Ten and Beyond
Title: Ten and Beyond
Rating: R
Genre: Angst
Pairings One-sided KyuHan, hints of ShiHan
Warnings: Death
Summary: Kyuhyun was ten when he met the sixteen year old Geng. For Annie.
~
He’s ten when he first meets him. It was an accident of sorts where he had gotten lost at the mall. He remembers the worried look on his cousin Sungmin’s face, but most importantly he remembers the Pooh Bear that the Chinese teen had given to him as a present. Kyuhyun thinks he’ll cherish the gift forever, despite whatever age he is. It’s his first time cuddling with a bear as he falls into deep sleep, arms tucked around the soft toy with his chin on top of the head.
He’s twelve when his bear was dirtied. He was sulky for days, but he didn’t dare to cry. It was only when Sungmin realized what was wrong did he wipe the sadden look on his face. He sniffed, wiping his tears away as the man smiles gently at him and promises that his bear would be clean in no time. He knows he’s too old to cry, but he doesn’t care.
He’s fourteen when he first realizes his crush for him. He had rejected a few girls and had taken a walk to clear his head. He thinks it was a mistake ever since after he caught sight of Geng and Siwon holding hands. A pain stabs his heart as he sees the Chinese man leaning in for a kiss. He runs away from the sight.
He’s sixteen when he loses his first kiss. He remembered being angry, irrational, and Geng. He doesn’t want to recall, but he does and he does remember pinning the man down against the wall. The kiss is hard and forceful, not at all tender and loving like he wants it to be. He remembers being shoved off and seeing the angry, hurt look on Geng’s face. He apologizes, but nothing hurts more than the pain of rejection in his chest.
He’s eighteen when he gets accepted to one of the top universities in Korea. He doesn’t remember being happy because that was also the moment of their wedding. He thinks about the whiteness of it all, the purity and tender nature surrounding Geng. He remembers that he wants to destroy all that and take him away for himself. He does nothing but smiles emptily as he watches Geng and Siwon kiss.
He’s twenty and still in college when he receives the news. Geng is dead and gone, taken away from him by an accident. He didn’t make it. He knows and remembers he had taken his anger out on Siwon. He thinks about the broken glass, cuts, blood, and bruises he gives the man. Only to have him apologize constantly, the guilty look in his eyes. Kyuhyun doesn’t remember feeling any sympathy for the man as he walks away.
He’s twenty-two and it’s the night of his graduation. He should be out there celebrating and traveling, of trips and souvenirs, Paris, London, Milan, Tokyo, China. Instead, he lies himself on the couch, a blanket tossed over him. One arm is tucked around the bear that Geng gave him while the other hand clutches the bottle tightly. Kyuhyun stares at the ceiling and smiles. He sees everything blur away and closes his eyes, his final thoughts on Geng as he puts himself to sleep. The bottle falls to the ground, empty.
Fin
Rating: R
Genre: Angst
Pairings One-sided KyuHan, hints of ShiHan
Warnings: Death
Summary: Kyuhyun was ten when he met the sixteen year old Geng. For Annie.
~
He’s ten when he first meets him. It was an accident of sorts where he had gotten lost at the mall. He remembers the worried look on his cousin Sungmin’s face, but most importantly he remembers the Pooh Bear that the Chinese teen had given to him as a present. Kyuhyun thinks he’ll cherish the gift forever, despite whatever age he is. It’s his first time cuddling with a bear as he falls into deep sleep, arms tucked around the soft toy with his chin on top of the head.
He’s twelve when his bear was dirtied. He was sulky for days, but he didn’t dare to cry. It was only when Sungmin realized what was wrong did he wipe the sadden look on his face. He sniffed, wiping his tears away as the man smiles gently at him and promises that his bear would be clean in no time. He knows he’s too old to cry, but he doesn’t care.
He’s fourteen when he first realizes his crush for him. He had rejected a few girls and had taken a walk to clear his head. He thinks it was a mistake ever since after he caught sight of Geng and Siwon holding hands. A pain stabs his heart as he sees the Chinese man leaning in for a kiss. He runs away from the sight.
He’s sixteen when he loses his first kiss. He remembered being angry, irrational, and Geng. He doesn’t want to recall, but he does and he does remember pinning the man down against the wall. The kiss is hard and forceful, not at all tender and loving like he wants it to be. He remembers being shoved off and seeing the angry, hurt look on Geng’s face. He apologizes, but nothing hurts more than the pain of rejection in his chest.
He’s eighteen when he gets accepted to one of the top universities in Korea. He doesn’t remember being happy because that was also the moment of their wedding. He thinks about the whiteness of it all, the purity and tender nature surrounding Geng. He remembers that he wants to destroy all that and take him away for himself. He does nothing but smiles emptily as he watches Geng and Siwon kiss.
He’s twenty and still in college when he receives the news. Geng is dead and gone, taken away from him by an accident. He didn’t make it. He knows and remembers he had taken his anger out on Siwon. He thinks about the broken glass, cuts, blood, and bruises he gives the man. Only to have him apologize constantly, the guilty look in his eyes. Kyuhyun doesn’t remember feeling any sympathy for the man as he walks away.
He’s twenty-two and it’s the night of his graduation. He should be out there celebrating and traveling, of trips and souvenirs, Paris, London, Milan, Tokyo, China. Instead, he lies himself on the couch, a blanket tossed over him. One arm is tucked around the bear that Geng gave him while the other hand clutches the bottle tightly. Kyuhyun stares at the ceiling and smiles. He sees everything blur away and closes his eyes, his final thoughts on Geng as he puts himself to sleep. The bottle falls to the ground, empty.
Fin