The second his hands touched Kris’ robes was the second he saw all the blood. He choked on his breath. There was so much.
“K-Kris…” Adam’s hands gingerly inspected Kris’ bloodied robes, searching for the source of the blood. Adam untied the robes in the front, and pushed them back off Kris’ shoulders. When he saw the bloody, gory mess that was Kris’ right shoulder, the world seemed to shrink in on Adam, trapping and choking him.
Adam scrambled to untie his own robes. He slid his arm out of one of the sleeves, and then gripped the empty sleeve at the shoulder. He held onto the material of the sleeve and pulled until the seams at the shoulder loosened and pulled apart. He took the ripped-off sleeve and quickly folded it across his lap to use to wrap Kris’ wound. As his fingers hastened to fix the makeshift bandage, his panicked eyes kept flicking over Kris’ unmoving body. His eyes raced to follow the curve of Kris’ arm jutting out from his body, and then Adam’s hands paused for a moment.
In his fingers, Kris was still gripping a small, empty glass vial. Adam just stared at the small object for a couple seconds before everything clicked in his mind.
That was the reason Kris was here in the room with him. Kris had come in to bring the tonic that would save Adam. The conversation with the doctor when he’d told Kris about the San Qi tonic was the last thing Adam could remember before the days of darkness and bleary unconsciousness.
Then, Adam heard a thump and a shout from outside the door of the Pharaoh’s chambers. There was more yelling, and it sounded like battle cries. Adam still wasn’t sure how Kris had gotten so injured, but the chaotic sounds from outside must have contributed. Kris would have had to come through whatever was happening outside the door in order to get inside to bring Adam the tonic. Kris must have traveled and searched for the tonic, and then returned and done whatever necessary to get it to Adam. And the fact that the vial in Kris’ hand was empty must mean Kris had succeeded in giving it to Adam before he’d passed out from blood loss.
That was how Adam felt so much better. Kris had saved him. Kris had almost sacrificed everything for him.
Adam bit the inside of his bottom lip hard, tasting the tang of blood. He had to get the wrap around Kris’ wound before he lost himself to his emotions. Adam twisted up the fabric of his sleeve and then pulled it taut. Before he wrapped it around Kris’ shoulder, he noticed a small washbasin and a cloth set out beside the bed. Adam reached out to pick up the cloth, and dipped it into the water. He steeled himself to all the blood, biting his lip before he leaned over Kris to gently dab the cloth over his wound. He carefully cleared away any dried blood and dirt. Then he set the cloth aside and slid the separated sleeve from his robe beneath Kris’ shoulder and carefully pulled up both ends to cover the bloody gash. He looped it around Kris’ shoulder a second time before tying it loosely. He spread the fabric a little, making sure it covered the whole width of the gash.
Adam looked at his hands, and swallowed unpleasant sickness when he saw Kris’ blood covering his hands. He wasn’t naturally prone to sickness at the sight of blood, but Kris’ blood was another story. He dipped his hands into the washbasin to clean off the blood.
Adam sat back on the bed and crossed his legs before reaching out for Kris again. He carefully lifted Kris’ head and moved it into his lap, biting his lip again as he combed his fingers softly through the other boy’s hair. He still hadn’t stirred once, and Adam had never hated silence more.
The silence was broken by another yell from the other side of the door. Adam jumped slightly and put his arms more tightly around Kris as if to protect him. Adam looked back down to Kris worriedly. Blood was already beginning to seep into the fabric of Adam’s sleeve - darkening the black fabric. Looking at Kris’ ruined robes, the alarming amount of blood he’d lost was clear.
Under his robes, Kris was wearing the thin white tunic Adam had bought for him at the markets so long ago. Before Adam had wrapped the wound, blood had already stained the white silk. Adam lightly touched the shirt with his fingertips, remembering that first trip to the markets with Kris.
Kris had been so stunned when Adam had bought him new clothes like it was nothing. Back then, Kris had been so timid and shy about everything. Adam thought back to the many moons he’d spent with Kris since then. As they had come to know each other better and fallen more and more in love, Kris had lost his inhibitions little by little. Adam may have provided for Kris in the beginning when they first met, but since then, Kris had given him so much more. Kris had saved him - not only in the literal meaning. Kris had appreciated him, cherished him, … made him feel for the first time like he was worth more than just a pleasure toy. And Adam had been dangerously close to losing himself in his loneliness and misery before Kris had come along. No one had ever made Adam feel like Kris did, no one made him feel that good, that loved. Adam had spent many days in the palace with the company of the Pharaoh’s talented, capable body, but Adam’s temporary pleasure had never turned to more. Kris made all of him feel loved - past his face and his skin, every part of him; more than Adam had ever imagined anyone could make him feel.
