un regalo per EVERYONE
Eyes on the Prize
by ? // for EVERYONE
characters/pairings: Gokudera/Yamamoto
rating: R
warnings: Language, sex, character abuse
wordcount: 1318
summary: Yamamoto discusses his suicidal tendencies and Gokudera attempts to cure him of his dark thoughts.
notes: Um. I hope you derive at least a little bit of pleasure from this. <3
"I can't believe I almost-" Yamamoto stopped his sentence short, chuckling to himself and looking away as if the mere memory of the fence was damning.
Gokudera and Yamamoto were sitting alone on the rooftop of Namimori High. Tsuna was home sick today, but despite the Tenth's absence Gokudera had found it in his heart to keep his moronic classmate company. Somehow conversation had turned to how they'd all met each other, which had of course led to Yamamoto's ingenious plan to commit suicide in front of all his classmates. Gokudera rolled his eyes. Only Yamamoto would be stupid enough to walk himself into this kind of trap.
Gokudera glared at Yamamoto for a couple of seconds before turning his attention back to the empty air ahead of him. The smoke from his cigarette curled out from between his lips as his eyes seemed to focus on something that wasn't really there. "You know," Gokudera said, "I almost liked you. You really almost had me. You could have me. And all you had to do was jump, you lousy mother fucker."
Where Yamamoto's spirits had risen considerably from Gokudera's own form of praise, they now felt buried under the weight of his words. He looked over at Gokudera only to see him smirking deviously.
"Well, I guess you did jump. But you even fucked that up. And to drag the Tenth into it?" He shook his head, smile all but gone now. "Unforgiveable. If you're gonna kill yourself, do it fucking right."
Yamamoto's jaw dropped. He tried to recover, tried to laugh off the harsh words like he normally did, but his lips quivered and the noise he made was hardly amusing. "K-kill myself? Are you serious?" His eyes were wide like plates. Gokudera's chest hurt from holding in the laughter. Why was he holding it in? His busted his gut like the idiot was a comedian. In a way he was. Daytime slapstick, right there.
"You should have done it," he said, grinning like the jackass he was, "Should have killed yourself. I mean, it was almost an accident! They replaced the damned fence for your stupid sake." He laughed raucously. "Look at it. I mean it, you fucker, look at it." He took a hold of Yamamoto's jaw and pointed it at the offending area of the school building. Yamamoto looked like he was torn between anger and sadness, the former losing like it always seemed to do, and Gokudera just laughed again.
"Do you really want me to like you? You really want to show me you're sorry?" He laughed again and bit at the protruding part of Yamamoto's jawbone under his ear. "You already got me, baseball boy. This is for the Tenth.
"Keep your eyes on the fence," he growled, ripping Yamamoto's trousers open with his usual violent grace. He slipped his thin piano fingers underneath the elastic of Yamamoto's skin-tight briefs and took a hold of his cock, smacking Yamamoto's jaw with the back of his free hand. "I said the fence, fucker. Remember what you did to the Tenth." Once he saw Yamamoto's eyes focused back on the fence he'd tried to throw himself off of, Gokudera pulled slow and hard, grinning as he saw the other's Adam's apple bob. "That's right," he muttered. "Eyes on the prize. I don't want to see you move a muscle. Just think about how you were gonna die."
Yamamoto's breath was faster, and his chest felt tight, and he could hardly see the fence at all any more. Tears were welling up in his eyes. He was blinded by the blue in the sky, the bright overwhelming fullness of it all. He couldn't even see the fence anymore. "Gokudera," he huffed, fingers clenched against the dusty concrete.
"Shut up, idiot." Gokudera's lips were flush against his ear, so warm, too hot and dry. "Fucking retard," he added, pressing and jerking his victim hard with each and every word. Yamamoto groaned, and Gokudera pressed tight against him, squeezing his dick tighter and tighter with each passing stroke. Yamamoto tried very hard, really, to do what Gokudera asked, to just keep his eyes on that damned fence, to reflect on his mistakes, but it was harder to focus the louder his heartbeat got in his ears, and Gokudera's breathy accompaniment was hardly helpful. He knocked his forehead into Gokudera's and initiated a biting, sloppy kiss, squeezing Gokudera's ass with his hand while he was at it. "Fuck!" Gokudera grumbled, biting Yamamoto's lip hard enough to draw blood. His hand kept going, fingers digging into the head of Yamamoto's cock with a single-minded harshness. The tear caught in the corner of Yamamoto's eye dribbled down the side of his cheek while Gokudera, in his own way, tidied up the bloody mess he'd made. "You're such a fucking pussy!" Gokudera was relentless. Was Yamamoto learning his lesson if he was appreciating his punishment? Because, fuck, no one called him a pussy, or tortured him like this, and it was probably the most amazing thing he'd ever done, and he had almost left the world without ever having done it.
