Mirage of Blaze vol. 15 meta
I have been catching up on some Mirage of Blaze reading, making my way through Volume 15 thanks to quaint_twilight's excellent translating. Much, much praise and humble thanks to her and eager looking forward to more.
Irobe! How I loved his conversation with Naoe. I feel like I'm finally beginning to have a sense of who Irobe is. Of all the Yashashuu, he seems the most "objective" or, if you will, removed from the angst and anguish that is Naoe and Kagetora. Yet he clearly also loves them deeply, as evidenced not only by the fact that he's been hanging around for 400 years with them but also by the sheer amount of thought he's obviously put into understanding the dynamics of Naoe/Kagetora madness. He gives Naoe a good, stiff talking to, and it's certainly about time, and his discussion of their being tied to each other because their conflict validates their respective senses of self is right on the money... but...
...then Naoe trips off into a brilliant illustration of how thoroughly the bizarreness of the Kagetora/Naoe ship beggars analytical description.
Irobe is like, "So he needs you because you make him feel superior, and you need him because you're fueled by your struggle to supersede him, and don't you see that this means that the very circumstances that hold you together are going to ensure that you always make each other miserable? What are you? Idiots?"
And Naoe is like, "Yes, but attachment, pity, satisfaction, rejecting satisfaction/pity, sex could be good but pity, metaphorical nakedness (and maybe literal), weakness, strength, conquest, contentment, struggle, extremity--and he's very perceptive, you know--total commitment to misery, self-betterment, trying to achieve his greatness, which I can never achieve, but struggle pity bad because insecure anyway, security lie, see-through lies, truth, desire, um...."
And Irobe is like, "Say again?"
And Naoe is like, "I have no idea what I just said either. Just draw a big X through all of that. Basically, I want him."
Yes, the Naoetora really does transcend comprehensible description. And I love the much needed illustration of the closeness between Naoe and Irobe, such that Naoe is able to open up and have this conversation with him. It echoes the earlier scene in which Nagahide grudgingly agrees to not tell Kagetora that Irobe is back; he doesn't really like Irobe's behavior, but he trusts him enough to take him at his word. Since Irobe has been so absent for so much of the story, this is the kind inclusion in the group that we need to see.
A couple of fascinating things about Naoe's chat with Irobe:
Irobe tells him flat out, early on, that he doesn't need to worry about being inferior to Kagetora because he has already proven that he is at least as good a leader as Kagetora is. This makes no impression on Naoe whatever. "Nope," he replies, "not where it counts. What's impossible for me he does with ease." The marvelous thing about this scene is that both of them are right. It's about time that someone pointed out that Naoe is not this abjectly inferior human being. Of course, he's not. He's extremely impressive. Yet Naoe is also right that the qualities that he's judging himself against are qualities where Kagetora excels; they just come more naturally to him: things like instinctive selflessness.
I was also intrigued by Naoe's approach to the possibility of having sex with Kagetora. He basically tells Irobe, "We could be having great sex all day, and I could content him, but it would be a lie." Points to note: Naoe has spent a great deal of this story lunging at Kagetora and being rebuffed. That's pretty much over (at least as a main trope). After their amorous adventures with Naoe in Kaizaki's body, Naoe knows he can get Takaya--willingly--into bed. That's not really at issue anymore. But Naoe doesn't want Takaya if the price is Takaya's being pitiful. He doesn't want the Takaya who clings to comfort and is ready to accept a lie to get it. He wants, perhaps, a more "informed" consent; he wants Takaya to be strong.
This is also fascinating foreshadowing of volume 20, where they do have great sex all day for days on end. But by this point, it's not a lie. Takaya is back in his right mind and has his Naoes, Kotarous, and Kaizakis all straightened out, and he's not just seeking comfort either; in fact, he puts himself in a very, very scary (not to say painful) position when they first have sex. And yet, there's still an echo of Naoe's vol. 15 premonition. The sex doesn't fix everything. Indeed, by the second or third time, Naoe is already uncomfortably aware of not being content with this; it's not giving him Takaya in the way he'd (perhaps) hoped it might. Vol. 15 seems to indicate that he already understands that this discontent is likely to persist.
And on the subject of sex, vol. 15 also gives us some good vol. 20 foreshadowing from Takaya's POV. Poor Takaya, who has such an overactive conscience, is tearing himself apart over desiring Kaizaki and losing his feelings (his "loyalty") for "Naoe"/Kotarou. Naoe exacerbates this, of course, by making himself so darn available as Kaizaki. By vol. 20, Takaya has himself well and truly convinced that he's a whore who'll jump anyone who gives him the comfort he seeks. Naoe, in perhaps the kindest and most important words he has ever bestowed on Kagetora, tells him, "No, you won't," and goes on to explain that he was Kaizaki all along. (Poor Takaya's brain!) But this revelation comes a little too late. A lot of the psychological damage has already been done, the poignant part of which is that--as much as "Kaizaki's" advances to a fairly doped up Kagetora are questionable--that sort of sexual comfort likely was what Takaya needed just then to have the strength to keep going. There is no good solution here. There's no way Takaya could have gotten through those Kotarou!Naoe years without being deeply damaged. He would be if he knew Naoe had died; he is when he thinks Kotarou is Naoe, injured by his friends' deception, injured by his own, possibly less injured than he would be if he knew the "truth" moment to moment. Poor Takaya!
I'm a little confused by Kotarou at the moment. A few chapters ago, he seemed to be genuinely falling to Takaya, but when he kisses him in 15.7 (is it?), the narration describes as pure manipulation, which seemed a bit regressive. I dunno. I did rather like Takaya's non-response in a feel-sorry-for-Kotarou sort of way.