Adam kept his arms around Kris in his lap, occasionally stroking a hand through his hair. Adam couldn’t calm down, couldn’t focus on anything other than the wetness in the cloth wrapped around Kris’ shoulder, and his blood-red, ruined robes. It didn’t seem like Kris’ wound would stop bleeding any time soon and it was terrifying Adam. He had no idea what to do. What else could he do, besides wrap the wound? Perhaps stitch it, but even if he had the supplies, he would be too frightened of aggravating the wound worse. He should get Kris aid from someone who knew how to help him. But the sounds of the battle outside the doors went on. Adam knew that the Pharaoh had had to leave. He had knelt at Adam’s bedside before he’d left, and told Adam he was leaving him with food and other supplies before he departed. But none of that was what Adam needed. He needed a doctor for Kris.
With the Pharaoh gone, the palace wasn’t a safe place for Adam. He had too many enemies within the walls. He assumed the conflict going on beyond the doors was those enemies - Lady Merrick, perhaps Lord Dallon - trying to reach him and take the kind of revenge they weren’t at leisure to with the Pharaoh there protecting Adam.
But Adam needed to get Kris help. That was more important than keeping himself hidden. Whoever was out there was noisily fighting hard to reach him, and he figured they’d be willing to summon care for Kris in exchange for Adam handing himself over.
Adam looked down to Kris again, studied his blank, beautiful face. Adam bit his bottom lip again, worrying teeth marks into the flesh there that were quickly becoming worn-in. Kris’ face was blank, expressionless. Adam had to clutch him close, feel the pulsing beat of his heart and the body heat radiating from him to be reassured Kris was still breathing.
“There’s no way in hell I can sit here and do nothing, Kris,” he murmured, voice strained and pained. “I’m….watching you bleed to death, and this happened because of me.” Now, tears were steadily leaking into his eyes. “You’re so badly hurt. You must be in so much pain. ….. You are the single most…loving, kind, beautiful person I’ve ever known, and this world could lose you. Lose the light, all the good things you bring to it,…over me. I’m not worth this. Not nearly worth losing you…”
By now, Adam was trembling. He had to close his eyes to keep the tears from leaking out. Then something soft and gentle touched his cheek. Startled, Adam opened his eyes again.
Kris’ eyes were just barely open - only just enough for Adam to be able to see their heavenly color. It was Kris’ hand touching his cheek. Adam’s heart leaped.
“But you are,” Kris whispered, voice weak and raspy. “Don’t you understand that I’ve been trying so long to get you to see that?”
“K-Kris,” Adam choked, his tears falling on their own volition. His arms tightened around Kris, keeping him as close against his chest as he could.
“Adam,..listen to me.” Kris breathed, his gaze locked seriously with Adam’s eyes. “I know what you’re probably thinking right now. You’re thinking of doing anything you can to get me medical help. Even turning yourself over.”
Adam looked shocked. Kris knew him too well.
“Listen to me. You can’t,” Kris breathed urgently, his fingers knotting in the material of Adam’s robes. “They want to kill you, Merrick and Dallon, that’s what they’re trying to do. The Pharaoh left his guards orders to protect you, and they’re the only thing stopping those monsters from getting their way. I got in here to save your life, and you can’t just go throwing your life away now.”
“But Kris,…you could be dying…”
“I’m not,” Kris said softly, but with a little smile. “I would feel it if I was dying. Trust me, I’m not.” Kris let go of where he’d been clutching Adam’s robes, and moved one hand up to touch Adam’s cheek again. “Adam,…if you love me, make what I did for you worth it. It was worth it to me. Anything to keep you here with me is worth it to me. Please, just keep yourself safe from them.”
“You know I love you,” Adam murmured, trying his best to blink his tears away. Kris was telling him something very difficult to hear, but he didn’t feel the kind of crushing heartache or difficulty he was afraid he would as he heard what Kris was saying. Because deep down, he knew Kris was right. Adam loved Kris with everything in him, and trading his life away would undo this grand, amazing thing Kris had done for him, and Adam wouldn’t disrespect him like that, especially not when Kris was there in his arms, clinging to his robes and begging Adam to do as he was asking him.
