Tortured Body and Soul [2/3]
Well....here is the second installment. About twice the length of the first, but I got all that I wanted to get into this single one and the next will be the last.
Chapter contains explicit content like the last, but sexual content as well.
Italicized parts are flashbacks.
First part
Jongup knew that he should have pulled away from the kiss the moment that Himchan’s lips touched his, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. It was so wonderful to be touched in such a way, so gentle and loving compared to all the pain that he had endured during the past couple days or however long that he had been held captive. This was the Himchan that he remembered. The soft but firm lips that touched his, guiding him into a kiss that took his breath away and gave reason for those tears to fall down his cheeks. The emotion that Himchan could make Jongup feel was almost always too much and he didn’t know why he had thought that he could tell his heart to no longer love this man even though he’d been beaten and tortured mercilessly at his hand.
“I’ll find a way to get you out of here.” Himchan muttered against his lover’s lips. Jongup didn’t believe him but he didn’t vocalize that. Right then, he was working on not losing it and sobbing over the man who was doing everything he could to hold him up. Jongup, even while being malnourished from the past week, had a lot of muscle and weighed a good amount when he was completely uncooperative though obviously not by choice. Himchan didn’t even want Jongup to try and stand; he wouldn’t do that to him. “Here.” Himchan carefully dragged Jongup over to the wall where he lowered him down to sit.
After placing his lover on the ground, Himchan walked over to the corner where a small table lay and an array of torturing devices lay. It was clear that he was going easy on Jongup given the wide variety and the few that had actually been used. The elder man returned with a water bottle that he carefully tipped into Jongup’s mouth. The man drank eagerly.
“That’s it, my love.” Himchan encouraged and yet still pulled the bottle back prematurely, causing Jongup to protest with a whimper. “You can’t drink too much too quickly. You’ll get sick.”
“Why…” Jongup rasped out, looking up tiredly at the man he had once put on a pedestal. This had been the hyung that he had trusted like no other, the one that he had given his everything to despite what his leader had told him. “Zelo and Blackman were right…you don’t care…you’ve never-“ He coughed and his whole body was racked with pain, a pained gasped escaping him. “Never cared,” He finally finished, his eyes closing as he could no longer look at the beautiful face of his once lover.
“I’ve always cared.” Himchan stated firmly, tipping the bottle onto a cloth that he had brought over with him to gently dab it along Jongup’s face, clearing the area around his mouth and eyes. “I still care, but I have no choice. They’ll kill us both if I don’t cooperate.”
“You tricked me.” Jongup accused firmly.
There was a flicker of something in Himchan’s eyes and yet Jongup wasn’t looking and so missed it. Whatever it was, he wouldn’t have understood it anyways.
“I’ll get you out of here.” Himchan repeated before setting the bottle and cloth aside. His long fingers that had been giving nothing but pain recently caressed along Jongup’s cheek in a loving touch. Jongup flinched, but didn’t have it in him to pull away. It was too good. “I love you.”
“Don’t.” Jongup ground out through his teeth. His eyes opened and tears had filled them once again. “Don’t say you love me after what you put me through. That’s not fucking fair.”
Love wasn’t torturing someone. Love wasn’t stringing them up and starving them for days. Love wasn’t tricking the man that you claimed to care for into bed to get to his gang. Love wasn’t…Jongup let out a broken sob that racked his body and only caused him more pain. His body wasn’t capable of such a motion without creating agony that left him breathless.
“Oh…Jonguppie, please…please don’t cry.” Himchan set down the cloth and the water bottle, carefully bringing his younger lover into his arms and holding him close. It was a gentle cradle that he had done all of two times in the past year that he had spent getting close to this man. Once, when Jongup’s mother had passed away and another when Blackman-Himchan never learned his name-had given Jongup the ultimatum of the gang or Himchan(Jongup had chosen Himchan and it took all of three days for Blackman to change his mind and accept Jongup back into the gang as that was his only family-and now Jongup was regretting ever choosing the man over his family.)
“Y-You did this to me…” Jongup managed out in between sobs, trying not to lose it completely even though it was a lost cause. He was captured and had been tortured. Only death would follow. And some sick part of him desired that it be by Himchan’s hand and no other’s. It was a tragic sort of ending to his life that he could deal with. “Jun was right…”
In the year that Himchan had been with Jongup, never had he heard the man use names other than those assigned by the gang. But the moment that Jongup said ‘Jun’, Himchan was pretending that he never heard it. He was not going to cause his lover anymore pain.
“Will you let me bathe you?” Jongup sniffled and glanced up at the man. His attention was then drawn to a small basin in the corner, one that would be adequate enough for a sponging and Jongup wondered if that had been meant to give him a false sense of security.
At that thought, his whole body tensed and he looked up to Himchan sharply. With a rush of adrenaline, he pushed himself away and scrambled all of a meter’s length before Himchan was wrapping his arms around him and pulling the man back to him.
“Sh, sh, baby…calm down. I-I won’t hurt you anymore.”
Jongup struggled for a single moment before he collapsed into Himchans’ harms once again. He was in no state to fight or try to flee even if he thought he could stand on his own two feet. “It’s a trap.” He breathed out in a soft voice, his voice still raspy and his eyes shut tight as though he were doing his best to block all of this out.
Himchan hadn’t expected to hear such words from his lover and so when he did, he stared in shock, though didn’t loosen his grip. The younger man turned his head, looking up through the strands of his sandy blond hair that was oily and dirty, parts of it caked with blood. His lips were dry still, but didn’t look so bad anymore, his eyes were bloodshot and surrounded by large bags as he hadn’t been able to sleep properly this entire week, his cheeks were red and there was a large gash along the curve of his sharp jawbone. Maybe it was because it was his work did Himchan still find Jongup to look so absolutely beautiful.
“It’s not a trap.” He stated firmly enough that he is surprised that not thirty seconds later, Jongup is nodding his head, closing his eyes once again and surrendering completely.
Now that Himchan had Jongup’s cooperation, it wasn’t all that hard to maneuver the younger man over to the basin, sitting him down and beginning a gentle, but meticulous scrubbing. Himchan noticed that Jongup dozed out a good few times before actually succumbing to sleep. This would be more restful than when he was strung up to the ceiling with his feet unable to touch the ground. He was glad to see Jongup resting while he could because Himchan had no idea how much longer they had in here. If someone became suspicious and came to check on them, then Himchan would be screwed.
Twenty minutes later and Jongup woke up. He gasped at the pressing of a rough towel to his wounds on his back, struggling immediately. He thrashed as hard as he could, adrenaline giving him the strength to do so even though his whole body was protesting every movement that he made. Himchan tried to rein him in, but it didn’t seem like he could get to Jongup at that time. The man was screaming, sounding in pure agony and Himchan debated about letting it continue as it made it seem as though he were being tortured. This meant that their time together would be prolonged just a bit more.
But he couldn’t bear the screams anymore.
“Baby, please, sh, my love.” Himchan moved his hands over unmarred skin, trying to calm him down.
It took another three minutes before Jongup completely gave up. He sagged against the elder man and proceeded to sob. He was barely coherent at that current moment and certainly pliable once again. His eyes opened despite the tears and he looked up to the man who was holding him. Himchan had been kneeling on the floor when he dried Jongup, and now the man’s back was across his lap, curled up and naked against his chest. And they found it impossible to look away from one another.
“Please…” Jongup rasped out, coughing when he spoke as it seemed that his throat was far too dry. Himchan reached for the water and gently tipped some back into his throat. “Kill me…” He finished only when able to. Himchan tensed and looked at the man in shock, not having expected to hear such a thing from his lover. Yes, he had said such a thing before, but this time…while Himchan was doing his best to care for the man, promised to get him out and be there for him, he was still asking to be killed. It broke Himchan’s heart.
“I’m not going to kill you. I’m going to get you out of here.” He decided. There was no way that he could let his go on for any longer. He simply couldn’t. He couldn’t when he was the one torturing Jongup and creating such scars on this otherwise perfect body, causing those tears to streak down that beautiful face, causing him to fear life as death seemed more prosperous.
Jongup shook his head but said no more.
“You’ll see…” Himchan said very softly before he pressed his lips to the younger man’s forehead. At the gentle shudder that passed through his body, he pressed his lips to his skin again, except this time to Jongup’s temple.
“Stop…” Jongup pleaded.
Himchan didn’t stop. He moved his lips further down. He brushed his lips against Jongup’s unmarred cheek. He moved them along the side of his jaw that wasn’t marked. A smile is pressed against his skin when he felt Jongup’s fingers tightening in his shirt and pulling him even closer. Obviously, Jongup didn’t want him to stop anymore.
