Srsly girl, you've got a gigantic flist. Idk how you manage it. I always aspired to be that person who had that big of an flist, but now I've just sort of realized that's not me! I'd much rather have a small tight-knit flist that I can actually keep up with and comment/read then a giant one that doesn't know me at all and vise versa.
You can like someone and still unfriend them. :] I liked all the people I cut! It's more specific than that. It's like, 'do I actually keep up and talk to these people frequently? how well do I know them, and if the answer is not very, then do I /want/ to get to know them better? '
Things like that. I based my cut on a few factors: maintenance, closeness, compatibility, and of course love! :D I have a few fairly new friends on my flist that I did keep through the cut, but that's just because I do really want to get to know them, or I felt like we could be really close. :]
So if you do a cut, don't think of it as 'I don't like these people I'm taking off the list.' or 'If I defriend them I'll never see/hear from/talk to them again.' There's always the world outside of LJ, like instant messengers, texting, emails and stuff. I'm not sure where this generalization that if you defriend someone that definitively means that you're no longer really 'friends' or can't talk to each other. XD it's just a list.
I´ve been cut - you know that, of course :D - but I felt I´d let you know I´m completely ok with that. I should do something like this too... but I don´t know how to cut people off my friend-list without feeling bad about it :D
Yay! I'm super happy that you understand. And believe me, I ALWAYS feel bad when I do a cut, no matter how reasonably people react. Even when people are nice, like you and a few other people have been, I still feel awful
( ... )
I think you´re really brave for doing it and believe me, I understand your reasons perfectly :)
Sometimes it feels I shouldn´t feel so bad about cutting, because not being able to manage the friendlist often feels horrible, too. A lot of time I feel like: "This person is really nice and I really should comment, but their interests are so different and I have nothing to say to the topic." But that´s usually preferable to: "Who is this person and when and why have I even added them?" That usually makes me wonder if I am a bad person.
I stopped adding people simply because they added me. But I am still close with - as close as one can be on LJ - only few people on my f-list... Which means it is really high time I cleaned the list... :(
Oh good, sometimes I feel like I don't make any sense at all.
Thank you sweetie!
I don't think that you shouldn't feel anything at all, because I don't think that's healthy. But I think you should allow yourself to feel bad. Like, yeah, this is an uncomfortable kind of sad thing, because these are people and it's possible that this will affect them in a negative way. But that's what life is. You make choices that may make other people 'feel bad'. You're not responsible for their feelings. A bit of regret, and 'feeling bad' for those people that you're affecting is okay, but it shouldn't ever stop you from making a necessary decision/choice. And you're most certainly not a bad person for having those sorts of thoughts. There are far worse thoughts to have.
That's a wise choice, I stopped doing that a while ago also. I suggest you do that list clean up and come talk to me again later. :] And tell me how it goes! Ilu dearheart~
Comments 18
(The comment has been removed)
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
Things like that. I based my cut on a few factors: maintenance, closeness, compatibility, and of course love! :D I have a few fairly new friends on my flist that I did keep through the cut, but that's just because I do really want to get to know them, or I felt like we could be really close. :]
So if you do a cut, don't think of it as 'I don't like these people I'm taking off the list.' or 'If I defriend them I'll never see/hear from/talk to them again.' There's always the world outside of LJ, like instant messengers, texting, emails and stuff. I'm not sure where this generalization that if you defriend someone that definitively means that you're no longer really 'friends' or can't talk to each other. XD it's just a list.
Reply
Reply
Reply
I think you´re really brave for doing it and believe me, I understand your reasons perfectly :)
Sometimes it feels I shouldn´t feel so bad about cutting, because not being able to manage the friendlist often feels horrible, too. A lot of time I feel like: "This person is really nice and I really should comment, but their interests are so different and I have nothing to say to the topic." But that´s usually preferable to: "Who is this person and when and why have I even added them?" That usually makes me wonder if I am a bad person.
I stopped adding people simply because they added me. But I am still close with - as close as one can be on LJ - only few people on my f-list... Which means it is really high time I cleaned the list... :(
Reply
Thank you sweetie!
I don't think that you shouldn't feel anything at all, because I don't think that's healthy. But I think you should allow yourself to feel bad. Like, yeah, this is an uncomfortable kind of sad thing, because these are people and it's possible that this will affect them in a negative way. But that's what life is. You make choices that may make other people 'feel bad'. You're not responsible for their feelings. A bit of regret, and 'feeling bad' for those people that you're affecting is okay, but it shouldn't ever stop you from making a necessary decision/choice. And you're most certainly not a bad person for having those sorts of thoughts. There are far worse thoughts to have.
That's a wise choice, I stopped doing that a while ago also. I suggest you do that list clean up and come talk to me again later. :] And tell me how it goes! Ilu dearheart~
Reply
Leave a comment