“Fine,” Adam breathed, “I understand, Kris. And I’ll do it, for you. But still, I can’t just sit here watching. I wrapped your wound but there has to be something else I can do. What do you need?”
“I’m…more weak from hunger than anything else,” Kris said softly. “I was so focused on getting that tonic, I’ve hardly eaten anything since that conversation with the doctor…”
Adam nodded immediately, and carefully laid Kris back down on the bed. Being careful he didn’t move too fast and make himself weak, Adam slowly got up from the bed and went over to the crates the Pharaoh had had servants bring in and place beside the bed before his departure. Adam peered inside, and found one filled with nothing but food, and almost any kind of food Adam could think of. For now, Adam just lifted out a few loaves of bread. He went back to the bed, and kneeled down beside Kris again.
“Kris?” Adam asked loudly, when he saw Kris’ eyes were closed.
Kris’ eyes cracked open again, “Y-yes,…yes, I’m fine.” Adam gently lifted Kris’ head into his lap again. Adam ripped off a bite-sized piece of the bread and fed it to Kris. After a few more bites in the same fashion, Adam tore off a larger piece, and gave it to Kris to eat himself once Kris seemed to have the strength to hold it.
“You eat the rest,” Kris told him softly around a bite of bread. “You can’t have eaten much either.”
It wasn’t until Adam was studying the bread in his hand that he realized how hungry he suddenly was. After he’d woken up and seen Kris lying unconscious beside him, Kris had consumed Adam’s thoughts. Adam bit into the bread hungrily.
They ate in silence for a few minutes. Kris ate the whole piece of bread Adam had given him. Adam was just finishing his own piece when Kris suddenly gave a horrified gasp.
Adam swallowed quickly, then exclaimed, “What?! What is it? What’s wrong?”
Kris was looking down at himself, and reached up to the white tunic he was wearing. “Oh no, it’s stained and ruined! No,…this is one of the tunics you bought for me…”
Adam let out a huge sigh of relief, and then a little laugh. “Gods, Kris, you frightened me. And don’t worry yourself about that. When we get out of this damned palace, I promise I’ll buy you all the tunics you want to replace this one.”
Kris’ immediate reaction was a smile for Adam. But after a few seconds, Kris’ smile began to shrink. “Do you think,…..are we going to get out of here?”
Adam frowned, but his voice stayed strong. “Yes. No matter what, both of us will. That can’t go on forever,” he waved his hand in the direction of the door, their barricade against the battle taking place outside. “And you’re going to walk out of here, healthy and strong.” Adam smiled as much as he could to back up his words, and he stroked Kris’ cheek reassuringly. Kris did his best to smile back.
“If only the Pharaoh hadn’t left,” Kris said softly, his eyes falling from Adam’s. “None of that would be happening outside if he was here to keep order. You know,…he helped me a lot with searching for the tonic for you. He didn’t go with me, but he gave me a fast horse, sent two of his guards to accompany me, and he gave me a whole bag of gold to buy the tonic with.” Maybe, Kris just couldn’t help but fishing a little for Adam to talk about what had transpired between himself and the Pharaoh. Kris knew it probably wasn’t the time, but it worried him incessantly all the same.
“He’s a good man,” Adam said, not picking up the vulnerable edge to Kris’ statement. “The only one of the sort in this sordid palace. He looked out for me, stayed his sister’s hand whenever she got too abusive towards me. He was really going to give it his all to help me escape. But of course, that was all after I started frequenting his bed,” Adam said nonchalantly.
“So then,…you were really sharing his bed? You said something about it in your letter to Michael and me, about how you got him to help you, but…that was a regular thing? With the Pharaoh?”
Adam nodded. He wasn’t looking at Kris, he was blankly watching the wall instead. “He was the only good thing in the palace. He cared for me. It’s why he’s got guards out there protecting me. He was always kind when we were together, always gentle. I think he may even imagine he loves me, though I’m not sure I believe it.”
“But do you,…” Kris began to ask softly, framing the question painfully in his mind before he could bring himself to vocalize it, “..d-do you….love him too…?”
Adam’s eyes widened and instantly snapped away from the wall and back to Kris. His eyes softened when he saw the traces of pain and worry on Kris’ face, and he put his arms around Kris again in his lap.