“P-please…” Himchan moved away to look down at the man who met his gaze, a plea written in them that Himchan doesn’t wish to misunderstand.
“What is it, my love?” He whispered, fingers lifting to gently wisp through the strands of hair that he had done his best to clean.
Jongup’s breath stuttered and he faltered for a moment. “L-love…me.” If Jongup was going to die anyways, then he figured that he should have at least one last good thing before his life is ended.
“I have always loved you.” Himchan stated before complying to his lover’s wish, never one to pass up such an opportunity, though not wanting to waste the bit of time that they had together. He gently laid Jongup across the small cot that had been supplied in the room. This room wasn’t there specifically for Jongup and other captives didn’t require constant restraint to break.
Jongup gasped as his back was pressed to the uncomfortable cot. It was such a relief to be stretched out like that. Multiple pops could be heard when his spine was straightened. Looking up at Himchan, Jongup smiled thankfully. If he had to endure this, then he could at least request that it’s pleasant; Himchan never denied him anything. His feet hung off the edge of the squeaky makeshift resting place, his shoulder hitting the wall and it was clear that this wasn’t made for comfort-which was fine with Jongup because it was still more than he had been generously given the past week anyways.
The relief was momentary as he felt a slight twinge of fear when he felt Himchan’s larger body slide over his. It was warm and had once made him feel safe and secure, but not this time. It caused him to feel an ever growing sense of fear that he couldn’t exactly contain, didn’t know if it made sense or was accepted given what Himchan had put him through up until that moment. At the same time, it was…comforting. It was comforting to feel the body that he had learned intimately in the past year touch his in a way that only this man had ever had the experience to.
“What….” Jongup started but found that he could not continue his sentence. But not for a lack of trying; it was Himchan’s lips against his that stopped his speech. A soft muffled protest lasted for a total of ten seconds before he was complying with something that he wanted and needed and so often and then-desperately desired.
Himchan smiled against his lips. He felt triumphant, but at the same time, he was also aware that it was most likely due to exhaustion on Jongup’s part, not necessarily willing compliance or desire. Never had there been a time where he wished that he was proved wrong as much as he was at that moment. Soon, he would be; but for now, he was content to simply be over the man that he loved, touching him in a way that he had feared he’d never be allow to do again, and then tasting him…despite being deprived of food and drink, Jongup still tasted as pleasant and intoxicating as he had learned that first night that they had gone out.
“I had fun, hyung. We’ll have to do that again.” Jongup said with a shy smile. He wasn’t used to going out, nor was he familiar with the ritual of dating a man and being the more submissive one of the two. Then again, he’d only been on a date a handful of times and none of those led to where he was at that current time with this man who was practically visually devouring him.
“Yeah…we will.” At the agreement from Himchan, Jongup turned and was about to input the code to his door before Himchan placed a hand on his hip and pulled him back. Though, it wasn’t just a pull. It was more of a gentle guidance that Jongup could have easily refused, and yet…he didn’t. He looked over his shoulder and slowly turned to be facing the elder man once again.
Nothing was said in the thirty-seven seconds that they stared at one another.
Fourteen seconds later and Jongup found his back against the door that he had just been about to open and a soft gasp passed his lips had been caught by Himchan’s own lips that pressed to his in a gentle caress that quite literally took Jongup’s breath away.
Neither moved for twenty-three seconds. It was just a gentle kiss that was soon interrupted before Himchan could deepen it.
“Fucking kids these days…” A grumbly old man grumbled as he passed them, otherwise ignoring their actions.
Jongup’s eyes widened and he promptly hid his face in Himchan’s neck and laughed quite shyly, though it mixed with whines that expressed his embarrassment. Himchan, on the other hand, simply chuckled and pressed his cheek to the top of Jongup’s head. Eight seconds later, he was attempting to resume the kiss. It earned him a swat to the arm and a playful glare.
“Goodnight, Himchan.” Jongup practically squeaked out as he turned to quickly input his code and stepped into his flat. Before Himchan could get a step forward, the door was shut in his face and he only laughed.
“Goodnight, Jongup…”
A few moments later and Jongup hissed and turned his head away. He lift a hand to touch his lip gently and found blood. He looked up at Himchan accusingly but knew that it was from the dehydration.
“I’m sorry.” Himchan muttered, though didn’t stop. He didn’t want to. They only had a short amount of time and Himchan wanted to give Jongup something to prove that what they had was real, that while he had an agenda, everything he had done and said had been the truth. To continue without damaging Jongup’s lips more and causing him undue pain, he pressed his lips to his clavicle and purposefully dragged his lips across scars and wounds that he had made. One was drawn along the curve of Jongup’s collarbone, crooked and ridged to increase the duration in which the knife was pressed to his skin.
“Stop, stop, stop!” Jongup called out, his head tipped back and his whole body taut. It hurt so much. The skin on his collarbone was so sensitive, so thin and unused to any sort of abuse. The pain of the knife being dragged slowly across his skin took his breath away and there was no time for him to catch it. His fingers curled around the chains that were holding him up and he was sure that the fact he was crying was now obvious. He didn’t know what hurt more, the knife cutting his skin, or the man holding said knife.
“Tell me.” Himchan spoke low. His voice was deep and husky and Jongup liked to pretend that it was because Himchan was doing his best not to let the emotions he was feeling show. He’d soon come to learn that Himchan never had emotions-though that would be his interpretation of it.
“Just stop!” Jongup cried out and tried to move his body away from the knife. There wasn’t any way to, though. His feet barely brushed the floor and his arms were too exhausted from the position to gain any leverage from the chairs. He was stuck and at Himchan’s mercy.
The feel of Himchan’s lips on a mark that he created took Jongup’s breath away, just as intensely as it did when the mark had been made initially. It was interesting how this man could cause the pain that would both emotionally and physically scar Jongup for the rest of his life, yet bring such pleasure from touching it with a gentle kiss that never should be placed there to begin with. He shouldn’t be allowing this but he had no will to fight back. He was going to die and he wanted to enjoy every moment of this.
Himchan’s lips then drifted down to his sternum, all while Himchan parted Jongup’s legs and brought them up to his hips. It caused Jongup to tense and he wanted to fight back, he was sure that he did. Though, the moan and whine of pleasure that he then gave made that seem highly unlikely. He could feel Himchan smirk against his skin as though he were triumphant, as though he had won…and it really seemed like he did.
“Fuck!” Jongup cried out in pain, his eyes shutting tightly and his body arching. When Himchan’s hands had begun to move along his thighs, he hadn’t expected them to move to the back where scars from the flogging were placed. They weren’t even close to being fully healed; they were pained and sore and only just scarred over. It didn’t seem as though Himchan cared, though he didn’t linger for which Jongup was quite grateful for. “Himchan, please…” He breathed out in between the moans and noises of pain that he made.
Himchan only shook his head. He didn’t think that he could manage a verbal response. His hips canted upward just enough to press his clothed erection to Jongup’s bare ass. The feeling of it pressed against his rear in such a way brought back memories.
“A-are you sure, hyungie-“ Jongup swallowed as he dug his nails into the arms that were wrapped around his waist. He was trying to keep in control of his body’s reactions even though it was proving to be quite difficult. The feel of Himchan’s body up against his as he was trapped against the wall was enough to make it hard to breathe, though that could also be the fault of the small room that they were in, it was a glorified closet, really.
“Am I sure about what, Jonguppie? That I want you? Of course I want you.” Himchan huskily whispered as his hands slid down Jongup’s sides, touching intimately while lifting the shirt to brush over hips muscles that the elder man has come to adore more than anything else.
“B-but…h-here?” Jongup looked over his shoulder as best he could to the man in question. Himchan only smirked and nodded his head. “Hyungie…”
“What, Jonguppie...don’t you want me?” Himchan said for amusement. Jongup laughed softly, his cheeks a soft red and he ended up closing his eyes. “That’s what I thought…now try stay quiet for your hyungie.”
“Now, Jongup…I want you to listen to me…we don’t have much time, but I want to make love to you.” Jongup let out a soft whisper and yet Himchan didn’t stop speaking. He instead moved his lips back up to Jongup’s and touched the dry skin lovingly. “I love you so much, baby, and I am so sorry for everything…I will make it up to you one day.” And when Jongup didn’t look like he believed the elder man, Himchan sighed. “Let me love you like I have every day since I met you…give me that much.”
