Comments | la_destinazione: of Carlos

la_destinazione

of Carlos

Apr 12, 2007 17:05

Carlos sat on the couch, trying to look as comfortable as possible. The soft couch felt like a beggar stool that attracted the judgemental glares of ruthless passer-bys and he knew that every little action he made betrayed his anxiety ( Read more... )

Comments 6

anonymous April 13 2007, 13:30:23 UTC

I love this piece of writing. Can continue...???
-Aaron

la_destinazione April 14 2007, 06:08:07 UTC

yup yup! I have a series of stories already

tylerdurdensg April 13 2007, 13:48:40 UTC

did you write this? i like his cynicism.

la_destinazione April 14 2007, 06:08:27 UTC

yeah I wrote it, but I think it doesn't flow very well. any suggestions on how to improve?

tylerdurdensg April 15 2007, 08:30:11 UTC

i thought the flow was ok, except maybe the dialog section seemed to dominate. so it seemed more like a vignette than a full story. does this continue?

la_destinazione April 16 2007, 14:15:43 UTC

yup, it continues in a series of short stories