“Oh, oh Kris,…I understand now. I can see how it looked that way. But no, never, Kris. He was never anything more than a good customer to me. Yes, he’s given me a lot, but after you, Kris…, I could never love anyone else.” Adam tenderly stroked Kris’ cheek, and then gave him the hint of a smile. “Even if they are the Pharaoh. They would still never come close to comparing to you.”
Kris smiled, weak but relieved. He reached up for Adam’s hand against his cheek, and held onto it with both of his own. Adam felt the way Kris gripped his hand, and could sense how much this worry had plagued Kris.
“I promise you, Kris,” Adam spoke softly, yet with the power of truth strong behind his words, “Everything I did with him, it was all only for you. So I could get back to you. So he would help me escape and return to you. It was low of me to use him like that, but at that point, I would have done anything to be with you again……I missed you so much, while I was trapped here,” Adam’s voice fell low and urgent.
Kris started struggling in Adam’s lap, searching for the strength to sit up. Adam helped him, and then Kris was throwing his arms around Adam and kissing him.
Both of them were a bit caught off guard, because up until this point, they had just been happy to be in each other’s presence again, to see each other alive and well with their own eyes. But Adam’s words had acted as some kind of switch, as a catalyst to the flooding of old, overwhelming feelings from when they’d been separated. For Adam, of the hours, days, weeks spent in the palace, pining for Kris, missing him like he was the very air Adam needed to survive. For Kris, the relief of Adam being alive and awake and healthy right before his eyes, knowing he was alright, and lurking deeper than that, it was a deep, passionate longing and need for Adam that had been budding inside him, even since before Adam had been taken from him and dragged to the palace.
Kris clutched Adam’s robe at the shoulders, and Adam gathered Kris close in his arms - just for this moment, the torturous worries about Kris’ wound relieved. They had never had a kiss like this, and it made both of them light-headed and dizzy. In this simple, all-powerful moment of need and love, both of them were able to momentarily forget the mess of worries and fear and danger their lives had been and still were. They were dipping into a new world of shared passion they had not yet stepped foot in, as they tasted for the first time the kind of hungry, intense kiss they hadn’t yet shared.
They separated a few long, long seconds later. Kris was grinning as he pulled away. He’d thought about that kind of kiss a little bit back when they’d been exploring their first soft, short, tentative kisses together. Kris had been waiting for a kiss like that. Adam was just breathing hard, trying to catch up again to his racing brain. It felt so good to just lose himself in Kris for a few moments, he didn’t think about it or the consequences. He tugged Kris in close against him, wrapping him up tightly in his arms.
“I love you,” Adam breathed easily, happily against Kris’ ear.
Kris didn’t doubt it, and his mind had already gone about dumping out all his fears about Adam falling for someone else. “I love you too,” Kris murmured happily. “So, so much.”
Adam’s hand shifted upwards, to grip Kris more tightly around the shoulders, when Kris let out a sudden hiss of pain. Adam jumped, immediately lowering his arms and easing Kris back down to his reclining position with his head in Adam’s lap.
“S-sorry, I’m sorry,” Adam said in a rush.
“It’s okay,” Kris said with a smile. “I’m okay.” He reached for Adam’s hand again, and gripped it tightly between both of his own. Adam smiled down at him fondly and lovingly, his other hand lifting to stroke through Kris’ hair. Adam’s eyes softened the longer he looked at Kris, his heart racing and swelling as he pondered thoughts about the boy in his lap.
“So…” Adam started softly, his hand gripping Kris’ more tightly, “Even when you thought my heart was unfaithful to you, still…you gave so much to save me. You still did that for me.”
“I would do anything for you,” Kris said immediately, automatically and with conviction. “Even if I heard you declare love to the Pharaoh with my own ears, I would have still come through that battle to bring the tonic to you. And I mean it.”
Through his delirious happiness and the fluttering of his heart, Adam thought back to Kris’ shy, quiet character when they had first met, and he would have been amused by Kris’ assertiveness if he hadn’t felt quite so honored and stunned.
“I apologize, but I’m still not convinced I’m worth that.”
“You are,” Kris said softly, his tone gentle yet serious. “I know you’ve been waiting your whole life for someone to tell you that. And I am now, so please believe me. You’re worth anything, everything to me.”