There was a retort on the tip of Jongup’s tongue but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. He couldn’t bring himself to say anything, not with Himchan above him like this and looking so perfect even though he had closed his eyes to try and wish away this whole thing-it wasn’t working, he noticed and so he opened his eyes again, looking up to the flawless face of his once lover, to the man he had given himself to, his heart and his body and his soul… “Take it…you’ve taken everything else from m-me, Himchan…i-it’s only right f-for you to t-take this, t-too.”
Himchan looked at the man before him and was unsure what he was supposed to say. Jongup truly had given him everything, body and soul, a year ago when they had first met and they had first made their relationship official and when they had first consummated their love for one another. What Jongup was doing now was…giving up. The oblivious, foolish and easily timid man who he had loved and protected on many occasions was giving up. It caused tears to fill Himchan’s eyes but he blinked them away.
“Take me.” Jongup breathed as he looked up at the elder man who was obviously aroused and intended to take this further. They were laying on Jongup’s bed in his flat where it was otherwise silent. There was the hum of the air-con and the sounds of the city below, but to the two of them, only they existed in this world.
“Jongup, baby…are you sure?” Himchan said even as he pushed himself up and rid himself of his jacket and his shirt. They had stumbled into the apartment during a heated kiss and they hadn’t even bothered to take off their shoes before they ended up in the bedroom. And then there they were, Jongup’s legs spread and bent with Himchan’s larger body between them and above his, their eyes locked after a kiss that had left them breathless.
“I love you.” Was Jongup’s reply, proving to Himchan that he was indeed sure about this because he knew himself well enough to know that the emotion Himchan fueled within him was intense enough to warrant such an act. It was more than enough to make what they were intending to do better than one might otherwise think.
The look of surprise on Himchan’s face caused Jongup to flush and glance away and in the time that Jongup was looking away, Himchan frowned because he had regrets. This relationship with Jongup wasn’t supposed to progress so quickly and so intensely. While he had feelings for Jongup and they had been growing for a while, he hadn’t been willing to speak of them because of the whole situation. Jongup wouldn’t understand. The elder breathed out softly and lowered his lips to the strong jawline that outlined the perfect, beautiful face of his soon-to-be-lover.
“I love you, too.”
Jongup grinned and it would light up a stadium. Himchan knew that he was both going to regret this and wasn’t making a mistake.
Time passed slowly from then on. Or it passed too quickly. Jongup was enjoying every single caress from Himchan, every loving touch and every light kiss that was pressed to the unmarred parts of his skin and even to the scars that Himchan had created. Every mark was given to him by the man who was currently above him and was currently intending to love him in a way that Jongup had thought they’d never do again. It was both incredible and frightening how much Jongup still trusted this man and wanted him to touch him in such a way when he had sworn to himself from the first moment he had discovered Himchan’s betrayal that he would never allow this man to touch him again.
That obviously didn’t last long.
When Himchan’s hands moved back down over Jongup’s thighs and touched near his rear, sliding along the crevice a few times, Jongup gasped and looked up at the man in shock. “Himchan, I-I-“
It was maybe the second day, or that’s what Jongup assumed. He had fallen asleep after the initial meeting with Himchan and had fallen asleep in that time. Jongup didn’t think that he had been in this place for long. It was still quite painful to be held up, but he wasn’t as panicked as he had been when he first came to consciousness.
His eyes were still covered and he knew he was alone in the room as he couldn’t hear Himchan. And Jongup would like to think that he’d been with Himchan long enough to know whether or not he was in the room. The man never sat still and never breathed quietly. Those were things that he had taken comfort in many times over the course of their relationship. And even when they slept together, Himchan never lay still unless Jongup was in his arms and when that was the case, he never breathed lightly. It was a habit.
After a while of being awake and boredom had overcome him, Jongup felt a familiar pressure in his lower abdomen. His whole body tensed and he didn’t know if he had felt such fear and shame before in his life-and this was before he knew the plans that had been made in his regard. He had eaten a bit before the raid had occurred and the time that his body took to…digest the food must have been delayed while he had been sedated and when he’d been filled with adrenaline.
“God, no…not now.”
It was another thirty minutes and he was no longer able to control his bodily functions. Never had he been so disgusted with himself before in his life. This was probably another shame tactic to get him to speak of his gang and he…he couldn’t do that.
Silently, he cried softly. He didn’t want to do this or be in this position. And he knew that he wouldn’t be rescued. Being down a member meant it was less likely that they’d go to the home turf of their rival gang. Jongup understood, but that didn’t make it any easier to accept.
“I washed you.” Himchan stated with a gentle smile. Jongup’s eyes widened and his cheeks flushed and more tears filled his eyes as though he hadn’t cried enough since his capture. Jongup closed his eyes and tried to turn away from Himchan, which is when the elder’s hand came up to cup his unmarred cheek and brought it back to him. “I love you.”
Jongup was in denial for all of three seconds before Himchan was kissing him again and taking his breath away just as every kiss they had ever shared had done. He no longer had the energy to refuse Himchan, though it wasn’t as though he were truly refusing or fighting against him, he simply felt…compelled to give in. Whether this was their last time to be together or not, Jongup didn’t have it in him to decide what he wanted one way or the other. Besides, Himchan was amazing as convincing him to do whatever he wanted. And Jongup was amazing at giving in to Himchan’s every whim.
It wasn’t long before Himchan’s finger was prodding at his entrance and the substance that made it easier for entrance shocked Jongup because he had no idea when Himchan had had time to grab such a thing and how that was even possible. He swallowed and ignored that fact because he didn’t want to jinx it and he didn’t want to ruin what little time they had together.
The preparation was the same that it had always been. Himchan kissed over his neck and stroked his side while slowly pressing a finger into him, then another and another and it wasn’t long before Jongup was writhing beneath him. Sweat broke out on his skin and he was panting heavily. Jongup felt an intense amount of desire at this point and he didn’t think that he could breathe evenly even if he tried. Himchan’s calloused fingers always felt so teasing inside of him and his body above his was so warm even though he was still clothed and even though they were in a cell where he had been tortured and where his blood littered the ground, he felt…okay. Given all that he had endured the past week, he was honestly feeling okay at that moment and it was nice. It was nice not to have to fear what Himchan was going to do next, fear whether or not he was even affected by doing what he did. All of this was simply…nice and okay.
“Please…” Jongup finally muttered, the first coherent and audible word since Himchan started to prepare him. It was such a nice feeling to be filled even with just his fingers for now. It was so nice to have Himchan kissing him and stoking him gently after all that the man had done to him and it was so nice to feel so nice.
“You’re sure?” Jongup opened his eyes again finally and smiled breathlessly up at the man he knew that he could never fall out of love with. And he nodded. “Good.”
When Himchan’s body left his, that fear returned because for all Himchan knew, it was a ploy. It was to get him comfortable and pliable before implementing some other sort of torture. Himchan saw this look on his lover’s face and he smiled lovingly.
“I’m just undressing.” Himchan’s definition of undressing was taking off his shirt and setting it over on the table with the torture devices so it wouldn’t get dirty from the floor. His pants came undone, but weren’t removed. And when he cock was pulled into view, Jongup pushed himself up a bit, looking at it in the same eager way that he had looked at it for the past year. It was such a delectable treat that he never had in his mouth enough; that was only because Himchan took more pleasure from pleasuring him than receiving pleasure himself.
“Hurry, hyungie…” Jongup said as he lay back on the bed, unable to keep himself up any longer due to muscle weakness from his restraints.
Himchan stared over his naked lover, easily ignoring the cuts and welts and everything else that he had been the cause of and still saw all the beauty underneath them. “Of course…” Himchan said huskily before moving back to his spread lover’s legs, situating himself between them and smirking when Jongup’s legs twitched when he tried to move them into a better position that would give Himchan the right angle of entry. There was something erotic about having Jongup at his mercy, unable to do anything but accept whatever he was given. At least this time, Himchan intended to please his lover. Himchan opened his mouth to speak, but Jongup beat him to it.
“I’m ready.” The younger one breathed out in that same needy tone that he had spoken with for months now, when he had gotten over his shyness and came to terms with the fact that it was okay to want to have sex multiple times a day.
“Fucking hell, Jongup.” Himchan moaned and tilted his head back. Said man was sitting in the front seat of his car, the seat pushed away from the steering wheel to give Jongup more room. The younger man was sitting on his lap, both of them mostly dressed but for Jongup’s bottoms that had been removed to make this possible. “So…tight.” Himchan grunted out as his lover rocked his hips skillfully as though he had been doing this for ages, or been paid to. Either way, it was fucking fantastic.
