in which es rambles about her relationship with merlin atm:

[la_esmeralda_]

So if you've been with me in fandom for any amount of time, you'll probably know I love Gwen and Morgana the hardest, solo and as a ship. That will always be true.

But with s3 I began to realise -- especially while doing a regular podcast with kepp0xy and crayford -- the show wasn't going to be the story I wanted. The things I was invested in were not what the

Comments

[dollsome]

THIS, exactly.

[la_esmeralda_]

*le sigh* though otoh, fandom's output has always been better than canon in this show :P

[dollsome]

SO TRUE. It is genuinely like there are two canons in my head, the one we see onscreen and the real one where everyone has profound depths of feeling. :D

[starry_laa]

I'm not so sad about Gwen, because I feel they're not going to give up on her. But I feel saddened about Morgana. Even up until Sat's ep, I thought that *maybe* they'd give her more depth. But when she was spurting stuff about Arthur and wanting him to die and not even feeling a little conflicted about Uther's death, I gave up. And when she also didn't get to confront Uther and have a big show down, I gave up even more.

The scenes with the boys are lovely and I love that there's so much depth with them. I just wish I could say that about everything else :(

[la_esmeralda_]

yeah, I do think we may have some nice Gwen things coming up. Hopefully it'll make up for the episodes where she's incidental!

[mrinalinee]

It's weird how diminished my feelings about Merlin are. I was really frustrated for a long time, and I totally understand why people are frustrated and angry and tired (and delighted! I understand that too!) but the show - or my perception of the show - has so little to do with, idk, me that I watch the episodes and enjoy them and seethe just a tiny bit over how little I see of Gwen and Morgana and what little they have to do, and then I barely think about it again. And I have a lot of fannish investment, which is really weird, but the thing that I'm invested in, that I think about a lot and want to read and write fic for, is miles away from the actual show that I'm watching. I mean, in the sense that I still want to write Gwen/Morgana crack AUs where they are pirates and read all the Morgana redemption fic in the world, and somehow that exists totally separately from what I'm watching. So I don't know. That was a lot of rambling about something I claim not to have a lot of feelings about.

[la_esmeralda_]

I've always understood all the extreme reactions people have to this show - it's one of those things that's bound to drive people bats and joyful in equal measures. Usually different crowds with each season :P

I was saying to someone upthread, the things this fandom has made from all the different corners will always be the greatest thing about the show :P

[gnimaerd]

eh - fact is I stopped expecting anything of this show two years ago when they did to Morgana exactly what I knew they would (because it's easier) but had hoped against hope they wouldn't, and turned her into a pantomime villain. After that, I wrote fanfic that made me happy and ceased to have any real emotional investment in the show's actual story arc and frankly it made the whole dealio a lot more enjoyable. Maybe I've got cynical in my old age but I don't think we can rely on ANY tv drama (especially in this genre) to provide us female characters who are as well-rounded and fleshed out as the men. It's pleasant surprise when they DO crop up but I just don't sit about expecting them any more and certainly not in Merlin (or Doctor Who anymore, tbh). The guys in charge of the Merlin just don't care about female characters beyond using them as props for the boys. It doesn't OCCUR to them to give them real shit to do

[la_esmeralda_]

gni i know i knowwwwwww

But I think you underestimate people's measure of optimism for the things they love. Post-s2, I was ready to forgive the Morgana-butchering on the assumption it would be better in s3. I was steadily proved wrong with every episode, which did mean I was prepared for s4 to be this and my resulting... general indifference. Three episodes in, and clearly I'm right. I'VE JUST BEEN RLY SLOW TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE SIGNS HUSH.

And I knew I knewww Gwen/Morgana's relationship always stood the least chance of being explored. But I genuinely thought Morgana's story about wanting Uther dead would be looked at fully - and not just in a chance flicker of regret after it happened - but from conception of the plan to its execution to both their feelings.
(Similarly, Gwen looking after Uther. I knewww they probably wouldn't look at it. But god what was the point if they weren't going to explore a bright future queen looking after a prejudiced tired old king?)

(lol wow I irritate myself just thinking it. THIS IS WHY I ONLY FOCUS

[gnimaerd]

mm I think partly it's cause, for all of it's faults, I genuinely still LOVE Merlin (it's become too entwined with such a significant period of my life genuinely getting better, for me not to develop an almighty soft spot for it, warts and all) and feel a lot of the fans now declaring their disillusionment may possibly be doing it a disservice by apparently expecting so much better. Merlin is what it is, and though it has flashes of brilliance, it's never shown much of an inclination towards treating the women the way we WISH they would. It's a fault that I lay at the producers' feet, and one that may just drive me, at the final BFI next year, to stand up and ask completely bluntly why they've decided it's appropriate to give the female characters so little development when their viewership is 56.7% female and their hardcore fanbase is 99% female, but it doesn't effect my perception of the show as a whole. It just makes me want to hurl books at Johnny Capps' head

[la_esmeralda_]

like they're abandoning a slightly stupid child for not being able to do algebra when they've been told from the start that this poor sod of a kid hasn't even learned to count yet

it was a kid four years ago. it's taking its gcses now so maybe it should get some tuition or something cus those grades aren't going to get it into a good uni. oh, and maybe try and give in an essay or two on time cus at this point, it's just looking lazy.

lol i'm preparing lessons can you tell :P

[veleda_k]

I haven't gotten around to watching season four yet. I'm hoping I'll be able to take your view of things. Honestly though, I'm not holding out hope.

For me, every TV show I watch balances itself on two ends. One end is how the show upsets me: sexism, racism, homophobia, etc. The other end is how it satisfies me: narratives, plot points, character types etc. For me to enjoy a show, the latter has to outweigh the former. I don't expect shows to be perfect (although I hold out hope), I just want to end an episode feeling more pleasure than rage. Past season one Merlin lost a lot of what made me happy (the four way character dynamic, Morgana's character, and perhaps most of all, a strong and joyful female friendship), and the stuff that bothered me skyrocketed

[la_esmeralda_]

oh, the OT4. That didn't not need to go so quickly. And at the very least, it should gone with full focus on its changing.

the show has changed dynamic with every season, it can give a person whiplash. and so far, I've kinda gone with the flow. Well, I'm still going with the flow and enjoying it, but for the first time I feel like I'm compromising Quite A Bit.