Adam was caught off guard, stunned for a few seconds by the way Kris had just reached his heart so exactly and precisely. Kris knew him even better than Adam had realized.
“Kris,” Adam said softly, then cleared his throat so he could give his voice the strength it needed for what he planned to say. “The…the disease I had. I already contracted it long before I met you, and it was from my job, my lifestyle. I don’t even have any way of knowing who it was that spread it to me. Clearly, no amount of money is worth that. No amount of…strange, sick comfort I would get in the familiarity of doing what I had been made to believe I was raised for. Nothing was worth how sick I was. I know I would have died, if I hadn’t been fortunate enough to have you to save me. My job, my lifestyle…it would have killed me. And you,…being willing to do anything to save me…” Adam placed a light, ever so careful hand over the bloodied bandage covering Kris’ wound, “…willing to…die for me, my prostitution almost killed you too.” Adam moved his hand to touch Kris’ face. “This was the rudest wake up call imaginable, but…in a strange way,…I think it’s what I needed. Kris, you can believe me this time, hear me swear to you that I’m giving that life up forever. No matter who it is, no matter what they give me,…I will never let anyone touch me or kiss me or have me. I’m yours and only yours. I swear,…forever.”
Kris’ eyes started tearing up halfway through Adam’s speech. “Are you sure?” Kris asked softly, voice wavering. “I know it’s not easy for you, I know it’s not simple…”
Adam laid a gentle finger over his mouth to quiet him.
“Simple enough. Because I would do anything for you, too.”
Kris fixed Adam with a teary smile for a few moments, just gazing at him and nothing else.
“But, Adam…..you can’t just do it for me. It has to be for you, too…”
“It’s for both of us. So we can be together without anything getting in the way. So we can be happy, no complications”
Kris smiled so wide, it looked as if the smile might hurt his face.
Kris responded, “For that to happen, we have to get out of here first.”
Adam nodded, but even despite the circumstances they were trapped in, the sight of Kris’ huge, seamless smile made a grin of equal size slide its way across Adam’s mouth as he stroked his fingers through Kris’ sandy-brown hair again.
Kris looked as happy and content as he possibly could in that moment, with his eyes closed and his head pillowed back in Adam’s lap. Watching him made Adam relieved and relaxed, just for the moment. But then Kris suddenly hissed in pain, one hand flying to his shoulder. His hand wavered as his face contorted in pain, looking like he wanted to grip his shoulder but knowing that doing so would only cause the pain to worsen.
“Kris, Kris, what happened…?” Adam asked worriedly, one of his hands clenching anxiously in Kris’ robes.
“It-it stings….burns all of a sudden,” Kris whimpered. “Get the wash cloth. Could you put cool water on it?”
“Y-Yes, of course…” Adam immediately reached over for the cloth again. He tested the water temperature with his fingers first, then quickly submerged the whole cloth under the water’s surface. He wrung it out a few times before lifting it to Kris’ shoulder. He gently peeled the cloth bandage to the side, so he could dab the wet washcloth to the wound. Adam’s heart clenched with fear when he saw how much it was still bleeding. The injury had cut sickeningly deep into Kris’ shoulder, but Adam was terrified by more than just that fact. Even from a wound that deep, blood flow should gradually lessen with time. But Kris’ wasn’t at all. Adam didn’t want to dwell too much on the added threat of some kind of infection, but he knew it was a possibility.
“I’m so sorry, Kris….I don’t know what else to do for you,” Adam whispered in a pained voice as he gently dabbed the wash cloth to Kris’ bloodied shoulder. Kris just forced a smile in reply.
“Don’t worry, Adam. I’ll be fine.”
If Kris didn’t look quite so weak and frail lying out in Adam’s lap, Adam would have been cross with him for lying so blatantly. Just looking at Kris - how pale and worn his face was - made it painfully obvious how far away from fine he was.
“Just…wrap my shoulder again,” Kris said weakly. Adam nodded as he returned the washcloth to the basin. Instead of ripping off fabric from his robes, this time Adam went to look through the crates of supplies until he found a roll of bandages. He wrapped Kris’ shoulder liberally because of how much blood there still was, then tied off the bandage neatly.
“Thank you,” Kris said with a little smile as Adam settled back down on the bed with Kris’ head in his lap.
As Adam slid his fingers gently into Kris’ hair again, Kris’ eyes began slipping closed.