Jongup smirked, though there was a small tinge of embarrassment on his cheeks that blended in with the flush of arousal. “S-sorry…hyungie.” The man breathed out as he rolled his hips with such perfection that he was hitting his prostate every single time and taking his own breath away. “I just…w-wanted you..” His tone was unlike anything Himchan had ever heard before and it was incredible just how needy he sounded despite already having a cock filling him and in control of the movements.
Himchan had his hands grasping his lover’s hips, not guiding, but simply holding because it was so hard not to when it felt so incredible, felt so good that he didn’t know what he was supposed to do with himself, how he was supposed to deal with the pleasure and eroticism of doing it in a car in the parking garage of the younger man’s building after a date that Himchan had assumed would end innocently enough. “This is so-oh, fuck!” It was an orgasm that had no warning, no hints or signs or anything that would let either of them know that it was approaching. The small shift of Jongup’s hips had created just the right kind of stimulation that it was enough to have him shouting in the confines of the heated vehicle.
Jongup smirked but didn’t stop.
Himchan pressed his cock to the stretched entrance of his lover, looking down at him and never breaking eye contact because he doesn’t want to. What they were doing was risky and could cost them both their lives and he wanted to take advantage of what they had together. He wanted to make the most of it and he intended to do just that. So as he began to press into the man below him, he gasped out softly, but otherwise stayed quiet because he would much rather hear the noises that Jongup made.
He screamed. And for the first time since being here, it was because of the pleasure. It was absolute pleasure that had done this, such intense pleasure that his whole body felt on edge, tensed. He could hear the blood rushing in his ears, he could feel his heart pounding in his chest and he would wrap his arms around Himchan to pull them closer if he didn’t feel so weak. So he settled with writhing just a bit as that was all he could manage.
Himchan didn’t cease moving until he was buried within the tight channel of his lover and it was absolutely incredible. It was perfect. He was tight and warm and everything that Himchan had remembered him being and he felt so lucky that he was the one who knew this fact, that he had the opportunity to do this again. He truly was a lucky man and yet he knew it wasn’t going to last long.
“Baby, I-I…” Himchan started, though Jongup’s body instinctively clenched and it left him mindless for a moment. “I d-don’t have much t-time…” He explained as gently as he could. Carefully placing his hands on Jongup’s body, he still never took his gaze from him, not as he was whimpering with his eyes constantly closing and opening from the pleasure he was so obviously feeling even without much foreplay leading up to this.
“Then…” Jongup managed and it was a couple moments before he could manage anything else. His hands were clenching around nothing and his toes were curling. After all the pain that he had endured, this pleasure was far more than he could handle. “Move.”
The elder man didn’t need any more encouragement. Anytime that Jongup made a demand such as that, Himchan knew that he could listen and trust him enough to know that this was the right decision. He drew his hips back in a slow motion, one that was both teasing and pleasing. It was intense. Just before he pushed back in, he looked down over his naked lover and smiled gently, even though he was feeling an incredible amount of pleasure, he didn’t want there to be any doubt behind his actions at that moment. “I love you.”
Jongup didn’t have the chance to respond before Himchan was driving back into him in just the right angle, with just the right force and with the right speed that he was screaming once again. Thankfully, Himchan knew that it was from pleasure and so didn’t stop there.
He had no intention of stopping because stopping took from the short time that they had together. Stopping meant that he was less likely to finish what he had started and he doesn’t want to leave Jongup hanging, doesn’t want the man to question anything if they were suddenly forced to stop for whatever reason. While he hoped that didn’t happen, he wasn’t going to take any chances. His hips drove in with such force that there was the sound of skin slapping against skin and Jongup’s wounds on the back of his legs would be more irritated by the time that they were done with this, but neither cared.
The pain was easily overridden with the pleasure, which was good for the both of them. Himchan could express his love and Jongup…Jongup could enjoy and experience something other than pain.
It was a short coupling, all in all. Himchan had been feeling desire for Jongup since the moment that he was captured and it had only been quelled during the time that he had been torturing his love for information. Jongup was convinced that he was going to die and so wanted to enjoy this sweet break from pain and fear. It wasn’t long before Jongup was panting out just how close he was, or how good It felt or that he wanted Himchan to move harder, faster, because he was right there and he needed just a little bit more. Himchan gave him everything. There was no one command or plea from the younger man that Himchan didn’t obey. That was just the sort of lover he was.
Jongup’s arm twitched and he tried to move his hand to reach in between their bodies and touch himself. He needed just that extra bit of stimulation and he needed it soon. He needed the pleasure that would be complete if only he could reach himself. But his arm was still too weak. Thankfully, Himchan noticed.
“I got you.” Himchan whispered into Jongup’s ear, his cheek pressed against the unmarred cheek of his lover’s. He released the side that he had been holding and wrapped his calloused hand around Jongup’s length that was weeping with its arousal. At the single touch, Jongup is spasming and Himchan knew he was close. With a couple sure, talented, experienced and skilled strokes of his hand-that was most of all familiar-Jongup was releasing between them, crying out his lover’s name to the high heavens and the sound itself was enough to cause a panic within Himchan, but he still did not stop.
At Jongup’s release, Himchan smiled and looked down at him as though he had put the stars in the sky. The sight of the man in the throes of pleasure, his eyes hooded and unseeing, cheeks flushed and lips parted-beautiful, Himchan thought to himself. It wasn’t long before the contractions of the already tight channel that Himchan was inside of was enough to bring him to his release. It was a few more thrusts, just a couple more moments of concentrating on his lover beneath him, thinking only of him and the pleasure that he derives from his body that set off his orgasm-and what an orgasm it was.
His whole body snapped taut and his hips stilled while his release filled the man below him. His hands gripped Jongup tighter and, while he could hear the whimper of pain that Jongup gave, he couldn’t release until the last tremor passed. And even then…he nearly collapsed down onto the man he had just made love to and he felt perfect.
A goofy smile adorned his mouth like it always did after they made love and while Jongup usually took amusement from such a sight, it was hard to feel amused when he was brought back to reality. This would be the time that they roll over and curl up with one another, when they hold one another throughout the night and wake up in the middle of the night to do it again, and then again in the morning before they had breakfast together and went their separate ways until lunch-because they always met up for lunch. Himchan would pick Jongup up and they’d go out to eat, laugh and talk and be merry. Then they’d go back to their work-their gangs-and not see each other again until they were able to escape home once more. And after a dinner they would share in front of the TV-usually take out-then they’d make it to the bedroom and the cycle would start all over again.
Jongup’s head rest on Himchan’s shoulder, his body curled up against the man that lay on his back, looking up at the ceiling with a content smile on his face. Jongup was smiling as well, only into the skin of the man he had just been made love to by. There was still come inside and on his body, a good amount as that happens when you have a sex drive like Jongup does, one round always enough, but never truly satisfying.
“I love you, hyungie.” Jongup said softly, always the one to say it first and yet never sharp enough to question why that was the case.
“I love you, too.” Himchan said, turning to kiss his lover’s forehead. He had learned to say it back without any hesitance, without fear of being seen through or without needing to hate himself every time he heard it from Jongup.
“My friend started asking about you again…” Jongup kept his friends name’s hidden. He always did. It wasn’t safe to tell anyone, not even the love of his life. “He wants to meet you, but…”
“I know.” Himchan said. It’d been made clear a while ago that his friends didn’t like Himchan even though they never met him. None of them made it clear why, but they did have a good reason to even if Himchan was the only one aware of it. “That’s okay. There’s no rush, baby.” Himchan reassured his lover before grabbing the blanket that had been kicked to the foot of the bed and covered them up. “Let’s get some sleep since I have to head into work early tomorrow.”
There was no argument on Jongup’s part. He simply smiled and kissed Himchan’s chest, just by his heart, and snuggled against him more to fall asleep, never needing long to do that when he was with Himchan.
“Himchan…” Jongup breathed out, that fear returning and Himchan knew that this wasn’t going to last, but that didn’t make it any easier for him.
“I know…but trust me.” He said as he slowly pushed himself up. They couldn’t cuddle like he would want to, they couldn’t linger with gentle kisses and light touches to help one another enjoy and prolong their post-orgasmic bliss. Himchan had to move quickly if he was going to get him cleaned up once more and back into the restraints.
Pulling out created a crude squelch and Jongup winced but didn’t say anything about it, simply whimpered at the loss. He didn’t want Himchan to go, but he figured that that was the end and soon, his life would be at the end as well. It was nice while it lasted.
Himchan had just rose from the cot, purposefully not looking to the weakened man he had tortured and then made love to, and was in the process of tucking himself away before the door to the cell opened with a loud and bone-rattling screech and two separate men stood in the doorway.
