Title: Sleep In Heavenly Peace
Author:
laceandgraceFandom: SPN RPS
Pairings: Jared/Jensen
Word Count: 1,946
Rating: PG-13; mild sexual references
Author’s Note: Written for
fluffandfold. Beta'd by the ever-faithful TrishFace, who was online at an insane hour to help me with my insane needs.
Prompt: Jensen sings Jared to sleep.
San Antonio’s weather - even in December - doesn’t allow room for excuses. When Jared wakes up in his old bedroom to the dawn’s light, Jensen’s cold nose isn’t buried in his neck. Their feet aren’t two pairs of ice cubes, nothing more than numb skin twined together by the length of their legs. In fact, they’re scarcely touching at all. The only place where skin contacts skin in the mornings is in the gentle press of Jensen’s palm against his arm. And that contact alone is more out of their need to know that the other is there than out of sharing the necessary heat. It’s a comfortable warmth that’s just enough by being near each other under the sheets.
So the temperature doesn’t really explain why they find themselves comfortably snuggling on Jared’s parent’s sofa in the living room long after everyone else has gone to bed on Christmas Eve. And there’s no denying what it is. They are snuggling, but Jared’s become a lot more comfortable with that thought lately. When they first started cuddling, he’d been unusually insistent about curling up around Jensen from behind and had refused to do it any other way. It had only taken Jensen about three minutes of light-hearted arguing to figure out that Jared had something against being the little spoon.
I’m not worried about it, he’d said, settling down and melting himself into the curves that Jared set for him. You’ll change your mind soon.
Jared’s mind has changed. And Jensen had known him enough at the time to patiently wait for it. It seems to be something that Jensen is constantly doing for him. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Ever patient and loving…and waiting. It’s something he loves about Jensen, as selfish as it might be. Jared loves that Jensen knows he needs to be reminded that he’s worth waiting for.
So now, Jared can’t complain really. Not when they’re both crammed onto the narrow couch, Jensen pressed up behind him with his arms holding tightly onto Jared’s middle so that he doesn’t go tumbling off of the edge. The arm rest he’s using as a pseudo-pillow is hardly the most comfortable thing he can think of, and his neck is starting to ache. But the rest of him feels warm and safe, surrounded by Jensen and the smells that make being held by him so familiar - soap, coffee, and the semi-sweet scent that he’s only ever been able to label with his best friend’s name.
The white lights on the Christmas tree fade in and out slowly, winking at both of them among the shadows of the rest of the house. Jared doesn’t try to fight the lazy smile of contentment that he’s sure is making him look like an idiot right now. He figures that it’s dark enough. Jensen won’t see it right away if he tries to look.
Jensen is wearing the soft hoodie that Jared bought for him for his birthday last year. He reaches back with a hand and plays with some of the loose fabric, rubbing it between his fingers. Jensen makes a soft, contented noise and bumps his nose against Jared’s ear. “Little spoon,” he murmurs drowsily. Jared can feel the soft smile his lips form against the back of his head.
“Yeah,” Jared drawls lazily, letting the vowel slide long and rich like taffy being stretched. It feels like a moment to be hushed, so he keeps his words soft. “Can’t sleep yet.”
“Gotta sleep,” Jensen answers, voice nothing more than a gentle breath that tickles and makes him squirm slightly. A huff of a laugh, and then he’s pressing soft, lingering kisses to Jared’s throat. Jared can recognize them now, and knows them for what they are. Not something to warm him from head to foot - at least not that way. Not yet. These kisses mean the same thing that Jared means when he presses his hand to the back of Jensen’s neck, thumb brushing over the place where Jensen’s pulse beats.
I love you. I’m so lucky. We’re so lucky. You know that?
Jared shifts slightly, snuggling in further against Jensen’s chest and stomach and letting a soft sigh escape his lips. His toes curl slightly when kisses turn into little, velvet licks against the patch of skin right behind his ear. He growls low and hushed. “Can’t sleep when you’re doing that, Jen.”
“Just like your taste,” Jensen breathes, air curling from between his lips and making Jared shiver. But he slows down, happy with one last gentle brush of the lips before he settles back again, chin pressed to the top of Jared’s head.
Jared’s hands trace paths along Jensen’s arms, trying to feel skin underneath the sweatshirt until he gives up and curls his fingers over Jensen’s hands against his stomach. “Can’t sleep,” he murmurs again, unable to keep his eyes squeezed shut for more than two seconds before they slowly drift open. One of his feet starts to jiggle at the ankle, betraying the twitchiness that Jensen and his kisses brought into existence. “Tomorrow’s Christmas.”
Jensen chuckles, breath warming the top of his head and chest vibrating solidly against his back. His grip on Jared’s waist tightens ever so slightly. “You sound like a little boy, all excited to unwrap his presents in the morning.” The tone of his voice informs Jared that he’s not teasing. That he’s not going to store away the information for blackmail use later. It’s more along the lines of, You’re fucking adorable. And that’s okay with me.