“Go ahead and sleep, love,” Adam told him softly. “It’ll help you heal. I’m too concerned about you to sleep, so don’t worry, I’ll watch over you.”
“But… you should sleep too,” Kris mumbled, already half asleep. He was obviously weakened and drowsy from his injury. “…You’re still getting better…”
“No, I’m feeling much, much better. Thanks to my hero, who fought his way in here to save me.”
Kris got a silly, dreamy smile on his face at Adam’s words. “Rode all over the desert, too…” he murmured, before his breathing evened out into sleep.
Adam smiled a little as he watched Kris’ face melt into relaxation and peace. Adam gently touched his fingertips to Kris’ cheek.
“He did a lot more than that,” Adam murmured, even though there was no one to hear. “He saved me in every possible meaning of the word.”
“So tell me exactly what you had to do to get the tonic?”
Kris was sitting back in the bed, leaning against a pile of pillows. Adam had dug out some more food for them, eating half himself and feeding Kris the rest. They had been trapped in this room for almost two days now, as the sounds of the battle outside hadn’t ceased to rage. The gruesome sounds of battle would quiet for a few hours in the night, but then begin again in the first light of day.
But even in so many hours, Kris had barely recovered any of his strength. Blood from his wound didn’t quite soak all the way through the bandages anymore, but they still had to be changed frequently - not nearly enough of an improvement for Adam to feel any less on edge.
After he swallowed his mouthful of food, he began, “Michael and I searched all through the markets, and when we didn’t find Ahmad there, we knew we were going to have to extend our search to the surrounding trade routes in the area. I was about to go mad, I was so anxious to get the tonic and bring it back to you, but searching all the trade routes was going to be such a huge, daunting task.”
Kris reached out to find Adam’s hand and hold it, needing the reassurance that Adam was here, alive, healthy, for Kris to be able to go on.
“But we set out. And when I say set out, I mean more like tear out. Those horses have never run faster in their lives, I’m sure of that. After about a day of searching I was starting to get desperate and hopeless. There was such a distance to search… But some god up there was watching and must have helped us...” Kris smiled the slightest bit at Adam. “At the third trade post we traveled past, we found Ahmad. I was so relieved, I almost collapsed,” Kris laughed a little, and squeezed Adam’s hand. “At first, he didn’t want to sell us the tonic because he said it was worth more than what we were offering. I was so unbelievably angry at him for being so greedy and stupid. I yelled and screamed more than I care to admit. Then Michael finally threatened him, and that scared him enough that he agreed to sell it to us. And then, well, I jumped onto that horse and rode back as fast as I possibly could, to get the tonic to you and save you.”
Kris’ eyes lowered from Adam’s face, and Adam watched as Kris sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, biting it. “I was so, so scared,” Kris murmured, “So scared I’d lose you. …And then I wouldn’t know what to do…”
With those words, Kris looked so small and lost, so frightened. Adam immediately set aside the plate they’d been eating from, and crawled up the bed towards Kris. He pulled Kris into his arms, and Kris immediately clung to him, burying his face against Adam’s chest as Adam held him.
“I’m here, I’m right here,” Adam murmured, his lips pressed against Kris’ hair, “I’m alive and well, thanks to you.” Kris nodded a little, but kept holding onto Adam. After gently rubbing his hand up and down Kris’ back for a few minutes, Adam spoke softly again, “You know,…there was a moment while you were gone, when I woke up and I could think relatively clearly. But the only thing I noticed, the only thing I thought about…was that you weren’t there. And I may have panicked for a moment, because I didn’t understand why you were gone.”
Kris’ fingers tightened in the material of Adam’s robes, and he tipped his head up so he could see Adam’s face. Adam smiled softly at him, and lifted a hand to stroke his cheek.
“Once we get out of here,” Adam started softly, “We’re never going to have to be apart again, are we?”
Kris shook his head, his arms curling up around Adam’s neck. “I can’t think of any reason that could ever be good enough.”
“Good,” Adam breathed, his fingers still caressing Kris’ cheek, “Because I need you so much, Kris. I don’t think I could bear being away from you again, not after I spent so long trapped here in the palace, away from you.”
Kris placed a soft kiss on Adam’s lips before he responded, “Well if you’re going to be so clingy, I guess I have no choice but to hang around.” Adam grinned and chuckled a little before Kris continued, “And you have to know it doesn’t matter to me where I am or where I’m going, as long as I’m with you.”