Final Part
Chapter contains explicit content like the last, but sexual content as well.
Italicized parts are flashbacks.
First part
Jongup knew that he should have pulled away from the kiss the moment that Himchan’s lips touched his, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. It was so wonderful to be touched in such a way, so gentle and loving compared to all the pain that he had endured during the past couple days or however long that he had been held captive. This was the Himchan that he remembered. The soft but firm lips that touched his, guiding him into a kiss that took his breath away and gave reason for those tears to fall down his cheeks. The emotion that Himchan could make Jongup feel was almost always too much and he didn’t know why he had thought that he could tell his heart to no longer love this man even though he’d been beaten and tortured mercilessly at his hand.
“I’ll find a way to get you out of here.” Himchan muttered against his lover’s lips. Jongup didn’t believe him but he didn’t vocalize that. Right then, he was working on not losing it and sobbing over the man who was doing everything he could to hold him up. Jongup, even while being malnourished from the past week, had a lot of muscle and weighed a good amount when he was completely uncooperative though obviously not by choice. Himchan didn’t even want Jongup to try and stand; he wouldn’t do that to him. “Here.” Himchan carefully dragged Jongup over to the wall where he lowered him down to sit.
After placing his lover on the ground, Himchan walked over to the corner where a small table lay and an array of torturing devices lay. It was clear that he was going easy on Jongup given the wide variety and the few that had actually been used. The elder man returned with a water bottle that he carefully tipped into Jongup’s mouth. The man drank eagerly.
“That’s it, my love.” Himchan encouraged and yet still pulled the bottle back prematurely, causing Jongup to protest with a whimper. “You can’t drink too much too quickly. You’ll get sick.”
“Why…” Jongup rasped out, looking up tiredly at the man he had once put on a pedestal. This had been the hyung that he had trusted like no other, the one that he had given his everything to despite what his leader had told him. “Zelo and Blackman were right…you don’t care…you’ve never-“ He coughed and his whole body was racked with pain, a pained gasped escaping him. “Never cared,” He finally finished, his eyes closing as he could no longer look at the beautiful face of his once lover.
“I’ve always cared.” Himchan stated firmly, tipping the bottle onto a cloth that he had brought over with him to gently dab it along Jongup’s face, clearing the area around his mouth and eyes. “I still care, but I have no choice. They’ll kill us both if I don’t cooperate.”
“You tricked me.” Jongup accused firmly.
There was a flicker of something in Himchan’s eyes and yet Jongup wasn’t looking and so missed it. Whatever it was, he wouldn’t have understood it anyways.
“I’ll get you out of here.” Himchan repeated before setting the bottle and cloth aside. His long fingers that had been giving nothing but pain recently caressed along Jongup’s cheek in a loving touch. Jongup flinched, but didn’t have it in him to pull away. It was too good. “I love you.”
“Don’t.” Jongup ground out through his teeth. His eyes opened and tears had filled them once again. “Don’t say you love me after what you put me through. That’s not fucking fair.”
Love wasn’t torturing someone. Love wasn’t stringing them up and starving them for days. Love wasn’t tricking the man that you claimed to care for into bed to get to his gang. Love wasn’t…Jongup let out a broken sob that racked his body and only caused him more pain. His body wasn’t capable of such a motion without creating agony that left him breathless.
“Oh…Jonguppie, please…please don’t cry.” Himchan set down the cloth and the water bottle, carefully bringing his younger lover into his arms and holding him close. It was a gentle cradle that he had done all of two times in the past year that he had spent getting close to this man. Once, when Jongup’s mother had passed away and another when Blackman-Himchan never learned his name-had given Jongup the ultimatum of the gang or Himchan(Jongup had chosen Himchan and it took all of three days for Blackman to change his mind and accept Jongup back into the gang as that was his only family-and now Jongup was regretting ever choosing the man over his family.)
“Y-You did this to me…” Jongup managed out in between sobs, trying not to lose it completely even though it was a lost cause. He was captured and had been tortured. Only death would follow. And some sick part of him desired that it be by Himchan’s hand and no other’s. It was a tragic sort of ending to his life that he could deal with. “Jun was right…”
In the year that Himchan had been with Jongup, never had he heard the man use names other than those assigned by the gang. But the moment that Jongup said ‘Jun’, Himchan was pretending that he never heard it. He was not going to cause his lover anymore pain.
“Will you let me bathe you?” Jongup sniffled and glanced up at the man. His attention was then drawn to a small basin in the corner, one that would be adequate enough for a sponging and Jongup wondered if that had been meant to give him a false sense of security.
At that thought, his whole body tensed and he looked up to Himchan sharply. With a rush of adrenaline, he pushed himself away and scrambled all of a meter’s length before Himchan was wrapping his arms around him and pulling the man back to him.
“Sh, sh, baby…calm down. I-I won’t hurt you anymore.”
Jongup struggled for a single moment before he collapsed into Himchans’ harms once again. He was in no state to fight or try to flee even if he thought he could stand on his own two feet. “It’s a trap.” He breathed out in a soft voice, his voice still raspy and his eyes shut tight as though he were doing his best to block all of this out.
Himchan hadn’t expected to hear such words from his lover and so when he did, he stared in shock, though didn’t loosen his grip. The younger man turned his head, looking up through the strands of his sandy blond hair that was oily and dirty, parts of it caked with blood. His lips were dry still, but didn’t look so bad anymore, his eyes were bloodshot and surrounded by large bags as he hadn’t been able to sleep properly this entire week, his cheeks were red and there was a large gash along the curve of his sharp jawbone. Maybe it was because it was his work did Himchan still find Jongup to look so absolutely beautiful.
“It’s not a trap.” He stated firmly enough that he is surprised that not thirty seconds later, Jongup is nodding his head, closing his eyes once again and surrendering completely.
Now that Himchan had Jongup’s cooperation, it wasn’t all that hard to maneuver the younger man over to the basin, sitting him down and beginning a gentle, but meticulous scrubbing. Himchan noticed that Jongup dozed out a good few times before actually succumbing to sleep. This would be more restful than when he was strung up to the ceiling with his feet unable to touch the ground. He was glad to see Jongup resting while he could because Himchan had no idea how much longer they had in here. If someone became suspicious and came to check on them, then Himchan would be screwed.
Twenty minutes later and Jongup woke up. He gasped at the pressing of a rough towel to his wounds on his back, struggling immediately. He thrashed as hard as he could, adrenaline giving him the strength to do so even though his whole body was protesting every movement that he made. Himchan tried to rein him in, but it didn’t seem like he could get to Jongup at that time. The man was screaming, sounding in pure agony and Himchan debated about letting it continue as it made it seem as though he were being tortured. This meant that their time together would be prolonged just a bit more.
But he couldn’t bear the screams anymore.
“Baby, please, sh, my love.” Himchan moved his hands over unmarred skin, trying to calm him down.
It took another three minutes before Jongup completely gave up. He sagged against the elder man and proceeded to sob. He was barely coherent at that current moment and certainly pliable once again. His eyes opened despite the tears and he looked up to the man who was holding him. Himchan had been kneeling on the floor when he dried Jongup, and now the man’s back was across his lap, curled up and naked against his chest. And they found it impossible to look away from one another.
“Please…” Jongup rasped out, coughing when he spoke as it seemed that his throat was far too dry. Himchan reached for the water and gently tipped some back into his throat. “Kill me…” He finished only when able to. Himchan tensed and looked at the man in shock, not having expected to hear such a thing from his lover. Yes, he had said such a thing before, but this time…while Himchan was doing his best to care for the man, promised to get him out and be there for him, he was still asking to be killed. It broke Himchan’s heart.
“I’m not going to kill you. I’m going to get you out of here.” He decided. There was no way that he could let his go on for any longer. He simply couldn’t. He couldn’t when he was the one torturing Jongup and creating such scars on this otherwise perfect body, causing those tears to streak down that beautiful face, causing him to fear life as death seemed more prosperous.
Jongup shook his head but said no more.
“You’ll see…” Himchan said very softly before he pressed his lips to the younger man’s forehead. At the gentle shudder that passed through his body, he pressed his lips to his skin again, except this time to Jongup’s temple.
“Stop…” Jongup pleaded.
Himchan didn’t stop. He moved his lips further down. He brushed his lips against Jongup’s unmarred cheek. He moved them along the side of his jaw that wasn’t marked. A smile is pressed against his skin when he felt Jongup’s fingers tightening in his shirt and pulling him even closer. Obviously, Jongup didn’t want him to stop anymore.