He moaned weakly when Gokudera bit down on his neck. They were breaking the rules. He'd forgotten all about the fence by now. "Gokudera," he murmured, desperate, already hugging Gokudera as close to himself as he could. Gokudera's body responded in turn by rubbing against Yamamoto. Triggered by the press of Gokudera's hard cock against his vest-covered ribs, Yamamoto came violently, groaning wordlessly into the strands of Gokudera's hair that found their way into his mouth.
Gokudera could've cared less. He shoved his hand into the front of his pants and finished himself off, spent and flustered for only half a minute before he had recovered enough to remember the other person he was there with.
"Don't forget what you did, you idiot." Gokudera wiped his hand off on the leg of Yamamoto's pants and stood, swiping the dust off his ass from the dirty concrete they'd been sitting on. "I'm going to visit the Tenth. He'll expect to see you tomorrow, so don't get any funny ideas." He slung his bag over his shoulder and left, the heavy roof entry door closing with a dull click.
Yamamoto was a mess in every sense of the word. He spent a few minutes spacing out, not thinking about anything, before he snapped out of his reverie enough to notice that lunch had long since ended. He stood up, covering the embarrassing stain on his pants with his messenger bag, and went over to the fence he'd been commanded to stare at earlier. He shook the railing, unfazed at its sturdiness - it was newly installed, after all - and looked down below him. The front of the school was practically empty. Not many people just left school in the middle of the day, at least not through the front doors like Gokudera did. He could see him below, even the smoke trail that followed him, see how blithely he did his unassigned task of backing Tsuna's every move. He didn't even look back at the school, much less up at the roof top - looked like it wasn't even on his mind.
Yamamoto sighed and leaned over the bars. If he looked down, it was easy enough to imagine his desolate, broken body there at the foot of the school. He was sure Hibari would scorn his name, ruining the school's reputation over something as stupid as baseball and fear. It almost brought a grim smile to his face. But when he looked up, up at that sky - the sky Tsuna wanted to keep him alive to see, that Gokudera had reminded him of through the bars of the fence - he somehow found it hard to accept that the corpse downstairs had ever even been a remote possibility.
by ? // for EVERYONE
characters/pairings: Gokudera/Yamamoto
rating: R
warnings: Language, sex, character abuse
wordcount: 1318
summary: Yamamoto discusses his suicidal tendencies and Gokudera attempts to cure him of his dark thoughts.
notes: Um. I hope you derive at least a little bit of pleasure from this. <3
"I can't believe I almost-" Yamamoto stopped his sentence short, chuckling to himself and looking away as if the mere memory of the fence was damning.
Gokudera and Yamamoto were sitting alone on the rooftop of Namimori High. Tsuna was home sick today, but despite the Tenth's absence Gokudera had found it in his heart to keep his moronic classmate company. Somehow conversation had turned to how they'd all met each other, which had of course led to Yamamoto's ingenious plan to commit suicide in front of all his classmates. Gokudera rolled his eyes. Only Yamamoto would be stupid enough to walk himself into this kind of trap.
Gokudera glared at Yamamoto for a couple of seconds before turning his attention back to the empty air ahead of him. The smoke from his cigarette curled out from between his lips as his eyes seemed to focus on something that wasn't really there. "You know," Gokudera said, "I almost liked you. You really almost had me. You could have me. And all you had to do was jump, you lousy mother fucker."
Where Yamamoto's spirits had risen considerably from Gokudera's own form of praise, they now felt buried under the weight of his words. He looked over at Gokudera only to see him smirking deviously.
"Well, I guess you did jump. But you even fucked that up. And to drag the Tenth into it?" He shook his head, smile all but gone now. "Unforgiveable. If you're gonna kill yourself, do it fucking right."
Yamamoto's jaw dropped. He tried to recover, tried to laugh off the harsh words like he normally did, but his lips quivered and the noise he made was hardly amusing. "K-kill myself? Are you serious?" His eyes were wide like plates. Gokudera's chest hurt from holding in the laughter. Why was he holding it in? His busted his gut like the idiot was a comedian. In a way he was. Daytime slapstick, right there.
"You should have done it," he said, grinning like the jackass he was, "Should have killed yourself. I mean, it was almost an accident! They replaced the damned fence for your stupid sake." He laughed raucously. "Look at it. I mean it, you fucker, look at it." He took a hold of Yamamoto's jaw and pointed it at the offending area of the school building. Yamamoto looked like he was torn between anger and sadness, the former losing like it always seemed to do, and Gokudera just laughed again.