“I guess that settles it, then,” Adam said matter-of-factly, “We’re stuck together for life.”
“I guess we’ll have to make it work somehow,” Kris said, smiling languidly as he slowly tilted his lips in for another kiss. Adam wrapped Kris up tightly in his arms as he kissed him again. To Adam, it still seemed like Kris was the only person he’d ever shared a true kiss with - a kiss that meant something.
Only a few seconds later, Kris grew weak again. Adam carefully settled Kris back down on the bed, his head in Adam’s lap, as was becoming their routine position.
There was suddenly a loud banging on the door that caused both of them to jump. It came again - a pounding, like someone was trying to break through the door.
“Adam….” Kris’ eyes were huge, and his breathing grew loud as fear pulsed through him.
“I know I promised I wouldn’t, Kris, but if that’s Lady Merrick’s forces finally getting through, I’m handing myself over before I let her kill you too.”
“No, you said…!” Kris was cut off by the crash of the door flying open. Adam crouched down protectively over Kris in his lap, but he was surprised when he looked towards the open door and saw his gesture was unnecessary.
The Pharaoh stood in the doorway, brandishing a sword in each hand, and his harried appearance evidence that he had fought his way in and most likely kicked the door open. He was still in battle gear - nothing but a kilt and thin armor strapped over his bare torso. He rushed into the room immediately, exclaiming, “Adam! Are you alright?”
After taking a few seconds to get over his shock, Adam responded, “Yes, I’m fine! Kris was able to get me the tonic. But Kris was injured when he was bringing it to me! His wound hasn’t stopped bleeding!”
After coming over to the bed and briefly inspecting Kris, the Pharaoh turned back towards the door to yell for the nurses to be summoned.
“What’s happening outside?” Adam asked worriedly, “Is the fighting over?”
The Pharaoh grimaced, “I couldn’t believe the state of things when I returned. And in my own home! I marched my army in here and they’re putting down my sister’s impudence. It won’t be long until the fighting’s over and everything is back under my control. And don’t worry, we’ll get Kris fixed up.”
As if on cue, two nurses hurried in through the doorway.
“Here.” The Pharaoh motioned them over to where Kris laid on the bed. As they carefully peeled away the bandage in order to inspect the injury, the Pharaoh asked, “And the rest of the nurses are tending to my injured guards?” One of the nurses leaning over Kris nodded.
Adam held his breath, his heart beating quickly and uncontrollably as he waited for them to examine the gash.
Finally, one of the nurses said, “Lucky we got in here when we did. His wound’s infected. We’re going to use some salve to disinfect it, and then stitch it up right away before anything else can get in there.”
“I was afraid of that,” Adam breathed, his heart still pounding. “Please, treat him as soon as possible.”
“We’ll do it right now. Won’t take long,” one of the nurses looked over to the Pharaoh for confirmation, and he nodded. One of the nurses rushed out of the room to fetch the necessary supplies.
“Stay here next to me,” Kris asked Adam softly, a little bit of trepidation clear in Kris’ eyes.
Adam nodded immediately, taking one of Kris’ hands between his own. “Didn’t we already establish that we’re not ever leaving each other? I don’t plan on going anywhere.”
As soon as the one nurse returned, the two of them got to work. The Pharaoh remained at the bedside as well, watching over the procedure. Kris hissed in pain when the disinfecting salve was poured over his wound, and he squeezed Adam’s hand tight. Adam soothed him, telling him repeatedly that it would be over soon. And without wasting a moment, the nurses were soon producing a small needle and thin thread. Adam gripped Kris’ hand and gently stroked the back of his fingers as Kris’ wound was stitched up. Kris kept a death grip on Adam’s hand all the way until his shoulder was wrapped with a bandage again.
“There you go,” the nurse told Kris gently as she folded the end of the bandage into place. “In about half a moon cycle, see a doctor to have the stitches removed. You should be just fine.”
The Pharaoh interjected, “Why don’t you two simply stay here in the palace until the stitches are removed and we’re sure that both of you are properly healed?”
Adam shared a look with Kris before he responded for the both of them, “Thank you sincerely for the offer, and for everything you’ve done for both of us. But I think I speak for the two of us when I say we’d really just like to leave as soon as possible and put all that’s happened here behind us.”