“P-please…” Himchan moved away to look down at the man who met his gaze, a plea written in them that Himchan doesn’t wish to misunderstand.
“What is it, my love?” He whispered, fingers lifting to gently wisp through the strands of hair that he had done his best to clean.
Jongup’s breath stuttered and he faltered for a moment. “L-love…me.” If Jongup was going to die anyways, then he figured that he should have at least one last good thing before his life is ended.
“I have always loved you.” Himchan stated before complying to his lover’s wish, never one to pass up such an opportunity, though not wanting to waste the bit of time that they had together. He gently laid Jongup across the small cot that had been supplied in the room. This room wasn’t there specifically for Jongup and other captives didn’t require constant restraint to break.
Jongup gasped as his back was pressed to the uncomfortable cot. It was such a relief to be stretched out like that. Multiple pops could be heard when his spine was straightened. Looking up at Himchan, Jongup smiled thankfully. If he had to endure this, then he could at least request that it’s pleasant; Himchan never denied him anything. His feet hung off the edge of the squeaky makeshift resting place, his shoulder hitting the wall and it was clear that this wasn’t made for comfort-which was fine with Jongup because it was still more than he had been generously given the past week anyways.
The relief was momentary as he felt a slight twinge of fear when he felt Himchan’s larger body slide over his. It was warm and had once made him feel safe and secure, but not this time. It caused him to feel an ever growing sense of fear that he couldn’t exactly contain, didn’t know if it made sense or was accepted given what Himchan had put him through up until that moment. At the same time, it was…comforting. It was comforting to feel the body that he had learned intimately in the past year touch his in a way that only this man had ever had the experience to.
“What….” Jongup started but found that he could not continue his sentence. But not for a lack of trying; it was Himchan’s lips against his that stopped his speech. A soft muffled protest lasted for a total of ten seconds before he was complying with something that he wanted and needed and so often and then-desperately desired.
Himchan smiled against his lips. He felt triumphant, but at the same time, he was also aware that it was most likely due to exhaustion on Jongup’s part, not necessarily willing compliance or desire. Never had there been a time where he wished that he was proved wrong as much as he was at that moment. Soon, he would be; but for now, he was content to simply be over the man that he loved, touching him in a way that he had feared he’d never be allow to do again, and then tasting him…despite being deprived of food and drink, Jongup still tasted as pleasant and intoxicating as he had learned that first night that they had gone out.
“I had fun, hyung. We’ll have to do that again.” Jongup said with a shy smile. He wasn’t used to going out, nor was he familiar with the ritual of dating a man and being the more submissive one of the two. Then again, he’d only been on a date a handful of times and none of those led to where he was at that current time with this man who was practically visually devouring him.
“Yeah…we will.” At the agreement from Himchan, Jongup turned and was about to input the code to his door before Himchan placed a hand on his hip and pulled him back. Though, it wasn’t just a pull. It was more of a gentle guidance that Jongup could have easily refused, and yet…he didn’t. He looked over his shoulder and slowly turned to be facing the elder man once again.
Nothing was said in the thirty-seven seconds that they stared at one another.
Fourteen seconds later and Jongup found his back against the door that he had just been about to open and a soft gasp passed his lips had been caught by Himchan’s own lips that pressed to his in a gentle caress that quite literally took Jongup’s breath away.
Neither moved for twenty-three seconds. It was just a gentle kiss that was soon interrupted before Himchan could deepen it.
“Fucking kids these days…” A grumbly old man grumbled as he passed them, otherwise ignoring their actions.
Jongup’s eyes widened and he promptly hid his face in Himchan’s neck and laughed quite shyly, though it mixed with whines that expressed his embarrassment. Himchan, on the other hand, simply chuckled and pressed his cheek to the top of Jongup’s head. Eight seconds later, he was attempting to resume the kiss. It earned him a swat to the arm and a playful glare.
“Goodnight, Himchan.” Jongup practically squeaked out as he turned to quickly input his code and stepped into his flat. Before Himchan could get a step forward, the door was shut in his face and he only laughed.
“Goodnight, Jongup…”
A few moments later and Jongup hissed and turned his head away. He lift a hand to touch his lip gently and found blood. He looked up at Himchan accusingly but knew that it was from the dehydration.
“I’m sorry.” Himchan muttered, though didn’t stop. He didn’t want to. They only had a short amount of time and Himchan wanted to give Jongup something to prove that what they had was real, that while he had an agenda, everything he had done and said had been the truth. To continue without damaging Jongup’s lips more and causing him undue pain, he pressed his lips to his clavicle and purposefully dragged his lips across scars and wounds that he had made. One was drawn along the curve of Jongup’s collarbone, crooked and ridged to increase the duration in which the knife was pressed to his skin.
“Stop, stop, stop!” Jongup called out, his head tipped back and his whole body taut. It hurt so much. The skin on his collarbone was so sensitive, so thin and unused to any sort of abuse. The pain of the knife being dragged slowly across his skin took his breath away and there was no time for him to catch it. His fingers curled around the chains that were holding him up and he was sure that the fact he was crying was now obvious. He didn’t know what hurt more, the knife cutting his skin, or the man holding said knife.
“Tell me.” Himchan spoke low. His voice was deep and husky and Jongup liked to pretend that it was because Himchan was doing his best not to let the emotions he was feeling show. He’d soon come to learn that Himchan never had emotions-though that would be his interpretation of it.
“Just stop!” Jongup cried out and tried to move his body away from the knife. There wasn’t any way to, though. His feet barely brushed the floor and his arms were too exhausted from the position to gain any leverage from the chairs. He was stuck and at Himchan’s mercy.
The feel of Himchan’s lips on a mark that he created took Jongup’s breath away, just as intensely as it did when the mark had been made initially. It was interesting how this man could cause the pain that would both emotionally and physically scar Jongup for the rest of his life, yet bring such pleasure from touching it with a gentle kiss that never should be placed there to begin with. He shouldn’t be allowing this but he had no will to fight back. He was going to die and he wanted to enjoy every moment of this.
Himchan’s lips then drifted down to his sternum, all while Himchan parted Jongup’s legs and brought them up to his hips. It caused Jongup to tense and he wanted to fight back, he was sure that he did. Though, the moan and whine of pleasure that he then gave made that seem highly unlikely. He could feel Himchan smirk against his skin as though he were triumphant, as though he had won…and it really seemed like he did.
“Fuck!” Jongup cried out in pain, his eyes shutting tightly and his body arching. When Himchan’s hands had begun to move along his thighs, he hadn’t expected them to move to the back where scars from the flogging were placed. They weren’t even close to being fully healed; they were pained and sore and only just scarred over. It didn’t seem as though Himchan cared, though he didn’t linger for which Jongup was quite grateful for. “Himchan, please…” He breathed out in between the moans and noises of pain that he made.
Himchan only shook his head. He didn’t think that he could manage a verbal response. His hips canted upward just enough to press his clothed erection to Jongup’s bare ass. The feeling of it pressed against his rear in such a way brought back memories.
“A-are you sure, hyungie-“ Jongup swallowed as he dug his nails into the arms that were wrapped around his waist. He was trying to keep in control of his body’s reactions even though it was proving to be quite difficult. The feel of Himchan’s body up against his as he was trapped against the wall was enough to make it hard to breathe, though that could also be the fault of the small room that they were in, it was a glorified closet, really.
“Am I sure about what, Jonguppie? That I want you? Of course I want you.” Himchan huskily whispered as his hands slid down Jongup’s sides, touching intimately while lifting the shirt to brush over hips muscles that the elder man has come to adore more than anything else.
“B-but…h-here?” Jongup looked over his shoulder as best he could to the man in question. Himchan only smirked and nodded his head. “Hyungie…”
“What, Jonguppie...don’t you want me?” Himchan said for amusement. Jongup laughed softly, his cheeks a soft red and he ended up closing his eyes. “That’s what I thought…now try stay quiet for your hyungie.”
“Now, Jongup…I want you to listen to me…we don’t have much time, but I want to make love to you.” Jongup let out a soft whisper and yet Himchan didn’t stop speaking. He instead moved his lips back up to Jongup’s and touched the dry skin lovingly. “I love you so much, baby, and I am so sorry for everything…I will make it up to you one day.” And when Jongup didn’t look like he believed the elder man, Himchan sighed. “Let me love you like I have every day since I met you…give me that much.”