He grins secretly to himself, craning his neck just far enough so that he can see the reflection of Christmas lights in Jensen’s eyes. Jensen smiles back, the corners of his eyes crinkling with the telltale sign that it’s a genuine expression. “Not excited to open my presents,” Jared whispers softly, chest tightening with the sudden vulnerability he’s opening himself to. It’s not much, but sometimes he still feels so naked with Jensen’s gaze easily bypassing all his facades. “Just want to see you open yours, Jen. I can’t wait to see your face. Hope you like it.”
There’s a flash of something like tenderness that softens Jensen’s features and makes him go loose and pliant around Jared’s body. It’s almost like Jensen’s melting from his confession, and that’s enough to give Jared all sorts of ideas. But for later, maybe. Once the pure, liquid heat and fondness has managed to stop overflowing his veins and limbs.
“Gotta sleep. Or Christmas will never come,” Jensen says, by way of answer. Jared doesn’t mind, because he knows what Jensen means to say by saying nothing. I know that was hard for you. I love you so much for being vulnerable. I love you. I love you. “It’s the typical Christmas curse. Night goes on forever if the children don’t go to sleep.”
Jared yawns, trying to hide it in the couch cushion. “Not tired. Can’t sleep here anyway.”
“Won’t let go of you,” Jensen mumbles into his hair, nuzzling his nose into Jared’s longer curls and inhaling softly. “I’ll never let go of you, Jay. Just relax and close your eyes.” One of his palms skates over the slight curves of Jared’s stomach and settles over the place where his heart beats steadily in his chest. Jared tries to do what he says, tries to focus on the way that Jensen’s hand feels like it belongs there.
But he can’t seem to keep his eyes closed. The Christmas lights cast wrinkled patterns on the ceiling, and after a moment, Jensen sighs softly behind him. “Roll over.”
Jared hesitates for a beat, and then slowly begins to wriggle around enough so that he can awkwardly turn over in Jensen’s arms. He finally settles down on his opposite side, fingers absent-mindedly playing with Jensen’s sweatshirt again. Now he’s got Jensen’s face to look at; green eyes to drown in and freckles to count, even though he knows there are forty-eight of them and he’ll go cross-eyed if he tries again. Their noses are nearly touching anyway, his boyfriend’s toothpaste-scented breath tickling his sense of smell. And wow, yeah. He could probably get away with kissing Jensen too, but…
But Jensen looks the exact kind of sleepy that made Jared want to cuddle with him to begin with. He’s gazing up at Jared through thick eyelashes, eyes half-open in the I’m-about-ready-to-fall-asleep way, instead of the come-to-bed way. He’s still coherent enough to register what Jared’s saying though, because his skin flushes lightly when Jared brushes knuckles over his cheek and whispers, “So handsome, Jen. Love you so much.”
Jensen makes a low, happy noise, something like the sound that he lets out in the mornings when Jared wakes him up with a mug of dark roast coffee in hand. He wriggles a little bit himself, the motion not going unnoticed by Jared’s anatomy. But it’s a half-hearted reaction, because this really is more comfortable - being able to lay face-to-face. He’s already a quarter of the way to dreaming, and if Jensen stops moving around he just might be able to drift off soon.
The shorter man eventually settles again, moving up just high enough so that their foreheads can press together evenly. Jared’s eyes flutter closed as a pleased smile slightly curls his lips, and it only takes a minute or two of his muscles slowly relaxing for him to realize that the short space between them isn’t silent. Jensen’s humming very faintly. And Jared’s not exactly musically inclined, so it takes him a few moments to realize that it’s the first few bars of Silent Night.
Jensen doesn’t sing to him often. Jared doesn’t understand it completely. A part of him knows that his best friend is just ridiculously shy (a quirky trait for an actor, but he likes Jensen’s quirks to an unhealthy level), and that the shy part hasn’t quite vanquished its small fears of singing in front of other people without being coaxed for a half hour. Half the time that Jared catches Jensen singing quietly to himself when he thinks that no one’s listening, he holds back to keep out of sight and just enjoys the sound as long as it lasts. (The fact that the other half of the time he ends up licking every note from his boyfriend’s mouth doesn’t really need to be mentioned.)
But this. This is different, because Jensen’s humming low in his throat to calm him. To let him know that, Hey, I’ll hold onto you during the night. I’ll be here in the morning. And yes, I’ll kiss you too. To draw him mentally closer to that place where they both can rest for a while. It’s almost as if Jensen’s holding his hand and tugging him along through that simple link of fingers. Come with me. I’ll watch you. Just come rest with me.
When Jensen transitions smoothly from soft humming to gentle, flowing words, Jared’s eyes are feeling very heavy. He can still feel Jensen’s arms around his waist. Can still lazily stroke his fingers over the sides of Jensen’s sweatshirt and feel the hard curves underneath, but the movements are growing slower and weaker. He can feel himself sinking through the first layer of darkness that leads to the place halfway between dreaming and being awake.
“Sleep in heavenly peace…” Jensen’s words are stretching long and lethargic, breathier and more stilted as they both inhale and exhale with each other. Jared finally lets himself sink into the dark warmth, his last thoughts only of Jensen’s voice and breath.
Sleep in heavenly peace.
On Christmas morning, he wakes up to a sea of green and a lover’s kiss. Ho, ho, ho indeed.
^^^
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