The Pharaoh nodded understandingly, carefully hiding any of his thoughts towards their departure behind a neutral expression.
Kris started slowly sitting up in bed, and the nurses immediately reached out to support him, helping him sit up and then step onto the ground.
“Adam,” the Pharaoh said softly, drawing Adam aside. Adam went, after making sure Kris was alright standing on his own without support.
“Yes?” Adam asked when he noticed the seriousness of the Pharaoh’s expression.
“You…want to leave for good? I remember promising that after your departure, I would put out orders that you would never be captured or searched for again, under any circumstances. Of course I will still honor that. But do you remember my offer to give you my shared power? That still stands, and there is no other deserving of the position.”
Adam didn’t need any time to think it over.
“I am truly honored that you count me worthy, Your Majesty, but I must give my deepest apologies and stand behind my previous answer. With Kris injured, I really must stay at his side constantly, and he’s already given up so much for me…”
The Pharaoh just smiled regretfully in response. Really, that had been the answer he’d already been expecting. “Then it appears it’s time for both of you to finally leave. There are still a few final skirmishes going on outside. Once they’re quelled, you’ll be free to go wherever.”
The Pharaoh turned to lead them out of his chambers, and Adam moved to Kris’ side, slipping an arm around his waist to support him. Kris had overheard snippets of Adam and the Pharaoh’s hushed conversation, and he was looking up at Adam with something akin to awe.
“He offered you his throne?” Kris questioned softly.
Adam just smiled at Kris and shook his head slightly. “He offered to share it. But that would get in the way of the agreement we had about never being parted, remember?” Adam kissed Kris’ forehead, putting the issue to rest.
Kris and Adam had both been prepared for the sight of carnage when they stepped out through the door, following behind the Pharaoh and two of his guards. But neither of them was quite fully primed for bloodied bodies that littered the wide hallway’s floor. Kris couldn’t bear looking for more than a few seconds, quickly turning his head in against Adam’s shoulder. Adam’s arm tightened around the smaller man’s waist. Adam’s stomach churned and writhed, as if attempting to crawl up his throat. Had all of this happened solely because of him?
The Pharaoh charged forward into the remnants of the battle still struggling on a little ways down the hallway. Kris and Adam stood still behind the Pharaoh’s guards’ protection, able to do nothing but watch.
Lady Merrick and Lord Dallon’s forces had been almost completely depleted. But still, they refused to give in. They remained standing behind the small number of guards they had left, failing to see the blatant fact that they had lost. Looking further down the hallway, Adam could see the Pharaoh’s wives, Ahura and Layla, standing with Merrick and Dallon. Somewhere along the way, they had combined their four groups of forces. But they remained lost. Fear and apprehension were plain on Ahura and Layla’s faces as they watched their husband join the opposing side. The Pharaoh’s swords stilled for only a moment so he could converse with one of his allies. When he moved again, Adam was utterly shocked to see Nesa standing there, commanding her own forces. She had followed her sister in laws’ queue to join the battle, but had chosen the other side and added her forces to that of the Pharaoh’s.
In only the next few minutes, Adam and Kris watched the Pharaoh, his remaining guards, and Nesa’s guards take down the final remnants of the opposition. As they watched their final man fall - the Pharaoh’s sword thrust through his shoulder - Ahura and Layla dropped to their knees and threw themselves prostrate before the Pharaoh, crying out for forgiveness. Even Dallon slowly slid to the ground, his face fearful. Lady Merrick was the only one who remained standing, tall and stupidly defiant. The Pharaoh sheathed one of his swords but kept the second sword gripped tightly in his hand. He marched up to where Lady Merrick stood, drawing up to his full height so he stood several inches taller than the older woman. He lifted his sword and laid it against her shoulder, moving it so the edge of the blade ghosted against the skin of her neck. She flinched.
“On you knees, sister,” he commanded from between clenched teeth, his tone harsh and steely. Her eyes weakened and gave up the challenge against him. Finally, she sank down to her knees, head bowed.
The Pharaoh sheathed his sword, watching his sister warily.
“It’s over. Your insurrection is finished.”
[[Next]]
A/N: It may seem like everything's beginning to wrap up, but I've still got some plot in my back pocket! According to my latest outline, there will still be two or three more chapters. :) Anyway, please leave comments about all your thoughts, emotions, etc. Any feedback is good feedback! As always, thanks for reading.