There was a retort on the tip of Jongup’s tongue but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. He couldn’t bring himself to say anything, not with Himchan above him like this and looking so perfect even though he had closed his eyes to try and wish away this whole thing-it wasn’t working, he noticed and so he opened his eyes again, looking up to the flawless face of his once lover, to the man he had given himself to, his heart and his body and his soul… “Take it…you’ve taken everything else from m-me, Himchan…i-it’s only right f-for you to t-take this, t-too.”
Himchan looked at the man before him and was unsure what he was supposed to say. Jongup truly had given him everything, body and soul, a year ago when they had first met and they had first made their relationship official and when they had first consummated their love for one another. What Jongup was doing now was…giving up. The oblivious, foolish and easily timid man who he had loved and protected on many occasions was giving up. It caused tears to fill Himchan’s eyes but he blinked them away.
“Take me.” Jongup breathed as he looked up at the elder man who was obviously aroused and intended to take this further. They were laying on Jongup’s bed in his flat where it was otherwise silent. There was the hum of the air-con and the sounds of the city below, but to the two of them, only they existed in this world.
“Jongup, baby…are you sure?” Himchan said even as he pushed himself up and rid himself of his jacket and his shirt. They had stumbled into the apartment during a heated kiss and they hadn’t even bothered to take off their shoes before they ended up in the bedroom. And then there they were, Jongup’s legs spread and bent with Himchan’s larger body between them and above his, their eyes locked after a kiss that had left them breathless.
“I love you.” Was Jongup’s reply, proving to Himchan that he was indeed sure about this because he knew himself well enough to know that the emotion Himchan fueled within him was intense enough to warrant such an act. It was more than enough to make what they were intending to do better than one might otherwise think.
The look of surprise on Himchan’s face caused Jongup to flush and glance away and in the time that Jongup was looking away, Himchan frowned because he had regrets. This relationship with Jongup wasn’t supposed to progress so quickly and so intensely. While he had feelings for Jongup and they had been growing for a while, he hadn’t been willing to speak of them because of the whole situation. Jongup wouldn’t understand. The elder breathed out softly and lowered his lips to the strong jawline that outlined the perfect, beautiful face of his soon-to-be-lover.
“I love you, too.”
Jongup grinned and it would light up a stadium. Himchan knew that he was both going to regret this and wasn’t making a mistake.
Time passed slowly from then on. Or it passed too quickly. Jongup was enjoying every single caress from Himchan, every loving touch and every light kiss that was pressed to the unmarred parts of his skin and even to the scars that Himchan had created. Every mark was given to him by the man who was currently above him and was currently intending to love him in a way that Jongup had thought they’d never do again. It was both incredible and frightening how much Jongup still trusted this man and wanted him to touch him in such a way when he had sworn to himself from the first moment he had discovered Himchan’s betrayal that he would never allow this man to touch him again.
That obviously didn’t last long.
When Himchan’s hands moved back down over Jongup’s thighs and touched near his rear, sliding along the crevice a few times, Jongup gasped and looked up at the man in shock. “Himchan, I-I-“
It was maybe the second day, or that’s what Jongup assumed. He had fallen asleep after the initial meeting with Himchan and had fallen asleep in that time. Jongup didn’t think that he had been in this place for long. It was still quite painful to be held up, but he wasn’t as panicked as he had been when he first came to consciousness.
His eyes were still covered and he knew he was alone in the room as he couldn’t hear Himchan. And Jongup would like to think that he’d been with Himchan long enough to know whether or not he was in the room. The man never sat still and never breathed quietly. Those were things that he had taken comfort in many times over the course of their relationship. And even when they slept together, Himchan never lay still unless Jongup was in his arms and when that was the case, he never breathed lightly. It was a habit.
After a while of being awake and boredom had overcome him, Jongup felt a familiar pressure in his lower abdomen. His whole body tensed and he didn’t know if he had felt such fear and shame before in his life-and this was before he knew the plans that had been made in his regard. He had eaten a bit before the raid had occurred and the time that his body took to…digest the food must have been delayed while he had been sedated and when he’d been filled with adrenaline.
“God, no…not now.”
It was another thirty minutes and he was no longer able to control his bodily functions. Never had he been so disgusted with himself before in his life. This was probably another shame tactic to get him to speak of his gang and he…he couldn’t do that.
Silently, he cried softly. He didn’t want to do this or be in this position. And he knew that he wouldn’t be rescued. Being down a member meant it was less likely that they’d go to the home turf of their rival gang. Jongup understood, but that didn’t make it any easier to accept.
“I washed you.” Himchan stated with a gentle smile. Jongup’s eyes widened and his cheeks flushed and more tears filled his eyes as though he hadn’t cried enough since his capture. Jongup closed his eyes and tried to turn away from Himchan, which is when the elder’s hand came up to cup his unmarred cheek and brought it back to him. “I love you.”
Jongup was in denial for all of three seconds before Himchan was kissing him again and taking his breath away just as every kiss they had ever shared had done. He no longer had the energy to refuse Himchan, though it wasn’t as though he were truly refusing or fighting against him, he simply felt…compelled to give in. Whether this was their last time to be together or not, Jongup didn’t have it in him to decide what he wanted one way or the other. Besides, Himchan was amazing as convincing him to do whatever he wanted. And Jongup was amazing at giving in to Himchan’s every whim.
It wasn’t long before Himchan’s finger was prodding at his entrance and the substance that made it easier for entrance shocked Jongup because he had no idea when Himchan had had time to grab such a thing and how that was even possible. He swallowed and ignored that fact because he didn’t want to jinx it and he didn’t want to ruin what little time they had together.
The preparation was the same that it had always been. Himchan kissed over his neck and stroked his side while slowly pressing a finger into him, then another and another and it wasn’t long before Jongup was writhing beneath him. Sweat broke out on his skin and he was panting heavily. Jongup felt an intense amount of desire at this point and he didn’t think that he could breathe evenly even if he tried. Himchan’s calloused fingers always felt so teasing inside of him and his body above his was so warm even though he was still clothed and even though they were in a cell where he had been tortured and where his blood littered the ground, he felt…okay. Given all that he had endured the past week, he was honestly feeling okay at that moment and it was nice. It was nice not to have to fear what Himchan was going to do next, fear whether or not he was even affected by doing what he did. All of this was simply…nice and okay.
“Please…” Jongup finally muttered, the first coherent and audible word since Himchan started to prepare him. It was such a nice feeling to be filled even with just his fingers for now. It was so nice to have Himchan kissing him and stoking him gently after all that the man had done to him and it was so nice to feel so nice.
“You’re sure?” Jongup opened his eyes again finally and smiled breathlessly up at the man he knew that he could never fall out of love with. And he nodded. “Good.”
When Himchan’s body left his, that fear returned because for all Himchan knew, it was a ploy. It was to get him comfortable and pliable before implementing some other sort of torture. Himchan saw this look on his lover’s face and he smiled lovingly.
“I’m just undressing.” Himchan’s definition of undressing was taking off his shirt and setting it over on the table with the torture devices so it wouldn’t get dirty from the floor. His pants came undone, but weren’t removed. And when he cock was pulled into view, Jongup pushed himself up a bit, looking at it in the same eager way that he had looked at it for the past year. It was such a delectable treat that he never had in his mouth enough; that was only because Himchan took more pleasure from pleasuring him than receiving pleasure himself.
“Hurry, hyungie…” Jongup said as he lay back on the bed, unable to keep himself up any longer due to muscle weakness from his restraints.
Himchan stared over his naked lover, easily ignoring the cuts and welts and everything else that he had been the cause of and still saw all the beauty underneath them. “Of course…” Himchan said huskily before moving back to his spread lover’s legs, situating himself between them and smirking when Jongup’s legs twitched when he tried to move them into a better position that would give Himchan the right angle of entry. There was something erotic about having Jongup at his mercy, unable to do anything but accept whatever he was given. At least this time, Himchan intended to please his lover. Himchan opened his mouth to speak, but Jongup beat him to it.
“I’m ready.” The younger one breathed out in that same needy tone that he had spoken with for months now, when he had gotten over his shyness and came to terms with the fact that it was okay to want to have sex multiple times a day.
“Fucking hell, Jongup.” Himchan moaned and tilted his head back. Said man was sitting in the front seat of his car, the seat pushed away from the steering wheel to give Jongup more room. The younger man was sitting on his lap, both of them mostly dressed but for Jongup’s bottoms that had been removed to make this possible. “So…tight.” Himchan grunted out as his lover rocked his hips skillfully as though he had been doing this for ages, or been paid to. Either way, it was fucking fantastic.