"Do you really want me to like you? You really want to show me you're sorry?" He laughed again and bit at the protruding part of Yamamoto's jawbone under his ear. "You already got me, baseball boy. This is for the Tenth.
"Keep your eyes on the fence," he growled, ripping Yamamoto's trousers open with his usual violent grace. He slipped his thin piano fingers underneath the elastic of Yamamoto's skin-tight briefs and took a hold of his cock, smacking Yamamoto's jaw with the back of his free hand. "I said the fence, fucker. Remember what you did to the Tenth." Once he saw Yamamoto's eyes focused back on the fence he'd tried to throw himself off of, Gokudera pulled slow and hard, grinning as he saw the other's Adam's apple bob. "That's right," he muttered. "Eyes on the prize. I don't want to see you move a muscle. Just think about how you were gonna die."
Yamamoto's breath was faster, and his chest felt tight, and he could hardly see the fence at all any more. Tears were welling up in his eyes. He was blinded by the blue in the sky, the bright overwhelming fullness of it all. He couldn't even see the fence anymore. "Gokudera," he huffed, fingers clenched against the dusty concrete.
"Shut up, idiot." Gokudera's lips were flush against his ear, so warm, too hot and dry. "Fucking retard," he added, pressing and jerking his victim hard with each and every word. Yamamoto groaned, and Gokudera pressed tight against him, squeezing his dick tighter and tighter with each passing stroke. Yamamoto tried very hard, really, to do what Gokudera asked, to just keep his eyes on that damned fence, to reflect on his mistakes, but it was harder to focus the louder his heartbeat got in his ears, and Gokudera's breathy accompaniment was hardly helpful. He knocked his forehead into Gokudera's and initiated a biting, sloppy kiss, squeezing Gokudera's ass with his hand while he was at it. "Fuck!" Gokudera grumbled, biting Yamamoto's lip hard enough to draw blood. His hand kept going, fingers digging into the head of Yamamoto's cock with a single-minded harshness. The tear caught in the corner of Yamamoto's eye dribbled down the side of his cheek while Gokudera, in his own way, tidied up the bloody mess he'd made. "You're such a fucking pussy!" Gokudera was relentless. Was Yamamoto learning his lesson if he was appreciating his punishment? Because, fuck, no one called him a pussy, or tortured him like this, and it was probably the most amazing thing he'd ever done, and he had almost left the world without ever having done it.
He moaned weakly when Gokudera bit down on his neck. They were breaking the rules. He'd forgotten all about the fence by now. "Gokudera," he murmured, desperate, already hugging Gokudera as close to himself as he could. Gokudera's body responded in turn by rubbing against Yamamoto. Triggered by the press of Gokudera's hard cock against his vest-covered ribs, Yamamoto came violently, groaning wordlessly into the strands of Gokudera's hair that found their way into his mouth.
Gokudera could've cared less. He shoved his hand into the front of his pants and finished himself off, spent and flustered for only half a minute before he had recovered enough to remember the other person he was there with.
"Don't forget what you did, you idiot." Gokudera wiped his hand off on the leg of Yamamoto's pants and stood, swiping the dust off his ass from the dirty concrete they'd been sitting on. "I'm going to visit the Tenth. He'll expect to see you tomorrow, so don't get any funny ideas." He slung his bag over his shoulder and left, the heavy roof entry door closing with a dull click.
Yamamoto was a mess in every sense of the word. He spent a few minutes spacing out, not thinking about anything, before he snapped out of his reverie enough to notice that lunch had long since ended. He stood up, covering the embarrassing stain on his pants with his messenger bag, and went over to the fence he'd been commanded to stare at earlier. He shook the railing, unfazed at its sturdiness - it was newly installed, after all - and looked down below him. The front of the school was practically empty. Not many people just left school in the middle of the day, at least not through the front doors like Gokudera did. He could see him below, even the smoke trail that followed him, see how blithely he did his unassigned task of backing Tsuna's every move. He didn't even look back at the school, much less up at the roof top - looked like it wasn't even on his mind.
Yamamoto sighed and leaned over the bars. If he looked down, it was easy enough to imagine his desolate, broken body there at the foot of the school. He was sure Hibari would scorn his name, ruining the school's reputation over something as stupid as baseball and fear. It almost brought a grim smile to his face. But when he looked up, up at that sky - the sky Tsuna wanted to keep him alive to see, that Gokudera had reminded him of through the bars of the fence - he somehow found it hard to accept that the corpse downstairs had ever even been a remote possibility.