Irobe! How I loved his conversation with Naoe. I feel like I'm finally beginning to have a sense of who Irobe is. Of all the Yashashuu, he seems the most "objective" or, if you will, removed from the angst and anguish that is Naoe and Kagetora. Yet he clearly also loves them deeply, as evidenced not only by the fact that he's been hanging around for 400 years with them but also by the sheer amount of thought he's obviously put into understanding the dynamics of Naoe/Kagetora madness. He gives Naoe a good, stiff talking to, and it's certainly about time, and his discussion of their being tied to each other because their conflict validates their respective senses of self is right on the money... but...
...then Naoe trips off into a brilliant illustration of how thoroughly the bizarreness of the Kagetora/Naoe ship beggars analytical description.
Irobe is like, "So he needs you because you make him feel superior, and you need him because you're fueled by your struggle to supersede him, and don't you see that this means that the very circumstances that hold you together are going to ensure that you always make each other miserable? What are you? Idiots?"
And Naoe is like, "Yes, but attachment, pity, satisfaction, rejecting satisfaction/pity, sex could be good but pity, metaphorical nakedness (and maybe literal), weakness, strength, conquest, contentment, struggle, extremity--and he's very perceptive, you know--total commitment to misery, self-betterment, trying to achieve his greatness, which I can never achieve, but struggle pity bad because insecure anyway, security lie, see-through lies, truth, desire, um...."
And Irobe is like, "Say again?"
And Naoe is like, "I have no idea what I just said either. Just draw a big X through all of that. Basically, I want him."
Yes, the Naoetora really does transcend comprehensible description. And I love the much needed illustration of the closeness between Naoe and Irobe, such that Naoe is able to open up and have this conversation with him. It echoes the earlier scene in which Nagahide grudgingly agrees to not tell Kagetora that Irobe is back; he doesn't really like Irobe's behavior, but he trusts him enough to take him at his word. Since Irobe has been so absent for so much of the story, this is the kind inclusion in the group that we need to see.
A couple of fascinating things about Naoe's chat with Irobe:
Irobe tells him flat out, early on, that he doesn't need to worry about being inferior to Kagetora because he has already proven that he is at least as good a leader as Kagetora is. This makes no impression on Naoe whatever. "Nope," he replies, "not where it counts. What's impossible for me he does with ease." The marvelous thing about this scene is that both of them are right. It's about time that someone pointed out that Naoe is not this abjectly inferior human being. Of course, he's not. He's extremely impressive. Yet Naoe is also right that the qualities that he's judging himself against are qualities where Kagetora excels; they just come more naturally to him: things like instinctive selflessness.
I was also intrigued by Naoe's approach to the possibility of having sex with Kagetora. He basically tells Irobe, "We could be having great sex all day, and I could content him, but it would be a lie." Points to note: Naoe has spent a great deal of this story lunging at Kagetora and being rebuffed. That's pretty much over (at least as a main trope). After their amorous adventures with Naoe in Kaizaki's body, Naoe knows he can get Takaya--willingly--into bed. That's not really at issue anymore. But Naoe doesn't want Takaya if the price is Takaya's being pitiful. He doesn't want the Takaya who clings to comfort and is ready to accept a lie to get it. He wants, perhaps, a more "informed" consent; he wants Takaya to be strong.
This is also fascinating foreshadowing of volume 20, where they do have great sex all day for days on end. But by this point, it's not a lie. Takaya is back in his right mind and has his Naoes, Kotarous, and Kaizakis all straightened out, and he's not just seeking comfort either; in fact, he puts himself in a very, very scary (not to say painful) position when they first have sex. And yet, there's still an echo of Naoe's vol. 15 premonition. The sex doesn't fix everything. Indeed, by the second or third time, Naoe is already uncomfortably aware of not being content with this; it's not giving him Takaya in the way he'd (perhaps) hoped it might. Vol. 15 seems to indicate that he already understands that this discontent is likely to persist.
And on the subject of sex, vol. 15 also gives us some good vol. 20 foreshadowing from Takaya's POV. Poor Takaya, who has such an overactive conscience, is tearing himself apart over desiring Kaizaki and losing his feelings (his "loyalty") for "Naoe"/Kotarou. Naoe exacerbates this, of course, by making himself so darn available as Kaizaki. By vol. 20, Takaya has himself well and truly convinced that he's a whore who'll jump anyone who gives him the comfort he seeks. Naoe, in perhaps the kindest and most important words he has ever bestowed on Kagetora, tells him, "No, you won't," and goes on to explain that he was Kaizaki all along. (Poor Takaya's brain!) But this revelation comes a little too late. A lot of the psychological damage has already been done, the poignant part of which is that--as much as "Kaizaki's" advances to a fairly doped up Kagetora are questionable--that sort of sexual comfort likely was what Takaya needed just then to have the strength to keep going. There is no good solution here. There's no way Takaya could have gotten through those Kotarou!Naoe years without being deeply damaged. He would be if he knew Naoe had died; he is when he thinks Kotarou is Naoe, injured by his friends' deception, injured by his own, possibly less injured than he would be if he knew the "truth" moment to moment. Poor Takaya!
I'm a little confused by Kotarou at the moment. A few chapters ago, he seemed to be genuinely falling to Takaya, but when he kisses him in 15.7 (is it?), the narration describes as pure manipulation, which seemed a bit regressive. I dunno. I did rather like Takaya's non-response in a feel-sorry-for-Kotarou sort of way.