Jongup smirked, though there was a small tinge of embarrassment on his cheeks that blended in with the flush of arousal. “S-sorry…hyungie.” The man breathed out as he rolled his hips with such perfection that he was hitting his prostate every single time and taking his own breath away. “I just…w-wanted you..” His tone was unlike anything Himchan had ever heard before and it was incredible just how needy he sounded despite already having a cock filling him and in control of the movements.
Himchan had his hands grasping his lover’s hips, not guiding, but simply holding because it was so hard not to when it felt so incredible, felt so good that he didn’t know what he was supposed to do with himself, how he was supposed to deal with the pleasure and eroticism of doing it in a car in the parking garage of the younger man’s building after a date that Himchan had assumed would end innocently enough. “This is so-oh, fuck!” It was an orgasm that had no warning, no hints or signs or anything that would let either of them know that it was approaching. The small shift of Jongup’s hips had created just the right kind of stimulation that it was enough to have him shouting in the confines of the heated vehicle.
Jongup smirked but didn’t stop.
Himchan pressed his cock to the stretched entrance of his lover, looking down at him and never breaking eye contact because he doesn’t want to. What they were doing was risky and could cost them both their lives and he wanted to take advantage of what they had together. He wanted to make the most of it and he intended to do just that. So as he began to press into the man below him, he gasped out softly, but otherwise stayed quiet because he would much rather hear the noises that Jongup made.
He screamed. And for the first time since being here, it was because of the pleasure. It was absolute pleasure that had done this, such intense pleasure that his whole body felt on edge, tensed. He could hear the blood rushing in his ears, he could feel his heart pounding in his chest and he would wrap his arms around Himchan to pull them closer if he didn’t feel so weak. So he settled with writhing just a bit as that was all he could manage.
Himchan didn’t cease moving until he was buried within the tight channel of his lover and it was absolutely incredible. It was perfect. He was tight and warm and everything that Himchan had remembered him being and he felt so lucky that he was the one who knew this fact, that he had the opportunity to do this again. He truly was a lucky man and yet he knew it wasn’t going to last long.
“Baby, I-I…” Himchan started, though Jongup’s body instinctively clenched and it left him mindless for a moment. “I d-don’t have much t-time…” He explained as gently as he could. Carefully placing his hands on Jongup’s body, he still never took his gaze from him, not as he was whimpering with his eyes constantly closing and opening from the pleasure he was so obviously feeling even without much foreplay leading up to this.
“Then…” Jongup managed and it was a couple moments before he could manage anything else. His hands were clenching around nothing and his toes were curling. After all the pain that he had endured, this pleasure was far more than he could handle. “Move.”
The elder man didn’t need any more encouragement. Anytime that Jongup made a demand such as that, Himchan knew that he could listen and trust him enough to know that this was the right decision. He drew his hips back in a slow motion, one that was both teasing and pleasing. It was intense. Just before he pushed back in, he looked down over his naked lover and smiled gently, even though he was feeling an incredible amount of pleasure, he didn’t want there to be any doubt behind his actions at that moment. “I love you.”
Jongup didn’t have the chance to respond before Himchan was driving back into him in just the right angle, with just the right force and with the right speed that he was screaming once again. Thankfully, Himchan knew that it was from pleasure and so didn’t stop there.
He had no intention of stopping because stopping took from the short time that they had together. Stopping meant that he was less likely to finish what he had started and he doesn’t want to leave Jongup hanging, doesn’t want the man to question anything if they were suddenly forced to stop for whatever reason. While he hoped that didn’t happen, he wasn’t going to take any chances. His hips drove in with such force that there was the sound of skin slapping against skin and Jongup’s wounds on the back of his legs would be more irritated by the time that they were done with this, but neither cared.
The pain was easily overridden with the pleasure, which was good for the both of them. Himchan could express his love and Jongup…Jongup could enjoy and experience something other than pain.
It was a short coupling, all in all. Himchan had been feeling desire for Jongup since the moment that he was captured and it had only been quelled during the time that he had been torturing his love for information. Jongup was convinced that he was going to die and so wanted to enjoy this sweet break from pain and fear. It wasn’t long before Jongup was panting out just how close he was, or how good It felt or that he wanted Himchan to move harder, faster, because he was right there and he needed just a little bit more. Himchan gave him everything. There was no one command or plea from the younger man that Himchan didn’t obey. That was just the sort of lover he was.
Jongup’s arm twitched and he tried to move his hand to reach in between their bodies and touch himself. He needed just that extra bit of stimulation and he needed it soon. He needed the pleasure that would be complete if only he could reach himself. But his arm was still too weak. Thankfully, Himchan noticed.
“I got you.” Himchan whispered into Jongup’s ear, his cheek pressed against the unmarred cheek of his lover’s. He released the side that he had been holding and wrapped his calloused hand around Jongup’s length that was weeping with its arousal. At the single touch, Jongup is spasming and Himchan knew he was close. With a couple sure, talented, experienced and skilled strokes of his hand-that was most of all familiar-Jongup was releasing between them, crying out his lover’s name to the high heavens and the sound itself was enough to cause a panic within Himchan, but he still did not stop.
At Jongup’s release, Himchan smiled and looked down at him as though he had put the stars in the sky. The sight of the man in the throes of pleasure, his eyes hooded and unseeing, cheeks flushed and lips parted-beautiful, Himchan thought to himself. It wasn’t long before the contractions of the already tight channel that Himchan was inside of was enough to bring him to his release. It was a few more thrusts, just a couple more moments of concentrating on his lover beneath him, thinking only of him and the pleasure that he derives from his body that set off his orgasm-and what an orgasm it was.
His whole body snapped taut and his hips stilled while his release filled the man below him. His hands gripped Jongup tighter and, while he could hear the whimper of pain that Jongup gave, he couldn’t release until the last tremor passed. And even then…he nearly collapsed down onto the man he had just made love to and he felt perfect.
A goofy smile adorned his mouth like it always did after they made love and while Jongup usually took amusement from such a sight, it was hard to feel amused when he was brought back to reality. This would be the time that they roll over and curl up with one another, when they hold one another throughout the night and wake up in the middle of the night to do it again, and then again in the morning before they had breakfast together and went their separate ways until lunch-because they always met up for lunch. Himchan would pick Jongup up and they’d go out to eat, laugh and talk and be merry. Then they’d go back to their work-their gangs-and not see each other again until they were able to escape home once more. And after a dinner they would share in front of the TV-usually take out-then they’d make it to the bedroom and the cycle would start all over again.
Jongup’s head rest on Himchan’s shoulder, his body curled up against the man that lay on his back, looking up at the ceiling with a content smile on his face. Jongup was smiling as well, only into the skin of the man he had just been made love to by. There was still come inside and on his body, a good amount as that happens when you have a sex drive like Jongup does, one round always enough, but never truly satisfying.
“I love you, hyungie.” Jongup said softly, always the one to say it first and yet never sharp enough to question why that was the case.
“I love you, too.” Himchan said, turning to kiss his lover’s forehead. He had learned to say it back without any hesitance, without fear of being seen through or without needing to hate himself every time he heard it from Jongup.
“My friend started asking about you again…” Jongup kept his friends name’s hidden. He always did. It wasn’t safe to tell anyone, not even the love of his life. “He wants to meet you, but…”
“I know.” Himchan said. It’d been made clear a while ago that his friends didn’t like Himchan even though they never met him. None of them made it clear why, but they did have a good reason to even if Himchan was the only one aware of it. “That’s okay. There’s no rush, baby.” Himchan reassured his lover before grabbing the blanket that had been kicked to the foot of the bed and covered them up. “Let’s get some sleep since I have to head into work early tomorrow.”
There was no argument on Jongup’s part. He simply smiled and kissed Himchan’s chest, just by his heart, and snuggled against him more to fall asleep, never needing long to do that when he was with Himchan.
“Himchan…” Jongup breathed out, that fear returning and Himchan knew that this wasn’t going to last, but that didn’t make it any easier for him.
“I know…but trust me.” He said as he slowly pushed himself up. They couldn’t cuddle like he would want to, they couldn’t linger with gentle kisses and light touches to help one another enjoy and prolong their post-orgasmic bliss. Himchan had to move quickly if he was going to get him cleaned up once more and back into the restraints.
Pulling out created a crude squelch and Jongup winced but didn’t say anything about it, simply whimpered at the loss. He didn’t want Himchan to go, but he figured that that was the end and soon, his life would be at the end as well. It was nice while it lasted.
Himchan had just rose from the cot, purposefully not looking to the weakened man he had tortured and then made love to, and was in the process of tucking himself away before the door to the cell opened with a loud and bone-rattling screech and two separate men stood in the doorway.
Final Part